#just personal shit

[ellyehheyhey]

Been working on a demo video for a 2d rig I made and uh, scope has kinda got out of hand. I'm having fun tho.

Soooooon I will have something to show for the last decade of work. Maybe. If I stop having ideas.

[silverofthunder]

why everyone are having babies suddenly???

like... i feel so weird because i never have wanted kids. but then it's like everything around you is pressuring you into it and ugh. i hate it.

not gonna have them. not now. not probably ever.

whenever someone (usually my mom) is talking about having kids, i'm just showing my dog and saying he's my baby. 😁

[thevilhaslanded]

Ok feels weird writing this and its probably more for me than someone else but I know this first part of the year I was super involved in catb tumblr and this past month I guess kinda stopped well lets just say my mental health is a fuck up. I didnt even get that excited with heaton park as i would've probably done in another moment. Anyways if I didn’t respond to anything or that kind of stuff its just my head really I tend to close myself a lot. Of course still following everything that happens here <3 also hourglass and glasgow into rango ?!!?!?!

p.s. please Em @catb-fics never close your blog haha i read it like a newspaper 😂

[casterixe]

Tagged by the lovely @amalthea-felsblood <3 I loved doing this.

https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1712061

https://iseej.github.io/CosmosPersona/index.html

Tagging @alicefiresage and uhhh any other because I am never active! But I'd love to see to see others'. c:

[anxresi]

Just to make it clear, here is a list of people I’m blocking at the moment…

People who send me threats via PM for being a supporter of a ‘white girl racist’ and more personally a ‘bully apologist’ (thanks for that, guys… maybe blame the writers for ruining her character, instead of taking it out on me?)

People who send me questions I’ve answered MANY a time before like ‘what don’t you like about Zoe she’s nice dduuhh’ and ‘Why you watch the show if you not like it’. (Quick answers: 1. BECAUSE THATS ALL SHE IS. 2. I don’t. I get my info on here.)

People who post applauding Zoe and Soquerline for being ‘good characters’ when frankly they’re just late arrival Mary Sue plot devices to make Chloe look worse. If you genuinely think they’re cool for ‘standing up’ against Chloe (which EVERYONE is doing at this point), you and me aren’t going to get along… so it’s best we don’t interact.

People who post saying ‘now normally I’m very open minded but I can’t see how anyone can still be a fan of Chloe after blah blah blah’. NEWSFLASH: You’re not ‘open-minded’, or you wouldn’t be asking such a thing. If you can’t see the problem is not with her but with the startling contrast between Chloe S1-3 to S4-5, then there’s no point trying to explain it.

People who post lots of tags which have nothing to do with the topic they’re discussing because they want added attention. Well, that works in reverse for me. BLOCKED.

That’s it, everyone. Kind of a pointless post, but what can I say… I like to vent. In case you hadn’t noticed. Ciao! 😜

[spooksandstories]

Sometimes i feel like half of a person.

My soul atrophied over the years, stuck in the past, just hurting and hurting and hurting.

It cant be amputated. I dont know if it can be healed.

Do i even understand the shape of it?

The dark pit that is those few years, mud still clinging to my skin, throat clogged.

I pray. Sometimes. For help. Im desperate. Cant the pain just stop? Cant anyone see that im dying?

Mud. Stained. Choking. Hurting.

What can i do? What can anyone do? Nothing, i suppose, you cant rewrite the past. You just grow around it, till the stains fade, still there but faint like an old memory.

I feel small, then. Atrophied soul, small soul, still that small boy trapped and scared.

I think things will get better.

I hope they will.

I just hope it wont take long, i hope it wouldnt hurt so much in the meantime.

[chessalein]

First day back to work after vacation. It feels as if I go back to hell.

As if the time before the vacation was a internship you just try to pull through and vacation was the time when it's over.

But now I have to go back. This night was the longest I ever had. Waking up so often, getting stressed out that my alarm goes off every second and that I have to go there.

I really need something new. I don't want this to be my life.

Sadly my mental state and my problems don't seem to fit any job that is out there. I'm gonna go and try to apply for a librarian, maybe that's something for me.

No deadlines, no 600 costumers a day, half time... Maybe that's my thing. And on the side I try my own thing. Commissions and stuff.

I'm just really afraid that the money won't be enough...

I really wish I had a more normal brain so I could do more regular jobs and just be okay with it. I don't need to love my job. I just don't want a panic attack when I think about it. Or almost cry when I have to go to bed or when the alarm goes off.

I'm sorry for this rant/vent I'm just really nervous and scared right now because I have to get ready and my body just says "no" in all the ways there is. There will be so much stress again, so much fear. And I will have to take actions soon but doesn't matter what I do it's wrong and that stresses me out even more.

I could just quit but then I'm without money, they will ask me soon to take on more work and I don't wanna be there. I would have to say that I don't want this work and then I have to quit. I won't find a new job in a month. My bf will be mad at me because I told them and had to quit. But I don't want to lie to them because they have been really nice to me even with my problems.

I sit here and wonder if this is what my life is all about. Somehow trying to survive at a job and not to get a meltdown because it's too much for me.

I have the feeling I don't have a place in this world and it bothers me. I wanna be part of it, but it feels like every job is one that would crush my psyche.

I wish Video rent stores were still around, the sound good as a job. I could draw my commissions and stuff while no costumer is there.

I have to go now. Throwing down some calming-down Medizin and off we go.

Sorry for the rant again. I'm really just a wreck right now.

[ink--theory]

would you guys mind if I posted art that isn’t splatoon related onto this blog?

like i’ve done it in the past and all but that was back when I didn’t have so many followers lmao (๑ ́ᄇ`๑)