#jxm

[mareyshelley]

Absolutely love your John x Millie fic. That is all. Keep it coming.

Thank you so much 🥺🖤 I'd been worrying people didn't really care lol. I'm glad you're enjoying it!

[mareyshelley]

Here to encourage any and all John and Millie content. I can't make it all by myself lololol

Thank you for the encouragement! And the content. I'll take any and all the content I can, and maybe make some myself.

[chivallejo-blog]

Los momentos son hermosos, porque los vivo a tu lado 🥰🥰🥰🥰 #12ycontando💑 #TamoActivos 💖 #JxM 🥰 https://www.instagram.com/p/B1aPeUhnC6I/?igshid=d0ihuqzeiags

[lifedreamerphantasai]

He broke his wings Can no more fly There's a part of the universe A shining star upon the sky He's looking down upon you He wants to say that he is fine Maybe he's there at night And he whispers "Darling, it will be alright."

Aurora - why did you have to go (I changed it a tiny bit, so that it fits my imagination)

not perfect at all... sorry.

[fyeahmimxy]

So... meron akong crush. A long time crush. Actually, kuntento na ko sa pamessage message sa kanya nung una. Happy crush ba. Yung kapag nagreply sya or kahit seen or kahit mapansin nya, okay na. Pero sya kasi yung tipo ng tao na mabait. Ayaw nyang nakakasakit. He knows, actually. Syempre gago, er’time ba naman na he’s feeling down, magmemessage ako ng kung anek anek sakanya. Pero, nitong mga nakaraang araw, nakausap ko sya. Nakakausap. Araw araw, walang mintis. Actually, “jxm”, yeah? Lam nyo na yan.

Pero nito nga, I didn’t expect na i’ll know every little details about him. “Somehow”. I know few but not all of it. Maybe wala pa nga sa 1/4 yon. Sabi nga nila, maging boyfriend mo man yan ng ilang taon, hindi mo pa rin yan kilala. But here’s the thing..

Bigla na lang ako gumising isang araw na tanggap ko na. Na kahit anong gawin ko, he’ll never like me. Kung ano man yung rason, tanggap ko na. Kasi puta sino ba naman ako. Di naman ako maganda. Sobrang cheap ko pa cos tth. So basta nagising na lang ako na wala na. Na ayoko na. Na nakakapagod mabalewala. Na mas masakit kapag ginusto ko pa. Basta, wala na kong maramdaman.

[fyeahmimxy]

Ano bang nangyayari? Bakit naging ganito? Masaya naman tayo. Pero ngayon, unti unti kong nakikitang lumalayo yung loob mo. Alam ko namang simula’t sapul, imposible na. Pero nagbakasakali ako. Na baka, pwede. Na baka kaya. Nitong nakaraang araw, wala na. Wala ng pag asa. Gusto ko magalit. Gusto ko mainis. Kaso alam kong kinabukasan, mali ko pa rin kasi kumapit ako kahit imposibleng kumapit.

“Hindi mo naman ako kailangang hintayin.”

Hindi ko alam kung paano umilag, hindi ko alam kung paanong hindi iiyakan, hindi ko alam kung paanong hindi susukuan. Alam ko, alam ko naman kaya pasensya na. Pasensya na kung inaantay kita pagkatapos mo sa trabaho, kapag oras na ng coffee break mo, kapag lunch break, kapag bago ka pumasok. Pasensya na kung inaantay ko bawat mensahe mo, nag aalala lang naman kung nakauwi ka ba ng maayos. Pero ngayon, nawalan ako nang gana. Nawalan ako ng pag asa. Nawala lahat.

Ayaw kong pag-usapan. Okay na ko sa ganito. Kasi baka pag pinag-usapan natin, mapabilis yung paglaho mo, ayoko. Okay na ko. Ayos lang. Hindi na kita papakialaman, at hindi na kita hihintayin. Pasensya na, kung naging mahalaga ka. Pasensya na pero ayoko pa.

[fyeahmimxy]

He always spent his everyday life to work. Pero di nya pa rin nakakalimutan mag serve which made him more attractive. He’ll wake up at 5, prep, commute, then work for 9am until 6 in the evening; vice versa— out sya ng 6, makakarating ng bahay almost 9 kapag swerte. Katulad ngayon, 10pm na sya nakauwi dahil nahirapan sya sumakay.

I am thankful, really. Na kahit papano, nabibigyan nya ko ng oras lalo’t di naman ako importanteng tao. Imbis na sana nagpapahinga na lang sya, kinakausap nya pa ko until sa antukin sya. Minsan, nakakakonsensya din kasi inaagaw ko yung oras na dapat eh pahinga nya.

Now, binabantay ko sya matulog thru phone. He’s sleeping quietly, sobrang peaceful sa kabilang line. But.. we’re nothing. Hindi kami MU, or what. We’re just comfortable in each others’ company.

Goodnight, bud. Will wake you up at 5.

[fyeahmimxy]

Since then, I talked to God about you. Everytime na gigising ko sa morning, i’m thanking Him kasi nagising pa ko. And thanking Him, because nagising ka pa. I talked to God about how badly I want to know you through my own efforts. I really don’t like to read your blogs, I won’t consider other opinions about you. I will know you in my own way, starting from your favorites down to your weakest point.

I talked to God about how amazing you are as a person. I asked God to guide you in every ways or in every where. I talked to God na kahit hindi man ako ang magpasaya sa’yo for the following days, na if ever you met someone better, na she’s willing to understand your own chaos, na she’s willing to untangle your twisted thoughts, that she’s willing to hug you when you’re feeling down, na she’s kuntento na sa’yo. I’d love to give you up para lang makamit mo yung love na deserve mo. But I won’t stop loving you.

I asked God na kung hindi ako, sana sa mas better. I don’t want to see you cry nor lonely. God has plans, and kinukulit ko sya to give you a brightest plan. Good health, para sa’yo. And goodluck in every step in every day.