#kayneblackfire

[zylarixcolfire]

Counting Thing?

So Kayne wanted me to do this counting thing...seems stupid but why not.

1 Insecurity

Insecurity? Seriously? God...

Cooking. I’m insecure about cooking. I like to cook and I can do so but I don’t want anyone to try my cooking...what if they say its bad?

2 Fears

No one will see this...Right?

Losing my family. Kayne and the Black Garden count right? They can’t die on me. Every other family has been slaughtered so they can’t face the same fate.

Being weak and powerless. Something about losing all my ability leaving me unable to protect the ones I care about is terrifying.

3 Turn Ons

Kayne wants me to write about my turn ons? What the hell is he thinking...

Intelligence. It’s so nice to have good conversation.

Funny. If you can make me laugh without meaning to your in my good books.

Kindness. People that can be kind are always a turn on because I need someone to balance my cruelty.

4 Life Goals

Well....this could be interesting.

Avenging my Family’s deaths. Done

I guess opening up more. I always seem to hold people at a distance.

Making my Mercenaries the most well known and best trained crew in the world.

Keeping Kayne safe. He’s my closest friend and if anything happened to him I would kill him.

5 Thing That Make Me Happy

This should be easy.

Family/Friends

Power

Money

A good book.

A great puzzle. Something that really makes me think.

6 Weaknesses

Weaknesses? Hmmm....

My magic is weaker now. That counts right?

My Pride. I let it get in the way more then I should.

Blood lust for Garleans. They killed my family.

I get too attached to people which leads me to making stupid decisions.

Booze. I drink way too much.

I can’t fish. Like I really really suck at it.

7 People/Things I Love

Finally a good list.

Kayne Blackfire. My closest friend and the best person I know.

The Black Garden. Such a good group. Although they are more like an Army now.

Magic. Can’t really add to that.

Puzzles. I love them. I can’t get enough of them.

Cooking. I know right? I love it and am insecure about it.

Reading. Don’t have anything else to say here.

The Rocinante. Flying around in that Airship makes me smile. -Z

[zylarixcolfire]

Ishgard

So...the Ishgardians repaired my Aether gear I used when I was a Black Mage. It’s surprising because I didn’t think they would be able to, but I was glad to be wrong in this case. My assassin gear doesn’t feel nearly as good as these clothes. I’ll still have to wear my assassin gear out on missions though...Maybe. Who knows when I will reveal to the Black Garden that I have regained my abilities back......I’m rambling again. What was I going to talk about again? Oh Ishgard! Right. Kayne hates this place, I don’t feel comfortable here either but at least I walk in without wanting to kill someone. Something about that giant Cathedral creeps me out. This place will always feel cold and dead to me. The Black Garden are doing missions here much to my displeasure but when I signed on I knew I would end up doing pretty much anything they asked. Mercenary work you know.......It’s weird because what was just a job got me attached far more to the Black Garden then I would have ever thought possible but more on that another time. I need to head out to the airship get settled back in. -Z

[zylarixcolfire]

The start of this Diary thing...

Well, here I am writing this Diary. I don’t really even know what to put in here. Random musings? Tales of the past? It just seems like a way to blow of steam I guess. However Kayne said I should give it a try....a moon ago or more. Might as well try to appease the big guy, he’s probably going to be mad at me the next time he sees me. I’ve been gone for so long from everything. Learning all I can from various tribes about Thaumaturgy and fighting styles. I have finally regained my magic, it’s not as strong as it was before but at least I have it again. So much I need to do when I return.....I wonder if Kayne will be upset when he finds out I do come back to assist on the Black Garden missions. After all a girl has got to make a living somehow. My Mercenaries must miss me by now but I left them with enough jobs to keep them busy for a while, I bet that Hienki has not let them slack since I’ve been gone but it had to happen. Time to head back I think. I miss Kayne and the rest of them...I’ll never tell them that though. That’s our little secret. P.S After rereading what I wrote I realize I just rambled on and on. This could become a bad habit. -Z