justification: villain/rival being trans and resentful of the cis protagonist is a GOOD WHUMPY SEXY TROPE
like if lockie is a Fine Male Specimen or whatever and it just pisses mathias off so much bc he can’t ever emulate that… that sweet sweet irrational helpless loathing. of COURSE he hates lockie. he’s not just an outsider, he’s everything mathias wants to be, that he’s WORKED to be. he’s made such an effort to become strong and to cultivate his appearance, his reputation. lockie is big and tall and broad in a way that mathias just can’t physically be… deep-voiced, charming, somehow… everyone just likes him. it doesn’t feel fair.
and it sticks in his fucking craw that andromeda won’t marry him because he’s paranoid it’s down to that. that he’s not a proper man, somehow.
he just wants a chance. he can prove it, he can be a proper leader, a good husband. he can be that man, they don’t need lockie in this community — mathias has that role covered. he does!
just… imagine mathias thinking that kilda was a fresh start for him, he could finally be who he knew he was… and it still doesn’t feel like it was enough. feels like people still don’t see him as the man he wants to be, that he is.
closing statement: none of his resentment is rational, but he can’t stop. i think he and lockie should fuck about it. ideally up against a wall. thank you.