Apr 19, 2019
How’s Your Dating Service
Date with Lee Jordan. Date Fee: $23.83 Customer Comments: "We had....a good time. (Male in late 50s)" https://en.shindanmaker.com/695711
Tagged by: @reckless-wildfire Tagging: Anyone
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How’s Your Dating Service
Date with Lee Jordan. Date Fee: $23.83 Customer Comments: "We had....a good time. (Male in late 50s)" https://en.shindanmaker.com/695711
Tagged by: @reckless-wildfire Tagging: Anyone
If Lee Jordan Met Bruce Banner...
You and your big mouth, Jordan.
Lee squinted at the page of the 100th article on genetics Dr. Banner had slapped in front of him. All Lee had said was if magic was genetic then mutants may have a variation of the magical gene or genes limiting what parts of reality they could affect.
“Dammit,Jim. I’m a wizard,not a Doctor,”said Lee doing his best McCoy.
“I think you need more coffee,”said Bruce waving an image away from his monitor’s display. “This isn’t Star Trek...”
Lee turned a page, “You’re on a first name basis with the alien inspiration for a Norse God, you’re talking to a wizard, and you’re a mad scientist who had to save his friend from falling through a space portal ripped above New York City.Are you sure?”
“Do you want me to kick you back over to W.A.N.D.?”
Lee wanted to know who named these things. It stood for Wizardry, Alchemy and Necromancy Department.
“No, they’re investigating necromancy over there. That’s the ‘ N’.Just...no.”
“Then, be useful. If I have to read magical academia then you have to...science.”
“You’re the boss, Banner,”sighed Lee trying to comprehend the sentence he’d read three times now. “At least, I think you are. Avengers have higher clearance than me, right?”
“I...Probably.” Bruce stuck to his work unless something was too suspicious. “Doesn’t mean they tell me things.”
Officially, Lee’s title was related to being a liaison for the British Ministry of Magic with S.H.I.E.L.D. Unofficially and in reality, it was a boring title and he was suppose to....he wasn’t sure anymore because he had been assigned to something Public Relations-ish but...
Lee had clawed his way up from beat reporter to columnist and talking on wizarding wireless networks. Let’s just say having a distrust of government organizations when you had to work for an international one did not go well. He was only here because he’d been excellent at sniffing out information. He’d cracked a story on magic-tech hybrid crime, but he’d uncovered information S.H.I.E.L.D. adjacent and ended up stopping a bomb.
Knowing Kingsley Shacklebolt, former minister of magic and rising politician Percy Weasley was probably the only reason he wasn’t in a cell somewhere.
Lee wiggled in his chair. “Why do I have to read this again?” He knew why.
Bruce sighed, “It’s one thing to have a suspicion. Or rely on some sort of wizard feeling. I want you to be able to defend your hypothesis in a scientific way. To do that you have to understand the science.”
Lee looked over the top of the paper he held in his hands. “Wizard feeling?”
Bruce frowned, “It’s all of the stuff you’ve given me. Not that term, but ‘one must focus the mind and imagine the shape of the final form and direct heart’s desire to transfigure to the utmost of your ability.’ Think about what you want and the object’s going to change? Wizard feelings. In a textbook. For higher magical study. When was this written?”
Lee closed his eyes. “Uh, that one? 1934.”
Bruce arched a brow, “And you remember that off the top of your head? Or did you search your wizard feelings and the force?”
Lee dropped the paper back onto the lab table. “ I know when it was written because I had to pour over the stupid tomes myself for my own research... You kid, but that is how it works.”
“No, that’s how you experience it. It’s not how it works.”
Lee pulled his wand from it’s holster pointed it at a paper clip and turned it from metal to stone. “Thought. Wizard feelings. Direct it with wand. Point. Bam.Stone paperclip.”
“What? No. Let me--”
Lee handed it over. Bruce examined the stone paperclip. “How? Put it back.” He held it back out.
Lee didn’t take it and waved his wand again.
Bruce frowned and stared at the now perfectly normal paperclip.”I don’t believe it.”
Lee arched a brow and leaned towards him, sitting on the edge of his chair. “It changed in your hand and you don’t believe it?”
“It’s a magic trick.”
“I know,”said Lee.
“No, I mean...it’s not real. You switched it somehow.”
“I didn’t even touch you. How’d I do that?”
“You ever been to Vegas?”said Bruce putting his glasses back on to examine the paperclip more closely.
“Magical governments hate Vegas for a reason.But yes, Vegas is fun.Wish I was in Vegas right now.”
“It’s a nightmare. And it was the stick, wasn’t it?Stick has some sort of molecular manipulation--”
“Are you daring me?”said Lee standing up and placing his wand on the table. Lee rubbed his hands together as if warming up.“I can do it without the stick.”
“No,”said Bruce skeptically. He closed his fingers around the paperclip. “You can’t--it’s a trick.”
“You work with Thor. What do you think all that was?”said Lee.
“Thor is an Asgardian who fully acknowledges his magic is advanced science.”
“Dr. Strange?”
“Who?” said Bruce folding his arms.
“New player. Works in New York. Used to be a surgeon.”
“Never heard of him,”said Bruce.
“Right. Are you sure Hulk isn’t magical?”
“What like I’m possessed by a demon or something?”said Bruce reconsidering his threat to kick Jordan out.
“Wow. Dark. Not what I meant. Not getting demon magic vibes. But Hulk has seen ghosts right?Astral forms? That’s gotta be some kind of supernatural connection.”
“Reading people’s files I see...”said Bruce pulling another dusty magical textbook he’d stuck sticky notes all over from a pile.
“And you’ve probably read mine. I only saw parts of your’s. I don’t get it. You’ve been reading all the stuff I’ve given you. This isn’t the first time I’ve turned an object into something else in front of you—“
“Senses can be decieved.Reading things from the magical perspective will help me see your blind spots. Make sense of it. But most of this isn’t even logical —it’s feeeeelings. I hate it. I can’t make sense of it.”
“You wanted fundamentals first so be specific with what you want. Studies into the scientific analysis of magic has been bogged down by racists who always ruin everything, lack of funding, the fact that magic interferes with electricity if not properly directed or shielded. So that stuff is way more recent.”
“Why wouldn’t I want the latest stuff?Dammit, Jordan.”
“You have to understand the basics first, too. You can’t understand the latest stuff until you slog through this. All the feelings. I could’ve given you my Hogwarts textbooks but they’re mostly focused on practical application which won’t be of any use to you unless we figure out how to shield tech in the lab. And you didn’t want my history books so...”
“But you said what you just did was magic. I didn’t see anything blow up with interference. Is it because it was small?” He held up the paperclip.
Lee motioned with his hand towards Bruce. “Yeah.”
Bruce stared at the paperclip in his hand again. It was green instead of silver in color.“Very funny.” He set it on his desk.
“No wand. Couldn’t have switched it. It was in your hand the entire time.Believe me yet?”
“I believe I want those articles.The ones with actual science.”
“I need specifics. You can’t just say ‘magic’ just like I can’t just say ‘science of heating things up.’”
“Thermodynamics,”said Bruce not looking up from the book.“Transforming one. Transform something.”
“You wanna know how I did it?”
“Yes I—“ Bruce glanced at the paperclip on his desk again. It was purple. “Now you’re just poking at me...”
“Et cogito sic est.”
“Latin now? I can show off,too. Get the big guy to toss you at WAND.”
“ ‘I think it and so it is.’ That’s how I did it.”
“Transfiguration. That was the word. The bibical sounding one. Get me articles on that.”
“Mutants say Jesus was a mutant. Maybe he was a wizard. Or both.”
“There’s a question you can answer for me. Are you religious?”
“Ooh. Personal,”said Lee. But he shook his head. “No. Agnostic.”
“Can’t decide?”
“I’m open to it, but I can’t know for sure. I’m okay with that for now. Are you religious?”
“Studied them all,”said Bruce. “Still studying. They’re Useful. Comforting. Motivating.”
“But you’re still skeptical. So, you only believe in science?”
“I didn’t say that. You did.”
“What do you believe in?”
“I believe you better keep reading about genetics,”said Bruce. “And I want those articles.”
“Yes, boss...”said Lee finding his place in the article again.
“Not...your boss.”
“Yes, Doctor.”
“Shut up, Jordan.”
Different Kinds of Fire (Part 1/2)
@weasleybean (because the meme got out of hand so the actual meme thing will be part two)
The Gryffindor common room was slowly emptying out. A red-headed girl was scribbling away in a cozy corner. And a barely into his teens dreadlocked Lee Jordan was comfortably flipping through Quidditch Conversations magazine in his fireside armchair.
“Ah. Young love?”said 14-year-old Lee. His eyes were still fixed on his Quidditch magazine, but 11-year-old Ginny Weasley was the closest person in the common room.
“What?”said Ginny shoving the black diary away into her bag. “I don’t–”
“Harry’s pretty impressive,”said Lee finally closing his magazine. “But so are you.”
“Me?”
“From what I hear,” Lee leaned forward. “You’re a firecracker, Ginny Weasley.”
“Hear from who?”said Ginny narrowing her eyes.
“I have my sources. Also, stop stalking Percy. It’s creepy.”
“It’s not my fault he and what’s-her-face–“
“Clearwater.” Lee paused. “It’s not a secret.”
“You can keep a secret?”
“I like talking, but you think the twins would stick around if I couldn’t keep secrets? No chance.” Lee waved a hand. “Forget Percy. Always tell someone you fancy them. Write something. Poetry. Songs. Spark the fire. Be a firecracker. Don’t make yourself small.”
“Is this a trick?”said Ginny shouldering her bag and moving closer to where Lee was flicking his magazine back open.He met her gaze.
“Why would this be a trick?”
“Twins like a laugh.”
“I don’t joke when it comes to the important things. Love tops the list.Brotherly advice from Lee Jordan.”
“I have enough brothers.”
“From a much wiser than your brothers’ friend, then.”
“Good-night,Lee,”said Ginny shaking her head and ascending the staircase to the girls’ dormitory.
Lee didn’t learn about the poem she’d written Harry until he had to defend himself from an upset Ginny Weasley. He tried his best to soften the blow, but he knew words only said so much. He hugged her instead. “I know it hurts, but you were brave. And you tried and sometimes that’s all you can do.”
***
But Lee had never meant his advice for harder things. And when the message scrawled in crimson paint but dripping like blood appeared on a wall he wondered if their firecracker had tried to go after the monster herself. Her skeleton will lie in the chamber forever.
They’d failed her.
Harry and Ron acted. They saved her. But Lee had still failed her. He’d never had a little sister. His cousin Artemis was like his older sister, but that was different. Older brothers were suppose to protect.
He visited her once she was safe in the infirmary, looking smaller than Lee had ever seen her. What could he say. He joked about something. He couldn’t even remember what. The only thing related to what had happened was before Pomfrey shooed him away. “I’m glad you’re safe.”
***
And he tried to think of lighter things. He wondered after that if Ginny would make the mistake he’d made with Angelina: Not knowing when to stop when it came to a one-sided fancying. Harry had saved her life. If that wasn’t attractive, Lee didn’t know what was.
She didn’t make that mistake.He figured Hermione or someone more sensible had given better advice. And Lee was proud even if he hadn’t had anything to do with that.
Dear Ginny, Dean Thomas? Well done. Ignore Ron. And before you wonder how... I wasn’t checking on you. People gossip and I’m better listener than people think. Occasionally, I have to whack sense into people. But don’t try to hex anyone—they were siding with you.
Anyway, I’d say don’t get into trouble, but... It’s us. So...
Be safe, Firecracker.
****
Dear Ginny,
I hear Harry’s come to his senses.Now,I’m jealous being myself didn’t work with Angelina. And I fancied her before you even met Harry.
(Don’t tell her I said that.)
Guess I’m just gonna resign myself to just being funny and attractive and yet unloved.
Off to sulk by singing all the sad songs at a karaoke bar.
But don’t worry. I still love ya beneath my bitterness Gin-Gin.
****
Bill and Fleur’s wedding was suppose to be a celebration and light in darker times. They were meant to hold on to joy even as the bridegroom still bore scars from Greyback’s attack.
George’s scars had not healed yet—the bandages were still fresh on his head. Fred thought encouraging George to have a bit of a flirt with Fleur’s cousins would cheer him up. Lee agreed.
And that meant cheering Ginny up fell to Lee. Harry, ever the hero, had chosen some mystery mission over his heart. Fred wasn’t good with this kind of problem anyway. And Lee owed it to Ginny.
He hadn’t said to keep holding a flame for Harry, but...What was encouraging Gryffindor courage if it didn’t include romantic love,too?
“Care for a dance,Firecracker?”
Ginny took his hand, but still regarded him with suspicion as they danced.“I know what you’re doing, but I’m fine. I’m not gonna cry over this.”
“Never said you would. And that’s not why we’re dancing.”
“Why then,hm?”
“It’s a party. And we have to make your Great Aunt Muriel even more offended. Between your dress ad my gold tuxedo and faux-hawk she’s probably jabbering away near the punch bowl.”
“We should tango.”
“Do you even know how to tango?”asked Lee.
“Don’t you?”
“I don’t know if you’re joking or not.”
“You can’t tell?”
“I’ve stopped trying to figure Weasleys out. Too much effort. Not enough reward.”
“Lee Jordan throwing in the towel. I never thought I’d see the day.”
“Still don’t understand that expression.”
And so they danced until Death Eaters and chaos cut in.
“HA” (love Fred)
Pinning your muse to a wall meme. HA for a joke:
Fred’s back collided with the wall. “What the he-“
Lee placed a finger on his lips to stop the question. Lee was close. Too close.Fred could’ve shoved him away.He played Quidditch and Lee wasn’t in horrible shape but physically, he was slimmer and he couldn’t match him. That look was what was confusing him and the way Lee’s fingers stroked his cheek. And Fre had to ask,“...feeling okay there, mate?”
Fred tried to remember where they’d left those love potions.
Lee’s hand rested on his clothed chest and he started to say something,“I need—“
Fred was gonna run. Because he didn’t want to have this kind of—Lee had never looked at him like that and—
Lee spoke again. “—need—“
Lee grinned and stepped back. “—to get Creevey to take a picture of your face.”
“Godric, Lee you had me going there.”
Lee tilted his head.“How did I have you going?”
“Shut up.”
“This is what you get for last week. I would’ve kissed all of them—every single one—“
“I know, I know...”said Fred sighing.
“Factor that in next time. And don’t leave that stuff lying around,”said Lee.“Oh and you need to tell Seamus.”
“Why the hell do I need to tell Finnigan?”
“Because I’ll split 2 galleons with you. He didn’t think I’d do it.”
Fred arched a brow.“So he doesn’t know you...”
“I don’t even know. Maybe I just like kissing. How am I suppose to tell?”
“Beats me,”shrugged Fred. “Finnigan better have the money.”
“Dean Thomas vouched for him. I trust him more so...You’re right, he better.”
🐇- For a secret item they keep (stuffed animal, comfort object, etc)
He keeps the D.A. coin as a badge of honor, but that isn’t a secret.
Until the war, Lee didn’t tend to keep secrets of his own. He could keep your’s, but that was a matter of loyalty.
There were plenty of misses as far as snatchers and Death Eaters looking for “River.”
They only caught him once and that was more than enough. That? He doesn’t talk about. It cost him a week that felt like an eternity in—Lee didn’t know if he believed in Hell, but something like it. And it cost him his Uncle Sean.
But before Lee lost him, his Uncle had saved him.There was proof of that. And if anyone found it at the bottom of his Potterwatch trunk, it wouldn’t mean anything to anyone else.
It was dark. It was cold. He was numb. Lee was flat on his back, unmoving save for his eyes searching the darkness. Maybe he’d feel something if it was warmer. Maybe he’d be warmer if he glimpsed light. They’d full body bind cursed him. He was almost certain. Almost.They kept saying he could move if he wanted to, that it was all in his head, but they lied. They lied all the time. Unless they were right. But he didn’t want them to be right.
Footsteps.
Lee shut his eyes. If they thought he was asleep sometimes he gained a few more seconds, but only sometimes.
Keys jingled. The cell door scraped open and Lee’s pulse shot up.
“Lee? Can you hear me?”
He knew that voice. Another trick. They enjoyed watching a quiver of hope fade from his eyes. He kept them shut. Eyelids as a form of resistance? Almost funny. Almost.
Fingers touched his face and Lee wanted to snarl and jerk away, but—
The hand moved to Lee’s neck, checking for a pulse.“Wake up, Lee. We’re here. It’s just me. You need to get up.”
You know I can’t. You know that. Stop lying.
But his eyes betrayed him anyway, the sting of fury had already welled up, and tears streaked his face, shining in the pale light cast by the lone wand in the cell.
“Don’t cry. We’ll bring you home.”
This wasn’t sadness. Not right now. This was rage. And the crackle of lightning wouldn’t flow through his fingertips. This wasn’t Star Wars. He couldn’t weaponize his rage here.But he could make them see it. It didn’t matter if they’d start in again and he’d shrink again. This is what he had.And Lee’s eyes snapped open ready to will them to burn like lazers even if the thought was folly. He wasn’t Superman either.Almost funny he should think of muggle things now when that was what they were punishing him for: the muggle half of him as if he could be divided in such a way. Almost funny, but not quite.
“What’s that look? Think we should’ve come sooner? I agree...” The man who looked like his Uncle waved his wand and the weight and magical bindings lifted from Lee’s body.He didn’t move. Maybe if he didn’t move, he’d have a few more seconds of—
“We were by the lake skipping stones the last time I saw you.”
It was harder to be angry.Proves nothing. That’s in my head. They’ve seen so much already. Lee stared up at him.
“We need to go.” His Uncle knelt down and placed a stone in his right hand and curled Lee’s fingers around it. “They wouldn’t give you a weapon, would they?”
And Lee would’ve thrown the rock. He was left handed. Something they’d only know if they paid attention.
And his Uncle placed his wand in Lee’s other hand. Lee knew that wand. The grooves in the handle design, the worn woood beneath his fingertips. His Uncle would let him practice with it without his parents knowing before Lee was old enough for Hogwarts.
Lee embraced him, giving in, wanting that hope.
Lee still had the stone, but he didn’t have his Uncle. But it isn’t in his trunk to hold on to grief and sadness. It’s a reminder to hold on to the little things, to hold on to the memories, and to keep fighting.
G, P, T?
Valentine’s Day Alphabet
Gift-Is your muse good at gift giving?
Lee is a pretty good listener so when he’s sincere he’s great at it. But sometimes his desire for a laugh interferes. See: Anything involving his confetti cannon.
Partner-What does your muse look for in a partner?
Do they have a sense of humor? Do they call him out when he’s out of line? Are they loyal? And are they passionate about something?
Lee, in general, is drawn to that kind of person romantic or otherwise. See Fred and George, who were ambitious and hilarious and Angelina Johnson, who was Quidditch Captain and was brave enough to put her name in the Goblet of fire.
True Love-
He definitely believes in true love. Lee is a romantic.
FIVE SENSES aesthetics
bold what applies to your muse.
SIGHT //: small towns. big cities. six thirty curfews. lights that take the place of stars. blanket nests. light through the blinds as a wake up call. found family. finding a single star in the middle of new york city. window shopping. watching something terrible and enjoying it. growing numb to the sight of injustice. wilted flowers. faded caricatures. bright, bold colors.
HEARING //: crickets and lightning bugs. car engines and ac units. a phone call to mom / dad. laughing with friends. jokes that are so bad you have to laugh. the clicking of computer keys. noise cancelling headphones. the sound of silence. muffled music from another room. drumming fingertips on a table. clicking of pens. listening to a clock and swearing the ticks get slower. ringing in the ears. the voice of someone you love. pitch shifted songs.
TOUCH //: being held close during a long night. fleeting reassurances. holding hands when you’re scared. brushing fingers through strands of hair. freshly dried clothes. bruises on your knuckles. silk and satin. your favorite pet’s fur / feather. wringing your hands anxiously. snuggies. comforters in the dead of winter. nails against skin. cold metal. leather in summer.
TASTE //: coffee in the morning. tea in the evening. bubblegum that lost its flavor. alcohol burning the back of your throat. homemade cooking, no matter what’s made. blood in your mouth. stale air. menthol. fresh vegetables. the first meal you cook by yourself that tastes good. foreign sweets. fast food. bittersweet. sour. spicy. sweet. bitter. too much salt on fries.
SMELL //: morning glories and honeysuckles. freshly cut grass. hot chocolate in the middle of winter. nail polish. acetone. hospital rooms. smoke. hair spray. your favorite shampoo / conditioner. the scent of home. perfume. cologne. something burning. wet “dogs”. copper. metal. unemptied ash trays. something familiar yet different.