#kangaroo irl

[greenekangaroo]

Technoblade never dies and NEITHER DOES THE GREEN KANGAROO MOTHERFUCKERS WE ARE IN REMISSION!

Thank FUCK.

Now it IS something I'm gonna have to watch for- well the rest of my life, tbh, but holy fuck that was a win the family needed.

[greenekangaroo]

Hey guys so I can't afford food.

Like 'less than 60$ in the bank account when all the bills clear despite having just been paid' can't afford food.

So uhhh if anyone is feeling generous venmo is @greenekangaroo. Pretty sure I have a kofi I never use under the same name but I haven't logged in for ages- profile picture is skizz's beacon on hermitcraft. There might not be that extra e, see again 'haven't logged in in ages'.

I'm gonna try getting out of bed now because laying here crying and exhausted doesn't actually get anything done.

Tragic.

[greenekangaroo]

Ocarina of Time is getting a remake and I am Not Okay.

I need you all to understand something. The only fandom tattoo on my body is the Goron Bracelet (to lift heavy things with A.)

My SINGULAR claim to gamer glory is that I can navigate the OoT Water Temple with no map, no guide, no problems.

Once upon a time, drunk off my ass, I successfully and completely navigated the Water Temple and beat Aquatic Amoeba Morpha in under an hour and I FELL ASLEEP DURING THE BOSS FIGHT. This is how I gained the respect of my brother in law and therefore is a cherished memory.

It was the first game I ever finished. The first game that made me cry. The first game I played again, and again, and again.

I know it won't be the same. I HOPE it won't be the same. Give me new areas and new dialogue, update the mechanics, flesh out the lore so that it feels more entrenched in the wider universe of Legend of Zelda. Add a sky castle. Make the scary parts scarier.

(add durability to the master sword and I'll fucking end you though for real.)

But my god, autumn forests in Minecraft, My Game coming back to me in a new form (that I will admittedly have to buy a whole new fucking console for fuck Nintendo but that's another story)

2026 has been shit, and this doesn't fix losing Dad or any of the other bullshit, but I get to cause an old man to spiral into madness with a time paradox (which is NOT THE SAME THING AS A PLOT HOLE, OUTSIDE EXTRA, TURN YOUR LOCATION ON I JUST WANT TO TALK-) and I get to save Hyrule again.

[greenekangaroo]

Donate to Replace This Tub Before It Decides To Murk Me, organized by Serah Carter

Hello everyone, my name's Serah and my tub is a fucking disaster! That'… Serah Carter needs your support for Replace This Tub Before It

Time to update this blurb!

So the tub that this gofundme was for has been installed and now the remaining amount will basically go towards paying off the loan I had to take out.

'Roo,' I hear you ask, 'why did you take out a loan if you had a gofundme?'

Because banks will pay out when your paperwork clears and the largesse of strangers is much harder to predict. I knew when I started the gofundme that I wouldn't be able to pay for the whole tub install with it.

After the tub itself was installed the universe sort of tried to crush me- I lost Rasputin, the election happened, and now I'm dealing with Roo's Magical Medical Mystery Tour, which doesn't have an end destination and to be honest the crappiest catering on the seven high seas.

So all that is just to say that yeah this gofundme is staying here either until the heat death of the universe or until it's fulfilled.

Regardless of how my sibling feels about it.

(One of us is better at shilling than the other can you tell?)

[greenekangaroo]

so I'm reading the Empyrean series because one of my ride or die besties is deep in the pit and she loves herself some romantasy and like honestly

I do Not Care about the main couple like okay they're not the worst but because this is a romantasy I know they'll be Fine regardless so I don't feel the need to be invested in their relationship

but I am VERY invested in all the centuries of war and fucked up politics and dragons and THEIR fucked up politics

so now in book 2 it is very much me going 'okay yeah I know he won't tell you everything it's very tragic can we get back to the secret wars please'

[greenekangaroo]

Dad died thursday morning.

It was quick. He went down, he stayed down. He'd been in pain for days. The last time I saw him alive was sunday night, when I laid down with him for a while and we talked about nothing much. I told him I loved him and he said he loved me and that has to be enough.

He's getting cremated. We can pick him up Tuesday. We're scheduling a celebration of life.

It's the worst thing to ever happen and yet a relief. He was in so much pain, and he was so tired. He was angry that he wouldn't make it and scared for my mother and for us.

I didn't go to work thursday, or today. Instead I scheduled my car for its yearly inspection and an oil change- things that are normally difficult, because my car is always moving and coordinating rides is a nightmare.

Turns out it needs brakes.

Turns out it could use tires.

So now my dad is dead, I owe my mechanic 600 dollars, and I am officially declaring the decade a wash. I've had enough. This year is cordially invited to fucking bite me.

[greenekangaroo]

i am a bad patient

Me staring down my computer two days after surgery: we can do this

tiny me in a hospital gown with a clipboard that just has 'SLEEP' written in big letters on a single piece of paper: Boss we got a five inch incision in our neck

Me: there's got to be a chapter or a short or something in here

tiny me: boss they took out a lymphnode the size of a newborn cat

me: all we need is some inspiration.

tiny me, hitting me on the ear with the clipboard: BOSS THE OPIOIDS!

[greenekangaroo]

The little dog who I reluctantly took charge of when my elderly neighbor had to enter a nursing home was put to sleep today.

I did not like this dog. I did not think of her as a pet or anything more than a task to be dealt with. She arrived two months before my cancer diagnosis, and I resented having to look after her along with having to suddenly look after myself in a way I wasn't used to and wasn't even sure I could manage. We are a house of cats for a reason.

That being said, it wasn't her fault. She was just a dog, doing what dogs did- in her case, trying to be a companion where one was neither wanted nor needed. She wasn't neglected while she was here- she got treats, and pets, was fed regularly and had two nice plush beds, one to sit in to make sure I didn't move from my armchair and one to sleep in at the foot of my bed.

I wondered if I'd somehow done something to facilitate her condition worsening. Was she not being fed enough? Did one of the headers she took off the side of my bed in her impatience cause some damage I didn't feel or see?

No. She was already a three-legged fifteen year old dog, and things had just advanced to the point where she was in pain all the time, the kind of pain that normal prescribed drugs couldn't help. The vet made a call and my mother agreed.

No one feels good about this. My elderly neighbor's heart is going to be broken, and she's already miserable and alone in a nursing home, too stubborn to try reaching out to other residents or do anything but wish she was back in a house that was sold mid-last year to pay for her care.

I don't feel good about it. I promised her I'd look after that dog, and even though it came at the worst possible time I did my best and feel like my best wasn't good enough.

I just- god damn.