#kels rambles

[weirdtragicgirlthing]

shauna admitting that shes pregnant and jackie reassuring her that they would get through this together vs shauna hallucinating jackies voice while shes on the brink of death during childbirth and that being what ultimately coaxes her back to the real world. you will never get away from the sound of the woman that loved you etc etc

[treasure444]

To other writers,

Please know if I like and don’t reblogs it’s because I’m saving your story to read when I have free time!! After I read it I will reblog it I promise!!

[weirdtragicgirlthing]

currently thinking about adam, with his ankle tugging against the chain thats been biting and digging into his skin, watching helplessly as lawrence crawls out of reach, but still asking him are we gonna be okay because in spite of everything that happened they were supposed to make it out of the bathroom together like yeah its incredibly serious to me actually

[weirdtragicgirlthing]

alwaaaays thinking about lawrences comments on the jigsaw survivors forums. always thinking about ‘whenever i close my eyes i see adams corpse’. always thinking about him still being terrified of waking up one day in another jigsaw trap. always thinking about the implications of him saying ‘not everyone pulls the survival trigger’, about how hes trying to cope with his guilt—adams death is easier to stomach if he can convince himself that adam didnt try hard enough, didnt deserve to win. not like he did

[weirdtragicgirlthing]

i can’t get over how they decided to just never resolve the conflict between five and diego. like they fully died hating each other. fives last line directly to diego is ‘im gonna fucking kill him’ steve blackman you will be dealt with

[weirdtragicgirlthing]

i may be (definitely am) overanalysing this but. something about these two scenes from the saw iii script, more specifically ‘adam smiles - hes gotten through’ / ‘amanda says nothing. is lynn getting through?’

i really do think saw at its core (at least in the first three movies) is about finding hope and connection even among devastation and how important it is to hold onto that and like. this movie is the first time we see how amandas become disillusioned to johns principles. shes doubting him. she sees people like eric matthews, who claw their way out of traps just to have all of their worst traits amplified instead of learning from them. she sees hoffman, taking advantage of johns legacy and ideology for his own search for justice. she sees herself, dedicating her life to john with the promise that he could ‘fix’ her, without ever really moving on from the things that have happened to her. but then there are moments like this. moments where people are kind to her. moments where somebody recognises the person she is underneath all of the manipulation and horrible things she’s done. when had anybody ever looked at her that way before? amandas loyalty to john was motivated by the belief that he would be able to turn her into a better person. she feels so fundamentally horrible and ruined that she clings to him and the false hope he gives her. but these moments where somebody looks at her and just sees her seem to break her a little, because its proof that she doesn’t have to live this way. there are people who will offer her genuine support and kindness, something she knows deep down john will never really give her, because as much as john does care about her in his own fucked up way, he knows she is much more valuable to him as somebody who feels lost and broken, somebody who is self destructive and angry and doesn’t believe she is deserving of anything better than this

and its so tragic to think of what all of this would have meant for her if she had survived that night

[weirdtragicgirlthing]

lowkey i’d be mad as fuck if i was john laurens and i had a secret gay love affair in the middle of a war with my boy best friend until i died tragically young from a gunshot wound in battle and then 200 years later i was relatively unknown by the general public until the intimate letters i shared with the aforementioned boy best friend became the subject of intense scrutiny by an entire generation of historians and teenagers alike trying to decipher the homoerotic bond we had all because some guy made a 3 hour long rap musical about him

[weirdtragicgirlthing]

anyone else up thinking about the #implications of shauna wearing jackies old butterfly t shirt in the scene where she has her first kiss with melissa. something about butterflies being a symbol of change/transformation and how shaunas entire relationship with melissa is just her trying to recreate the dynamic she Thought her and jackie had, but this time with shauna in jackies place holding all the power and melissa in shaunas place. something about shauna being trapped in a constant cycle of blurring the lines between wanting to be with jackie and wanting to become her. something about ‘you taught me how to be like this, you know?’