#just writings

[4-pointedstar]

I have some old art of Tnmn, mostly last year's art, I thought I'd share with you all since I have been comfortable being in this fandom.

Though it's quite a lot. Some I may put them into parts.

I'll probably post the old art after October.

[salva-yourlife]

It’s not that I lost myself in you and I’m afraid to do it again It’s that I loved you and you took it for granted and I can’t bare losing you again because the second time around i don’t think I’ll heal because I still haven’t but I want you back so bad already

Night vol

[salva-yourlife]

I hope these words catch your eyes and make them water and you begin to taste bitter in your tongue p> I hope you want to scream and pull your hair out the way you would scream to me about him How blinded I was by the idea of you finally being mine and how much I fed off of the moments you were all about me and talked about me like I made something inside of you shine You thought I would never know what you were doing but in the back of my head I was more prepared for the pain I created for myself than anything, I knew sooner or later you’d leave for him and leaving all of your bags and belongings still in my life You think you have it bad, love only if you knew that tragedy always follows me sooner or later I either ruin it or I push someone to the edge to cause the hurt I just never believed you would leave at the moment where we needed each other the most

Blem (saved drafts 12/12)

[salva-yourlife]

I will be a man of regret all my life, every person who comes into my life I either give them everything and they leave or I give nothing and they want everything but too afraid to give them that because when they receive it they will end up leaving Sooner or later I will be able to move from this but with nothing but regret and that's the part I'm afraid will cause you to hate me I don't want you to think that you were a mistake or a regret but you were simply a lesson for my life on how not to love someone with everything one is capable of when someone doesn't put in the same amount or sacrifice enough... So I'll process you as just someone I cared for way too much making me forget about my own self. You were just too easy to love, you were so pure and tender like a girl who's never been spoiled and shown off but it wasn't better than what you had... so for now I think I'll cross the street just to avoid passing you because you'll catch me staring and my eyes get glossy from the tears that want to pour out to you and say "Puddin, I miss you. I hope you know I fall asleep every night looking at the moon and something in my head hopes you are too because that is the only way my eyes feel at peace, I hope you'll never settle for anything less than I have giving you and will only want more and better. I hope one day I will be able to look at you and not feel misery but happiness because you are smiling with ease and I'm smiling because we finally reached what we always wanted"

Ocean writing

[salva-yourlife]

There’s a lot of things people hate about being hung over There’s a million reasons why I smiled when I woke up hungover especially after today. My hands wanted to contact you, the whole lock myself in a room from everyone and just listen to your voice when I say hi, you respond and you finally get that reaction you wanted from me Last night something happened though As I looked through my messages to find your name, I read the last words you sent me I went on tumblr to message you on there but I read the messages you sent me and the final messages I sent you Then it hit I didn’t want to reply, I erased my text I was about to send, closed out the app, locked my phone and laid in bed. I laid down and imagined myself in front of that fire place. I just started talking, and she was listening to every word I had to say i finally fucking got up and walked away.

I stopped

[raging-strikes]

Fearless

[[Inspired by @castingdebauchery ‘s nightmare post and I need to write Mihn more so... ]]

One step forth and another. The path was small, only but a branch not meant to carry much weight and bellow - a chasm with bottom hidden under the morning mist. One would spread arms, dread a misstep would cause a fall but not Mihn. Walking ahead as if this was a path in a forest, looking down, wondering what might be hidden in the bottom.

‘You are always so brave.’ Lisette’s words echoed in his mind. ‘You never hesitate.’ He paused. His grey eyes stared at the unknown below. Why was he not afraid of it. It would only take one misstep. His chocobo was waiting behind at home, he won’t be able to catch him. No one knew where he had went.

He turned to the side, toes to the edge. The sounds of the forest, the world was most welcoming and warm, and this unknown bellow? Why it rang no alarm to him. Not a single note of fear or dread. 

‘Why am I not afraid?’ Mihn’s mind finally posed the question.  He felt anger nestling in his mind. This was wrong. This was not normal. And with every realization he felt a smothering embrace. ‘Hear, feel, think...’

One step was all it took. One step he felt the hardest to take and his little body leaped into the chasm. Air going through his cape, his hair, his hat parted behind, why was he not afraid?  And then he woke up. Shifting, standing up. He was in his cottage again, resting at the bench in the yard. His heart wasn’t racing, his hands weren’t shaking. The dream felt almost pleasant.  But then every piece of sense in his mind screamed at once. 'This...is not right.’

[stereksloverchild]

My arm screams in agony. My palm litters with blisters and cuts. There’s blood running down my arm like tears from the gash that never healed. What once was a rope is now merely a thread. So tell me, how do you suppose I keep holding on?

Don’t you know? I’m slipping. ( via stereksloverchild )