Coming Home
(Written for @flashfictionfridayofficial‘s prompt of the week: Alien Sunsets. Set after the end of Constellations in the dreamverse universe (because yes there’s going to be more of dreamverse!!)
Kastoris isn’t sure what she should be feeling right now, but it probably isn’t this.
She’s leaning against Fei, who in turn is leaning against a tree. The sand is gritty and grainy around their feet, and Kastoris is pretty sure her first thoughts about the sand and the sea and the sky aren’t supposed to be that it’s too warm and too solid and too… too rough.
And she’s aware! Kastoris is perfectly aware of how that sounds because she was supposed to have grown up here, on Dirister, and she would have and she does actually remember what it was like to be a small child and be under the sun all day and have lessons. (And she does remember what it was like to be beaten for every not-A grade and she does remember she wasn’t a baby when they left.)
But the sunset, painting the sky all pink and gold and orange, looks so strange and feels so unnaturally warm. The sunset on Dirister is supposed to be one she’s familiar with, especially because she remembers missing it for the first year when they were in Cloud, and she remembers being a child and staring at the sky and wondering if she could paint that. (And knowing that she would never be allowed to because that would be art and she wouldn’t get the marks for it and she wouldn’t get an A.)
She’s leaning against Fei and she realises for the first time in months that this is the first time in two years that she’s just sat with Fei, with the older sister she’s actually closest to in age, and not talked about work or been doing work. Crossways has been taking up a lot of their collective time and Kastoris doesn’t begrudge Soren it! Kastoris knows that Soren is doing good work and important work and that they’ve always tried their best for them.
But at this precise moment, where the sun is setting and the long shadows being cast along the beach and the ocean breeze is salty and gentle and tickling her hair and cheeks and arms, Kastoris doesn’t know how to feel.
It should be safe. It should be comforting, after all, like all the stories about coming home after being away for a long time. It should be good and warm and Kastoris knows. Kastoris knows she’s Diristerian; it’s not easy to forget when you’ve been reminded pretty consistently for the past ten years that you’re Diristerian and mortal, and well, not a wind spirit or faerie at all.
Kastoris doesn’t know what she is. Because a human should be comforted by the sunset on a beach, but Kastoris isn’t. Kastoris doesn’t know where she belongs and that… that scares her.
“You want to talk?” Fei asks.
Kastoris nearly jolts because she didn’t actually expect Fei to talk. But Fei’s looking at her expectantly and Kastoris hasn’t talked to her sister in a while, and Kastoris doesn’t know how to start.
There’s a caw from a flock of seagulls flying over the sea. Kastoris lies back, letting her whole weight rest against her sister. Kastoris feels something, and she thinks and is pretty sure it’s an ant, crawl over her right leg, and she flinches hard.
Hard enough that she dislodges herself from Fei and lands in the sand. The sand gets all over her skin and Kastoris can’t help but panic.
It’s burning against her skin, and its small tiny ants crawling everywhere and its darkness and its warmth and for a moment, Kastoris can’t breathe. The sand is sharp in areas and it’s prickling her skin like thousands of tiny needles and she didn’t realise it would hurt she didn’t realise it would be solid and painful and-
“Let’s get out of the beach, yes?” Fei says quietly, wrapping her arms around Kastoris’ wrists and forearms. She brushes Kastoris off gently and wraps the picnic blanket around her and then guides her back in the direction of the Doorway back to the clinic.
They turn away from the sunset, and Kastoris knows what she’s feeling at this moment, and at the moment where she steps past the Doorway back to the Space that Crossways was in.
The feeling is relief.
(Fei looks down at her younger sister and just smiles. There’s something about being the forgotten sister that leads to understanding things that others never have to consider.)