Her first true Master is dead. She knows she can still attend general classes, that she can get saber instruction, creep around the library trying to make herself useful. Nothing is stopping her from doing that. But he had believed in her and treated her like she had a spark of potential, and she’d been so thrilled when he took her under his wing as his Padawan. And now he’s gone, and she’s nobody in particulars. It stings in the same way her childhood memories of being given away to the Jedi Order stings. Like the sting of knowing her mother had given her up to her grandparents, even though she had no memory of her.
Maybe there’s something about her that pushes people away.
14.) Their greatest moment
Her defense of Kalikori Village during the Imperial assault on Tython. She, Nalen Raloch, Manneus, and Spanios held off a bunch of assault troopers and 2 Sith apprentices. And then she talked down a Darth… The full story of this will eventually be posted, I swear.
16.) The stuff of nightmares
Lightning crackles over her body, burning and searing and filling the air with burned flesh and sharp ozone. She screams as the pain hits and stiffens her body, makes her drop her saber and clutch at herself and eventually fall to the ground sobbing. Then the assault stops, but she can’t make her body move in the way she wants it to. She’s able to crack her eyes open in time to see the Sith redirect his lightning. It strikes Manneus, and he arches backward and screams himself. It coruscates around his body and he spasms in the same way she did. She wants to comfort him or do anything, but she can’t. He crumples to the ground screaming, and the Sith swings his lightsaber down to bisect him. There’s nothing she can do but watch him die…
18.) When they felt most alive
When the pieces of a puzzle click into place and she just knows something that she didn’t know before. When she convinced the holocron of a long-dead Jedi Master that she’s ready to hear the next level of knowledge. Solving the access codes to get into an ancient tomb on Belsavis. When she completes writing a brilliant essay - and the exultation of it being confirmed in front of her peers. Those times when her mind is on fire.
20.) Something comforting
Sitting down to read in the Temple’s main library, curled in a comfortable chair with a warm robe on.
22.) When they were content
They’re in one of the old Kaleth ruins, sitting down and catching their breath after having fought off some droids. Nalen is kneeling before her while he’s bandaging up her leg, his hands warm on her inner thigh as he applies the antiseptic, and before she can think twice, she blurts out “I wish you were doing something else there.”
How embarrassing! She turned a darker shade of blue as she flushed.It’s not the first time she’s implied she wants a physical relationship, and she’s sure he’s sensed her infatuation. But this time he doesn’t just dismiss it with a soundless shrug. He stops what he’s doing and looks at her, blue eyes meeting purple. “It’s not the Jedi way.”
She can’t tell what his flat tone means and it makes her flush. Is it mocking her interest? Trying to be a calm deflection? Reminding her of what she should know?
“Not all Jedi believe in celibate non attachment.”
“You refer to Master Massani. Or should I say, the Masters Massani,” Nalen said with a slight smile. It was common knowledge more than one of the Zabrak Jedi had found their own attachments.
“I’ve discussed it with her and she says - “
Nalen held up a hand. “Why me?”
“Because you’re fascinating. You came to the Jedi in a very different manner. No one believed in you - “
“Except you, and a few others,” he interrupted.
“-and yet you’ve done so well. Especially when we were protecting your village. I thought if you felt you had to choose between being a Jedi and being a Pilgrim, you’d choose them. You’ve changed so much since you came in. And everything you knew before that, and how different you were - it’s just…” She was floundering now.
“You helped me walk that path,” Nalen told her. “All the times you helped me understand Jedi philosophy, snuck me those non-standard texts they told me I wasn’t ready to read. The times we argued about so many things. Those all helped me learn what the Masters couldn’t teach me alone.”
Her blush kept going and she wanted to melt into the floor. “Maybe I gave you insight, but you achieved on your own.”
“I like working with you.” His voice was rougher now. “I want to keep working with you. I don’t want to engage in anything that might breach that.”
“You think a - a relationship would change that?” Hers was high and breathless.
His hand moved up to brush along her scarred cheek, and her whole body tingled. “If we tire of each other…”
“I want a physical relationship because I care about you already. Those feelings influence how we work together. How can deepening that harm us?” She lifted her hand to press to his. “I want to try.”
Instead of answering in words, he leaned forward to kiss her. As they pressed their lips together, she felt like she was flying.
