#kalaron

[vokriid]

will I ever be able to write a fully sexy porn scene? the answer is unlikely.

I could write Vokriid and Miraak trying to have sex and deciding to bail halfway thru bc Miraak gets sensory overload very easily. that scene is meant to be more sweet and tender than actually sexy, and they p much just chill in bed together for awhile.

alternatively, I will write Kalaron having sex w Solalis the first time they meet and Caessera accidentally walking in on them, and then a few hours later Kalaron showing up to that super important job interview to hopefully get his promotion to a very high-rank of Thalmor agent and then he sees that Caessera is his new boss. who introduces herself as Solalis's mother. and Kalaron just sinks into the floor in absolute mortification.

but an entirely sexy sex scene? apparently not.

[vokriid]

Kalaron’s ‘pet’ cat Captain is actually an Alfiq Khajiit, but it isn’t until Kalaron’s basically adopted as an ESA and poured his heart out to this little Khajiit that one of the cooks in the Embassy tells him. and by that time, Alfiq Khajiit is too attached to and worried about Kalaron to leave. so Kalaron has to switch to treating his pet to treating him like a little person and it’s very disorientating. also he absolutely does not tell Elenwen that he accidentally technically let a stranger inside the Embassy and shared multiple state secrets

Khajiit cook: oh, you have a small Khajiit friend! hello, kinsman!

Kalaron:

[vokriid]

stress drawing of my favorite son I did while listening to PatD’s new album since more than half the songs on there are incredibly fitting. anyway, only elite Thalmor agents get fancy outfits.

[vokriid]

at this point half of Kalaron's character is basically that tweet that goes "Just ended a 5yr relationship." "Holy shit are you okay?" "Yeah it wasnt my relationship lol"

[vokriid]

Deputy Director Kalaron of the Aldmeri Dominion, looking uncharacteristically pensive. 

[vokriid]

I......need to talk about Kalaron, I love him. I love my son. so some facts.

1. he’s the deputy director of a Thalmor intelligence network and assassin group called the Aldmeri Eyes, the current 3rd Dominion ver of the Queen’s Eyes from ESO. his job generally handles espionage and esp. Blades.

2. his boss is also his mother-in-(common)law, so that’s a fun dynamic. he never properly married Solalis, but they’ve been lovers for upwards of 50yrs, so.... this also makes him Vokriid/Aureya’s brother-in-(common)law, which she absolutely hates.

3. he’s a major Sanguinist and p much everyone knows. he has 3 chem addictions, will fuck just about anything with a pulse and is basically the physical embodiment of Skippy’s List. 

4. he’s super lax about literally anything not directly involving his job. Talos worshipers? eh, go bother a justiciar. stormcloaks? unless they’re harboring his targets, not interested. dragons? well thats fucking cool.

5. master of illusion whose interrogation MO is sensory deprivation + extremely potent fear spells. thinks physical torture is a waste of time.

6. illusion-ing himself to look like other people is his favorite hat trick.

[vokriid]

So does Elenwen kill Kalaron on the spot or?

nope lmao. part of Kalaron’s job (aside from hunting Blades) is weeding out and killing spies, for which he needs absolute immunity so that he can investigate higher-ranked Thalmor if he needs to. Elenwen may be the highest-ranking Thalmor in Skyrim, but she still can’t fire or punish Kalaron unless she wants to enjoy the lovely experience of being court-martialed. the only person who can make Kalaron suffer for his dumbass behavior is his boss, and she’s back in Alinor (and doesn’t give a shit as long as he’s relatively functional).

[vokriid]

*P!atD in the background* GET BOOZY BOOZY BOOOZZZYYYY

drew (and put thru paintschainer) my handsome Thalmor, Sanguinist son, Kalaron.