#juyo thoughts

[akecsu]

sources: Jenny Holzer said… // Getting Revenge on Baconwaffles // Can I Escape an Impossible Prison? // The Fastest Way to Oxidize Copper // sooooo // Saying Goodbye.. // final  

[akecsu]

hi spacewaffles edit 😱😱😱 of this stream here

this is from august of last year and idk why i never posted it so . here u go

“didn’t you love him in season 4” is a reference to a chat message bacon decided to read out for some unknown reason (here @ 1:35:00) + my accompanying liveblogging of the moments that follow because it encapsulates pretty well how i feel about this

[akecsu]

rewatching bacon's lifesteal s6 day 1 stream and i love how planet and bacon conflict in the way that they're not equally as invested into the Minecraft Roleplay? or at least the consideration of their past.

like clearly they're fine. they're friends again. but there's still weird tension between them.

planet is constantly bringing up the past. bacon i'm a changed person now. bacon do you think i'll actually betray you? bacon i really missed playing lifesteal with you. bacon do we still have beef from last season? i'm done with being the best. it's fun caring about builds instead of hearts. planet is obviously trying to open up "lore" dialogue with bacon and HE IS NOT TAKING IT.

this is why mcrp is so cool. the meta conflict of "how real are you going to make our past? will you think about it? will you engage in meaningful discussion about it?" and it being entirely okay to be on either end, yes or no, of those questions. because its just minecraft roleplay. it can be just having fun on a server. it can also be improv. its up to you.

most of the time, i discuss spacewaffles purely as their characters. but this vod blurs the lines.

i could look at this vod purely through a c! lens. it's simple. c!bacon is hurt by planet's past actions and doesn't want to talk about it. c!planet feels guilty for it, so they want to talk about it. maybe to hear a "i forgive you" from bacon. something to lessen the guilt, something that'll show them that Everything Is Okay and The Past is in the past.

or i could look at the ccs. this gives bacon and planet traits that are not Normally character traits: their level of investment into the Lore, their story. so, this means the characters have control over their own stories? so it's not really a character written by an author anymore, it's never really been. so what even is a character in mcrp anymore. the divide between character and self is barely there. these characters are self-aware, in a way.

cc!planet's always been more invested in the Lore, mostly because of the style of their content, i think. s4 post-wormhole, planet insists he has to be at 3 hearts for when they go back to visit the first 3ht base. insists that 3ht has to be back at their first base "for the video". (said video was never posted im still mad about that. a planet wormhole video would've changed lives!)

back to this vod, cc!bacon is clearly less invested than cc!planet. is that an intentional character choice (smth intended to affect how the audience reads their characters) or is it just... who he is as a person? he simply doesn't make the same style of content as planet. it can be both. it is both. it makes sense that these cc! traits tie into their c! traits so well because the cc forms their character. the cc is their character.

returning to the question: "will you engage in meaningful discussion about [our past]?" there's a desperate attempt at connection from planet. bacon can shut them down and have it be okay and have it mean nothing. i think that just makes them all the more tragic. separated not only by barriers within their c! story (lots of hatred and bitterness and contempt and avoiding confrontation of a rough past) but separated by the barriers of their genre? their medium?-- where it's acceptable for bacon to brush it off. because it's not that deep. mcrp is never that deep. or it can be. its up to you

[akecsu]

found some old s6 revenants thoughts in my notes. we r running it back today. so does anyone even think about the time bacon left hannah but you can see in the chatlogs from hannah's pov that he says “you should go live”. he wants her to have a good story (given what happened prior to this and all)

(side tangent unrelated to the thesis of this post: the terrible thing is how he goes into it with this mindset of self-sacrifice like "if i go i might as well make it worth your while right" when that's the last thing hannah wants. she doesn't want him to feed himself to the wardens. she just wants her teammate back. but it's like he's halfway swallowed down by the wardens already before telling hannah all of this. the book is cruel. it's so so so cruel. like saying "don't try saving me" but what else are you supposed to do when you're watching your teammate slip away but try to save them)

im mainly thinking about the double meaning of the phrase "you should go live" which is definitely not intentional considering the context (they are Live streamers after all) but... you should go LIVE. as in live a life. bacon wants hannah to Live. Without him. he left an entire life behind for her (a base, gear, a team)

so now im thinking about going live as an act of living, showing the world that you exist. because if the viewers don't see it, how much of a story is it actually? what would've been written down and recorded on video instead remains up in the air. and then we have going live as an act of vulnerability. choosing to NOT go live as an act of virtual self-isolation. i don't want this part of my story to be seen.

there's a space in time between hannah finding out about it all and bacon going live. where we'll never know how bacon felt in the moment, only "oh. its really sad" as he thinks back on it later. we'll never know how he felt sitting there sending the message "you should go live" knowing hannah would open that chest up in just a couple minutes. we'll never know how he felt when her chat messages came flooding in with urgency.

i just think it's cool how unintentional details like this can make a mcrp narrative so much more compelling. how we're denied the luxury of bacon's pov during the height of his emotions which somehow perfectly reflects his general attitude (closed off and isolated) during the warden arc

[akecsu]

it doesn’t have to end like this (inspired by pocellae on tiktok. go look at their crashouts edit!!!)

sources: Finally chatting with baconnwaffles… / i dropped over a thousand wardens on lifesteal smp spawn / lifesteal day 2 / First Day of Lifesteal Season 6 / hannah helps me repair spawn / First Day on Lifesteal Season 5

[akecsu]

i’ve really really been liking crashout duo recently… some thoughts below on new beginnings, moving on and ofc in relation to spacewaffles 

okay so i’ve always been obsessed with the idea of new bases being symbolic of new beginnings. its a new physical setting. a new landscape. and yeah you will leave a chunk of yourself behind in that old base (thinking about 3ht.. dearly)

the new “focus” base has a special place in my heart because

1. hannah said she’d never built a base before. so this is her first. she’s finally settling down. it feels like a declaration of loyalty. that they are TEAMMATES FOR REAL!! (question: this kinda confuses me because did cfg never have a base? i missed that era of s6. or did hannah mean it in the way where she hasn’t built a base Herself… maybe kab built one lol anyways moving on) 

2. i feel like bacon really needed that change of atmosphere from the spacewaffles base. where there are traces of planet everywhere. a ghost of his presence. the “for bacon!” sign fucks me up i’m not gonna lie. already talked about this before but it was Not a good place for him (the parrot charity stream. YES I WILL KEEP TALKING ABOUT THAT STREAM NO I WILL NOT STOP)

so, bacon teaming with hannah feels new. feels like moving on. because when planet logged on for that one spawn cleanup session things just felt so different like. will they ever be normal teammates again. will it ever go back to the way it was? they are eternally fucked up forever haha… it’s bittersweet. 

slightly unrelated but mapicc also being an extension of their team is also sooo eugh. like losers hiii!! thinking about mapicc logging on ls at 4am because bacon asked him to help him w subz. haha. new beginnings w hannah and the familiarity of mapicc. someone give me a gun 

okay i really do not want to paint planet as some Villainous Guy who is mean and evil to bacon all the time but its more like. shit changes sometimes. its very human. i dont know. the natural drifting. how many relationships in the world exist purely out of proximity? they don’t have the luxury of that anymore. but they still care about each other. 

on the note of proximity. hannah and bacon streamed together for like 8 hours cleaning up spawn!!! wow yay bonding time <33 that used to be spacewaffles not really anymore though. mhm

early s6 bacon was definitely a little crazy for planet (the overprotectiveness, the “you killed planet that counted”, the wemmbu heart situation) which was painful to watch because. Will that ever be reciprocated. tough pill to swallow but probably not. (spacewaffles is dead? spacewaffles is a dead man walking i think. half alive half dead. they came back wrong) bacon who is stuck in the past vs planet that is not and moves on like it never happened. 

that adds to why i like crashout duo so much because!! hannah pulls bacon out of the past!! 

i will miss that overprotective over planet bacon arc but i like this too. i like the tone of acceptance. of moving on. of second chances and those second chances not really working out sometimes (yeah i was hoping that spacewaffles would be more active together this season but I Guess Not…) of new beginnings 

i used to have this characterization of bacon in my head that he would search for pieces of planet in every new teammate of his because no one really mattered as much to him as planet did. again, “you killed planet that counted” (my second time dropping this quote in one post lmao.) and his whole spiel about having no friends on the server. 

but i don’t know if that’s precisely the case here. planet used to be his main main priority but i think if planet logged on right now, i don’t know what would happen. planet would log on to an empty base and a bacon with a goal. and a bacon with direction will stop at nothing to get what he wants. (side thought i think that parrot charity stream was a one-off moment because he just happened to be lacking any goal or purpose on the server at the time. -> bro was in the trenches. seriously punching wood and building houses and shit)

bacon, who is spending hours getting villager trades in a new base. who is shooting down wardens one by one. 

in a way crashout duo is like. an echoing of s4 spacewaffles. if we ignore the part where they hated each other at the beginning of the season but i honestly really liked that. “hannah needs the hearts, *more than me*?” (paraphrasing bacon) it’s a different type of tension between them. they’re fighting for the same hearts in the same way because they can’t really kill anyone else. 

hannah and bacon are equals. yes hannah has 10+ hearts (question #2 i have no idea how she got those hearts) and bacon doesn’t but they’re both perceived as deadweight teammates that just need to “survive” in fights because they both suck at pvp lmao. they are both weak they both have to fight tooth and nail to make themselves a place on lifesteal they can’t afford betrayal like the 20 heart players can. so they stick together. so they do pvp practice together. so bacon playfully crits out hannah while she is tabbed out. (has bacon done that to planet ever in s6. thinking about it because it was always planet pulling those stunts. or maybe i am remembering things the way i want them to be) (sigh. oh the change. oh the parallels)

to conclude this i think they should be given permission to destroy the world together. or save it. who knows 

[akecsu]

the evolution of spacewaffles. to me

bonus textpost because why not

[akecsu]

some messy unorganized musings on the recent spacewaffles duel... hate my stupid spacewaffles life 👎

there is absolutely no reason for planet to be saying all that. "you beautiful boy" "you look so cute" "i love you" "i heart you" "i'll give you my helmet don't be sad" "are you insecure of your skills"

okay this might be a hot take on planet's characterization... they are not entirely a good person. re: season 5. we know how the story went. he is selfish and scheming and knows how to get what they want.

and that can coexist with the fact that they are caring. that they are the nicest guy ever. that everyone loves planetlord! but this duel kinda stung in a weird way.

Imagine You are Baconnwaffles0. your best friend has not logged on for a long time. your best friend logs on and you two fight, an echo of old times. it's supposed to be for fun. so why does it carry a weight that it definitely isn't supposed to?

planet: you thought it'd be easy, bacon, huh? but in reality, it's not.

this... the switchup from "omg i love u so much <333" to this massive hit on bacon's ego. Yes Bacon thought it would be easy because they have a 4 heart difference between them and losing would be a huge aura loss for bacon. easy win right (it was not an easy win)

bacon likes to prove himself. that's just who he is. so when he loses obviously he gets a little sad even though he denies it lmfao.

so why this duel stings: planet can see through bacon so easily. and they fuck with him.

they know how to aim at bacon's biggest insecurities. i don't have the exact quote but planet says something along the lines of "if it mattered that much to you i would've let you win" that is the last thing bacon would want to hear because planet is literally pitying him for sucking at pvp. lol. bacon would want an honest victory. not this.

they know how to show him love that he doesn't really find elsewhere. the constant reassurance after the fight ended. smth along the lines of "you're the only person who could fix spawn!!"

and this duel kinda mixed them together into this STUPID FUCKED UP MESS OF EMOTIONS AND. Ough. i don't know how to feel honestly. i just think there is something deeply wrong with s6 spacewaffles

i don't think. planet does this (hurt bacon) intentionally to be honest. that makes it worse. maybe. silly little duels have always been a thing in their relationship but i think their reassurance comes from a place of "oh i might've gone too far". their relationship has not been the same since s5. and planet approaches this duel with the mindset of hehe funny when things are not hehe funny anymore.

like. planet is everything to bacon yet. yet. YET, its so painful. planet is salt on a wound. planet is rotten flesh on an empty stomach. bacon puts all the work in to revive them to see them for 2 seconds before wemmbu spawnkills them and they log off. bacon values their life more than they value their own. planet slips through his fingers. bacon sees them after ages and the realization strikes him that things are not the same and they never will be again.

bacon tries to hold on. and he will continue to because he's bacon and he's stubborn and prideful to a fault and sharp at the corners and only softens up when planet is around.