How..
How is it that I can work a full time fucking job and have to fear that in 24 days that me and my mom will be fucking homeless. I work as much as I possibly can and my second fucking job doesn't give me ANY fucking hours and I can't get ANOTHER job because I need to try to help find SOME place that I'd be able to possibly afford for a month or two while my mom tries to get a job. My sister is planning on moving back and when/if she gets a job we'll have atleast some sort of income to afford a small place for the three of us.. And GOD FORBID we ask FAMILY for ANYTHING because my mom and I thought that MAYBE since my aunt wanted to get a new house with her grown son (Talking 38 years old) and move out of the little place they have now, that MAYBE we could all move into a BIG and NICE HOUSE for like 1500 or so a month, which would only be 500 from each of us and until my mom could get back onto her feet I could PAY IT... BUT FUCKING NO. GOD FORBID WE HELP HER WHEN SHE NEEDED IT. GOD FORBID WE HELP HER AAAANNNNDDD HER SON WHEN THEY NEEDED IT and then when we are literally on the verge of not having a place to go.. she decides that we are probably just better off finding ourselves a place.. BUT STILL. I AM TWENTY THREE FUCKING YEARS OLD And this might sound selfish I FUCKING KNOW AND IM SORRY; I shouldn't have to worry about being homeless. I shouldn't have to worry about my mom being homeless WHEN I WORK A FULL TIME JOB.. I barely make 800 a month.. And thats not going to cut it for rent, along with food and vehicles and FUCK INSURANCE I GUESS.. I just have been spending the past 48 hours TRYING to find SOMETHING and literally asking anyone I can for help, so much as to ask for help over the internet and nothing is working and I'm trying to keep a cool head because I know my mom is freaking out and she probably cries when Im not around just like I do when shes not around because I feel like I'm a fucking failure.. I didn't go to college because I wasn't prepared for it through highschool and I ended up getting married to an abusive piece of shit which took me almost 4 years to get completely away from him and ruined my young life (I know it was my fucking fault, PLEASE don't bring it up because I fucking know.) and threw me into this constant loop of trying to figure out if I am good enough to try to pursue things in my life and maybe try to strive towards some of my dreams.. or if I am going to be stuck going nowhere.. I just.. Where did I go wrong.. What could I have done to deserve this shit.. What could my mom have possibly done to deserve this shit.. All her life she has helped people, she loves people, she literally is the best person I know.. and this shit has to happen to her and it makes me feel like I'm dying inside.. Because there is nothing I can do to help..
