much like all things marvel - and really anything I've come to love - Moon Knight has me in a chokehold I'm perfectly fine with staying in
now, I'll be attempting to write a fluffy, slightly angst leaning, fic with Marc cause god he just needs someone to hug and talk to and I'll be damned if I don't try to be that outlet
So, like, if you wouldn't mind being tagged in my fics when I share them either here or from Ao3 and Wattpad, can you please like/comment/reblog this? It's really hard trying to get your work to spread on tumblr when you're Inconsistant as Fuck™ but still have works you want to be shared.
I'm also contemplating tagging mutuals I hope wouldn't mind, so I guess stay tuned for that.
Hi guys! I have a new writing blog @kaciidubswrites where I’ll be posting my stories now. It’ll be easier for me to keep track of, and it’ll allow my posts to be seen now through searches and tags so please follow and maybe reblog? I’d appreciate it a lot! Also, I’m still going to keep this blog as my main page, I’m just be separating my writing from my blogging.
Here it is, as I promised, the first chapter of Crush! Be advised it is pretty long so bear with me, not every chapter will be as long as this one.
Chapter Title: Observation
Summary: Y/n has known Tom ever since she was in middle school so how exactly was she supposed to handle the flutter in her stomach whenever he came around?
Y/n/n = Your nickname
| Masterlist |
“Remember yourself. Deep inside, you have an observer, a constant neutral witness to your posture, gesture, facial expression, breathing, taste, impressions of light and sound. Don’t leap to interpret. Just be there and observe.” – Jonathan Price, Put That in Writing
It all started in Sophomore year of high school.
The morning bell rang as students filed themselves into the classroom, many of which were chatting with their friends or finding their seats before the lesson began.
Y/n sat near the window, her head bent down as she mindlessly doodled in her open notebook, hoping her classes would fly by so she could go home and have the weekend to herself. It wasn’t that she didn’t like having Mr. Hanson as her calculus teacher, she just didn’t like math in general, but having it with Mr. Hanson made it tolerable.
“Whatcha drawing?”
The sudden cheery voice in her ear caused Y/n to jump, whipping her head around to see her best friend, Kelsi, leaning over her shoulder with a million-dollar smile etched onto her face.
“Jesus, Kelsi! If I have a heart attack I’d rather it be from something deep fried and delicious, not from my best friend!” She gave an exasperated laugh, brushing away the strands of hair that fell in front of her line of view.
“Well, it sucks that you decided to choose me as your ideal human for the rest of your life, now doesn’t it?” Kelsi smiled daringly before quickly snatching the notebook off of Y/n’s desk, ignoring the hushed yelled of protest from the girl on her left.
“Kelsi, what the actual-!”
“Oooh, I see someone has been drawing some headshots of a certain Holland boy in our class,” Kelsi spoke in a sing-song voice, her hazel eyes scanning quickly over the three scattered drawings strewn across the otherwise math filled paper.
Y/n huffed out a puff of air, getting out of her chair to snatch the notebook back, “Oh, I am so throwing away your half-finished tub of Mint Chocolate Chip when I get home unless you give me my notebook, you swiper!”
In almost an instant Kelsi froze, her eyes snapping to Y/n’s e/c ones, “You wouldn’t dare.”
Y/n glared back, her stare as hard as steel, “I would, McDarren, now give it!”
There was a moment of silence between the two before Kelsi sighed and reluctantly gave the notebook back to her friend. “You know, you should just tell him you like him! You’ve known him since middle school, you know.”
“Ha, and what, be forced to live with the fact that he doesn’t feel the same way? Nice try, but I’d rather lay low; I mean, it’s only high school, I’d rather stick with our friendship.”
She shifted her gaze to her notebook, carefully smoothing out the page before a pair of familiar voices caught her attention.
“I almost had it down too, you should have seen me, mate!”
Tom and Harrison walked through the door, both laughing cheerfully as they headed for their seats which were, ironically, in front of Kelsi and Y/n, respectively. Though they were walking relatively normal, for Y/n it felt as if time slowed as she stared at Tom; his brown hair styled into his normal fluffy curls and the same gorgeous smile reaching his eyes, showing that it was truly genuine.
She would have continued to stare if it weren’t for something small and hard hitting the side of her face, causing her to flinch and instantly lock eyes with Kelsi, who had an innocent smile on her face.
Y/n gave her an ‘I know you did that’ glare, making a mental note to send her a picture of her beloved ice cream hovering over the trash once she got home.
“Hey Y/n, Kelsi,” Harrison called as he and Tom reached their seats, Tom nodding along as a greeting.
“Hi Harrison,” Y/n smiled before feeling her face heat up in anticipation, “H-Hi Tom.” She instantly cursed herself as soon as she stuttered, already feeling as if her entire world was collapsing in on her.
“Hello boys! Ready for today’s quiz?” Kelsi quickly shifted the attention to her, shooting Y/n a knowing look before engaging in conversation with the two boys.
As they talked Y/n snuck a few glances at Tom, her heart catching each time she would lock eyes or see him smile or his eyes sparkle with the beauty of the stars. She longed to go back to the years when looking at him didn’t cause her heart to do flips and her mind to buzz with whether she looked presentable or not. It was only high school, she reminded herself. There’s no reason to get caught up in a high school crush.
Once Junior year hit it seemed like everyone hit a shift; puberty was at it’s prime for almost everyone, people started thinking of their futures and what they wanted to be, school spirit was at an all time high, and the idea of relationships becoming a serious deal started to become apparent.
“And that’s how I ended up crying in the ice cream isle of the grocery store,” Y/n spoke, a knowing smile on her face as Kelsi laughed, hugging her sides in pain as she doubled over.
“Y-You did?! Oh, I feel so bad! Sucks that Harrison is still on that family vacation of his, I’m sure it would have been priceless to have the both of them freaking out.” She continued to laugh, albeit quieter than before as she leaned against the cobalt blue lockers.
“Yeah, Tom felt so bad too, but I can’t blame him for it, I told him I get emotional on my period which, now that I think about it, should be considered weird to share with one of your male best friends.” She shrugged as she shoved another textbook into the cramped locker, decorated with pictures of he friends and little reminder notes for herself.
“Oh, are you telling the ice cream story?” Tom’s voice came out of nowhere as he walked up behind Y/n, resting his right hand against the strap of his backpack that was slung over his shoulder.
She felt her face warm almost instantly at his voice, a wave of goosebumps flowing over her skin. “Yeah, I was, I couldn’t get enough of describing your face, you were so scared! You were all like ‘Oh, please don’t cry! I-I’m sure they have chocolate fudge brownie somewhere else!’” She mocked his voice by dropping hers as low as she could before Tom pinched her cheek. “Hey!”
“I don’t sound like that, Y/n/n.”
Before Y/n could get a rebuttal in, a group of three girls walked by, giggling loudly before one with blonde hair turned her head towards Tom, “Hey, Tom!” Her tone was so obviously flirty that Y/n and Kelsi cringed, thought Tom was blissfully oblivious.
“Hey.” He gave them a short wave, causing all three girls to giggle once more as they continued to walk away.
“Hey, Tom!” Kelsi mimicked, making Y/n laugh as she shut her locker.
“If they needed to be more obvious they could have just written ‘I’m single’ across their foreheads.” Y/n sighed, looking up to face a dumbfounded Tom.
“What are you guys talking about?”
Y/n and Kelsi stared at him with shocked looks before turning to each other with arched eyebrows, before snickering with knowing sighs.
“What?”
“Tom,” Y/n started, adjusting her bookbag on her back, “Those girls who just walked by? They’re into you.”
“So very, blatantly, into you.” Kelsi finished, hiking her bookbag onto her shoulder.
“No they’re not.” Tom scoffed, running a hand through his hair as he tried to call their bluff.
“Kelsi, care to demonstrate?” Y/n mused, knowing how her friend was at flirting.
“I’d be honored to, I was gonna start heading to class anyways.”
The duo watched as Kelsi casually walked down the hall before stopping in front of two guys talking a few lockers down, obvious jocks by the sports jackets they wore. She twisted her hair and visibly giggled then walked off, flirtatiously waving at the two before disappearing around the corner.
“That’s basically what they did, Tom.” Y/n smirked, pushing herself off of her locker as she and Tom began to walk to their class.
“Okay, well, like you said, it was too obvious! What if they’re just doing it to do it? What would you do if you were to flirt with me?”
She internally froze at his words, her heart beating hard against her ribcage. “I-I mean I wouldn’t, because we’re best friends, but-but if I did, I would…” Her conscience was screaming at this point, all the possible alarms telling her to stop while she’s ahead, to pump the breaks and proceed with caution.
“If I were to flirt with you I’d,” She took a deep breath, “I’d compliment you on your hair, because let’s be honest, the curls are a total chick magnet, then I would constantly look from your eyes then to the floor or somewhere else, because eye contact is weird; just shit like that.” She huffed, trying to compose herself and hoping that answered his question fully.
Tom stayed silent for a moment, processing her words before slowly nodding along, “Okay, I suppose that makes sense.”
She internally sighed, mentally kicking herself for actually pulling that stunt. Don’t get caught up! Her conscience seemed to scream as they continued their way to class, the first bell ringing through the crowded halls.
But alas, she did get caught up, and as Senior year came people grew up, friendships changed, people aged, and feelings advanced into a broader spectrum.
“Kelsi, you promised me we would be going to Prom together! Bestie-Prom takeover, remember?” Y/n groaned, trying to get the attention of her best friend who was currently texting away on her phone.
The year was nearly over and it felt like everything was between a haze of still being high school kids and budding adults who needed to take charge of their lives.
“Yeah but that was before Gordon told me he was going to be back in time for prom! I’m sorry Y/n/n, can’t you just go with Tom or Harrison?”
“No, I can’t Kels! Harrison is going with some cheerleader and Tom is going with Lydia.” As Y/n spoke her name her voice dripped with venom, pure hatred for the rude, popular red head that Tom somehow found himself going to prom with. “Besides, I would ask Aniyah but she’s going to her girlfriend’s prom instead, and Malia isn’t even going, she’s touring colleges.”
“Well, I’m sorry but I can’t change it, Gordon already bought us tickets and picked the seats. I wish I could help you but I have to go meet up with Gordon before next class. I’ll text you later.” Kelsi hastily spoke, gathering her bookbag and tray before rushing off to the trash bin.
Y/n sighed, stabbing absentmindedly at her lunch before pushing it away. “Who needs prom anyways, right? Biggest part of your high school career and all of your friends are taken.” She mumbled, feeling tears well behind her eyes as she resting her head on her arms, wishing the bell would ring so she could go back to class.
“Hey, Haz, do you see something wrong with this scene?” Tom’s voice spoke from behind her, causing her to silently curse herself.
“Yeah, I do! Seems like a certain [height] person of ours isn’t doing too well.” Harrison’s voice seemed closer before Y/n felt a poke on the top of her head, causing her to groan.
“Well, you know what time it is then.”
Without speaking another word, the two boys sat on either side of Y/n before leaning against her, wrapping one arm each around her back.
“Fuck off.” Y/n mumbled, feeling the weight of them shift against her arms.
“Not until you tell us what’s wrong!” Harrison spoke in a sing-song voice near her ear, a smile evident on his face through his voice.
“I don’t need your bullshit, guys.”
“Y/n/n…” Tom scolded, causing her to mentally shrink in on herself, “What’s wrong? We don’t like seeing our girl down so, if we have to fight someone-”
“-Consider it done.” Harrison finished, squeezing her tightly for a second.
“I don’t think it’s possible for you to fight yourselves.” She sighed, lifting her head and resting her chin on her hands, staring off into nothingness.
“It was something we did?” Tom questioned, his eyebrows furrowing together as he studied the side of her face.
“No, at least not on purpose, it’s just,” Y/n sighed, closing her eyes so she could gather her words, “Kelsi found out that Gordon is coming back from his college tour in time for prom so she’s going with him instead of with me like she said, and I get it, he’s her boyfriend and all but she promised me that we would go and I’m just a bit mad because I have no one to go with now! You guys have dates and my other friends are either occupied or not going!”
She took a moment to catch her breath, rubbing her hands across her face before gasping, “A-And don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with going to prom alone or anything but I just wanted that chance of being given a corsage and taking pictures with my closest friends, or even my boyfriend, but as we all know I’m as single as it gets now.”
Harrison and Tom frowned at their friend’s disposition, hugging her tighter as she sighed sadly.
“I’m sorry to hear that Kelsi did that to you, even when she found out Gordon was coming back in time she still should have kept the plans you two had.” Harrison spoke comfortingly, rubbing her back as he tried to think of a way to help.
“Yeah, besides, I’m sure Harrison and I can find a way to help you out, probably make a few calls?” Tom offered, looking over to Harrison with a hopeful gaze.
“For sure, I can always ask Zach, he’s a cool guy, well-mannered and everything!” Harrison beamed, thinking of his friend who was currently in class.
“Guys, please-.”
“How about Jason? He’s kind of a party animal so I guess if you’re looking to have a good time at prom then-.” Tom listed, shifting his gaze to the lunch table where Jason sat.
“No, really, I-.”
“Trent isn’t all that good, but if you’re looking for some real nice prom pictures-.”
“Guys!” Y/n huffed, planting her palms on the table as she sat up, knocking their arms off of her back. “I… It’ll be fine. I’ll just go by myself and see you guys there. It’s not that big of a deal, now, if you’ll excuse me.” As she stood up the lunch bell rang, only giving her more of a purpose to leave the cafeteria and her two best friends.
The day of prom night came faster than Y/n had hoped as she nervously flipped the small ticket in her finely manicured nails; her eyes closed as she was getting her makeup and hair done before putting her dress on.
“Is Kelsi going to come by or will we be going to her house?” Her [parent] asked eagerly, watching as their baby girl was getting ready for the night of her life.
“No, [parent], She- uh, Gordon surprised her and showed up just in time for prom, so they’re going together. I insisted.” Y/n spoke carefully, not wanting to mess up the makeup artist.
“Oh, that’s so kind of you sweetie! Here, let me get your dress so you can put it on once they finish.” Her [parent] quickly rushed out of the room, leaving Y/n with her thoughts and the company of the stylist and makeup artist.
A half hour later, Y/n was helped into her dress by her [parent], holding her [hairstyle] out of the way so her [parent] could zip the dress up in the back.
“Oh, sweetie!” Her [parent] gasped, tears gathering in their eyes as they gazed lovingly at their daughter, “I have to go get the camera! You look so beautiful!”
Y/n smiled bashfully, nodding to her [parent] before turning to look at her self in her mirror. She gasped slightly, admiring the beautifully done makeup and luscious hairstyle that her hair was done up in. Her e/c eyes scanned over the design of her dress, her hands slowly running down the sides of her body before catching a glimpse of her shoes underneath. “Holy shit.”
Her family gathered in the living room, taking photos and some shedding some tears, relishing in the heartfelt moment before the doorbell rang. Y/n’s [parent] walked off to answer the door and a few minutes she returned, her smile ten times bigger than it was before.
“Y/n, honey, there are some people who want to see you.”
Y/n turned, her eyes widening once she saw Tom and Harrison standing side by side behind her mother, Tom in a simple, yet stunning, black suit, while Harrison wore an intricately designed navy blue suit of his own.
“Guys!” She nearly yelled, a laugh escaping her lips as she fanned her face, “You guys are gonna make me cry, oh my god!”
Her family collectively laughed and awed as she walked over to pull both of them in for a group hug.
“You look amazing,” Harrison smiled widely as he squeezed her arm.
“Absolutely stunning,” Tom added, taking a moment to take in her appearance again.
“Yeah, and you two are totally rocking the whole suit look, Harrison you look like you belong in a magazine!”
“I try, I try,” He beamed, showing off his suit before laughing.
“Oh, and before we forget,” Tom moved his hand from behind his back to hold out a beautiful corsage that perfectly matched the color of her dress, “You always have to have the corsage.” He beaconed for her to hold out her arm, sliding the corsage over her hand while cameras flashed.
Y/n felt her face heat up at the attention, her heart hammering within her chest when he finally looked up at her with a smile. “O-Okay, lets get some photos so you guys won’t be late to get your dates!”
Later that night, after photos, arriving to prom, dancing, eating, and more photos, Y/n felt extremely thankful for her two best friends, even forgiving Kelsi after they spoke when the party was over.
Then, graduation came, and in the middle of the summer Kelsi moved out to the states, going to college on a full-ride scholarship and begging Y/n to come along with her, hoping to continue the bond they had. As much as it pained her, Y/n didn’t have much of a choice, not being able to move because of the cost, which caused them to have a falling out.
The way Kelsi saw it, it was a situation of ‘if you aren’t there with me physically then you might as well not be there at all’, and that’s what happened.
After doing a few short films and performances, Tom ended up striking a deal to move out to L.A to pursue his dream of acting with the support of his family and best friend, who promised to take turns travelling out to visit and accompany him to certain events.
Though his family took the news extremely well, the moment he told Y/n was the day she felt her world come tumbling down; the experience of losing one of her best friends to distance then having to give her closest friend away to the same cause eating her up inside.
He promised to spend whatever time he had left before having to leave and though there were moments of deep sadness and anguish over the move, he promised to keep in contact any way he could, vowing that their friendship could surpass any distance put between them.
But, once moving day came and went, Y/n’s heart didn’t agree to the deal as she thought it would, as she cried for three days after Tom left for L.A. Though, time passed she earned herself a job at a café and restaurant near her parent’s house, saving money to eventually get her own apartment while doing online courses for university.
Ding, Ding!
The soft chime of the bell snapped Y/n from her thoughts, sliding a thick packet to her side as she put on a smile to greet the customers who walked to the register.
“Hello! What can I get for you?” She spoke subconsciously, the statement etched into her precognitive set of sentences out of habit of working at the café for so long.
“How about a non-stressed Y/n and a genuine smile, yeah?” Harrison’s cheeky voice filled the atmosphere as he leaned against the counter, his cerulean blue eyes holding a playful glimmer behind them.
Y/n smiled wider, rolling her e/c eyes as she brought the packet back in front of her, “Yeah, sure, and to get that you’ll just have to convince my professor to give me an A on this essay I have yet to finish.” The packet held numerous red ink marks, self-annotated edits and revisions made by herself while she was stuck behind the counter for the day.
“Okay, well, I can’t do that but I can tell you something that will make your day a hundred times better!”
“And I’m judging by the pause you want some sort of bribe for the information, hm?”
“Information isn’t always free, love.”
Rolling her eyes again she placed her palms flat on the polished wood counter, levelling her face to his. “One cupcake.”
“Three.”
“Two.”
“Three.”
“Two and a chocolate chip cookie.” She raised her eyebrow, knowing he wouldn’t back down from that deal, “Final offer.”
Harrison pondered the deal for a moment, stroking his chin and humming is if to fake her out, “Deal.”
He stuck out his hand and Y/n took it graciously, before squeezing it tightly, “Now, spill the info before you get the reward.”
“Ow! Ow! Okay, please!” He pried his slightly aching hand from her semi-death grip, holding it closely to his chest, “Tom’s coming back in a month!”
Her heart stopped once she processed his sentence.
Tom’s coming back in a month.
Tom’s. Coming. Back. In. A. Month.
“Is… Is he really?”
“Yeah, he confirmed it with everyone, after they finish interviews and auditions for other movies he’s being cast in he’ll be coming back home,” Harrison spoke with a smile, raising his eyebrows in a suggestive manner, “And we all know how much you’ve missed him.”
Y/n blushed instantly, muttering a quick ‘Shut up’ before tasking herself to get his reward for the information, which wasn’t an issue since David, the owner, loved her, and for as long as she’s been there he let her do pretty much anything.
“Oh, come on Y/n/n, you really think I haven’t caught on by now? You were showing some serious heart eyes back in high school, and then after he left you wouldn’t leave your room for four days until we had to call him to convince you that it wouldn’t be too bad while he was gone!”
“Harrison, that was four years ago, it’s nothing now, I just missed my best friend.”
Harrison sat up, leaning his hip against the counter, “You don’t have to lie to me, I can tell by the blush on your face you still have feelings,” He cocked his head to the side, attempting to get a better glimpse at her turned down face.
Y/n sighed dejectedly, closing the container for the cupcakes with a soft shake of her head, “It’s nothing, okay? Just leave it alone.”
She turned to place the container on the counter, looking up to meet Harrison’s puppy-dog pout.
“Fine, if you don’t want to talk about it then we won’t, I just have one question.” The h/c haired girl tilted her head, allowing Harrison to continue, “How many cupcakes have you had this morning, because they’re usually always fully stocked and I can tell three are missing!”
Harrison’s laugh warmed Y/n’s heart as she giggled as well, appreciating the change in topic. “Hey, I’ve been here since 8 in the morning, you can’t judge me!”
“Yeah, but cupcakes that early?”
“Harrison, ‘Any cupcake consumed before 9AM is, technically, a muffin.’, Brian P. Cleary,” She spoke happily, laughing as he groaned dramatically at her words.
“Oh, you know I hate it when you go all quote-savvy on me!”
Y/n continued to laugh, though his words continued to swirl in the back of her mind.
I can tell…you still have feelings.
Maybe… But it wasn’t enough for her to risk her friendship over a fleeting emotion.
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