Moon Rising
[I was sitting on the newly made bed for the incoming female set to arrive soon with Jane. I sat there thinking about all those years ago when I was laying in Bella’s bed after trying to let Rhage go after finding out I was re-diagnosed with cancer again. I knew it would be a hard road ahead and I didn’t want him to see it. I wanted him to remember me when I was happy and healthy and … alive. I knew I would lose my hair again to chemo … lose weight … I just couldn’t … let him see me this way.
But as he stood there looking at me … telling me he /wanted/ to be there for me. I sat there as I watched him walk out … and I thought about all the days ahead me. I told him that I needed those memories to be my happy place … but /he/ is my happy place. I remember jumping from the bed, shooting through the door, down the stairs and right out the door. No shoes, no coat … tears falling down my face.
He stood there with open arms, I jumped into them and held on so tight. I knew when I cried … it was ugly but I didn’t care. I could feel the sobs take over my body in heaves that I could barely speak.]
“I’m not okay. Rhage … I’m not okay.”
[The sound of a car door slamming startled me out of my wool gathering. I hadn’t thought about that day in a long time. Lately though as the days seem to pass more and more … those first moments of our lives together have been making appearances … like a walk down memory lane. I made my way downstairs to meet Jane and the female and tried to focus on the present. I had plenty of time during the day, alone in my room at the #GreatCamp, to relive those memories. This time … without my Rhage.]