I’m still around. I just disconnected from social media for now. I’ll come back.
Thank you to my friend that have kept me sane and have been there for me. Thank you to those who have helped me.
A little update. I was a complete mess for from the end of November till Christmas. My family had enough of my constant crying and took me to the animal shelter to get a cat for Christmas.
I’m gonna admit I might not have been ready for new cat. But my sibling all came with me and they all loved one kitten so we took her home.
We called her Torta.
I still miss babycakes so much and I cry every time someone mentions him or he come back in my thoughts or if I’m looking at photos. He is my soul-cat and he choose me. It’s gonna take me a long time to feel okay.
Having around Torta did bring in some much needed energy back in my life. She is so playful. She loves me dad. She always needs to sleep next to or on someone. Is such a good girl though she can be naughty. She is what I needed.
This story is inspired by the amazing work of katydoodles, specifically this adorable drawing.
This would take post-Battle of the Miraculous. Luka knows that Marinette is under extreme stress (and knows why, although he’s keeping that to himself), so he decides to give her a relaxing, fun afternoon.
Luka asks Juleka to gather the girls together, though he doesn’t tell her why, just that it involves Marinette. He’s surprised at how quickly they all arrive at the houseboat, not realizing that they all think he’s trying to make a plan to ask Marinette on a date.
Rose is already squealing quietly into Juleka’s shoulder as they all settle into their seats and stare at him expectantly.
“It’s just so romantic,” Rose mumbles.
Juleka chuckles softly into the other girl’s blonde locks and whispers, “You think everything is romantic.”
Luka looks around at the assembled young women and gives them a smile. “Thank you all for getting here so fast. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Marinette has been really stressed lately, and I think she deserves some help. She’s always here for us, so let’s be there for her.”
A little embarrassed at making a speech, especially without his guitar in hand, he looks down at his shoes for a moment. The memory of Marinette crying into his shirt surfaces, though, and that gives him the strength to look back up.
“Not that I’m not supportive, but how is asking her out going to make her less stressed?” Alix asks bluntly.
“Because then she’ll have someone to lean on, and someone to love her and hold her and-”
“Whoa!” Luka bursts Rose’s romance bubble, turning redder and redder. “Who said anything about- that’s not- I didn’t gather you all here to talk about me asking Marinette out.” He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, ignoring the sighs of disappointment from around the room.
“Alix is right; that would just put something else on her plate, and she’s conflicted enough right now. At the moment, she needs her friends,” the teal-haired musician says firmly. He then turns his gaze to Alya. “What’s a book or movie that Marinette really likes? Maybe something she dressed up as for a party?”
Alya looked thoughtful for a moment. “I’m not sure where you’re going with this, but she loves those Lewis Carrol books, especially the first one. Alice in Wonderland, I think it’s called?”
Luka grins. “Perfect. Does she have a dress she’s made that would fit that?”
“What about that Little Bo Peep dress she made? That’s like Alice, only in pink!”
“Yeah, that should work,” the redhead agrees.
“So what’s the plan?” Alix asks. “Clearly you have one. Care to share with the rest of us? We’re Marinette’s friends, too.”
Luka smiles again. “We’re going to throw her an Alice in Wonderland-themed party.”
The girls meet this announcement with grins and the whipping out of phones. Even Alix, who would normally hate this sort of thing, is nodding. “Let’s give Marinette a party to remember!”
OooOooOooOooO
Several hours later, they have a basic plan in place and characters assigned. The location, one of the many park/gardens of Paris, has been chosen, and tasks have been allocated.
Rose has been put in charge of decorations, with Myléne to help rein her in. Obviously, none of them are as handy at designing and making clothes as Marinette, so they’ve decided to keep the costumes simple; Juleka, as the resident model, is given that task. Alix is to get Marinette to the party with the help of Myléne, while Alya is in charge of research. She, as the “best friend” also has the unenviable job of somehow convincing Marinette to wear her pink Bo Peep dress the day of the party without making her suspicious. Luka is, rather obviously, in charge of music, and he’s convinced Marinette’s parents to supply food and drink; that phone call had gone surprisingly well. He’s also in charge of transporting said food and drink.
As the meeting breaks up that evening and the visitors head to their various homes, everyone is excited and hopeful, ready to start on their tasks.
OooOooOooOooO
The day of the party dawns sunny and warm, and all of the final preparations are quickly finished. Luka ferries pastries, finger-foods, and tea from the Dupain-Cheng household to the garden while Alya video chats with Marinette to keep her safely out of the way. Rose sets up a lavish tea set and table for the goodies, along with plenty of decorations (not all in pink, thanks to Myléne). Juleka hands out costumes to everyone, and then it’s time to fetch the guest of honor, whom Alya has finally talked into showing off her adorable dress.
Alix skates to the bakery, her white rabbit ears flying behind her, and exchanges her prized skates for a pair of white sneakers before strolling inside. Tom and Sabine give her matching grins and call to Marinette that she has a visitor.
When Marinette appears at the bottom of the stairs and spots Alix in her waistcoat and bunny ears, she gives the girl a confused look. Alix just smiles and pulls out her prized pocket watch.
“You’re late for a very important date,” the skater informs Marinette. “No time to say hello, goodbye; you’re late, you’re late, you’re late.” She grabs Marinette by the hand and pulls her out of the bakery.
“Have fun, kids!” Tom calls as the door swings closed.
For a few minutes, Marinette allows herself to be dragged along in silence, too confused to protest. In fact, when she sees the fluffy white tail protruding from Alix’s white pants, she nearly trips over her own feet. Eventually, she gathers herself.
“Alix, what’s going on?” This barely affords her a glance.
“Don’t worry. You’ll see.” As Alix turns back around and starts tugging Marinette along again, Myléne comes around the corner ahead of them.
“But I have work I should be doing, and I’m sure my parents need help in the bakery, and there’s so little time, and I’m wearing this silly dress, and-”
“Now, now, don’t cry,” Myléne chastises gently as she joins them. “Wouldn’t want to create a sea of tears, now would we?”
Marinette’s head snaps around, and she takes in the shorter girl’s grey sweater, mouse ears, and drawn-on whiskers.
“The... doormouse?” Marinette mumbles quietly. “And... the white rabbit?”
“Very good, Alice. But don’t get too far ahead of us,” Myléne adds with a grin. Marinette looks down at herself and reassesses her dress, putting a few more pieces together in her mind. She nods decisively and speeds up to walk between her friends instead of being pulled behind.
As the group turns another corner, they are met with the entrance to a garden. The gate is open, but placed into the gap is a small door. Marinette grins and kneels down to open it. She crawls through and gasps as she looks up on the other side.
Rose has truly outdone herself with the decorations, turning the garden into a magical forest fit to be called Wonderland. There are flowers everywhere, shimmering cloths draped through the trees, ceramic mushrooms dotting the ground, and a large table set up in the center. As Marinette spins around, taking it all in, Rose pops up next to her with a huge, well, Cheshire grin.
“Welcome to Wonderland, Marinette!” Rose squeals. The stripes on her face are beginning to warp with the size of her smile, and she bats at one of her cat ears with a gloved hand, showing off the paw pads felted to the underside.
“Glad to see I convinced you to wear that dress,” Alya comments as she swishes over, her red and black skirts flowing around her and her crown shining in the sunlight. Her heart-painted lips pucker in a smirk. “Fancy a game of croquet?”
She swings a plastic lawn flamingo down from her shoulder and offers it to Marinette. “I guess since you’re my best friend, I can pass on the beheading part.”
“Heads are made for wearing hats, not for rolling,” comes a shy voice. Juleka steps out of the shadows and sweeps her overlarge top hat off of her head as she bows.
Marinette’s eyes begin to fill with tears. “I can’t believe you guys did all this for me! This is... amazing! Thank you all so much!” She gathers her friends into a group hug.
As they pull apart, Myléne smiles. “Well, it wasn’t all us...” she points out. When Marinette shoots her a confused look, she steps back and gestures toward the tea table. Blue meets blue as Marinette turns to face Luka, who is stepping towards her with a soft grin.
“Why, hello, Alice. Or Marinette, if I may.” His large rabbit ears flop forward slightly as he takes her hand and leans down to give it a kiss. “The March Hare, at your service. Would you care for a spot of tea?”
Marinette, still blushing, giggles and nods. Luka leads her to the table and pulls out a chair for her. Seeing the spread of desserts, finger sandwiches, and a beautiful tea pot with steam drifting from the spout, she tears up again.
“You guys really didn’t have to do all this.”
“We know, but we did, so sit down and enjoy,” Alix responds firmly.
“Besides, your parents helped,” Alya points out. The others all chorus agreements and encouragements, and Marinette somehow finds herself settled into a chair with a cup of tea in front of her. The others all settle around her and begin passing around the food with smiles and laughter. Luka’s fingers brush Marinette’s as he hands her a cucumber sandwich, and she nearly drops it at the tingle that runs the whole way up her arm. That tingle spreads and becomes butterflies in her stomach when Rose mentions that this party was all Luka’s idea.
OooOooOooOooO
Several “clean cup, move down”s, a lot of tasty snacks, and a very strange game of croquet later, Luka rises. He pulls out his phone and presses a few buttons, causing music to begin playing from hidden speakers.
“Would you like to dance, Marinette?” He asks softly. A muffled squeak is the first response he receives, but she puts her hand in his nonetheless. As he leads her to a grassy area and begins to sway with her, he looks down into her eyes.
“You look beautiful, you know. And your heart sounds so much lighter.”
“Thank you, Luka. For all of this. I still can’t believe you guys did all this for me.”
“You’ve been so stressed, Marinette. We’re your friends, and we wanted to be here for you. You needed a break and some fun.” At this, Luka twirls Marinette out, showcasing the loveliness of her dress and making her giggle again. He pulls her back into a dip and swings her upright smoothly. As they lock gazes, the song comes to an end, to be replaced by “I Love Unicorns” by Kitty Section.
This jolts a laugh from Marinette, who had been lost in Luka’s eyes until then. He lets her go, and she is immediately swept up by her friends into a silly jumping dance. Luka smiles at her joy for a moment before joining in with dramatic air guitar.
They all dance and laugh and play the afternoon away together, Jagged Stone melding with songs from the various movies and shows based on Alice’s Adventures in Wonderful, along with songs from Kitty Section. Soon, everyone’s sides hurt from dancing and laughing so much, and Marinette feels happier and more at peace than she has in a long time. If that feeling amplifies every time she looks at Luka, well, that’s her own business.
The last song on the playlist is a recording of Luka playing Marinette’s song, and as soon as it begins, she shyly asks him to dance.
“Of course, Alice. This Hare is always at your service.” He bows over her hand. Marinette tugs one of his ears in response, startling a chuckle out of him. As Luka and Marinette wrap their arms around each other, Juleka attempts to stifle the squee emerging from Rose. Alya takes numerous photos of the pair as they sway together, and none of the girls can deny how sweet this moment is.
As the end of the song approaches, Marinette lifts her head from Luka’s chest to look him in the eye. “Thank you, Luka. I really needed this. I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun, and everything has been so hard lately. Just... thank you.”
“Anytime, Marinette. I’m always here for you.”
“I know, Luka. You’re sweet that way.” After another moment, she nods to herself decisively and tugs on the back of Luka’s neck to bring him closer. He bends obligingly, and she whispers in his ear. “I want to thank you properly.”
“Marinette, you don’t have t-”
The rest of his words are lost as she kisses him. Her nerves are evident, as is his surprise, but they both soon melt into the chaste kiss.
“Thank you, Luka,” she whispers when they pull apart.
“Do we all get one of those?” Alix calls. The pair blushes, but eventually, everyone laughs, and Marinette’s heart soars. For the moment, all stress is forgotten, thanks to her friends.
New Year, New Meet the Artist. Featuring my cat, Babycakes.
I always draw myself in what ever clothes I am in when I draw these, and what ever mood I am in. Last year i was in a weird sad funk. I always battle a lot with my anxiety/depression but this year when I drew this I was in a good mood! I really feel like my brain chemicals are finally mellowing out.
Word Vomit Post- Life in the USA and Diasporic Feelings
Coming back from summer holiday in Mexico, to go back to work sucks.
The life style is just so different. I hadn't visited my maternal extended family in 8 years and it has been 12 years since I've seen 3/4ths of my paternal extended family. I have 34 cousins on my paternal side and 47 cousins on my maternal side and I'm on the younger side of both sides. My mom is the 9th child of 12 (who survived infancy) and my dad is 6th child of 10 (who survived infancy). Feeling that sense of familiar belonging and knowing where my family is from is such a fulfilling feeling I never appreciated as a kid. I kinda made it my goal to learn as much as I could about my family before my last grandparent passes. He turned 90 and I felt such immense guilt for not seeing any of my grandparents before they passed.
I told myself I was never going to go back to Mexico after a bad experience/ traumatically public anxiety attack in 2015.
I didn't think I would miss being in Mexico.
The life style there is so much more, in lack of better words, Alive. Towns are colorful, odd shapes, people own/build their homes and expand them, to fit with their surrounding nature. No matter how much people lack in the small rural mountain towns, there is a community and belonging everywhere. In the street corners every evening neighbors sit out and greet each other. Go on walks in the paths, farm, take care of their land, harvest their crops, listen to the rain fall, feel the lightning electrify the air and jump when the thunder cracks the sound barrier. Though my family is from a rural mountain area, modern living did not skip them, and yet I still feel like their life style was not taken over by technology (probably cuz the rural mountain villages have so many power outages in the rainy season).
The only other time felt like I belonged when I was in my childhood home in California's Bay Area, before they gentrified my area and kicked out all the low income families, so that all the tech companies could control everyone's lives. Even living now in the Midwest, I never see anyone walking on the street, life revolves around working and mowing your lawn so that your neighbors don't judge you. I don't see kids riding their bikes or outside, everything is so far apart from each other (2 hours in each direction to get to a city where I can even find a Barn's and Noble, a book store or even to buy Boba milk tea). I have never meet so many people who go to the Walmart parking lot to kill time.
Maybe I'm just older now and don't understand the mid-west lifestyle. Maybe I'm missing the belonging I felt from my paternal side of the family in California. Maybe its my anxiety that makes me feel like I don't belong with my maternal family (tho I've tried to connect, and every time I do I always feel that feeling of failing to connect). Maybe its all just my anxiety and can't be content in finding the little things where I am.
I have never felt that feeling of failing to connect with my paternal and maternal family in Mexico... They all know I'm odd and they have never made me feel judged or like I don't belong.
Though I may not fit in in Mexico, I still feel like I belong there.
I was cleaning my garage yesterday and I did a little photoshoot. This looked so much like a pop-indie album cover I couldn’t stop laughing 😆 . The album name would be Mid-Century Modern Garage Sale, I wish I could sing and produce music, this would be so random to drop an album out of no where.
I don’t think I’ve ever shown my self before on tumblr…
