[whineandcheese24]

welcome to my blog

Hi, I'm cheese, big fantasy nerd. I don't post regularly, but every so often a thought makes its way from my brain to my keyboard

[nattousan]

ok so, I approached my local library with a proposal to donate a mural as a way to A: build portfolio/gain practical experience and B: give back to a beloved public institution. The director was very enthusiastic about it and i've been working on it since the beginning of March. Come with me as I endeavor to paint what is in all honesty an excessive amount of birds

I wanted the birds to look like they were actually in the space so first thing after doing the draft was to do a lighting study

after that I covered the walls in letters in lieu of a projector/vr headset bc i have neither of those :) Then i take a picture of the section of wall and superimpose the lineart over top of it so I can pencil in the lines

et voila

and that was a whole week on it's own so next comes the paintin' >:)

[nattousan]

and now, the birds

Birds 1 and 2/14: Red Winged Blackbird, Male and female, Agelaius phoeniceus

[nattousan]

Bird 3/14, American Robin, Turdus migratorius

[nattousan]

hoo boy, ok *out of breath*

GIVE IT UP FOR BIRD NUMBUH 5, THE CANADIAN GOOSE, Branta canadensis!!!!

this guy took me about 4 days to completely finish, all of those freakingk coverts were a bear to render

[nattousan]

speaking of obnoxious coverts:

bird 5/14, Bluejay, Cyanocitta cristata

the friggin stripes almost got me chat, i may not make it

[nattousan]

Madam....

[nattousan]

birds 6 and 7: American Goldfinch, Spinus tristis, male and female

pleasantly simple to paint! next is the flickerrrrr

[nattousan]

*melts into goo*

BIRD NUMBER 8, (yellow shafted) NORTHERN FLICKERRRRR, Colaptes auratus

genuinely made me start questioning my sanity around day 3, it's half the size the of the goose, WHY did it take me 4 days to finish??

nothing but pain and suffering, i'm sure hope the next bird will be much easier and with FAR less barring :)

[nattousan]

in other news, I am losing my mind hairline

[nattousan]

SHE'S DONE!!

Bird number 9: Red-tailed hawk, Buteo jamaicensis

my chains are broken i am FREE. although i did have a great deal of fun with this, the barring on the wings itself took me like four days and i am READY to move on

this was a week and a half of continuous work so please excuse me for getting a little emotional in the bg 🙏

[nattousan]

*does a little jig*

BIRD NUMBER 10!!! The Male Mallard Duck, Anas platyrhynchos

the male and female ones are gonna be posted separately bc they're taking a lot longer lol but yea! super happy i was able to capture the iridescent green of the head, i found metallic green and blue paint at a craft store that really made his head POP. it looks better in person i promise

ALSO!! As this is the 10th one, BIG announcement. The end is in sight!!!!! I plan to finish within the next 3 weeks and there will be a small dedication ceremony/ unveiling happening at the library to commemorate its completion on the 16th of May. If you live in the Western New York region and want to check it out for yourself shoot me a dm!

Also thank you everyone for your kind words and support throughout this whole process, it's been a genuine treat thinking there are potentially thousands of you out there cheering me on while I paint this 🥹

[nattousan]

aaaand another one bites the duck,

we're movin right along with bird numero 11!! The lady Mallard!! Anas platyrhyncos

the 16th is looming in the distance so i'm trying to get thru these as quickly as i can so i can have as much time for the GBH as possible. i still need to do the names next to all of them so i've got about a week and a half to finish everything which is GREAT because i have adhd and nothing gets my ass in gear like a fuckin deadline, let me tell you

[nattousan]

power couple that they are, here's bird number 12 and 13,

the Northern Cardinals, Cardinalis cardinalis

and NOW that they are complete, ITS GO TIME, in the next five days (library's closed for mother's day 😭😭) i need to have the GBH fully rendered, the names of the birds vectored, weeded, masked, applied to the wall, and then painted, plus additional cattails throughout. I may be able to get away with just getting the GBH done in time for the unveiling and then just have the names and cattails added later, but i'm gonna really try to get it all done in time. BUT, i have a plan. Part of why i take so long on these is because i really am just figuring it out as I do it lmao. there have been many a time where i am sitting on top of the ladder googling "how to paint birds" but I think if i take the time tomorro to do all that figuring out how to approach it beforehand, this will go a lot faster. I may also recruit some of my artist friends to help with the placing of the names... hrmm we'll see.

Anyways, shout out to the librarian who tracked down exactly the thing i needed so i could figure out where to place the highlights in my birds eyes, ur the real mvp

[nattousan]

thanks for the reminder, kid

[nattousan]

at long last, we've reached the end...

Bird number 14 out of 14,

The Great blue heron, Ardea herodius

thank you to everyone who reached out or got excited about this project, it genuinely gave me the fuel i needed to keep going. In total, the 480+ total hrs it took me to cover this wall pales in comparison to how long its expected to spend on there, hopefully imparting a sense of beauty and love for the natural world to the next generation and here's hoping i'm only getting started with these.

i'll see y'all soon :')

[shadow-generations]

If you think misogyny doesnt exist within the queer community, you are probably benefiting from misogyny

[shadow-generations]

If you think racism doesnt exist within the queer community, you are probably benefiting from racism

[tarawitht]

Trauma in fiction is treated as a currency not as a character trait. And depending on who holds it, the story gives you total immunity or demands you pay for it.

If a white male lead is toxic or cruel, the narrative immediately rushes in to show you his broken childhood or his mental health struggles. Suddenly it’s not about the harm he’s actively inflicting on the people around him, it’s about how much he’s suffering on the inside. His choices get rebranded as trauma responses, and the story flips the burden onto everyone else to heal him, understand him, and forgive him. If his partner sets a basic boundary or asks for an actual apology, the narrative frames them as rigid and unfeeling for not catering to his pain fast enough. It’s a complete free pass. His past trauma becomes an absolution machine where he never actually has to take responsibility for his own actions because poor him he's so so sad.

But the second you look at female characters or characters of color, that entire grace period disappears. When a POC character has trauma, the story almost never uses it to excuse their bad behavior. Instead their pain is written as baggage they need to deal with quietly so they don't burden anyone else. They’re routinely forced into the role of the patient, grounded anchor whose entire narrative purpose is to perform emotional labor for the volatile white lead, completely stripping them of their own right to be angry, complex, or messy. If a female or POC character makes even a minor mistake, reacts out of hurt, or dares to hold the fan favorite accountable, both the narrative and the fandom drop the hammer on them. They get called annoying, selfish, or toxic, while the white guy gets thousands of words of fan essays dissecting his childhood to explain why he’s actually just a broken boy who needs a hug.

That’s where the racism and sexism sit so heavy in these spaces. White male characters are given infinite interiority, range, and grace, while marginalized characters are flattened into tools meant to facilitate his growth. Trauma should explain why a character acts the way they do, but it shouldn't be a narrative shield that erases their agency. Real redemption requires facing what you’ve done, not using your past as a voucher to treat people like garbage while everyone else pays the price for it.

[constance-mcentee-deactivated20]

Without naming your job, tell me something you say over and over again at work.

"I can note your interest in that feature for future development."

[unfuckablebogtroll]

Prev is a…

Sally

Jilly

Jet

Frances

Remaining time: 6 days 10 hours

[inthetags]

reblog and tag a tag that you have blocked

[apolladay]

If you could have one of these for the rest of your life, which would it be?

Chauffeur

Private chef

Housekeeper

Live-in Nanny

Personal Stylist/MUA

Fitness coach/trainer

If you could have one of these for the rest of your life, which would it be?

Chauffeur

Private chef

Housekeeper

Live-in Nanny

Personal Stylist/MUA*

Fitness coach/trainer

Remaining time: 5 days 16 hours

* make up artist

[knifefightscene]

[reducingemissions]

Yet the cowl always remains on

[softwaring]

[callmehopeless]

I made it

[frankhermann]

actually annoyed by long distance friends again. i want to go for a walk i want to get drinks i want to sit in the grass and write i want to go to the fucking store together

[seeingteacupsindragons]

”Ryland Grace’s life was valued less because he was single,” is such a weird take because it depends entirely on the idea that Eva Stratt might have hesitated if he weren’t.

Eva. Stratt. Eva Stratt is a bulldozer who takes out Antarctica and the Sahara and commanders an entire Chinese naval aircraft carrier.

Eva Stratt would have thrown his ass on that rocket if he had ten wives.

[seeingteacupsindragons]

[folk-punk]

how can you eat the fried hearts of something that once was alive and had a beating heart? do you feel any guilt? i hope you do.

please google what an artichoke is

[theforce]

i dont care how corny iris by the goo goo dolls is bc i love iris by the goo goo dolls and i will continue screaming iris by the goo goo dolls from the top of my lungs every time i hear iris by the goo goo dolls for the rest of my miserable life 

[the-hug-department]

and I

DON’T WANT

THE WORLD

to see me

Cuz I DON’T THINK that THEY’D UNDERSTAND

[carefullfearr]

Sometimes my husband will put this video on just to feel something. You are not immune to Goo Goo Dolls - Iris (Live in Buffalo, NY 7/4/2004) [Official Video] and neither am I

[iamnotswarley]

I HIGHLY recommend the Song Exploder episode about “Iris” because clearly John Rzeznik feels the same way about that song and he wrote it.

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

I think my final disillusionment with the Glorious Violent Revolution (not that I was ever fond of it to begin with) was when the right wing tried it on January 6th and failed miserably, only to switch tactics to boring old electoralism and succeed.