1. i leave society as we know it. i build a shack in the woods and i convince the small village near it that i am a witch that will protect them from evil. in return they bring me bread and wine and send boys to chop my wood in the winter, and old ladies make me blankets. while i sit in my shack, with my dog, and i write and paint. and i explore the forest. i collect my own water and i dry herbs. my friends send me letters because they miss me and i always write back. i forget the importance of money or technology. i am at peace.
the thing is, i dont know anything about building houses or purifying water or caring for dogs or witchcraft or herbalism.
2. i own my own book publisher that specialised in books with lgbt+ characters. not just coming out stories but just characters that go about their adventures and happen to be queer. like me. after long days at the office i come home to my beautiful wife. she has a job she loves and she tells me about her day while i change out of my suit. we prepare dinner together, fooling around in the kitchen, feeding scraps of food to our two cats. one of them is called monet, after my favourite artist. we dont care if the dinner looks presentable, its just her and me. its summer so we take it outside, spread out a picnic blanket under our weeping willow tree. there are mosquitoes buzzing around but we arent bothered. we lay on the blanket for a while, i tell her some stories and she tells me some back. we almost fall asleep under the stars, but we make it inside, brush our teeth side by side and fall asleep in our bed. monet is laying at my feet. hes getting old and i am worried, but he made us so happy for the past few years.
the thing is, i dont know anything about letting myself be happy.
