#kaitstintah

[mindscapeartist]

Ludus Summus, 8

Darth Tanit.... one of the true warriors!

It was now Kai's heart's turn to beat faster. She was not at all surprised by the warm, sincere embrace Darth Verrin extended to the lady. The Zabrak seemed to be very different than all the others Kai came across so far. This one did not hide behind a shield of cold, calculated guile. He wore his sincerity like a badge of honor. It emanated from his every gesture. Kai thought it a clever, unexpected manner for a Sith to behave. It would likely cause even the best of Darth Verrin's peers to remain ever-vigilant in his presence, even if they did not show it.

The two Sith Lords exchanged some words, some of which were inaudible to the Korun. Oddly, the young woman did not feel awkward, having witnessed what could pass for a 'tender' moment among the Sith. If they did not want her to see it, they would have made it so, she thought, rising to her feet as bid. It was appropriate to show deference and respect to her elders by bowing or taking a knee, Kai believed. They had earned their place in the grand scheme of things, and as such, she would continue to do it unless advised not to.

She kept silent through Darth Verrin's introduction of his former apprentice, nodding acknowledgment every now and then. Once he finished, Darth Tanit addressed her personally, driving Kai's thoughts into a vortex of contemplation. In the end, the initiate had to admit that the Sith lady was right; it was one thing to show esteem for someone, and another to have it done in too frequent or ostentatious a manner. The latter would be seen as false all too easily. Achieving a perfect balance between the two would become a new goal for the Korun to master.

Deceit may be a legitimate tool of Sithcraft, but it must be used wisely and certainly not while attempting to generate the positive kind of attention from those that would help your elevation, Kai reminded herself silently.

The initiate's thoughts were interrupted by Darth Tanit's returning cough. The young woman struggled to keep a deadpan expression while eyeing drops of blood freshly appearing on the Sith lady's kerchief. In spite of not knowing this woman, Kai could not help but feel a pang of compassion. It reminded the girl of her meeting with Master Aiden Rohl and her subsequent request to study the art of Restoration in the Force. Even so, Kai thought, Darth Tanit was likely more than adequately versed in the healing arts and would have used them already to help her condition.

Whatever it was, the illness seemed profoundly serious and far too fierce for Sith restoration methods to handle. Waiting until the coughing subsided (as it was really the only thing she could do), Kai listened further as the dark lady embarked on an explanation of using a lightsaber form and the demands it would place on one's psyche and stamina. Every statement of insight was met with a somber nod, and each question weighed in silence for future consideration.

In truth, Kai did not expect Lady Tanit to stick around, save for catching up with her former master and offering her, Kai, several pointers and wise insights to consider. So it surprised the young initiate greatly when Darth Tanit's final words to her were worded as a proposition, hinting at an opportunity to learn directly from the female Sith Lord.  

"Since Darth Verrin praises me so highly, I feel as though it would be a missed opportunity if I did not assist him in teaching you the fundamentals. If he will allow me, I would like to go through the paces with you on what you have learned already."

A moment of silence ensued, as the Korun was clearly taken aback by the offer. Not wanting to come across as all too eager or otherwise too hesitant, she bowed low at the waist (foregoing her usual knee) and smiled. "My Lady, I would be honored to learn from an adept warrior such as you." And with her peripheral glance, Kai sought to catch a flicker of a reaction from Darth Verrin, hoping there was nothing improper in the way she issued her reply.

[mindscapeartist]

Ludus Summus, 7

Darth Tanit returned the gesture, having taken from Verrin's training that a Sith need not sever off their ability to feel emotion other than hatred or anger. True, hate and anger were often the easiest and most potent feelings that the Sith could draw upon in order to bend the Dark Side to their will, but there was certainly some merit in remaining open to the full spectrum.

Tanit put a hand on her former master's arm after she was released and smiled. Her skin had grown more pale than when she first started her training. A sickly luminescent tone that belied her physical state. Power though she had, her body was deteriorating beyond her capabilities. The wounds of a life of unchecked aggression and tactless battle without caution had finally caught up with her. "No rise is complete without the work required to do such a thing." She said, the rasp in her voice sounding quite painful.

Tanit reached out telepathically to her former master, "When my body gives up entirely. For now, the pain gives me focus to pursue the craft I neglected in my warrior training. When the time comes, I will seek the help I need." She projected, emotionless. A moment later she looked down to the woman who remained on her knees, "Rise." she motioned with a hand. "There should be more students that show such proper signs of respect and deference. Remember, though, you are being trained as a Sith. Show respect, but do not become a desperate sycophant. Respect is one thing, but such obsequious behavior is easy to read as disingenous." Tanit said, a hard rattling cough catching up with her nearly before she could cover with the handkerchief. The stains of blood had set from repeated use, and by the looks of things the previously white fabric had been used for some time now.

"Once you have learned the basics of simple Lightsaber use, you should give consideration to what path you will follow. To learn a form, and truly master it, takes many years of dedication and patience. It is best to take into consideration what it is you seek out of your Lightsaber. There are many paths, each of them strong in their own right. Do you wish to be an unstoppable force, or an immovable object? Do you want rigidity and strict focus on form and footwork, or would you prefer something more relaxed and open to interpretation? The choices you make as an acolyte are some of the most important ones you will make in the Academy. None of them should be taken lightly. Your success relies on your mind, just as much as it does your body." Tanit said, straining through the physical pain to deliver some nugget of wisdom she had gleaned from her experience. It was not perfect, but the point was an important one that she learned along the way.

She looked the woman over once more and then back to her former master, "Since Darth Verrin praises me so highly, I feel as though it would be a missed opportunity if I did not assist him in teaching you the fundamentals. If he will allow me, I would like to go through the paces with you on what you have learned already." Tanit said, both of her hands clasped together behind at her lower back. She stood fairly formally and while she did not expect any protest from her former master, she could understand if Miss Tsintah had reservations about facing what Verrin had labeled a true warrior.

[mindscapeartist]

Incipit, 14

Verrin shrugged at the first question of, 'who was the bully'?  Verrin answered simply, "He goes by the name, Bin'tai." He had no reason to hide it.

In fact, he had no reason to hide much at the moment. The young woman had taken his hands, placing hers in his, and while they talked, they clasped one another. It was as strange as it was enjoyable - or perhaps it was strange because it was enjoyable. Part of being Sith involved a certain distancing of oneself from others. If one showed affection to another, it was often seen as weakness. If one placed enough trust to come into physical contact with e fellow Sith, one was placing themselves at their mercy - and the Sith weren't known for that quality. Right then, Verrin could have invoked the full fury of the Dark Side, and shot energy through his hands and into her body. electrocuting her - possibly to death. Similarly, with his attention on her touch, he might have missed when she turned a ring on her finger, enabling a poison dart to enter his palm when they touched. It was dangerous, and so was often avoided.

But that avoidance was also what made the touch special - and with new Sith, possible. That connection, between people, helped forge bonds that could grow when nurtured. Verrin had done that very thing with some of his former apprentices, like Darth Tanit.  And because of it, she hadn't struck him down when she finally left his oversight, and became a Lord in her own right. The Sith didn't have to strike down their masters to advance, but it was a popular measure of one's prowess - if they could defeat their master.

Verrin felt the young woman squeeze his hands at one point, and he marveled at how ingenuous or attentive she was. She hadn't been among the Sith overlong, so she still seemed to care - OR... she was one of the best liars in the business. Verrin chose to believe the former.

But then she was explaining her position on the matter of Bin'tai - how she saw him as a lesson to be learned, and that killing him was not necessary, or desired at the moment. She also went on to describe how her love of her father drove her, and how one needed to hate another more than they loved them in order to kill them. Verrin considered her words for a few moments while she delved into the Force, attempting to see the future.  When she emerged again, she described her vision of fire and ice, asking what it meant.

As if Verrin could know.

He spoke just as calmly as before, "I am no prophet, Miss Tsintah.  Anything I tell you would be an unfounded opinion.  I could imagine it's the dichotomy of life, or how the Force has two sides of a single coin, or even how if one doesn't pick a side, the both sides of the situation will lose to one another. They are truths, to one degree or another, but are hardly something specific.  I won't lie to you that way, affirming an interpretation as if it was the one, true way to view a situation. But remember that vision... meditate upon it now and again... see if it changes. I'd be curious to find out.

As for love... "

Now it was his turn to squeeze her hands. "Be careful how much you rely upon it to drive you.  When strong feelings of love - or hate - guide your hand in vengeance, then when you achieve it, what will you do? Without that goal, will you find that the drive had been the vengeance all along? Or worse - what happens if that goal is taken from you? What if the object of your vengeance is hit by a shuttle tomorrow - will love drive you through your studies?  Where will you pull your fountain of power from?"

He took a deep breath.  "Initially, my pursuit among the Sith was simple survival. Hatred and love didn't play a part at all. The Sith had come to my planet, and sought my abduction for my scientific knowledge. They took my family from me - killing them all, or so I believed. I eventually learned that my youngest daughter was alive, and suddenly, I had all the impetus in the galaxy to get stronger, to become more powerful.  My hatred of those Sith, and my love for her, drove me like a crazed beast.  And then I found her, and fought to break her out of captivity.

You know what though?  Those Sith had kept her alive because they sensed the Force in her.  They took her as a child and trained her to become a Sith. I was furious, sure... but not as angry as when Jedi arrived on the scene, eliminating all of the Sith gathered there. In their 'righteousness', they killed my baby girl.  Just as I had recovered her, she was taken again. And my hatred... my anger... saw only red-hot vengeance.

I'm told what I did to that Jedi was horrible - but I'm not sure I accurately remember the event. I was so crazed at the time, I think my brain shut down some part of itself for protection.  Either that, or the Dark Side claimed it as payment for services rendered. But either way, with hope gone and no more vengeance to be had, I was left holding an empty bucket of a life.  Some reassessment had to be done - some realigning of my life's goals and desires.

My point is this - that your love may be driving you now. That hatred may drive you to kill someone.  But in the greater scheme, what will you do when those goals are realized, and those drives are gone?  Where will you find the will to carry on - to move on?  I can tell you what my former master told me, though it will probably make little sense to you yet.

He said that to truly become a powerful Sith, one must pursue power for power's sake. At the time he told me, I couldn't appreciate the wisdom. Perhaps you can... or perhaps, like me, this will merely sit in the back of your mind until the time is right. We'll see."

He squeezed her hands once more, and then brought them together so all four were touching. "Perhaps your vision was flowed?  Scientifically speaking, fire an water never consume one another, they are merely energy and matter that change form.  Do they represent you, or factors outside of your immediate control?"

[mindscapeartist]

Incipit, 13

Relieved that Darth Verrin did not reprimand her for being called sensei, Kai relaxed and leaned back in her chair, listening. The Zabrak was surprisingly candid as he revealed aspects of his inner self that dealt with using the Force to sense emotions or intentions directed at him. She smiled a little when he laughed, sensing a growing sense of ease within the Sith Lord. As unexpected as it was, the initiate welcomed the sincerity with which it was imparted.

The laughter died down, eventually, a more somber tone setting in. Scratching her head, Kai pondered the Zabrak's first suggestion but did not find herself 'jumping' at the possibility. "A seer, me? No, my Lord. I don't believe that is my fate. Although I would not turn down any training in that area, if the opportunity would present itself. Right now, I see myself more of a 'sponge', ready to absorb anything in my vicinity that constitutes knowledge. I am not really sure what my strengths are yet, and it makes it difficult to point oneself in any specific direction. I am a fair pilot and a decent shot, but that hardly speaks to any area a Sith initiate would or should devote herself?"

Ending on a rhetorical question, Kai saw Darth Verrin extend his arms across to her, palms open. Does he want to initiate contact? Why? Does he sense how much I miss my father? Is he using it to control and manipulate me, knowing that I would find it difficult to refuse such a gesture? Or is he just being sincere and using feelings as any Sith would, unafraid to express whatever needs to be conveyed?

Hesitant at first, the young woman slowly reached out with her arms and placed her palms facing down, on top of the Zabrak's. Somewhere in the back of her mind she recalled the first line of an ancient code.

Peace is a lie, there is only passion.

My feelings, I should not fear them. Emotions can be a powerful tool when used properly. Nature and nurture should both power one's growth, according to needs, preferences and circumstances. I can learn a lot of things on my own, but I should not deprive myself of the valuable insight of my betters or my peers. In every encounter, there is a lesson to be learned, whether it ends in failure or a victory.

Kai sat there motionless as a strong clasp enveloped her fingers. Every now and then she would emit a brief nod in acknowledgment of what was being said to her. When Darth Verrin mentioned bonds, the girl immediately fell into a memory of her father and a light smile crept into her face, dual-colored eyes aglow with undisguised affection kindling there. Yet the idea of what the Zabrak said next, disturbed her. She could no more strike down her own father than she could drive a vibroblade through her own chest. It was not something Kai had ever considered before. All her rage and hatred was focused on those who killed her father. But killing someone close to her? Especially someone who had nurtured and mentored her, and helped her become everything she was to become?

The glow faded, replaced by a mask of cool civility. Darth Verrin continued his discourse, although following up his insights into passion with mentioning the bully confused Kai more than a little. The only 'passion' she felt for Bin'tai involved a fist sandwich to the face. Was the Zabrak suggesting that she made her tormentor her 'pet project'?

I should have seen this coming.

But Kai was not interested in forging any passionate bonds between herself and her antagonizer. She would just as soon see herself doing daily latrine duty in the whole of the Academy.

"What is best for me, is retaining focus in my studies, especially in this early stages. I cannot afford distractions. If he gets in my way again, I will deal with him accordingly. I don't know ~how I will do it just yet because I do not know him well enough. Come to think of it, I do not even know his name. But you could tell me that easily, couldn't you, sensei? Apologies. That is not me asking. I overstep."

That, Kai thought, was a mistake right there. The Zabrak would see right through it, her attempt to manipulate him into divulging a simple piece of information as they remained in tactile contact. The impulse to pull back her hands was strong, but she resisted. Pulling away would be slinking away, like a thief caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Pulling away would be like admitting defeat.  

Instead, as a brief flicker of sadness seemed to creep into the Sith lord's features, the girl delivered a soft squeeze to his fingers. She too, could be observant. But she was also sensitive enough not to pry or remark on the change in someone else's demeanor. There was no need for that.

"It only matters what you believe of yourself, sensei. As Sith, I imagine it is commonplace or even expected, to pass judgment on others. It would fall in line with what you said about the survival of the fittest, and all that. Yet the only judgment that matters in regard to yourself, is your own."

Leaning forward a little, Kai smiled and spoke with bold conviction not commonly witnessed from her. "The bully is not one of my chains. There is some insight in our paths crossing, some wisdom I have yet to discover. He is the lesson and I am the teacher."

To be honest, she had little interest in killing the young man unless it became absolutely necessary. With the untimely demise of her mother and the unfortunate passing of her father, Kai came to understand that death was often senseless and at times, could be avoided. Still, as Darth Verrin pointed out, one's hesitation to kill could lead to a fatal outcome.

"The act of taking a life is not difficult if you hate enough. But then your hate must be stronger than your love for whatever it is that is struggling to live. Is love a weakness, then? It is my love for my father that drives my purpose, my very reason for being here. Is it something I must cast away? I ask, so that expectations of me are made clear. I do not like being confused. I like being certain."

Considering what future Kai sensed for herself in the Academy, the Korun closed her eyes for a moment and let the Force seep through every inch of her being, enveloping her mind as it wandered through the matrix of endless, interconnecting lines that bound everything together. Visions floated up from the depths of her mind as they drifted out, toward the future. She saw many faces without names, settings without context. But through them all, she felt the Force everywhere and exulted in it. This brief moment of isolation showed her a vision of fire and ice, although Kai was positive it had to be some kind of metaphor.

Dual-colored eyes opened and locked with Darth Verrin's, her gaze as sharp and dangerous as an elegantly crafted Sith warblade.

"I saw tongues of flames going up against a wall of solid ice, the two eventually consuming one another. What does that mean, sensei?"

[mindscapeartist]

Incipit, 11

Darth Verrin did not need to say much with respect to the one incident which unfortunately led to another, far more unsavory one. In fact, he only offered one word and dismissed the whole thing altogether.

Why is he making it seem as if I had done nothing wrong?

It was Kai's clumsiness that caused the unfortunate episode with Bin'tai. Obviously, Darth Verrin either did not see it that way, or he chose to ignore it. Getting excited while 'learning' was perhaps, a good thing, in his book?

Fair enough.

The initiate watched the Sith Lord as he moved in her direction. She suspected the Zabrak wanted to share some insight with her and her instinct served her well. She listened without interrupting as Darth Verrin talked; visuals of all things he was describing metastasizing in her head as one seeped through another. They blended like metals mixed together to make a good sword. Kai enjoyed the imagery, not once losing track of the message being imparted. A small smile formed on her features, though the Korun was unaware of it at first.

At one point in the  monologue, the Zabrak called her 'Miss Tsintah'. His use of this simple title struck her as odd, considering the setting. A mere initiate, being shown civility. No, kindness. Even respect. However one chose to look upon it, the gesture was as flattering as it was  unexpected. Kai thought how very little of a person's life was taken up by truly meaningful moments, and considered that as insignificant as it might have seemed, this was one of them.

The head librarian was now seated across from her, explaining further the deep intricacies of the 'spider web' that was the Sith organization. In the past, she had often envisioned them as an all-powerful legion of warrior-poets, mired in conclaves, dark magics and most of all, blood. Now she was beginning to see that their numbers were far from many, their feelings ran deep, and their loyalties were complicated. Darth Verrin called it 'survival of the fittest' and Kai saw the truth of it. The basic response of any creature (sentient or not), was 'fight or flight'. At this Academy, flight meant giving up. It might as well have meant death.

And Verrin was right. Bin'tai's mentality was simple: he was a bully and as such, there was much fear in him. No stranger to fear, Kai knew that the most important thing to master with respect to that sensation, was not to let herself be governed by it. Existence was a life-long struggle; existence as a Sith, even more so. It meant a galaxy where all things would turn against her, and seek her life - unless she neutralized each and every threat, first. Bin'tai was one such threat and Kai would have to put an end to it, sooner or later. It was unavoidable.

"Can you, through the Force, sense the future here?"

The question brought Kai's mind to a stand-still as she pondered the ramifications of what was being asked of her. The future was mutable and yet, some things were certain. Dual-colored gaze lifted to meet the Zabrak's, the smile now having faded from her face which assumed a mask of cool determination.

"I know not what my future will be, I only know what I want it to be. There are many things in life that are uncontrollable or unavoidable. I deal with those, as they come. Sometimes I will do what I wish to do. The rest of the time, I will do what I must or what is required of me. I am reconciled with this kind of future."

The Korun's head canted curiously as a bold inquiry fell from her lips.

"And you, sensei Verrin? What kind of future do you sense, here?"

[mindscapeartist]

Incipit, 9

Terrifying and unnerving. These were the first two words that came to Kai's mind as the Guardians came closer. They were now within arm's reach, their faceless masks turned toward Bin'tai. The Sith remained convinced that the situation was none of his making as she heard him stutter, "She did it!  The newbie did it!  I was m-minding my own b-b-business!"

Her head lowered, the Korun spied what happened next with what little peripheral vision she had, and it was not a situation to be envied. Two Guardians moved in the agitated man, ignoring his efforts to keep them away. Mind you, Kai did not think holding up a hand would have stopped the wardens anyway. There was an eerie aura of power and grandeur emanating from them, but why that was so, Kai could not guess. She was only glad that the two Guardians seemed to ignore her completely and focused their attention on removing Bin'tai from the library, instead. He was grabbed by the arms and dragged from the area, not that it stopped him from objecting every step of the way.

I cannot deny the relief I feel, the Korun thought, her mind reeling a little from what she just witnessed. That could have been me, if I reacted poorly like that wretch who did not even give his name.

Daring to lift her head, Kai looked in the direction of the departing acolyte. Just as he was about to disappear from view, she heard his final words which nearly caused her to cringe. There was an almost menacing quality to Bin'tai's voice. Was he afraid of nothing? His respect for the Guardians was found wanting, in Kai's mind at least. As the trio vanished, the initiate's mouth opened, eager to emit a sigh of relief when it was interrupted by the sound of a rather unexpected snicker.

"Some things never change," the voice chuckled.

Unsettled by her surprise, Kai swung her head from left to right, looking to pinpoint the location of the voice. Even without visual confirmation, she knew its owner, having heard it several times since her arrival at the Academy. It was the venerable sensei and head librarian, Darth Verrin. Realizing that he would have at least heard (if not also seen) her ungraceful disturbance earlier, the Korun felt her cheeks warm instantly.  

"Apologies, sensei, for earlier clumsiness and the unfortunate noise that followed."

A quick glance to the chair, desk and books confirmed that all were undamaged, bringing at least temporary relief to the Korun's plum-colored face.

[mindscapeartist]

Inception, 18

The girl wanted to express her appreciation to Darth Verrin, but instead, ended up pondering his initial question. The Zabrak continued to talk and she listened to his words, attempting to commit the majority of them to memory.

"There is very little to do for a girl like me, with only a handful of basic social skills," Kai began, after Darth Verrin finished speaking. "The first time I thought something was different about me was when I was told that my mother had perished, torn to pieces by fierce predators on my home planet. I was no stranger to death; you see people and domestic animals pass on every now and then. But I underestimated the void I felt when I learned of my mother's dying. There was sadness, anguish and indescribable frustration, mostly because I knew there was no force in the Galaxy that could ever bring her back. After my father took his leave of me and I was alone in the hut, I cried bitter tears of hatred and longing. And there was no respite for me from all that I felt. No relief to ease the ache of my mother's passing. For what seemed like the longest time, I would just sit there, a heap of misery lingering on in darkness and doubt. And in that pathetic, forlorn state I waited for a miracle that would never come."

Kai sighed, the memories she spoke of flashing in her mind vividly, as if they had just taken place.

"But that was only the beginning. Once I finally dragged myself off the floor, I felt the frustration and frenzy rise inside me again. Without thinking, I picked up things and threw them about, wanting to shatter the place our family called home. That was when things first started to move about without me necessarily touching them. My rage woke something inside me that I did not know existed. It was confusing and frightening at first. When my father returned home and found the destruction I had caused, he could not believe a little girl could have done it. I was charged with cleaning up the mess, a task I dreaded very much given how much of it there was. And then the idea came to me, that the same talent that helped me unleash so much raw power, could perhaps be used to put everything back together. It took a lot of trying, venerable Lord. I had almost given up in frustration. That is when I discovered that only serenity could grant me a semblance of control needed to put things back."

She thought the story might bore him; it was probably something the Zabrak had heard (in various guises) dozens of times before. Still, he was the teacher and as a student, she would not leave a question unanswered. Watching the desk rise as he talked was a treat to see; the power of the Sith Lord was impressive to her even if to him it was likely a mere trifle. And when Darth Verrin rendered his judgment as to her future capabilities and potential, Kai felt a sense of pride rapidly soar inside her, causing dual-colored eyes to flash appreciation and pleasure at the Sith Lord's words.

"Gratitude, Lord Verrin," she murmured, rising from her seat to offer a deep bow to mirror her words. The Korun had no luxuries; in fact, she had very few possessions of any kind, other than tools designated for her survival. She assured him that his words would be followed and offered a little shy smile before casting a quick glance to the artifical life form. Suppose this Maggie was not so bad, if Darth Verrin found her useful.

As to questions, Kai only had one.

"Venerable Lord, if it please you I would have Maggie show me to these other places you have mentioned. Also, and I hope you do not find the inquiry impertinent, but who is to be my teacher? I would like to get started right away."

[mindscapeartist]

Inception, feat. Kai Tsintah

Artwork © Copyright Tansie Stephens - All Rights Reserved