Thorn of Emberlain: Sabetha FanFic.
A little something I have written exploring what Sabetha could be dealing with after she leaves Karthain. (Spoilers for the first three books in the Gentleman Bastard Sequence). @incorrectgentlemanbastards this is about what we were talking about the other day.
Sabetha stepped off the boat and into the docks of Ashcoppin. It was a city north of Karthain in Balinel, far enough away she hoped nobody would recognise her and she could think about how she was going to make enough money to survive on for a while, before moving somewhere else. Not something she could dwell on for long, as she wasn't quite sure how long she had before making money in her usual means became difficult.
The docks were bustling with workers that paid her no heed as she walked past in her long chocolate skirts and red velvet jacket. Just another traveller passing through. She only had one bag with her filled with the only belongings she could pack when she left Karthain. The thought still weighed heavy on her heart. What, who she had left behind. And what that would mean for her now regarding her own situation.
Sabetha sighed, letting the thought go, and walked deeper into the city. Most of the people who lived here were merchants or were travellers waiting for the next ship out into the Sea of Brass, so the streets were very busy, enough so that she could disappear into a crowd if unwanted attention arose. She passed a few inns, but decided to opt to one deeper into the heart of the city so that she would have less chance of meeting so many travellers that could potentially recognise her. An added bonus to this, was that the inns deeper into the city were significantly grander, as they expected visitors to stay for far longer than a night or two.
She walked between two large brass columns and through the glass doors on one such establishment. The smell of citrus and lemongrass greeted her, a welcoming smell, and she paid for a room on the top floor. As she was now going to be careful about climbing for a while, at least she could enjoy the view of the city from her window.
She climbed the several floors to her room, surprised at how out of breath she was when she reached the top and settled in. The room indeed had a view of the city, and over the expanse of land, she could just see the glistening waves of the Sea of Brass. She could just about make out some features of people milling about below. An apple seller, basket in one arm, doffed his hat to a passing women, as her children hurried up to him, coins in hand and greedily grabbed a few apples. Sabetha's hand drifted absentmindedly to her lower stomach, as she stared transfixed at the children as they ran around in circles, taking large chunks from their fruit as their mother giggled, shaking her head.
She had been that young once, but she never remembered being so carefree. Would she have been different had she been allowed to grow up in her own mother's care instead of cradled in the harshness of the streets and what kind of mother would that make her? Had there ever been a point when she just lived without a thought but freedom and happiness. Her life had been carved in coldness and brutality. How was she supposed to raise someone differently?
She had found out when she reached the Ironhorn Mountains to secure a boat here. It had been a few weeks walk from Karthain, and when some of the mountain people had offered her some fish for dinner, the smell had caused her to throw up, then and there. One of the women joked about her being pregnant, which sent a cold chill down her spine. She had racked her brain for when her last bleed had been, when she had met Locke for dinner on the barge. Five weeks before.
That caused her to throw up again.
She had always been so careful in taking her daily tonic, since her first bleed, that in the flurry of running, Karthain burning behind her, she must have forgotten. Those first few days after she left were a blur in her mind.
Their local physiker had confirmed her thoughts, and for the rest of her stay she had stayed in quiet contemplation alone waiting for the boat. She would not be lying when she said her first words after that had been a string of colourfully arranged curses that would not be far from home in a sailor's mouth.
When she had left that night she packed everything she would need in sight before quickly leaving, never could she have guessed she had left with something she didn't pack. A stowaway, in her womb. Reminding her just exactly how much of a bad decision it was to leave. Preva, it seemed, had a sense of humour.
A few weeks on now, Sabetha had warmed to the idea of becoming a mother. Silently in her heart she hoped for a daughter. To have her own little girl to cherish, though a son certainly would not be unwelcomed. A daughter would be harder for sure. There are so many ways this world was more dangerous for a little girl, especially if she shared the colour of her hair. But Sabetha had survived, and thrived. She was certain if she had a daughter, through her careful guidance she would too.
Sabetha moved away from the window at last, shaking off her boots by the bed and undoing her jacket. Later, she would go downstairs and scope out any potentially targets using her feminine wiles, though that was the last thing she wanted to do, but now all she wanted was to rest.
She laid down atop the silk sheets and comforter and stared at the ceiling. She had a few months at best before she started to show, though she wouldn't be barred from making money her usual way, it would certainly be more difficult, so she would make as much money in these next few weeks as she could so she could seclude herself and raise her child comfortably for a little while after they were born. Or at least enough to live on until she hears about a city collapsing and heads towards where Locke and Jean were surely to be.
Locke. He had no idea. Not that she had known that their final love making that night of the election would lead them to this. Not that it would even cross his mind. He knew how careful she always was. Had witnessed it from when they first started their courtship that summer in Espara so many years ago. A part of her regretted not taking that tonic. How much trouble she surely was now in, completely alone. But mostly, she couldn't care less. She finally had something that was hers that nobody could take away from her.
She would find him one day, and tell him. Whether that was before or after their child was born was yet to be known. He would blame himself to be sure, and curse her for not finding him sooner. All of which she was prepared for. She cursed herself too.
She wondered if their child would be as troublesome as Locke. Whether they'd come out of the womb and pickpocket the physiker and drive her up the wall with their intelligence. She giggled to herself; a girlish sound she hadn't made in too much time. A child like Locke she could deal with, it was a child like her she was afraid of having. Stubborn and secretive. A child like herself, she wasn't sure could read.
Sabetha laid there, thoughts of the future swirling around her head as she slowly drifted off to sleep.
