#karieash

[carkrash]

(whenever you see this) you should know that i am not okay not happy and so fucking sad and i hate myself. i feel broken numb frozen and still. i keep crying and i hate it so much. i thought i was getting better and then summer came along and august fucked me up and i've been a shit show since and i hate it. the crying comes more often and i hate it. i don't know why i'm telling you, you're going to blame yourself and i genuinely don't know if there's anything you can do to help me. i love you and i'm sorry you have me as your girlfriend; a piece of shit who doesn't know how to listen.

a draft almost sent to my girlfriend

[carkrash]

you can tell I'm hurt because I'm using professional words it's not casual it's my way of avoiding your glass while mine is been cracked i'll say your name instead of babe just to be subtle my chest will go heavy while my voice goes unsteady but i'll speak without trouble just so you won't mind and that time you called me out for not caring about the little things still comes to mind when you say "it's no big deal" fuck, i care how you feel man, i want to do better i'd change just for you without you asking me to because i know you wouldn't I'm hurt because I'm not what you deserve you should have the world while I'm not even a piece of it you should have control and i cannot offer it

'i'm sorry,' me

[carkrash]