First Annual Tres Spades Jello Wrestling Tournament - Part One
In an alternate pathway of ‘Choosing Sides’, where Miho decided to join, or rather cleverly manipulated her way into, the auction manager’s group, a stir rippled through the Tres Spades.
A big fuckin’ ripple.
“What the hell is this?” Eisuke scowled, stalking into the penthouse lounge where Miho and Baba sat shoulder to shoulder watching something on her phone.
“Something wrong?” Miho questioned, though as much was obvious, and Eisuke narrowed his eyes on her.
“This is your doing, isn’t it, Fujiwara,” he growled rhetorically.
“Ichinomiya,” she sighed dramatically, handing her phone off to Baba and spreading her hands in an innocent shrug. “What are you talking about?”
“This,” he grunted, shoving a piece of paper at her.
But Miho already knew what was on it.
Absently she scanned the document, suppressing the urge to gloat.
And oooh she wanted to gloat.
Gloat like the wind.
“This is your signature,” she pointed out, turning it around and holding it up.
“I did NOT approve this,” he snapped, glaring at her. “How did you do it?” he hissed, placing one hand against the sofa arm and leaning toward her.
Baba snatched the piece of paper meanwhile, as Miho continued to smile ever so sweetly.
“A jello wrestling tournament,” he read aloud, looking from the sheet to the confronting pair.
“Absolutely not,” Eisuke declared, an immutable statement breathed into Miho’s face.
“I don’t think you realise how lucrative this event will be,” Miho told him with infuriating calm, reaching up to smooth her hands down Eisuke’s lapel.
Eisuke seized her wrists.
“I’m cancelling it,” he asserted.
“We’re hosting a jello wrestling tournament?” Ota queried with great interest, walking in looking at his phone, while Baba lowered Miho’s with a satisfied grin, “because I endorse this, especially if Miho is competing.”
“Nope,” she responded, rocking to her feet, forcing Eisuke back a step though his hold remained. “This is for women.”
“So, men in loin cloths covered in slime?” Baba queried.
“Not. Happening,” Eisuke avowed, still glowering at Miho, who seemed relaxed, even in Eisuke’s grip.
“Men in loin cloths covered in slime, cheered on by hundreds of wealthy women throwing stupid amounts of money away – a large percentage of which comes directly to us.”
“You mean me,” Eisuke corrected curtly, and Miho grinned.
“I knew you’d come around,” she beamed, pressing her forearms against Eisuke’s chest and leaning some of her weight into him.
“Wow, Boss,” Baba grinned. “Hundreds of screaming women doesn’t sound so bad.”
“Tickets sold out in twenty minutes,” Miho declared, rising upon her tip-toes a little to bring her eyes in line with Eisuke’s. “And any woman willing to spend upwards of 15k on jello, has plenty of splurging potential.”
A low sound grated through Eisuke’s lips. To concede was to admit defeat, and he still didn’t know how she had managed to get this by him, with his signature, and keep it under wraps so long.
In frustration, his grip on her wrists tightened, but Miho simply turned her head a little and bowed it to the side of his face.
“Please, don’t pull out… Eisuke,” she breathed into his ear, and she was pleased with the slight increase in the tension of his muscles, the clench of which she could feel through his clothing. “And if disappointing me isn’t enough to convince you, just think of all those rich women: wives to rich and powerful men bereft because you cancelled their night of harmless fun.”
Ota and Baba had fallen silent - they watched the interaction with keen interest and amusement.
“You will tell me, how you did this,” he proclaimed abandoning one wrist to take her chin firmly.
“Of course I will,” she whispered, just shy of brushing his lips with hers, before she lowered herself back to the flat of her feet and stepped away.
He’d release her, or she would drag him. To let go was to admit defeat, but to be dragged was even worse.
Eisuke let go.
“My office, right now,” he instructed icily before heading to the stairs.
“If you need help punishing her Eisuke…” Ota began, but stalled when Miho shot him a sharp and unimpressed look. “Jeez. How come I’m the only one she looks at like that?”
“Maybe, because you’re short?” Baba offered, snickering - but Ota scoffed.
“Not where it counts,” he volleyed, and Miho let out a disgusted huff before following Eisuke upstairs.
Continue to Part Two... Soon!
-snickerfits- So much for being too busy with work to write!
56. “Are You Drunk?” -Eisuke Ichinomiya (...and the bidders) (H)
For @leoamber66 and @butternougat #56. Based it off a headcanon i did.
I hated the substory where eisuke pretends to be drunk (it was cute), but he never lets his guard down! Perhaps there is a reason he never let’s it down. Here’s my take and its CRACK AS FUCK. SO DONT EVEN THINK FOR A SECOND THIS IS QUALITY WRITING!
thank you for the request, it really takes me back to crack writing and how much I love it.
…
“So, you’ve never seen Boss drunk, ________?” Baba asks, stirring his coffee thoughtfully.
“No, but I’d love to. He’s very careful when he drinks, and aside from that, he also can knock back his share.” _____ shrugs, sighing sadly as she leans back onto the lounge sofa.
“I say we throw a party at the hotel bar and get him slammed!” Ota shouts, pumping his fists into the air, “He can’t be as bad as Soryu drunk.”
“Mention it and I’ll make sure to shoot your dick off.” Soryu mumbles through his cup as he scrolls his phone.
“What’s Soryu like?” ____ whispers.
“EXTREMELY emot- OW!” Baba cowers forward as Soryu thunks the handle of his pistol onto his noggin.
“It’s almost Baba’s birthday, so let’s just use that as an excuse!” Ota suggests, ignoring Baba’s cries for help.
“Wow, why not just a real birthday party!”
“...’cuz you’re not THAT important.” Mamoru chimes in.
Baba pouts as the bidders carefully plan their strategy of attack with a reluctant Soryu.
“He’s a lot smarter than you guys are giving him credit for, didn’t this fail last time? He pretended to be drunk and _____ got in trouble.” Soryu points out, sipping his tea with a raised eyebrow.
“We have a new strategy.” Ota grins, “We all REALLY get drunk. We’ll just record it.”
“This sounds like it will be chaos.” _____ whispers.
……………..
“Kanpai!” The bidders clink their shot glasses together, knocking back the tequila while watching Eisuke with a spying eye.
“So far, 6 shots and no one has been eliminated!” Ota slurs
“____, should you really be drinking that much?” Eisuke mumbles, watching her cheeks turn rosy from the alcohol.
“Aw, you told me you’ll really drink today…” _____ frowns, widening her eyes sorrowfully, “It won’t be too hard to keep up right?”
Eisuke sighs, unsure if he’s grown soft to her or just an idiot, but some how her puppy eyes always get him. He taps his glass on the bar counter signaling for a refill. Ota squints his eyes as he tries to focus on where he put his shot glass, wobbling slightly on the stool. He giggles loudly,
“HAHAHA SHE SAID ‘hard’. Tee hee.”
“Jesus christ, Ota is already drunk.” Soryu mumbles, yanking the glass from him and disqualifying Ota to the corner of the bar. Ota pulls out his phone, fumbling through his contacts as he dials random numbers.
“HEY, hehehehe, is, is your refrigerator run- HEY!” Ota gripes as Baba yanks his phone out of his hand.
“Last time you drunk dialed the cops, so I will just take this from you!”
The night rolls on, now hitting on 10 shots. Their throats burned as they waited impatiently for Eisuke to grow tipsy.
“Mamor- what the fuck. Mamoru is completely blacked out!” Baba laughs. Mamoru laid headfirst onto the counter, snoring loudly as the Baba and Soryu try to pry him off the stool.
“Dude, he’s so fucking heavy.” Soryu cries, “It’s like a parallel to life and how LIFE is SO painful. It’s like the pain I felt the one time I saw that abandoned cat down the alley. How sad it must be to be alone….”
Soryu’s eyes tear up, dropping Mamoru onto the floor on top of Baba as he wraps his arm around Eisuke’s shoulders, “Eisuke… My man… You’re honestly one of my best friends and it hurts me here,” pointing to his chest, “to know that you were alone for so long. I’m HERE for you bro. I’m HERE for you!”
Eisuke sighs, “Good god, I have no idea why you decided to get drunk knowing how you are.”
_____ begins to giggle, having been able to last long enough to see how the other bidders were. She clinks her shot glass onto the table, hoping that she could just catch one glimpse of Eisuke before passing out.
“You know, going vegan will help reduce climate change drastically? Most of our fresh water, vegetation, and land goes to raising livestock. The methane gas traps the carbon dioxide, causing the green house effect. The pollution they cause is almost more than all the fumes of transportation combined. I’m glad Tres Spades utilizes biodegradable bags, we should be trying to head towards the greenest Earth we can. You know that in quantum mechanics…” Baba begins to spout off conversation as _____ squints her eyes thoughtfully, trying to keep her head from spinning.
“You’re much deeper than I thought, Baba.” Eisuke grins smugly, “too bad you’re not as intelligent when you’re not drunk.”
Baba grows quiet, laying his head down, and begins to have an existential crisis next to Soryu who was sobbing about his poor cooking skills.
“Guysssss, can I get out of time out yettttt.” Ota pleads from the corner, “I wanna danceeeee.”
“Guess you’re not going to get drunk,” _____ mumbles, laying her head onto Eisuke’s shoulders and closing her eyes softly. “It’s okay, I guess I don’t need to. I like you for you anyways.”
“Tch. So this was another convoluted plan to get me drunk.” He sighs
“Hehe, or just an excuse for them to get drunk. Whatever, I like getting in trouble with you anyways.” She nudges him playfully, hinting at her naughty one.
“I should get you drunk more often if it means you’re so honest.” Eisuke smiles into his shot glass, “I’m not an idiot to get drunk, but if it means it’ll make you happy. One time. That’s it.”
He waves at the bartender, closing the bar and begins to slam shot, after shot. His eyes grow weary as he could feel the effects of the alcohol consuming him.
“____, did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?” Soryu bawls, “So beautiful that it brings me to tears!”
“.....”
“You’re fucking FIRED.” Eisuke slurs, pointing at Soryu with an accusing finger.
“Uh…” ____ turns around, wondering if she was really that drunk to begin hallucinating.
The bartender glances at _____ perplexed at whether he should remove the gun from Soryu.
“YOU TOO BARTENDER. THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU DOING STARING AT HER!” Eisuke shouts, slamming the glass onto the counter loudly.
“Uh………………….. Are you drunk!?” ______ begins to panic, trying to calm Eisuke down as Baba abruptly gets up.
“I think you need a hug, boss.” He wraps his arms around Eisuke, “Did you know 15 second hugs raises your oxytocin levels?”
“Yup. Yup.” Eisuke grins goofily, embracing Baba tightly as they stood their awkwardly for 20 seconds, a 20 seconds too long, “Everyone in this hotel is fired though.”
“What.”
“I see how you guys stare at her! She’s mine! Mine!” Eisuke pulls hastily from Baba, grabbing ______ into his arms. He pulls his jacket open, encasing her head inside his jacket as he tries to button it with her inside.
“Eisuke, I can’t breathe.”
“NO I WILL BECOME THE AIR YOU BREATHE!” He shouts, holding her on the outside of his jacket.
“I’m too tired for this.” Baba mumbles, laying down in a nearby booth as he closes his eyes, falling asleep snuggly into the seat.
“Me tooooo.” Eisuke whines, releasing ____ from the jacket as he pats her lap, “I wanna lay right here. Where I feel at home.”
____ smiles, agreeing as she lays his head delicately down onto her lap. Her head was pounding, wanting to explode after so many drinks. _____ lays her forehead onto the counter, facing Eisuke who was looking up from her lap.
“You’re so beautiful, _____.” He smiles, “I wish that you knew how much you mean to me. I love you.”
……………..
“What. The. Fuck is this.” Eisuke stops brusquely as he wanders into the lounge. The bidders had the projector on with the security footage of the bar.
“HE HUGGED ME.” Baba shouts, “HE REALLY DID!”
The bidders watch in horror of their antics, until they stop where Eisuke lays onto ____’s lap.
“Woah woah woah woah, did Eisuke just whisper some sweet nothings to ____?” Ota rewinds the footage.
They turn around in shock, with _____ sipping her coffee nonchalantly. Eisuke turns abruptly to face _____, where she mocks his smirk.
“I will murder the lot of you if this gets out.” He grabs the projector, taking it with him as he proceeds to call Kenzaki for an industrial shredder.
____ leans against the wall, smiling to herself as she glances down at her phone and pauses the footage, “Guess he doesn’t understand how technology works.”
