I’ve always imagined that Katsuki will grow to be a stoic man. I’ve always imagined that he will face a reckoning when he becomes a pro - when he loses for the first time. Like, really loses. When he’s fighting like a sonofabitch to save a kid from a building before it collapses. And he goes home after the fact, and it’s quiet. He’s alone.
There are no reporters or helicopters flying overhead. No one is screaming. There are no villains to blast into next week, no more paperwork to fill out, none of his annoying ass friends around to clap his shoulder with sad smiles on their faces and contrived one-liners about being strong and better luck next time.
There is only him. Alone. But not so quiet anymore.
He’s so hard on himself y’all. He starts in on the what if game, hearing his mother’s voice telling him, once again, how weak he is. Those old tapes playing on repeat “like it’s constantly on loop” inside of his head. He should’ve gotten there faster. He should’ve defeated the enemy sooner. He should’ve been able to hold that entire fucking building up all by himself.
That’s the monumental pressure he puts on himself, the impossibly high standard he holds himself to. Katsuki Bakugou, Perfectionist. He should have that shit trademarked and printed on business cards.
But as a hero, losing is something he has to learn to accept. And he does, in time.
He’s not omnipotent. Willful, yes. Dogged, yes. Obstinate and stubborn, gods help you, YES. But he’s not invincible.
He’s not going to win every single time. Everybody knows: you win some, you lose some.
Sooner rather than later, because he’s a quick learner, he makes peace with himself.
He heals and understands that his worth as a hero, his worth as a man is not contingent upon his ability or lack thereof to win every single battle. Rather, it’s in his resilience and his drive to keep fighting even if he fucking loses. To get right back up and take it like a man instead of beating himself up and engaging in the negative self-talk or letting his pride and ego determine his worth. To silence the old tapes and say, “You’re wrong, Ma.” Not with anger, but with matter-of-fact certitude and conviction because he’s right about this.
Katsuki - he wins the war.
He becomes a better man. Exercising patience and deep-breathing techniques is part of his strength training regimen now. He builds strength of character just as hard as he hits the weights.
This is the Katsuki I’m married to.
I can not accept the possibility that he’ll never be this man in canon. I staunchly refuse. He has the heart of a lion and the passion of a war god. Fuck canon. In my heart, he is indestructible. I love him endlessly and will never let him die. I’ll write him harder. I’ll go to war with my king and I’ll write him how he should be written because that’s what he fucking deserves.
