#kaat analyses

[j-ellals]

--------- Cute Jelray things !!

Jellal and Gray met through Erza yeaaars prior but never truly clicked until the day when they realized just how similar they were.

No one understands Gray’s survivor guilt like Jellal does. No one.

They become confidents. They open to each other in ways new to both. Jellal speaks of his darkest moments, his relapses, Simon, Millianna, Wally, Sho, Kagura and Erza. Ultear. Gray talks about Ur, Ultear and Silver.

But then, they also start sharing happy memories; Jellal tells Gray about Ultear’s silliest antics during these seven years when Fairy Tail was frozen. Gray tells Jellal about Erza and how she grew up in the guild.

They get closer than expected.

A LOT CLOSER.

It’s maddening and troubling for Jelal to develop feelings for Gray when he’s been head over heels for Erza all his life --- but it’s not something he can stop.

The visits he pays to Fairy Tail aren’t simply for Erza anymore. He catches himself looking for the raven boy --- and eventually, visiting with him in mind.

Jellal goes through two phases. ‘He’s just a friend’ and ‘Shit.’

There’s a tension that starts building up between them, unspoken words neither are brave enough to scream first, longing gazes when they believe the other isn’t looking.

The first time he tastes Gray’s lips, his very core is set ablaze with a fire he knows he might never be able to put out. Ironic, isn’t it?

When Gray strips in the middle of town and an embarassed Jellal takes off his signature Crime Sorcière cloak to wrap it around his shoulders; 

Not that he minds seeing Gray naked, the middle of Magnolia is just not the right place.

He justifies himself by saying that Gray’s most likely bothered by the stares, but everyone knows they bother him the most.

This ass is property of Fernandes. Back off. 

...Although Jellal would rather admit the fiancée lie than that. Being guilt-ridden and extremely selfless, he forbids himself to feel jealous or possessive. Not only are those emotions not something that you take much pride in in the first place, he also doesn’t think he’s allowed such feelings.

Scar kisses are the ultimate displays of affection. Both of them are broken and fragile despite the strong facade they put up --- and the scars that litter their bodies are an ode to difficult battles, won or lost --- against foes, allies or themselves. Yet Gray and Jellal love each other’s broken pieces, and pressing their lips against the imperfections of the other’s skin is a display of the most sacred acceptance.

“I love you despite the hardships, the imperfections, the darkness.”

Jellal’s also a hand kisser. Fingertips, knuckles, palm, back of hand... it’s charming, rlly. Straight out of a fairy tale.

GRAY’S HAIR. Jellal loooooves Gray’s hair; it’s not as beautiful as Erza’s, but the deep shade of ebony is hypnotizing and he enjoys combing his fingers through the soft strands of hair.

When they’re growing older, Jellal makes a cheap joke about his hair finally being the right color and Gray wants to hit him.

Who says he doesn’t, really.

Gray loves Jellal’s freckles. Every time he brushes them of his fingers and compares to stars, the Heavenly Body mage’s heart grows of three sizes.

Jellal makes sure to make his bf understand that, while he enjoys the sight of his bare self, there’s also a certain pleasure to undressing his lover.

Both are passionnate partners. When you forbid yourself to love and lock away your heart, it eventually starts craving affection. You’ve restrained yourself for so long, the heart is hungry. 

They both give and take a lot. Jellal and Gray are harmonious; when one pushes, the other pulls. Their souls have connected through their similarities like Jellal never could with anyone else.

It isn’t rare for Jellal to slip on discarded t-shirts belonging to Gray. The latter doesn’t seem to dislike it at all ! AFGDHFASHKDA

Gray: fuck Jellal: language.

Jellal being a few inches taller allows him to bury his face in Gray’s hair and so it is a constant source of satisfaction.

     Listen,, they’re so soft. I love them w my entire SOUL.

[shcklesofsin-aa]

LET’S  ZOOM  INTO  JELLAL’S  SELF-LOATHING !

                                                   ┈ ☆ ┈

As you’re aware, Jellal Fernandes was brought back in the Oracion Seis arc by Wendy Marvell and was victim of amnesia. He didn’t remember anything but Erza’s name.

The first thing Jellal learned about himself --- after his own name, of course --- was how horrible of a man he used to be; the countless sins he committed are listed to him by none other Erza, his childhood friend; and they’re spat to his face quite harshly.

( in any other scenario where she wouldn’t have been so enraged with him, perhaps Erza would have handled the situation more carefully ).

Jellal was driven to consider himself as a bad man --- as a horrible human being --- extremely shortly after awakening from his coma. In the Nirvana Arc, he felt the need to constantly make up for mistakes and crimes he didn’t remember --- whether it’s by his failed attempt to die along with Nirvana’s destruction ( as he wished to “take Erza’s sadness and rage” with him in the tomb, and allow her to “be free from him” ), by lending a hand to Natsu with Zero or... by paying for his crimes by willingly following the Magic Council and letting himself be arrested without a fight, by wishing to be put behind bars.

If Jellal learned of his crimes and of the sins he today wants to atone for so desesperately not even an HOUR after he woke up...

...if he learned to hate himself so soon, and that, even before learning of HIS LAST NAME...

                ...How can you expect him to have anything but a LOW SELF-ESTEEM and a constant need to atone for his PAST?

[cheschire-kaat-a-blog]

Okay but consider this: slow-burn Jerza

I’m not going to lie, I wanted Jerza so become canon so badly. But it didn’t happen, and a lot of fans are angry about it but me? Not so much. Because yes, it would have fulfilled my shipper heart. But would it be best for them? Perhaps not.

Jellal and Erza were just kids when they met. He was cheerful, positive, no sense of personal space and with a protective streak. She was shy and fragile and he was like her light, a light that allowed her to survive in the dark environment of the Tower of Heaven. But then he changed and broke her heart. Hard. Yes, he wasn’t himself. Yes, Ultear manipulated his young mind and messed in his head.

But… did she know that?

And while he knows the things he did in that Tower weren’t his fault, they still happened. His body, his mind still remember them. He remembers raising his hands, casting that deadly spell and Simon’s body falling to the floor. He remember his actions through his own eyes… and that fucked him up. Eight years of his life were wasted, spent under someone’s control. Eight years that made him a criminal in the eyes of the government.

They both changed drastically. The kids they used to be are buried deep down, and they’re completely new people. But they still love each other, care about the other so, so much. And they can get through this, they absolutely can. But it cannot be done in a heartbeat.

Jellal doesn’t allow himself to be with Erza. Not yet. And it’s okay. I understand him thinking that she deserves better. However, what she really deserves is to be with the one she loves, and eventually I think he'd understand that and try to be the best man he can be. Not only for her sake tho. For his too.

Point is, Jellal is not exactly ready for a relationship, at least not in the 264th chapter. But time has gone past since then, and he could eventually.

Consider the following:

Erza hangs out with Crime Sorcière during the time-skip. Not necessarily join the guild; just pay a visit once in a while. Her family is no more: it’s hard for her. Jellal offers a shoulder to cry on, and she gladly takes it. He helps her as she copes with the loss of her family. She only allows her facade to crack around him and, even then, it’s because he told her that it’d be okay to do so.

She gets to know Meldy and the Oration Seis, but also the person Jellal became during the seven years she spent on Tenrou. Meldy tells her stories about Jellal when he travelled with her and Ultear, and sometimes the Oration Seis join in; embarrassing stories are recurrent, to Jellal’s despair — but hearing Erza laugh makes it a bit better (he tells himself that her laugh makes him happy because he knows she’s going through a hard time, but he knows he’s mostly lying to himself).

She witnesses the leader Jellal has become as she accompanies him and his guild on some dark wizard hunts. She’s always known he’d be a great leader, even in the Tower. It’s one of the things that never changed about him, just like his nonexistent lying skills and his liking for her hair — which she knows is still there as she caught him staring when she wasn’t looking.

They find time to catch up by training, hunting for food or simply talking by the fire, late at night when everyone left to sleep. They tell each other stories about their daily life, what happened recently and Erza finds herself talking about Fairy Tail more than once, as Jellal requests, not only about recent events but also about her life during those eight years he spent building the Tower. He’s really glad that she found such a welcoming, loving family, but still regrets not being able to leave with her.

During that year without Fairy Tail, Erza visits Crime Sorcière often, and each time Jellal welcomes her with a warm smile that gives her butterflies. They catch up, laugh, get to know each other once again. They discover things about each other like Jellal’s more-or-less-hidden liking for cloaks and Erza’s love of reading (erotic novels, but Jellal doesn’t know that). She brings him strawberry cake so he can taste — if it hadn’t been for the council, she’d have dragged him to the closest bakery — and he teaches her Grand Chariot when she asks him ( the movie, guys ).

They simply end up falling harder for each other.

After Jellal is freed, a relationship with Erza doesn’t seem as impossible as it used to be. It’s a really slow but steady process for them. Jellal allows himself to love her little by little. They both know of the other’s feelings — after all, they were never hidden in the first place. It’s simply a question of allowing those feelings to bloom.

They test the waters with affectionate gestures, one at a time.

The first time Jellal makes a move to hold her hand, Erza takes it without hesitating. Her cheeks are red and so are his; he tries to disguise it as a friendly gesture but it doesn’t fool anyone. Erik has a lot of fun telling his guildmates about Jellal’s Erza-related thoughts.

The first time she lays her head on his shoulder, he stiffens. She immediately removes it and blushes, tries to do as if nothing happened. But then he tells her in a raspy voice that it’s okay, and she blinks before awkwardly laying it on his shoulder again.

The first time he kisses her, it’s on her hand. He had just finished wrapping it up in bandages after she hurt herself, and he simply kissed the top. He didn’t realized what he had done until he saw her red cheeks and her badly hidden smile.

The first time she hugs him, it’s after they first see each other in a very long time. The mission wasn’t supposed to take this long and she was worried. She wraps her arms around his neck and he’s surprised but he hugs her back. The moment is interrupted by cough from his guildmates, who were just behind them.

The first time she kisses his cheek, it’s after he brought her flowers. There was an occasion, and he was awkwardly scratching his head and justifying himself, but she cut him off by pecking his cheek.

The first time their lips meet, it’s after he finally, finally asked her why she kept the last name of Scarlet. She freezes and stutters an answer that never got completed as he leans in, overwhelmed. After they break apart, it’s so silent you could hear a pin drop. He opens his mouth to say something but she grabs his collar and pulls him closer. And they kiss again and again until their lips are swollen — and Jellal hasn’t been this happy in a long time.

[shcklesofsin-aa]

BTW, J.ellal? Regarding this post? He had no bad intention whatsoever regarding that fight. I’d say he attacked either because he believed that there would be no way out of this w/o using violence... or else he would have landed the first blow. He is NOT a violent person. 

I’m a firm believer that the whole reason fighting the OS was CONSIDERED was bc of their alliance w T.artaros and G.rimoire Heart before they were arrested. They are an unpredictable bunch and he wasn’t sure whether or not they’d ally forces with the current ennemy --- which was NOT an option they could allow to happen.

NONETHELESS, the whole fight is horrible. I hate hate HATE how J.ellal was written and how it portrayed him as the insensitive jerk he is not, I hate how this would build the relationship of CS on the OS feeling FORCED to join. I hate how M.ashima handled this, I hate how the Seis seemed so weak when they’re nOT. I hate how M.eredy was just left out and added for the drama. I hate I hate I ha t e.

I have more to say on this but I need to go to sleep.

[shcklesofsin-aa]

@meganeviolet a réagi à votre discussion : J.ellal: *creates C.rime S.orcière along w U.ltear...

He never really met Zeref tho.

     At this point, I don’t think that matters:

      While HE, as a person, never has met Zeref, it is needed to remember that everything he was subjected to as a child was in Zeref’s name: his hometown was destroyed much like Erza’s was, he was enslaved along with thousands of children (and adults) to build the R-System that would allow the cult to bring Zeref back to life, he was told and retold multiple times that everything was in the name of Zeref, their god. And then, super important, Ultear comes in and casts a spell on him, putting him under her control --- and he spends eight years of his life as the new leader of the Tower whose only goal is to resurrect Zeref, a cause he would never have believed in IF THIS HADN’T HAPPENED and a goal he NEVER had wished to pursue. He hurt the ones he loved, tried to sacrifice his childhood sweetheart, killed many INCLUDING his childhood friend and... Zeref wasn’t even fucking dead?? It was all so Grimoire Heart could get a key??!!

Now Ultear is very much a victim in this too, I’ll defend this to my grave. She’s guiltier than Jellal from a technical point of view ( you could compare him to an imperius curse victim or... idk a good comparison for irl ) but she also is a victim! IMPORTANT!!

     It’s EXTREMELY important to put emphasis on the “all evil brought about by DARK GUILDS and Zeref” part because they KNOW that Zeref isn’t technically responsible for the choices of his followers. They want to stop dark guilds too. THEY hurt people too.

ALSO. IMPORTANT.

                    Jellal hasn’t met Zeref, but Ultear has.

     Not only that, but she’s also seen his power. She’s seen how powerful he can be. 

     If defeating Zeref is amongst their goals, it’s most likely because Ultear knows/thinks that he wasn’t on Tenrou when the island vanished. That, or they LATER learn that he’s alive and their goal shifts from “protecting from the remnants of Zeref (aka demons, dark guilds, idk” to actually defeating him.

     I hope this makes sense. AND THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME AN OPPORTUNITY TO ANALYSE THIS.

btw:      I don’t think he’s really mad not to have defeated Zeref himself tbh. Jellal looked for justice, not vengeance. He’s probably just disappointed, but in the end... Zeref is defeated and won’t harm anyone again and THAT’s what’s important.

Me, on the other hand? I’m boiling with salt dhsfdghaf