📍Horny Gulag, Undisclosed Black Site near the Mariana Trench
AG Jaeger: Well, well…
AG Jaeger: Little Minx. My! The gulag suits you. Such a pretty dirty doll, chained and buckled to a chair. You were always your best when you were in chains. So feral with lust that as much a danger to herself as well as others. Especially furniture. I’ve seen the bill - how many pillows have you ruined from rutting?
No matter… I’ve come down here especially to offer you something, I think you’d like.
AG Jaeger: How does house arrest sound? Hmm… Princess? A deal as sweet as Biscoff. £3.7 million detached property overlooking the river, in DA Kento Nanami’s District. You’d like that wouldn’t you? Smart girl like you. Wouldn’t you like to lounge away in Mugler and Galliano like you used to and write in the sunset with your darling, bubba? I’m sure it’s better than scribbling on toilet paper whilst in solitary confinement. The grey and concrete can’t be good for the text nor the brain now could it?
AG Jaeger: I’m willing to give you partial diplomatic immunity. All you have to do is give me some names and some locations. The more you supply, the strong your immunity. What do you think, kitten?
More than good paper and premium ink, more than the priciest estate you can buy, I'd rather have you for a reward, AG Jaeger Beast, sir. Your wee princess wouldn't know what to do with a riverside property if there isn't you in it. Besides that, DA Nanami has a severe reputation, and with him around, @tonaken Terror is sure to be keeping watch. If she's watching, your esteemed colleague is sure to have an eye out for me, too. And that's no fun unless you're [redacted] me against the glass walls of our home and letting me tumble you onto your goosedown to have my fill of Biscoff cream off your [redacted].
The Kabal is set to take over the world of horn, anyway. It's only a matter of a short while. So keep the Gulag's Coco and Kiki de Montparnasse supply coming steady. Your little bengal kitten will show you a treat in chains on your every visit.
FRFR I SAT ON THIS WAY TOO LONG BEC I COULDN'T STOP INTERNALLY SCREAMING AND CREAMING. sis how could you be so cruel as to hit me like this??? you know i'm WEAK RABID for an imposing man in a suit or the pieces thereof flexing his power and putting me in my place. how could you do me like this??? sending AG Jaeger to me on a silver platter like this???
i spent way too long re-reading this and giggling and kicking my feet like his silly little fangirl 😭😭😭
Erwin hummed in what seemed like acknowledgment and headed towards the door before stopping abruptly, turning back at them and standing to attention. Sharp, posture rigid and unshakable.
It was clear that in an old life that the blond was once a commanding general. Someone revered, feared, worshiped almost.
It was subtle, the way his head raised up and his gaze at the pair fell beneath his nose. It was as if they disgusted him, the way he mouth pressed into a hard frown. His stare was icy and the pair felt a chill run down their spine. Their smiles melted and trepidation plagued their stomachs.
Erwin’s silence only lasted a minute, maybe less. But it felt like ten. The brown noise of the electrics and the flickering buzz of the overloaded sockets heightened the sense of untold darkness and hidden horrors that exuded from him. Erwin was terrifying like this and yet, eerily attractive. The unknown, the untold, a walking bottomless abyss.
Erwin inhaled sharply and quickly before speaking.
“Before I go, It would be ungentlemanly to leave you without a gift. It should be arriving in a few seconds.”
Suddenly, one by one, monitor by monitor the power cut out. The sound of entire mainframes and appliances shutting down. Extraction fans cutting out abruptly. Loud crackling from the plugs and all the bulbs in the vicinity exploding, entire space plunged into darkness. Erwin pulled out a small but powerful camping lamp from his coat pocket and placed it delicately on the table besides him, switching it on.
“Your wit and cheek reminds me of my Clare. Not quite enough bite though and certainly not nearly enough guts. But I do like someone who isn’t afraid of me and something tells me that deep down you both might be. That’s good. Fear is good. It keeps you sharp. Sympathetic pathway shocked into action. All those hormones flooding your system. Scrambling to protect you. I wondered what would happen when it was triggered and just as I expected, you didn’t flee, you certainly didn’t fight, you both froze. Like some deer in headlights.”
Erwin continued
“Antisthenes words stick with me always, ‘Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes.’ No truer words have been spoken.”
Erwin stuffed his hand into his other pocket and pulled out a wad of unmarked cash which was sealed in a vacuum plastic. He tossed it to the pairs feet to which Slav scrambled to pick it up.
“That should be enough to revamp this space, get some new equipment since all of it is probably destroyed by this little gem my good friend Armin made for me.”
Koula’s heart sank as Erwin placed the small but weighty black box into Koula’s hand
“Any idea what it is Miss Kyriaki?”
“Yes.” Koula sounded dejected.
“Of course you do. What is it Miss Kyriaki?”
“A compact EMP.”
“And what do EMPs do, Slav?”
“They scramble and destroy electronic devices within the intended vicinity.”
“Exactly. Well done.” His voice was a little condescending but his eyes and smile were genuine. The conflicting personas confused the hacking pair . “Incredible piece of technology. Absolutely marvellous. A stronger charge would’ve set this place a light. Terribly piece of equipment.” Erwin clicked his tongue and smiled softly.
The artificial light making his features more pronounced. A face hardened by life but every inch was infact, ‘handsome’. It was the only word that Koula had on her tongue.
Erwin continued. “Knowing you both, you’d have backups of backups of backups. So I know this is only a slight inconvenience for you. I just wanted to show you two that I am willing to do absolutely anything to protect my family.” Erwin drawled sincerely as he put his leather gloves on. “Politics and allegiances be damned. That’s what I want. It’s all I want, and I’m willing to eliminate anything that will get in my way.”
Erwin drew closer and with his left hand tucked a loose hair behind Slav’s ear and ran his thumb across their lip. He watched as they become flustered. Closing their eyes and relaxing instantly, Slav leaned ever so slightly into Erwin’s gloved palm that rested on their cheek. Koula was so focused on what Slav was going through, envy almost consuming her, that she didn’t realise the blond man pull back her hood and repeat the same actions to her.
“To think that some of the people who are the bane my Clare’s life are as beautiful as this. What a terrible waste?” Erwin said as he delicately dragged his finger across her jaw, her cheek, her nose. Koula daren’t close her eyes, though her hardened glare softened.
She couldn’t help but bite her lips, swallowing, hard, to lubricate her drying throat. She cursed herself as her stomach flipped, the feel of leather against her skin and his touch, intentional but gentle.
“Curious things.” Erwin said softly before sighing and stepping back. Contemplative look on his face before scoffing and shaking his head.
“I’ll be in touch.”
And with that Erwin left but the thick cloud of desire he left, lingered like nuclear cloud, rending the pair speechless.
HOLY SHIT BROOO YOU WRITE SO GOOD mdwjegijdfrekj actually u write better than me AHAHAHAHA the "unknown, the untold, a bottomless abyss" had me like:
so good bro 👏👏👏
I'm thinking imma make Koula a lil more stubborn, cuz I really am stubborn af irl AHAHAHA
tagging: @slavanimesimp @nathalunalune @dassmyname @shrekisshrimpthesimp @soaringmirror @nighttimescribble @ushiwhacka @tonaken
Koula didn't know whether she was aroused or enraged. The very thought of it made her even angrier.
She kicked the floor powerfully before grabbing a keyboard from the table and slamming it against a monitor with enough power to knock it on the floor and crack the screen.
"Not enough guts?!?! I'LL SHOW YOU GUTS!"
Slav cringed as she watched her partner ruin a few more monitors and keyboards and punching the walls. That wasn't the first time Koula had lost her temper. Koula pulled a lever, turning on a generator that began to produce power again.
"We need to turn on auxillary," Koula pulled a suitcase from beneath their desk, settling it on top and opening it, revealing a laptop inside. She connected it to the generator and it powered up. She started typing. "I'm going to set his smart car on fire. Have it explode to his face while he's driving."
Slav's eyes widened and she rushed in front of her. "Wait! K! Think this through," Slav slammed her hands on the desk, trying to draw her attention but it didn't really work. "He is a man with a wife and child. We can't kill him!"
"I'm simply ridding that poor family of a monster,"
"Think about it!" Slav insisted. "How's Clare ever going to find out about what he is if he's dead? Killing him would be doing him a favour. You'll only make him a martyr in her eyes. In everyone's eyes!"
"I get it," Koula stopped typing for a moment. "He doesn't understand. He doesn't know what poverty feels like. He cannot appreciate what he has so he's seeking for more."
Koula's hands clenched into fists.
"Power, power, power, everybody's so obsessed with power, money, material wealth, followers, it's making me sick. What happens when you get that power? What happens when you're worshipped and everything you want is handed to you on a silver platter? What's the point of life if there's no struggle to achieve? He is an empty man, just like all of them."
"That he is." Slav nodded. "But you have to hand that to him. He will do everything to protect his family."
Koula frowned. "Bullshit. If that was the case he wouldn't seek for more than what he has," Koula looked up at her partner. "Burn the money," she stopped typing. "I will not be bought and sold. Burn them. We'll rob a digital bank instead. We've done that before. If you wanna keep them for yourself then fine."
Slav smirked. "Hot or not, I will not be bought and sold by him either." She tossed the money in a can and she lit a match, tossing it in the can as well. The money started to burn but neither of them paid any attention.
Koula started typing again and Slav's eyes widened. If the Kabal killed Erwin now, that would mean war. That could have even been Erwin's own wicked plan. To become a martyr in the eyes of his dear wife and then she would have a renewed sense of duty and motivation to keep hunting down the Kabalians. Killing him right now would be the end of it all.
Slav grabbed her hands stopping her from typing anything further. "If you kill him now, you're no better than him."
Koula's eyes widened and she stopped. She was right. She would become just like him. She would fall right into his trap. Koula pulled her hands away from the keyboard.
i have SO MUCH kabal lore to catch up on! Feeling on and off ill these days so i'll be a bit late to the party but best believe i am not slacking off on my duties. My cell be looking like
And i have just received a most important visitor, my fellow Kabalians. He appeared in much daddeh, doin the magick el puyhy leako. The Kabals will huddle soon. Victory is at hand. The truth is coming to light.
Visit me again daddeh. I need kithes where the sun dont shine in my secret cell 🥺
📍Horny Gulag, Undisclosed Black Site near the Mariana Trench (continued)
AG Jaeger: *GUFFAWS HEARTILY* Do not mince your words with me, kitten. Are you saying all it takes to get you to agree, is my presence?
AG Jaeger: *Sighs and gets up* Very Well. It costs me nothing and if that’s all it takes for you to comply then, so be it.
AG Jaeger: You never were a greedy girl. You just had a greedy [redacted]. A very, very greedy [redacted]. Always so terribly conflicting.
Most girls ask for more things but not my Scribbles. No. She’s a simple girl at heart, who, for the right price, is willing to do away with the child’s play just for a slice of nostalgia and endless days of being deliriously satisfied and pleasantly sore.
AG Jaeger: I’ll have a contract of terms and conditions drawn in 48hrs. You’ll have 1 week to read it. I’ll be in Guam and will return, expecting a definitive decision.
When you agree… and you will agree… I’ll personally begin to process you out of this… hell… our darling, Clare has so graciously confined you to. She can be quite harsh but since you’ll be under my protection, there wouldn’t be much she could do.
AG Jaeger: I warn you though, kitten. You’ll belong to me once we’re outside. Horny or not. You are mine. Step out of line or betray me and you’ll end up somewhere dark, damp and cold.
You know this better than anyone. Peonies don’t fair well in the cold, do they? It’d be a shame if I’d let my kitten fall to a similar fate. But… I’ve no doubt in my mind about you. You’re an awfully good girl at heart, despite your… “misbehaviour” and I’m sure it won’t be too hard to follow instructions.
Take that as a promise rather than a warning and think on it. Princesses never fare well in locked towers and yet they always look their most prettiest within them.
Agree to the conditions I send and I’ll take care of you. Just like I always used too. You can write to your heart’s content. If you’ll have the strength too.
I must get going now, but I’ll see you next week. Be good and try not to ruin any more bedding. You are upsetting, and petrifying the prison warden. *pats head*
*licks the patting hand and bites his shirt when he tries to walk away.*
Your disconcerted face is a sight for sore eyes, Beast. Shame if something were to happen to it. Or to you. You're having too much fun playing a double agent. i suggest you remember where your true loyalties lie.
The Gulag is the Kabal's playground. In here, you are mine. And out in the world, you will be mine...if you are a good boy. You may think you are second only to Shrekscobar, but you do not have the honour of being the only Kabalian other than he to immortalize our life and our kreed within these grey walls. That puts me closer to his heart. Makes me almost like his daughter. And father `Scobar has promised to give you to me on Shrekky's coronation day. Of course, if you fancy yourself a gallant Don Juan, you are welcome to expedite that promise by [redacted] me right on this chair. You are already partially undressed. It won't take long before we are painting the walls of this interrogation room with your [redacted].
Well, Beast?
*thinks hard in monke tempted to double-cross*
AG Jaeger: I have the release order for you and Defector Dass in my back pocket. My car is waiting to take us to the airfield.
@dassmyname and i arriving at the airfield like
Why hello, police chief Toji. You poor dear, all bloodied and torn up. You've not been helping the mayor with his explosive little toys, have you? Well, no matter. I am glad to see you have turned to the light. Hop in, handsome, and let these freed kittens patch you up.
El Scribs, I hope you liked my work for the Horny Kabal and that it made you trust me. I am one of you now. I like to think of myself as a consigliere. Anyway, I am still getting comfortable in my new role.
I will keep you updated on any progress made. I want to say my work here is done but we all know Judge Clare, she wont rest until the Kabalians disappear from the face of Earth. Well I say, to hell with that! 🤨 LONG LIVE HORNY PROPAGANDA !!!
*ends call and throws the phone in a bin, while walking down a dimly lit street*
*on a tiny scrap of parchment, faintly written with hard pencil 💀*
LONG LIVE HORNY PROPAGANDA! LONG LIVE THE KABAL!
You have done immeasurably good work, Defector Dass, and have earned your promotion to consigliere. I am sure you have been informed that henceforth, you shall report directly to The Beast and The Cummander, working closely with Mr. Geto Suguru's Team Crunchysock.
Our heiress is secured and well-fed with daddehs milk. Her mumma don't know what goes on behind the scenes in her precious little dinner party. 😈
*intentionally left behind on the bench AG Jaeger uses to bend over [redacted]*
