#karpchronicles

[thekarpchronicles-blog]

David Karp entered the tumblr offices, blissfully unaware of his entire staff's resentment for him

He walked straight past his receptionist, his moderators, his editors, his support, and his VP to his office. 

Sarah Hyneman jumped up from her seat and followed David to his office but he promptly slammed the door shut as soon as he made it through, breaking Sarah's nose.

Sarah entered sheepishly and covered in blood. "Hi David."

David sat in his reclining office chair but remained silent.

Sarah could feel the tension in the room. It was incredibly uncomfortable. "How was the hospital? I heard they tranquilized you... Sorry about that." 

David coughed.

"So anyways," said Sarah, trying to get to the point and out of his office as fast as possible, "Tumblr users just want to know what we're going to take away next. The reblog button? The follow button? Limit to posting five pictures a day?"

David rolled his eyes. 

"So what is it then?" interrogated Sarah.

"Nothing," replied David.

Sarah smiled and walked out of his office, but then David turned around and whispered

"Everything."

[thekarpchronicles-blog]

David Karp was in locked in his office and laughing uncontrollably

Sarah Hyneman, VP of Tumblr, was outside the door. "David honey I'm coming in okay? Get dressed, I have the key. There are some men with me, don't be afraid David. Everything will be okay." Sarah turned the key and entered the office with the two burly men. 

David was on the floor, rolling on his sides and cackling like a madman.

The two men approached him and cautiously lifted him up, only to begin wrapping a straight-jacket around the chemically imbalanced CEO. 

"Everything's going to be okay David." Sarah spoke calmly.

David continued to laugh.

"Why are you laughing David?"

David stopped laughing and spoke very sternly, "The users. They asked how they could still talk to each other via ask box."

Sarah raised an eyebrow; She didn't understand. The two men picked up David and began to carry him from the office.

David looked back at Sarah, "I told them they could e-mail each other."

Sarah gasped in horror. 

David smiled,

"BUT THEY CAN'T SEND E-MAIL ADDRESSES VIA ASK!" 

[nastyacidface]

come on david karp... really?

you delete KarpChronicles... and you delete Rhyse's blog? He was my favorite blog on the internet and now you have ruined my week because you can't take a fucking joke.

tumblr staff is stupid

[thekarpchronicles-blog]

David Karp sat in his office, cackling maniacally at his latest evil deed

Sarah burst through the door. "Mr. Karp! I can't belie-"

"I've been expecting you Sarah," chuckled David. "Did you see what I did?"

"Of course I saw what you did! The whole internet saw what you did! You deleted that Rhyse kid's account! You single handedly destroyed both his personal blog, and one of the funniest blogs in our directory!" Sarah was furious. Her face was beet red and her palms sweating. She never spoke up to David like this. 

"That's right," said David, spinning around in his seat and standing up to look out his window at the New York City skyline. "Karp Chronicles is.. no.. more," he said in his best Severus Snape voice yet. His impression was improving. 'Soon I'll make my own Potter Puppet Pals,' thought David.

Sarah stormed across David's office and grabbed his shoulder, spinning his 135 lb frame around with with ease. "Look at me David!"

David looked at Sarah and gagged rather audibly.

"YOU CAN'T DELETE BLOGS FOR NO REASON!" Sarah had never been more angry in her life. Her eyes were a fiery bloodshot red and David felt them piercing through his very soul. "Do I make myself clear?!"

"I had a reason though Sarah." David replied coldly while pushing her away.

"And what was that?"

 He could feel the power being restored to him after Sarah's outburst. He felt stronger and more confident than ever. David turned around and shot Sarah a look so harsh that she stumbled backwards. 

"You don't. Fuck. With Karp."

[deepshadows]

what

did tumblr seriously delete karpchronicles?!

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[vincentvangoghfuckyourself]

Wait what?

Did they seriously delete Karpchronicles?

That's fucked up if it's true.

[thefirstdayofourlives]

In Soviet Tumblr, only Karp can make fun of you.

[thefirstdayofourlives]

The KarpChronicles were my reason for life.