#kaz-hellmaster-miller

[kaz-hellmaster-miller]

“...I decline to answer.”

[kaz-hellmaster-miller]

[Kazuhira Miller deserves every bad thing that happens to him LMAO. OK I jest. That’s a little harsh. But he’s still a piece of garbage.

Dumb little comic I drew of my Kaz muse hitting on future lady-friend, Brownwidowspider - this is probably the first time that they meet. Way to make a good impression, Kaz.

I don’t care what anyone says. Judging by some of the interactions that Kaz has with Cécile, I am of the opinion that Miller knows jack shit about actually talking to women. His pretty face and handsome blue eyes are what get him laid half of the time. He’s no where near as smooth as he thinks he is. GO AHEAD AND FIGHT ME.

This is stupid please ignore my sense of humor. I’ve been giggling over this all night.

I was too lazy to draw the Diamond Dogs logo on Kaz’s hat. oops.]

[nambu-art]

Here you guys go, Have some METAL GEAR SOLID sprites! I made these for myself, my boyfriend, and one of my very best friends on Tumblr.

NOBODY ELSE HAS PERMISSION TO USE THESE SPRITES! DO NOT TAKE THEM OR CLAIM THEM AS YOUR OWN. PLEASE AND THANK YOU!

- Big Boss sprite is for my boyfriend, evios / nakedsnakeboss

- Kazuhira sprite is for me, irishime / kaz-hellmaster-miller

- Ocelot sprites are for thatrussiancowboy

Cowboy only asked for the version of Ocelot with his jacket, but I couldn't resist doing the hand pose without as well. Super proud of these little guys. I spent a lot of hours on them. @_@;

I’ll have to do a TPP BB and Kaz later... OTL

[kaz-hellmaster-miller]

30 Days Chara. Development Meme: DAY 4

4.) How vain is your character? Do they find themselves attractive? 

An easy one for Sunday!

Obviously you've never heard the phrase "vanity thy name is Kazuhira Miller". Kaz is an extremely vain person, he's attractive and he knows it. He's extremely manipulative in that he's willing to looks to his advantage all the time to get into ladies panties. Kaz is very proud of his looks and spends copious amounts of time primping. He also often criticizes others often for their appearance -  sometimes without even realizing that he's doing it. He's probably exceptionally proud of the fact that he remained young and handsome-looking throughout his entire life. Vanity/pride is one of Miller's greatest weaknesses.

[kaz-hellmaster-miller]

30 Days Chara. Development Meme: DAY 3

3.) Name one scar your character has, and tell us where it came from. If they don’t have any, is there a reason?

Scars, ah? Well. TPP Kaz definitely has some scars - of the physical, emotional, and psychological varieties!

Physical Scars - Kaz lost his right arm and left leg while leading a unit in Afghanistan. There’s also a various degree of scars littering his face, the only evidence of the chopper blades, after the incident post-Camp Omega.

Emotional & Psychological Scars - Pretty hard to go through what Kaz has been through and not wind up with some pretty heavy psychological/emotional scarring. The contrast between MGS:PW Kaz and MGSV:TPP Kaz's persona is a night and-day-difference. TPP Kaz has put up walls and barricades - he's completely distrusting of anyone, or anything, except for Big Boss. There is no doubt in my mind that he's suffering from PTSD. He's showing a lot of classic symptoms within trailers for the game - although a lot of other symptoms are also merely my own headcanons;

Flashbacks (reliving the trauma over and over, including physical symptoms like a racing heart or sweating)  -  ☑ [Kaz experiences flashbacks when all the right buttons are pushed. Often times this is probably Ocelot's doing.]

Bad dreams  -  ☑ [Kaz frequently has nightmares recounting the experience.]

Frightening thoughts.  -  ☑

Staying away from places, events, or objects that are reminders of the experience  -  ☑ [Though Kaz he doesn't have to worry about places/events/objects so much, the med bay probably makes him uncomfortable to be around. This symptom is simply known as 'avoidance' and Kaz definitely has subjects/things he would avoid.]

Feeling emotionally numb  -  ☑

Feeling strong guilt, depression, or worry  -  ☑ [Kaz is likely struggling a lot with all 3 of these, but namely the depression. IMO he's probably wrestling with suicidal thoughts and tendencies durring TPP.]

Losing interest in activities that were enjoyable in the past  -  ☑ [double check for this. the PTSD plays a large factor in why TPP Kaz muse is no longer such a skirt-chasing man-whore.]

Having trouble remembering the dangerous event.  -  ☒ [the only symptom that doesn't apply. Kaz would remember things quite clearly].

Being easily startled  -  ☑

Feeling tense or “on edge”  -  ☑

Having difficulty sleeping  -  ☑

Angry outbursts  -  ☑ [double check for this as well - Kaz could be surly and temperamental before, but I think that at times even BB might be a bit taken aback by the fierceness of some of Kazuhira's rage during TPP.]

Beyond that, Kaz is suffering from phantom limb syndrome as well (same as BB, I gather). Phantom limb syndrome: "the perception of sensations, including pain, in a limb that has been amputated. People with this condition experience feelings in the limb as if it were still attached to  their body."

During one of the trailers we get confirmation that Kaz can still feel his missing limbs. This would likely infer that he's experiencing some (if not all) of the following sensations:

Shooting, stabbing, piercing, or burning pain

Numbness, tickling, or cramping

Feeling as though the limb is still attached and functioning normally

Being able to sense an article (such as clothing or jewelry) - [since it's Kaz's right arm that was taken, I like to imagine he can still feel his wrist watch]

Eventually Kaz will by and large be able to work through the major parts of his PTSD, but some of it he would have carried to his grave. Kaz had a hard life, and he's a pretty scarred up character, both inside and out.

[kaz-hellmaster-miller]

30 Days Chara. Development Meme: DAY 1

1.) Describe your character’s relationship with their mother or their father, or both. Was it good? Bad? Were they spoiled rotten, ignored? Do they still get along now, or no?

Kazuhira has an interesting back history already written into the series for him: His mother was a prostitute, his father was a soldier, stationed in Japan during WWII. His father never loved his mother, but Miller Sr. was evidently enough of a gentleman that he treated her as a wife when he learned that she was with his child, and even left her a sum of money enough to start her own business so that she wouldn't have to rely on prostitution in order to get by.

This is all so fascinating to me, because it's a lot more complicated (and real) than a lot of character back-stories that get tossed around, and it leaves me with just as many questions as it does answers; was Miller (Sr.) married at the time?--we know he has a wife and a son back in the states who is a little older than Kaz, so my assumption is yes. Was the idea to use the money to entrepreneur a business Kazuhira's mother's idea, or was it his father's?--It is easy to assume maybe that's specifically what his father left the money for, if he really was a nice guy who was concerned about the future of his child. But on the same note, it's not like he ever tries to make contact again. Later in his life Kazuhira is the one who tracks him down. And his mother had to be smart enough to start up and run her own business. So maybe his father just gave her the money as a 'take care of yourself' kind of gesture, and Kaz's mom was the one who came up with the idea to start a convenience store. Frankly I wouldn't be surprised, since Kazuhira himself is very intelligent and quite the business person. It's quite possible he got a lot of his early business-knowledge from her.

That being said, I like to fill in holes all on my own.

As far as headcanons go: Kazuhira had a pretty plain childhood - in the sense that he and his mother were closer to to poor/impoverished end of the scale rather than middle/working-class. He learned from an early age both the worth of commerce and the value of an education. Likely his mother pushed him hard to study, since she wouldn't have wanted her son to waste the opportunities perhaps she did not have.

It is evident that he was teased a lot growing up (half-Japanese always are, for their looks); canon confirms that he was "...mock[ed] for his Western appearance...", but this is probably closer to being 'ostracized' than simply just being teased. I'd also like to believe that he was called a whore's son a lot, which, knowing his temper, would have led Kaz to get into a lot of fights. Ultimately that's probably in-part where his 'fighting spirit' began, alongside the feelings that he didn't belong: being made "other" in his own country...

That being said: since Kazuhira has no siblings through his mother, and she never married, it's safe to assume they probably had a very close relationship. He would have done his best to take care of her - this is evidenced by the fact that when he was just ten years old he quit school in order to run the shop himself, when his mother became sick. Then he finds a photo of his father, manages to hunt down a name and location by harassing American soldiers who frequented their shop, and writes his father a request to travel to America for a better education--presumably in order to support his mother better, since she remained ill. At some point that request was granted, but exactly how old he was when he left Japan is unknown - the next solid date we get for him is after he's returned home (in 1970), when he was 24. What is known is that Miller Senior was able to put him through an "ivy league school", which possibly entails a high school and college education. Which, frankly, is impressive since Kazuhira hadn't been to school since he was ten years old - he would have had an immense amount of playing catch-up to do. Not only this, but he was suddenly thrust into an entirely different country, where he would have been forced to learn English almost immediately.It probably cannot be overstated how hard he must have worked to do both at the same time.

Ultimately, I'm not sure how familiar he would have gotten with his father. Since sometime during his stay within the United States Kazuhira's dad lost his first-born son to the Vietnam war and was later divorced, I kind of doubt if Miller senior would have been especially interested in getting close to his half-Japanese bastard child. But, then again, on the other hand Kaz felt enough of a connection to the man (and his American heritage) to abandon his Japanese surname and adopt "Miller" as a last name for the rest of his life, so there had to have been at least something there. Part of me thinks that this was just longing for his father's approval, and another part of me thinks that this was a way to further distance himself from the country and the heritage that had never accepted him, no matter how much he obviously loves Japan.

After getting his degree he returns home, to find his mother's sickness had worsened, and that she had actually forgotten who he was altogether, due to a sexually transmitted disease that she'd contracted during her days as a prostitute. I can only imagine that Kaz was probably somewhat devastated, as he completely abandoned whatever life he had been making for himself in the states in order to pay for his mother's hospital bills. I'd like to believe that during his absence her family (perhaps a sister) had been taking care of her, and they'd simply never told Kazuhira, as he had 'abandoned her to live a cushy life in the states', even though I imagine (if he had been willing to give up his education since he was 10 to take care of her, then) whatever spare money he'd been making in the US he would have been sending to her as well.

Both of his parents then died rather abruptly, almost back-to-back. His father committed suicide (which no one bothered to tell him, since when he went back to the states the man was already buried), and the illness that had affected her mind so badly claimed his mother's life. With nothing left to tie him back to Japan, or America, Kaz then becomes a mercenary, a philanderer, and a wanderer with no real home.

Ultimately Kazuhira had a strong relationship with his mother, but he probably felt as though he had failed her in a lot of ways, and this is likely what affected Kaz's perception of love over-all. Not being able to properly support, protect, and take care of her, as well as the hole that her death would have left inside of him, leaves him unwilling to emotionally invest in relationships. Kaz loves sex because it's a physical connection to another human being, but the harsh reality of the circumstances into which he was born (a literal bastard and the son of a prostitute) makes him somewhat-resentful to the romanticized, novel version of 'love'.

His relationship with his father was complicated at best; treated more like an obligation than a real member of the family, his father obviously cared about him to some degree, but not enough to leave Kazuhira in any kind of will. This absence in his life is most definitely responsible for his drive to become involved with military and war. Kazuhira's other specialties include a knowledge of science, technology, and history, as well as a love of cooking. It's possible, nay probably, that science and technology were his name studies in the states, and yet he becomes a police officer first, and a mercenary second, before being essentially coerced into joining the MSF, where he immediately sets about showing Big Boss his usefulness and eventually becoming the military force's second-in-command. Kazuhira is relentless in his need to prove himself to somebody--anybody--who challenges his worth. This likely comes from having wanted to impress his father, craving that attention, but never fully realizing it before Colonel Miller took his own life. It's yet another void inside of Kaz that never quite gets filled. Instead he supplements by proving to everyone around him (and namely Big Boss), his worth and value. Sometimes this leads him to being overly cocksure and arrogant. That is because, ultimately, he doesn't want anyone to think him as vulnerable, weak, unintelligent, or of 'lesser value' in any way shape or form. Being a valuable commodity is extremely important to Kaz, as essentially all that he has in the world are his intelligence, his skill, his looks, and his pride.

As an aside:

Not necessarily relevant to the question asked, but since I am talking about his parents anyway, I figured I'd go into some headcanons about their names.

Now, mind, this is absolutely NOT canonically founded whatsoever, but rather I like to fill in blanks for myself, just for my own personal enjoyment. These are my conscious decisions, and not related to anything Konami or Kojima have put out there at all. Disclaimer aside;

I like to imagine that Kaz's mother's name is 愛佳 [Aika], which a fairly common Japanese name meaning "love + song". Their family name was 元 [Moto] meaning "base; source" or "origin". On the other hand, I picked a fairly common American name for his father: Kevin. The name Kevin means "kind, gentle, handsome"--which are definitely attributes his father might have possessed--but also, this way, we get to play around with a lot of clever name puns.

The route word of "Aika" being "Ai" [愛]--which is love--combine with Kevin meaning "kind/kindness" means that LOVE and KINDNESS gave birth to Kazuhira [カズヒラ; 和平] - PEACE.

It also means that Kazuhira's original Japanese name would have been 元・カズヒラ [Moto Kazuhira]; literally "Origin of Peace". This fits cleverly with the idea that his mother thought of his birth as a symbol of east making peace with west, and marked (what she hoped to be) a generation of peace. Sadly, of course, that wasn't so.

Later in life, Kazuhira sheds his "origin" and takes on the last name Miller. Miller means 'to run a mill' which is essentially 'to run a business'. From then on, the concept of "peace" becomes a "business". So you see, the name is fitting either way.

But hey, that last bit there is literally all me. I just really like clever word-play and toying with the meaning of names. ( ･᷄ㅂ･᷅ )ノ

[kaz-hellmaster-miller]

KAZ'S PLAYLIST MASTERPOST [will be updated as needed]

【カズスネ】 Kazusune themes: ◘ Dark Doo Wop - Ms Mr: http://youtu.be/x0iv8XRooDI (My main BBKaz theme. All of Kaz's feels for Boss. Sheer perfection.) ◘ Don't Cry - Murder By Death (Guns n' Roses Cover): http://youtu.be/BwJ64upEcjA (TPP BB to Kaz: BB after having rescued Kaz from Afghanistan) ◘ Devil's Backbone [Male Version] - The Civil Wars: http://youtu.be/IHl1H1VECS8 (Kaz contemplating to himself about the kind of man that he's fallen for) ◘ Snake Eater (Cover) - by Quei Due: http://youtu.be/lh4wCQHAW3A (I like to imagine this one as Kaz, himself, singing Snake Eater/playing acoustic guitar during karaoke night at the MSF) ◘ Bad Ramance (Cover) -  Frank Ocean: http://youtu.be/fAfpnl4mJoc (MGSPW Kaz lusting after Boss and wanting sex on the beach) ◘ Dark On Me - Starset: http://youtu.be/Deehepykaxw (Kaz noticing Big Boss becoming even more of a monster than he, himself, has already become; the beginning of the end for the two of them) ◘ Point of no Return - Starset: http://youtu.be/fMDuBrnp1H8 (Exactly as the title would imply: the point of no return for Kaz and BB) ◘ Elastic Heart - Sia: http://youtu.be/KWZGAExj-es (Kaz agonizing to himself in resignation over the fact that his relationship with BB is at it's end...) ◘ Call Me - Shinedown: http://youtu.be/PuDzAQriQP0 (Angst: Kaz lamenting over his relationship with BB falling apart)   ◘ Daughter - ALuxuriousRed (Still Cover): http://youtu.be/gnGr4uZ85_I (More angst: Kaz not wanting it to leave Boss' side, but needing to stick to his principles when BB finally takes it all too far...) ◘ War - Poets of the Fall: http://youtu.be/zP_ZAczJwmQ (Kaz to BB over their relationship as 'brothers on the battlefield': giving him strength, encouragement, and support.) ◘ Run - Snow Patrol: http://youtu.be/ZQbgihHWNGo (laments & unfulfilled promises) 【カズヒラ・ミラー】 General Kaz themes: ◘ Not your Kind of People - Garbage: http://youtu.be/zEClCAFjYHg (certain aspects remind me of Kaz's feelings over the events in GZ/TTP - especially in regards to Zero[Cypher]) ◘ Nuclear - Mike Oldfield: http://youtu.be/7XmDYJBZZdc (suits a lot of different characters, but the main line that hits home for Kaz is: "what a mess we made, when it all went wrong.") ◘ Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Lorde: http://youtu.be/VNFUgBHpDgY (Kaz's dreams of grandeur for the MSF/Diamond Dogs. Kind of BBKaz-ish also.) ◘ Centuries - Fall Out Boy: http://youtu.be/dZEnQogAd8U (Kaz's pride in himself, Boss, and the MSF/Diamond Dogs, all in one song: "some legends are told. some turn to dust or to gold. But you will remember me, remember me for centuries!") ◘ Castle of Glass - Linkin Park: http://youtu.be/RRGSHvlu9Ss (TTP Kaz: insecurities, largely surrounding Ocelot and how he will potentially become more useful to Big Boss than he can be anymore, with the missing arm and leg.)