adam cole comes back from the dead || 1900 words || angst and smut- hangman haunts the narrative
She's cold and she wonders if she'll be cold forever.
Because it's the kind of cold that sinks into her bones, making the very marrow in her knees sting when she moves. Time moves on, ticking slowly forward and she knows this because the watch on her arm ticks slowly forward; seconds pass and she stares down at her wrist, feeling her lungs fill with enough oxygen that it almost makes her feel sick. She doesn't know how long it's been since she last breathed in so deeply that it fills the very bottom lobes of her ribs. Her heart is hammering against her ribs; slow and looping, lapping like waves and she's alive.
It's the most alive she's felt in what feels like years.
Her feet wobble like she's a newborn foal and there's something fuzzy falling in her dry mouth and it feels like her teeth are sticky together, sliding over one another as she parts her lips and breathes out. The air around her is warm and there's twinkling electric candles that lap at her feet like caged dogs. It's almost like a vigil, like someones been mourning. She shakes her head, scans the dim room as she steps slowly out the circle. Her feet feel unsteady and she sits slowly. The wooden bench is still body warm and she sinks against it, breathes in the smell of Matt's shampoo and Nick's chewing gum and there's almost the smell of bitter yearning in the air- following her like a ghost. She flexes aching fingers, digs them into the side of her face and she just shakes her head, hair falling around the sides of her face like autumn leaves. "Why do I taste monster?" She asks and her voice is tired and rough, it rattles through her ribs like a last breath and she presses her palm into the middle of her chest.
It takes her a few seconds to get used to her voice again, she rambles to herself quietly, she yells loudly and soon there's an ache in her chest and her lips are plump and pink and wet again. She feels real and as she sits alone in the Elite's locker room she watches history unveil before her fluttering, heavy eyes; When did Matt get glasses? They're sitting tucked in the corner of his cubby, neatly folded and shoved away. When did Nick get shoes the colour of yellow highlighters, they hurt her eyes when she stares into the fabric. Why isn't there anything of Hangman's? She hunts for his names on the cubbies, cranes her head to look upwards and she sighs, there's no cowboy boots tucked in the corner by the door or a tassel jacket tossed over the arm of the couch, tassels dancing as she moves. It's almost like he simply doesn't exist, like both Adam's have somehow just disappeared from the Elite.
That pings in the middle of her chest, heavy and twisted and it's almost like she's been punched, she can feel the invisible joints of knuckles shoving between each muscle of her ribs. It hurts and Cole feels tears press into the back of her eyes, sharp like knives. She swallows them down, presses the crown of her head against the cold wood until she can feel her own pulse hammering down at her. The door opens and the light flickers on and she jumps, stares at the faces in front of her and the smiles that spread across their faces are bright and happy.
The hugs don't make her feel warmer. She shivers a little in Nick's arms when he pulls her close by the hem of her jacket sleeve. The leather rubs against his exposed skin and Cole feels Nick chuckle into her hair. "You're back." And he sounds relieved and Matt.
Matt just stares at Cole, brown eyes flickering across her face. "Yeah, you're back." His voice is slow and when he lets Cole pull him into a hug, he takes a few seconds to hug back, squeezing her between his fingers as if trying to see if she'll flinch back and when Cole's muscles melt against the warm palms of his hands, Matt seems to just sigh again and pull back. The smile on his face feels sweet enough but it barely reaches the corner of his eyes, the corners don't crease and Cole can't help the way that she looks behind herself, catches a fleeting reflection of her own concern in the reflection of her eyes and looks back.
"Where's Hangman?" His name slips out of her mouth so easily, like she's calling for him and when the Bucks flash a look at one another, Cole feels her shoulders drop. "What?"
"Adam isn't uh..." Matt starts, pushing his fingers against his palm and Cole watches how he pushes them back until manicured nails are bent fully backwards.
"He's not here anymore." Kenny's voice rings out splitting through the pressure in the air and Cole feels air slip out the bottom of her lungs. "He got...too much, he's old news. We don't need him anyway!" Cole knows there's something different about Kenny; his hair slides across his face differently and when he pulls down his aviators, the glow in his eyes is different and Cole feels concern grow in the corner of her mind. Kenny drags the bucks into a hug and Cole stares at them, reads the way that Nick glances at his brother, hand squeezing ever so slightly on Cole's arm and she lets him drag her into the hug. Kenny even smells different when she breathes in the heat from his skin.
She's still cold hours later sitting in Kenny's hotel room. The sheets should be warm against her skin and there should be sweat collecting under her arms or across her forehead but as she lays under warm blankets, half focused on Kenny's match, she can't help the way that she shivers. The sheets are dry when she wakes up, gasping for air. The hotel light switches on and the room bathed in soft light feels less scary. Kenny stands, hair mottled with sweat, by the front door with his wrestling boots hung over his shoulder. "I didn't mean to wake you, you need to rest." And there's so much care in such a simple sentence. He drops his gym back and sits next to her, the mattress squeaking under his weight. "Everyone is so happy that you returned! You're gonna do great, kid!"
She smiles just a little softer and she rests her shoulder softly against his. She needs to touch him, she presses her chilled hands into his skin and Kenny doesn't react, doesn't flinch or comment that she's cold. He just places his hands over hers and squeezes softly. "I think you should join me in the bath, it'll be nice."
"Like old times." She adds and she doesn't know why. The words just fall out and Kenny's nose wrinkles like he smells something bad, he nods once before standing and when his footsteps pull away, echoing louder from the bathroom tiles, Cole breathes into her own hand and sniffs softly.
She doesn't smell does she?
She makes a mental note to brush her teeth again as she pulls herself out the blankets and she follows in Kenny's footsteps, bathes herself in his shadow and tries to find herself in his naked frame. He turns to stare at her and she smiles. The bath only fits one of them and as Cole presses herself onto the floor, hands dragging warm water between her fingers, over Kenny's chest and over his shoulders. The pattern on the floor digs its way into her knees and she shifts her position slowly. "I remember doing this to Hangman once. When we were roommates, so ages ago-" She can't help the way that she smiles as she rubs shampoo into Kenny's curls, they spring between her fingers wrapping around her joints before falling apart and sliding back down against his face, damp and filled with bubbles. "and the water was so cold that he-"
"Will you stop mentioning Adam!" Kenny's voice rumbles out against Cole's palm like an earthquake and she flinches away. Her hands settle into the middle of her bare lap and she scowls when he sighs, blue eyes flicking up to stare at the patterned ceiling. "He doesn't care about you anymore. If he cared, don't you think he would be here?! don't you think if he cared about the elite in general, he would be here helping us- supporting us instead of in the bar drinking away whatever pathetic sorrows he believes he has."
"He's drinking again..?" Cole asks it slowly and there's pain in her stomach; sharp and it almost tastes like guilt when she breathes out and presses her hands deeper into the fat of her thighs. "I guess you're right...you're always right." She lets Kenny stroke a hand through her hair, smoothes it against her face until curling ends are tickling her nose, making the very scruff on her chin itch and he kisses her softly and she kisses him back, pretends that it's the taste of Adam that she's pulling out of his skin cells when she bites into his lip.
Kenny chuckles, light and bright against her lips and she blinks her eyes open, pretends that she was the one who closed them first and he grins. "You're still feisty I see." He grins and Cole doesn't like the way that he smiles at her.
She nods slowly, lets Kenny pull her into the bath and the water should feel warm against her thighs, he should feel real against the shaking palms of her hands but when he kisses her, she feels the same coldness melting out of the marrow of her bones, soaking through her trembling muscles and pressing through her palms when she wraps a hand around his half hard cock, just letting it rest against her hand and the water. He whimpers into her mouth, kisses praise into the crook of her neck and Cole feels herself stiffen, feels the way that he slides a hand around her hip until their balls are bumping together and there's water falling over the edge of the bath and he's rubbing her knee.
She lets him warm her skin with kisses and scuff the bones of her kneecaps as he drags her to their cocks lining up perfectly. She lets Kenny stroke her cock until it's hard and twitching against his and she feels small in his arms, weak in his palms as he continues to stroke her. Water twists around her hips, falls around her middle and soon she's letting Kenny leave hickies across the shadow of bruises on her shoulders and Cole blinks into the soft lowlights, lets them spread like stars against the backs of her eyelids and under everything, she pretends that there's a breeze that's trapped in her body, whistling against her ribs like a mourners tune. She spills over his hand, bathes in the water and she lets Kenny stroke himself off and soon she's washing his cum off the slope of her tits.
He lets her soak in fresh water when he's finished. The towels are hot on the radiator and when he wraps one around Cole's middle, she wonders if she'll always be cold.
