#juuliposting

[juul-i]

[juul-i]

finally got access to a sewing machine and can finally low-rise all my jeans <333

[juul-i]

its terrifying how perfect i am ♡

[juul-i]

live like the fucking star u r bitch

[juul-i]

putting together an outfit for tmr and it is turning out gorgeous however going to the rr in it feels like paying for all my sins

[juul-i]

thinking abt getting a sidekick. finding some for like $90 on ebay..

should i be more responsible with my money or spend it on this? ugh i never know, both make me happy.

[juul-i]

i feel so un-human. my veins feel mixed with cold electric wires that zap my organic flesh. my skin oh i wish it was porcelain. my eyes boggle in my head while my human makeup paint melts off in the heat which cooks me alive, leaving a smelly trail of death to which i try to mask with my vanilla glitter perfume. my brain peaks out of my extentions as i lean over to pick up my finger nail that slipped out of its socket. its hard being a rotting angel. my wings ruffled and almost bare from feathers. still i strut into the world with my falling apart heels, but i can never let them go theyre the perfect shade of glittery pink with a beautiful sound as i walk.

beauty is truly pain.

i hope to find beauty in my rotting body.

[juul-i]

boyfriend left to the airport last night. i miss him so much. he spent the week at my house but it feels like it was only for 2 days. we did alot but it feels like theres so much we hadnt done. it feels like im grieving him almost but hes not gone for good, he jus lives on the opposite end of the country. weve always talked everyday but thats not nearly the same as being in the same room as him. he is the kindest soul ive ever met. i miss his smile and his giggles and the twinkle in his eyes when he would look at me with so much love. hes the other half of me and having to quickly say bye at the airport was the hardest thing ive ever done. we kissed and i could tell he wanted a second one but i didnt go for it bc it seemed like everyone around us was rushing to get in and out of there. i shouldve taken that second kiss. i miss him so much. i miss waking up to him every morning and falling asleep with him every night. i miss hearing him talk abt his fav things and how they make him feel. i miss simply being next to him. its so hard to not cry alot. seems thats all ive been doing since my aunt asked when he leaves. i didnt attend classes when he was here so ive got alot of work to catch up on but it feels like the depression of all of this may take over but i will try my best despite that. most of me has accepted i may not pass this class. it doesnt bother me so much but i NEED this class. i hate having big emotions sometimes, this like this make it tiring yet i still push through some how. i jus gotta keep my head up and eyes forward. i will not accept the life that i do not deserve.