I don’t think Matthew is in love with Cordelia
hear me out. ever since his very traumatic experience with the fairy at the shadow market, Matthew has believed that he is undeserving of love. I think that’s why he “Falls in love” with people he can’t have. his thing with Lucie in ChoG wasn’t real, and if it ever was, it wasn’t anything more than a crush, and both of them knew it. I could be remembering wrong but I’m pretty sure when James brought it up Lucie dismissed it quickly as a childhood fancy. Lucie was a safe option because she was Matthew’s best friend’s little sister, and someone who would never see him as more than a brother figure. but as he grew up, he needed to move his affections to someone else. enter Kellington. Kellington was the perfect person to love if he wanted someone unattainable because a) he was a man, and b) he was a werewolf. the problem with Kellington was that he actually liked Matthew back, maybe even loved him, and that’s not what Matthew was looking for. finally we have Cordelia. she was the best choice; his best friend’s wife and a close friend of himself. he already loved her, and that made it easy to convince himself he was in love with her. and because he was “in love” with Cordelia, Matthew didn’t have to face his greatest fear and challenge; finding and creating a love with someone who loved him back. he’s very similar to Alec in that respect; picking someone easy to love so that he doesn’t have to look for love anywhere else and finally learn that he is deserving of love. up until now he has convinced himself that if anyone knew the truth they would turn their back on him so he isn’t in any fully requited relationship, platonic or romantic. I really hope he doesn’t get a love interest in ChoT and that he kind of just takes a step back and learns how to love himself first. I mean he is only 17 he doesn’t need a spouse yet
