It them
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It them
38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?
He's accepting and resigned to it now, having grown up and seen the fact he's done things that warrant the more negative views of him, but as a child, he'd continuously wish he had an aura like Omi's or Clay's -- that is, he wanted to be someone people didn't mind seemingly at first glance. Even when he dressed normally and tried to fake knowing how to speak with others, the repetitive responses he got were uncanny.
Maybe human-fae hybrids really are innately accursed. Perhaps it's his own fault. Either way, he learned to push others away nastily especially after Wuya ditcheed and then it took retreating from the world for weeks after Tai Sui's test of himself and Omi to decide whether or not to completely kill his own heart. He did in TAT:P1.
Being young again, even with the transient memories and experience haunting him vividly every moment -- even the unwaking ones -- has helped a lot in overcoming certain traits he never liked recognizing in the mirror. The disappearance of Omi the first time around coupled with the other Monks' violent blaming of him for it was the initial catalyst for all his life spiraling out of control.
His precocious knowledge in fields and unsettlingly unchildlike skillset, already remarkable before yet understandable once one learned its limits and the teachers he had, suddenly became inexplicable talents like a completely different person stepped into his body. Still, there were things he didn't and still doesn't know.
Good with his hands and making the images in his brain come to fruition as he is, he can't make creative artwork that isn't blueprints or conceptual. He wishes he could, to let out the way people appear in his mind's eye -- the "light behind Chase's face" that is an intensely obsessive metaphor for how appealing the man is to him regardless of how dismissive he treats him.
He knows it's not smart. He knows it's detrimental to his own life in the end. But every angle he analyzes it, it comes back to wanting to be a part of his life and being near that light. No matter how pissed or undermining he gets at Young at times.
Or, he wants to draw Wuya's ethereally earthen flames, just -- manifest the way she is " underneath her skin" as he thinks of it. The woman always seemed like a burning tempest contained by small smiles and ladylike snark. Honest to God he loves them both.
Height ref thing (I'll make a better one maybe eventually) and temporary dA icons that will probably never be used lol
EDIT: Whoops, giftart for arisutaru BTDubs
Did another painting thing, this time for myself.
My fursona, Jyris
Never done something like this with charcoal (only still lives and work on a larger scale) Still a WIP I'm not sure how I'm going to shade Jyris, I also have a lot of trees to add by the lake still
Princess moment, we all have them. Now imagine a laughing Ginger sitting watching her and its perfect. Literally the only thing I've drawn recently that I actually like lololol
Praise me praise me praise me praise me
I finished it
IDK the shading but w/e
I love my Jy-baby