My Obsession With Vice Captains Continues
(This is actually just sliced off from a post I made while very ill. I'm still sick, but not so much that the poor formating of those posts doesn't bother me.)
Now before I do this, I want to make one thing very clear: I know fuck all about 3/6 of these characters. That's right, a full half of the folks I'm about to comment on have had all of a combined 5 minutes screentime. I am basing a healthly portion of this on like four sentences.
This is "Murder Machine" Killer here, in a meeting with Captain Kid, Magician Hawkins and Roar Of The Sea Apoo. This is Murder Machine Killer... Saying by far the most reasonable, well thought out of all the dialogue in that scene.You guys, on the Kid Pirate's flagship (I'm going to go ahead and guess... Galleon? Seems legit.) KILLER "So good at murder they named him twice" THE MURDER MACHINE IS THE VOICE OF CALM REASON.This lead my brother and I to discussing what would happen if all three captains and first mates were dropped in the middle of the ocean and the first mates had to get them shore of a nearby deserted island and survive (ie: don't kill one another) for an entire week. That's the kinda losers we are.
Mina: Law would be fine. Bepo is a fucking polar bear. Those beasts can swim. He'd leave two captain-encumbered humans well behind.
Bro: He'd apologize for it though.
Mina: That would just make Luffy see it as a race
Bro: You say that as if Luffy didn't already see it as a race.
Mina: Yeah okay very true.
Luffy: Zoro, swim faster! We can totally beat Torao!
Zoro: Damnit Luffy stop kicking my sides! It's not a race! -Immediately starts to speed up to try and beat a goddamn polar bear because it's Zoro-
Luffy: Whoo! Ha! -Turns back to stick out tongue at Law and Bepo- Nnnnaaaa. Hurry up, Torao! You're going to lose!
Law: Strawhat-ya what are you .... Of course. We're lost in the sea and your having fun. This isn't a game! -To Bepo, whispering his plan, of course he has a plan- Just get us close. I should be able to use my power to get us there first.
Killer: The important thing is that we're all okay. We should be careful to pace ourselves - that island looks to be a good distance away and the currents here are unknown and unpredictable. Anyway, I'm just glad that you're okay, Kid.
Luffy: -Stops 'cheering' on Zoro for half a second to give and honestly cheerfull wave as they pass by Kid and Killer-
Kid: Screw that. You're gonna beat these motherfuckers or I swear to God I will kill you myself. NOW FASTER GODDAMNIT!
-The rest of this scene is mostly idiots, an annoyed Law, and the only sane man Killer just surviving on island. We did this for like an hour-
I'd like to believe this is roughly how this scenario would play out during a filler episode. Like when they took four devil fruit users to a water park or that time Luffy and Law were turned into human pets. The most important thing, though, is that my little brother supports my madness. He's read the entire manga and seen most the anime and yet 100% approved this.