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'I miss you'

Pairing: Arthur MorganxFem!UnnamedCharacter (no descriptions of any kind) Summary: a year has passed since he left, and she's spent every minute of it in a blur, until she finds the nerve to finally visit him in his final resting place Warnings: ANGST, hurt, reflections of loss, partner death, just pure heart-wrenching sadness Words: 922 A/N: I was inspired to write this after I came close to Arthur's grave while moose hunting. I still haven't gone up to it myself in-game, but it made me think about the courage it would take to make that trek. I definitely cried writing this and I apologize if you cry reading it...

The trip to the mountains was long. Taking many more days than it should. But she needed it. The extra time to make sense of what she was doing.

John offered to come along, but she was steadfast, "This is something I have to do on my own." She would repeat each time he insisted. If someone else were there it would feel all the more suffocating. Besides, how could she do what she needed if someone was mere feet away?

It had been a year. A year since her whole world was ripped from her.

She had slipped into his life, entirely by accident. Chance had taken control and dropped her directly in his path… then fate took it from there. Their friendship was easy, natural even. Mornings spent sharing coffee, afternoons taken over by riding, or hours of target practice because he just could not believe she was really that bad at hitting cans.

It was like they moved in sync. Always unconsciously looking for where the other was. And if one could not immediately see the other? They still knew where each other were based entirely on feelings. Months passed this way. With neither one the wiser to the tempest of emotions threatening to erupt from within.

Once those feelings burst… nothing could stop it. For the first time in either of their lives they felt whole. Years of being alone, accepting their respective losses, and learning to live as ghosts just did not matter anymore. She saw him as more than he ever conceived himself as being. That gave him confidence. It made him more dangerous to those who sought to control him. He saw her as the purest of light—guiding him towards a life they both so desperately needed. The driving force for him to believe that there are better ways.

And then he got sick… And the family he had grown up in, that he had brought her into, fell apart. His father, tearing it all down in one fell swoop of greed, ego, and cowardice.

Right before he disappeared into the night, he held her as close as he willed to. She wept, and wept, and begged him to stay. But he knew what he had to do to protect what was left and ensure that those he loved could create that life he had begun to believe in, even if he would not get to see it.

Off he went… back to Beavers Hollow.

The last image of him that graced her eyes was him riding, bathed in that golden evening light. Doing something that often brought him joy even if this last destination was disastrous.

That is how she wanted her memories to remain.

Until Charles found her and told her of where he rests.

So there she stood among the perfect mountains and trees, at the base of the path that would lead her to the end. The crisp breeze ruffling her hair, brushing her skirts about her legs. The fabric catching as she walked, almost beckoning her to stop. Deep down she wished she would just turn back. Leave the dead where they lie and keep that image of him forever safe in her mind. But she owed it. Not only to herself, but to him. Even if he was not there anymore… not really anyway.

The path continued up. It was rough and steep, and it would have been impossible to find if Charles were not so detailed in his description. It twisted about, a veritable maze of loose rocks, scraggly grass, and a mix of wildflowers. But then it opened into a small flat ledge. A little landing that would have been utterly impossible to see from the road, or from any of the nearby hills and rocks. Concealed and quiet… just what he needed.

Then there it was. A solitary grave, placed on the far side of the ledge, the marker planted firmly in the ground against a rock. Orange flowers covered the base, and the breeze, stronger at this elevation, carried the sweet subtle aroma about. A delicate reprieve from the weight of it all.

And then she saw the name. His name. Encased in an epitaph: "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness."

Her breath caught… her heart had weaseled its way up into her throat, nearly choking her, yet it still beat in a relentless pounding, like waves hammering at a beach with no end in sight. A numbness spread through her veins as she felt a hollow pit form right in her center.

She carefully approached him. Fighting every single nerve that tugged her to the earth, willing her to fall to her knees. But she stood. Resolute. Strong as he had shown her to be. Her eyes welled and she bit her tongue as her mind raced—struggling to focus on one singular thing.

She half expected the world to go silent. For the earth to freeze, enveloped in the very same spasms of pain she had endured, reflecting the way time had felt for her for the last three hundred and sixty-five days. But it didn't. The birds kept chirping, the wind shuffled the leaves, and whistled in the valleys. The earth still moved. Time kept ticking. She kept breathing. And here he was…

"I miss you…" she whispers.

The fragile tone of her voice carrying off into the air. Permeating the universe, echoing back and forth, and finally settling in that far off plane where he waited for her.

A/N pt2: again... I am so sorry but I had to get this out of my head😭

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