#kardel

[derzhavinart]

Kardel and Azura, beautiful OC's of Kardel_VA and Azura the Azure Dragon!

[rikorisbae]

Oh my god, march 5th is my bday lmao. Waow. What about u guys?

[bulletproofmondays]

days like these

i look back and think of the times we were young, when I had everything to fear and when you had your all to give. I wish I could go back and turn back the clock. If I could I would will every single cell in my body to take the risk and charge forward. You never made me feel once uncomfortable and let me take my time. That was what I loved about you most, you being so patient, selfless and considerate. Thank you. Thank you for healing my trauma. Till this day I still think about you sometimes. The old times were great while they lasted. I felt like you knew me, and I’m so afraid I will never find someone that can do what you did for me anymore. I will always wish the best for you, and I will always hope that you’re happy and living your best life. 

[bulletproofmondays]

the lights flashed and

before time washes everything away, I wanted to come on here to document it. 

somehow we found each other back. we were texting happily and we were together. it felt like the good old times, except that this time I finally stepped up and gave you a real piece of me. it felt so real. so fucking real that i wanted to grab onto it all and not let go. so fucking real that i was ready to give it all and jump head over heels into it without a single thought. so fucking real that nothing and no one could change my mind. more than ever i felt so sure, and full of hope because i knew we were about to work this out and last till the end of time. suddenly the lights went out and suddenly I was receiving texts under your name from a few people that were obviously not typed by you, accusing me of destroying your previous relationship, condemning me for the heartless bitch I used to be, telling me I didn’t deserve you then and certainly not now. I didn’t care for all those because I knew it wasn’t true. But a part of me deep down still yearned for your reassurance, be it a hug or the assurance when our gaze meets and so I started searching for you.

That’s when I woke up. Reality hit. It hit hard, and it hurt. I felt instant regret although I know now we were meant to cross paths but never meant to be. You played a big part in my journey and helped heal me. Your patience, the way you gently and considerately yet unconditionally poured your love out which helped heal the hole in my heart, your ever so kind and pretty words, gentle tone and reassuring gaze, literally treating me as the apple of your eye. Somehow it felt like you knew, how fragile i was; so prone to shattering even at the slightest touch. You were so careful and immensely patient, never once taking out your frustrations on me even though you probably had quite a bit. Your emotional maturity when dealing with me yet being protective and assuring enough all at the same time. Thank you for being so patient, for allowing to to be me, giving me all the space I needed and still loving me the same all at once. 

To me you deserve nothing but the best and I really wish the best for you, even up till this very day. Your wife must have probably saved an entire country in her previous life to be deserving of you. Always be happy. I’ll always love you and you’ll always be a part of me. 

[bulletproofmondays]

stages of life

hbd kardel. so much has changed. you’re now a dad. wow. I still cannot fathom how quickly time can pass us by. I’ll never forget all the things you did for me. I’m probably that bad girl that you shouldn’t talk to in the eyes of your friends, but I know you never gave up. Thank you for just silently being there all the time, patiently waiting on me the whole time while I was battling myself. I’m sorry I didn’t own up to my feelings and come through ultimately.  Thank you for being sincere from the bottom of your heart. I might just be a passing person in your life but you have really touched mine. Thank you for everything you’ve done, for dropping sleep just to hear me complain, for coming down to the club because I told you to, just for everything you’ve done for me. Thank you for teaching me what being there for someone means. I really wonder if I’ll ever meet anyone like you again. I’ll never be able to eat that tiramisu you said you’ll make me anymore. I just feel like now that you’re a dad things have really changed. I hope you’ll be a good dad. I know you will actually. I just wanna say that even though our time has passed, I will always want the best for you. Maybe one day when we both are happily married with our hair all turned grey, we’ll meet each other again and I’ll say “hey, you know, I actually loved you then. I’m sorry I didn’t come around, but thank you for teaching me so much old friend” I will always always always want the best for you. 

[bulletproofmondays]

小幸運

to me that is what you are, what would have probably been one of the best times of my life if I didn’t fear. I hate to always have nothing but apologies to you. I don’t exactly regret because you have taught me a lot. I hope you will find happiness and always keep it. It’s not my place to hold your hand or kiss away your tears when you cry but I really hope you will always have the best because I know for one you deserve nothing less. You will always have a special place in my heart and I will always be grateful x

[bulletproofmondays]

dear k

Even as the feelings we had then dull though all these time, there will forever be a soft spot for you in my heart because of all the things you’ve taught me and because you made me feel things I’ve never felt. All I can give you now is an apology because you waited on me for so long but I never came around. It doesn’t mean I love you any less than you did. In fact what I felt for you could probably match yours, if not more. I’m sorry that I didn’t have that courage then to take another step forward.  I will always always want the best for you, and I always wish that you’re happy, even if it wasn’t with me. Even as time passes, you will always be my baby. 

[bulletproofmondays]

dear k

too much time and too many people have passed us by for me to know how to act when I saw you. i just wanted to say that despite it all, you will always have a special place in my heart. goodbye my love.