#life things

[sarroora]

Case in point: I have art references dating all the way back from 2007 that I still haven’t categorized 😭

[animentality]

[paperclips37]

...

I am sitting in an apartment I own.

...

This is surreal.

[wild-penguin]

Life is complete 😭

[beethatwee]

Artistic rendition of me freaking the fuck out in a BP’s parking lot

I looked like a crazy person probably, but I had just gotten off a LONG day of work and just wanted to get home and take a shower for fucks sake

Wanna see what my tire looked like?

In case you were wondering, no, the tire didn’t slip under the rim. It’s not there. There is no tire. It is MISSING

[keisiey]

Anyways my braces are blime colored now

(is this the first time I've posted any art of the two? Idk)

[sastielsfandom]

There Was Actually Two Beds

It wasn’t on purpose. Sam had booked a room with two separate beds. Whether or not Castiel was human or angel, he would’ve. It’s second nature. However, when they walked into the room there was only one bed in the middle of the room, with two dressers encasing it in. That was not Sam’s intention. 

Unfortunately, Castiel was human. So the importance of two beds was more important here. Sam really didn’t want to go to the front office, for one, the place had no vacancies. Had Sam not booked ahead of time, they wouldn't even have a bed. Also, they were quite far from the front office, and it was late. Sam glanced over at Castiel, “I think the front messed up.” 

Castiel didn’t say anything, he set his new duffel bag down and walked over to the bed. “It’s spacious enough,” Castiel decided with a nod. He locked eyes with Sam, “If you find it adequate, I do too.” 

Sam nodded, “I think it’s fine at least for the night. We’ll get squared away in the morning.” Sam said, stepping out of his shoes, dropping his own duffel down next to Castiel’s which admittedly was in the way. But both were exhausted. The bags would just have to remain there for the time being. 

Sam had driven for over fourteen hours, Castiel had driven eight before he started to make mistakes. Unused to the idea of being exerted especially by something like driving. Before they crashed on the road, Sam decided the safest thing for them to do was to get a room for the night. 

The two got in bed, with no grace as they let their bodies fall into place. Probably too close to each other. But neither could bring themselves to care as sleep took a hold of them both. 

·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·

Sam wasn’t proud of himself. In the bathroom, Castiel was showering. Sam knew it would take a while for him to get out, which Sam didn’t mind. But as Sam was looking for his phone he’d fallen asleep with in his pocket, he discovered something. The motel did not make a mistake. They had given Sam and Castiel two beds. The bed was a trundle.

The correct and moral thing to do would be to tell Castiel of his findings. Especially as Sam had opened it all the way and it was more spacious for both of them if one of them took the second bed. However; that night of rest next to Castiel had been the best rest Sam had in a long time. Hence, Sam’s admittance that he was not doing the right thing. But what was so wrong with sharing a bed? 

It’s just a bed. And sleep. No big deal. So really, why tell Castiel? Because then they’d have to figure out who got the other bed. And it would be a whole ordeal. Having to remember that someone is on the other side, they’d probably end up accidentally stepping on each other. It wasn’t worth the headache. 

Besides, apart from Castiel taking off his socks at some random point in the night, and somehow having the coldest feet in existence. And well, discovering Castiel is a blanket monster, leaving Sam with just a small corner of the blanket, it wasn’t a bad arrangement. He wasn’t like Dean who kicked and snored all night right in his ear. Sam didn’t wake up with legs all on him, nudging him further and further off the bed, Castiel was a major upgrade for a bunkmate. 

So, yes. Sam did put the second bed away and kept that fact to himself. He felt incredibly guilty for it, but still not enough to tell Castiel about it. 

·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·

Dean talks a lot, and Castiel with Sam’s assistance has learned overtime, a lot of the things he says are simply not true. And mostly pop references. However; this is one of the times Dean is unfortunately correct. Humans lie. And Castiel is more human than he realized. 

While Sam had left to bring them breakfast, Castiel discovered something about the bed. It has a mechanism to pull out another bed, and it would provide them each with a mattress of their own. Clearly, Castiel should tell Sam about this finding. Especially considering Sam was extending the room out. It’s important for them to both know this information. 

And yet…Castiel can’t bring himself to actually pass this information on to Sam. Humans do lie, Castiel does not want to be president though. He is uncertain how many lies he would have to carry to become so and does not want to find out as this one carries heavy in his chest while he’s alone. 

The moment Sam is in the room, it alleviates. Being close to Sam is something he doesn’t take for granted. What other opportunity would Castiel receive to be able to sleep next to Sam like this? It is a blessing in disguise as humans have put it. 

How was Castiel supposed to put space between them when he slept quite well being pressed against Sam, with Sam’s arm draped over his waist? It wasn’t intentional on Sam’s part, Castiel isn’t deluded into believing it meant anything. But it felt nice. And that's what Castiel enjoyed about it. 

He is all too aware that he should tell Sam. But he won’t. Not unless he has to. At least this lie isn’t as devastating as his last lie to him. 

·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·

Three nights had passed and the two built a routine. Sam would mention Castiel’s icicles for feet. Castiel would inform Sam that he cannot sleep with socks on. And Sam would ask for at least more than a corner of the blanket that night. Castiel learned it was more in jest, teasing Castiel but understanding Castiel’s not doing it on purpose. 

As Castiel sat on the bed and Sam had turned off the other lights, he was expecting the banter once more. Castiel glanced up from drying his hair with a towel and didn’t expect Sam to lean against the wall, arms crossed and ask, “You good?”

Castiel assumed he’d been doing a good job controlling his face. Unaware that Sam noticed his eyes darting around the room with a conversation in his eyes. His lips moved to the side as he chewed on his thoughts. It happened without Castiel realizing it, habits he’s not fond of, “I am fine.” Castiel assured Sam, “I was just considering trying the socks again.” 

Sam nodded and pushed off the wall and reached into a bag near his duffel that was aligned next to a dresser. He pulled out a pair of fuzzy, oversized, soft socks. Sam walked over and handed them to Castiel who looked over them with his head tilted, “What are these?” Castiel asked.

“Socks,” Sam said, “I figured you can try these ones instead of the ones we have. If they work, great for my legs, if not, well you can at least wear them while we chill in the motel room during the day. Either way, you got fun socks to wear.” 

The blue socks with Stitch plastered on the front with a wild grin stared up at Castiel. His eyes widened and narrowed as he tried to figure out what the creature was. Perhaps a miscolored animal of sort. Humans tend to take God’s creations and poorly imitate them. Perhaps this was one of those cases. Castiel peered up at Sam, “What is this creature?”

Sam exhaled out of his nose, a small laugh of his that Castiel’s come to learn. Sam watched Castiel’s eyes narrow while his eyebrows moved in concern as he inspected them further. As if they’d magically reveal their true nature if he squinted hard enough. 

“He’s an alien,” Sam said, “He’s from a kid’s movie. Maybe we can watch it sometime if it comes on or something.” Sam pushed his bangs out of his face and tapped his fingers along himself, “He’s a cool character.”

Castiel nodded, “I trust your judgement,” Castiel said. He slid the left sock onto his foot and flexed his toes in the new soft and warm but not suffocating socks. The ones they wore out were fine during the day. But at night they bothered Castiel greatly. Made it impossible to sleep. These ones were much different, “Thank you Sam, these are very comfortable.”

Sam smiled, “That’s good, it was no problem.” Sam said and sat down on the bed finally. He nodded towards Castiel’s side, “Can you turn the light off on your side?”

“Of course,” Castiel said, and reached over to push the button and plunged his side into darkness. Sam reached next to him and did the same thing, the only light emitted was from the clock on Sam’s side. 

Sam and Castiel laid down, shuffling until they were comfortable. Both snuggled close to each other, and pulled the blankets over themselves, “We have two blankets. I had to catch housekeeping down a few doors but I acquired an extra blanket.” Castiel said. 

Sam smiled to himself, air pushed out of his nose as a small laugh, “I noticed. Thank you, Cas,” Sam said. “But I will warn you, if you somehow end up with both blankets I may have to banish you from the bed.” 

Castiel glanced at Sam who while saying that snuggled closer and smiled, glad Sam couldn’t see his expression in the dark. He knew he was looking too fondly at him, “I would banish myself.” Castiel informed Sam. Letting his head fall onto Sam’s shoulder. Sam didn’t move away or comment on it. 

·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·

Once again as Sam blinked, shaking out the remainder of his sleep out of his eyes. He found his arms wrapped securely around Castiel’s waist. It didn’t matter how he fell asleep, his body seemed adamant on holding Castiel. Sam already knew that if he untangled them Castiel would wake up. It must be the fact that he’s never been held like that. Sam wasn’t going to take that away from him. Especially when Sam likes waking up holding someone. 

Sam got distracted staring at Castiel. There was something about seeing him sleeping, so vulnerable. On one hand, Sam likes these mornings. Seeing Castiel so human, and entrusting Sam. However; he also dislikes them for Castiel. He knows how much Castiel takes pride in being an angel. And being reduced down to a man who has to sleep and eat. Who is so human. He knows it has to bother Castiel, even if he hasn’t voiced it. 

Somehow, he’d help Castiel get his grace back. He wasn’t sure how yet, but he’d find a way. There’s been more impossible things they’ve done. 

·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·

Castiel laid there wondering if Sam knew he was awake. Neither moved, he knew Sam was awake despite keeping his eyes closed. He’d memorized Sam’s breathing patterns long ago. And as even as Sam’s breathing was right now he was clearly awake. But he didn’t move away, and so Castiel didn’t open his eyes yet. 

He understood what humans meant by butterflies in their stomachs. When Sam’s hand would tighten around his waist unintentionally, Castiel’s heartbeat quickened, he felt warm and wanted to be even closer to Sam. Despite the fact that their bodies were pressed against each other. 

Humanity had a lot of downsides, he couldn’t heal others or himself. He couldn’t teleport anywhere. He had to maintain his vessel manually. If Sam was ever in danger, he wouldn’t be able to get to him quick enough and that terrified Castiel. And yet, in these moments. Where it was just them, lying entangled with each other. It was easy. Amazing. Something he’d yearned for without knowing it’s exactly what he wanted. 

For all the downsides, there were ways to adapt. If Castiel had to remain human forever, he could accept that as long as he got to stay in these arms. He could learn how to pick up more weapons. He knows how to wield a sword. If he can do that, he can fire a shotgun. He could learn how to be a hunter like Sam. As long as it leads him here. 

·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·—·

“That everything?” Sam asked Castiel. Both of them had their duffels thrown over their shoulders. They’d hardly used the storage in the room but there’s always the loose sock or two that seemingly evades the sweep through. 

Castiel glanced at the bed and back at Sam with a soft smile, “I believe so.” With that they walked out the door, closing it with a fond heart. 

Sure, there had been two beds. But that was irrelevant. So irrelevant, that their next motel room had one shared bed again. But this time it was on purpose and became their norm. They slept better, it was cheaper. And they weren’t ready to give up this peace they've found in their quiet nights and mornings. Not yet.