Watch the World Turn Green
For @thefreakandthehair's Spicy Six Summer Challenge! It's a day late but shhh no it isn't
Dialogue Prompt: "How did everything get so green so fast?" | Pairing: Robin Buckley/Nancy Wheeler | Rating: T | CW: None | Word Count: 4k
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Robin has always hated the winter. It’s cold, it’s grey, there’s nothing to do, and she gets sad. It gets harder and harder to drag herself out of bed, her days blend into one long string of schoolworkbedschoolworkbed, and to make it worse, senioritis has been setting in hard. She usually spends every January-through-March counting down the days till spring hits. At least the groundhog saw his shadow this year, predicting an early spring. God bless Punxsutawney Phil. So come March, she keeps her eyes peeled for the budding crocuses, the first patches of green grass, and the fresh buds coming from winter-dormant trees. The allergies suck, but spring brings Ultimate Frisbee season (hey, she has to get her sports credit somehow) enough warmth to make her lips stop turning blue, and color. She loves to see the color come back.
It was only the second of February, though, and those days seemed so far away it didn’t even make sense to dream of them. There's been one person making her days a little less dreary, though.
When Robin got bored, she decided to pick a piece of eye-candy in her classes, y’know, to pass the time. They weren’t real crushes, just a bit of fun, someone to daydream about during math class.
She shared Biology, Stats, and Modern Lit with Nancy Wheeler.
So besides being convenient, she was also really cute, which helped. And even better, she was Steve’s ex— she had passed many a slow shift at Family Video watching Steve’s face turn increasingly entertaining colors as she asked if Nancy’s lips were really as soft as they looked, if he thought she was a B or C cup.
So yeah. It was fun. And Nancy was really smart, too.
It started when they had been paired up for an assignment about 1984. Nancy had never been Robin’s favorite person, she was too preppy, too clean cut, and besides, she was Steve’s ex, so she was predisposed to hate her. But ah. Haha. Oops. Sorry Steve-o, but the loins want what the loins want. (Steve had smacked her for that one, it hadn’t been serious, but it did sting a little.) Nope, it turned out Nancy was really cool and pretty and witty and just the right kind of innocent that drove Robin wild.
And even though Robin was an absolute wuss, it turned out it was much easier to invite pretty girls over when it was under the pretext of homework. They did talk about 1984 a little bit, but they got kind of distracted when Nancy started berating her for not reading that weeks chapter— Robin tried to look apologetic but she kept getting distracted by the quirk of her lips as Nancy tried to keep a straight face through “telling her off,” the gentle whack of her manicured fingers leaving tingling ghosts across her skin.
She was down bad. Oh no. Oh no no no no no. Now this, this was a problem. As long as she didn’t think she actually liked Nancy Wheeler, she was all set. But as soon as the feelings became serious, she turned into an absolute mess. She tried to hide the truth from herself. It didn’t work.
The next time she had a shift at Family Video with Steve, it took about twenty minutes before Steve was asking her what was up.
“So… How’s Nancy?” He had asked, nudging her in the side, wiggling his brows suggestively. “She was meant to come over last night, right? You get to figure out how soft her lips are for yourself?”
She shoved him back, not unkindly. “Shut up.” She grumped. “Nothing happened.”
Steve froze. “Oh.” He said. “So something did happen, just not for her.”
Robin was glaring daggers. “Shut the hell up. Now.”
The next time Nancy came over, it was just to hang out. They had started getting coffee after school together, so that was a thing that happened now. They hung out.
Something was off from the moment Nancy came in, though. She rushed them up to her room, her lips a hard line, her eyes avoiding Robin’s as she asked how her day had been.
“Nance, it was fine, how was yours?” Robin asked, freaked out enough to place a comforting hand on her shoulder without her brain spinning a thousand unpleasant tales about the consequences.
“I- So- Well- So Jonathan and I—” She started, took a deep breath, looked at Robin with tears in her eyes, and spit out, “So Jonathan and I are over. Like, done. It’s finished. We’re… done.” She gave one last pathetic sniffle and keeled over, effectively crying into Robin’s lap.
Right. So. This was happening. Robin was having trouble stopping herself from short circuiting. She was always awful at this kind of stuff— emotions, comforting people, et cetera. She had no idea how some people just had the perfect things to say, all the time.
But she tried, carefully lowering her hand to Nancy’s softsoftsoft curls, stroking them in what she hoped was a soothing way. “There there,” she stuttered out, wracking her brain for how they handled situations like this in movies. “It’ll be okay, he doesn’t deserve you. Um. Plenty of fish in the sea.”
Nancy sniffled, raising her head from her lap. “You’re pretty awful at this.” She cracked a small smile, looking unreal and yet so, so human with her red and shiny eyes. “Haven’t you ever been broken up with before?”
“Um. No.” She admitted, breaking eye contact with Nancy as she worried a lip between her teeth.
“Lucky.” Nancy chuckled, laying back in Robin’s lap.
“I mean, yes and no…” Robin said quietly, glad Nancy wasn’t able to see her face turning red as the girl in her lap grabbed her hand and gently started playing with her fingers.
“Hmm…” Nancy hummed after a moment. “So you’ve never been in a relationship?”
“Nope.” She got out, trying not to squeak, trying to fight the urge to grab Nancy’s hand and pepper it with little kisses and tell her she shouldn’t be wasting her precious tears over Jonathan, that she deserved so much better than some stupid boy.
“How about on a date?” She pressed on, and while Robin was starting to feel a little shy about her inexperience, she hoped this was at least getting Nancy’d mind off him.
A beat. “Ever kissed anyone?” She asked so gently, her eyes coming up to reach Robin’s.
Robin swallowed, blushing but unable to take her eyes away from the angel in her lap. “Uh. No.” She breathed out. Not like there was much chance to in small-town Indiana.
A couple moments of silence. Nancy brought her eyes away and looked across the room, hand almost imperceptibly squeezing Robins before she asked in the barest whisper, “Because you’ve never found another girl who wanted to?”
Robin froze, all warm and fuzzy feelings going freezing cold. She felt like she wanted to throw up, hell, she just might. “I— No—” She stuttered, “That’s not—”
Nancy froze her with a look. Voice wavering, “Robin…” she said, catching her eye and stopping her stuttering, “I… I want to.” She admitted, jaw set, on the verge of tears again, with more bravery than Robin would ever have.
Robin breathed. “Okay,” she said, trying some of Nancy’s bravery on for size. “I want to, too.” She admitted for the first time since she got way too high with Steve in the Scoops bathroom after work, for the second time in her life because she couldn’t even look in the mirror and say it without looking away.
A deep breath. “Robin,” Nancy coaxed, their confessions hanging heavy in the air, “will you… kiss me?”
Robin was terrified, mouth gone dry, brain completely short-circuited. She was in disbelief, and frozen.
Nancy squeezed her hand again, the delicate tears perched so precariously on her lashes. “Please?” She asked again, looking so fragile that she might break with the slightest touch, the smallest word said in the wrong tone.
“Okay.” She breathed, squeezing her eyes shut as she leaned down, because she was still so scared this wasn’t real. But Nancy’s lips were real when they met, and yes, they were just as soft as they looked.
And if she had any sense, she would be terrified of being a rebound, of a mistake made in a vulnerable moment, or worse yet, the butt of a practical joke. But she was too infatuated for that to cross her mind, and besides, Nancy didn’t seem like the type.
She let herself have this. She let them have this moment, in case they never got to have another one. It was soft, and gentle, and so full of care. Robin could taste her strawberry lipgloss, confirming her suspicions that that was why she could never tear her eyes away from her shiny lips.
They broke after a moment, and Robin felt her mouth going a mile a minute. “I’m so sorry, are you sure you still want to do this? It’s okay if you don’t, we can just pretend it never happened, I’m cool with that— also was that really bad? I’m sorry it probably was, I really don’t know what I’m doing, I—“
Nancy cut her off with a hand gently cupping her cheek, as she sat up properly. “Hey,” she said, gently directing Robin’s frantic eyes to meet hers. “It’s okay. I do want to do this. I want to do this with you. You’re not doing badly, just follow my lead, okay? It’s easy. Relax.” She slowly leaned in again, and Robin let herself relax a little more into the better angle. Her eyes fluttered closed as she gripped onto Nancy’s arm, the other hand coming up to her shoulder. She felt awkward, and there was definitely still some anxiety buzzing around, but she was starting to let herself enjoy the experience of kissing Nancy Wheeler.
Just as she was beginning to get into the rhythm, the last of her walls coming down, she felt a tongue prod against her lips. “Mmf!” She squeaked in surprise, pulling back.
Nancy looked up at her, concern starting to creep across her features. “I’m sorry— is this— is this okay?”
“Yeah,” Robin breathed. “Just surprised, that’s all. Um. I don’t really know what I’m doing. Especially not when it comes to um. Tongues.”
Nancy smiled at her fondly. “That’s alright, just do what I do, okay? Try to feel the rhythm. You don’t have to apologize.”
Robin smiled at her gratefully, before Nancy was gently pushing her back onto the bed, their lips reconnecting. She dutifully opened her mouth to let Nancy lick in, and should probably have been more embarrassed by the sound it elicited from her. But as it was she was so in awe of what was happening, she was hardly even aware of herself.
The introduction of tongues brought a new intensity to the game, the innocent kitten kisses turning more involved as the pair found their footing. After a couple of minutes, Nancy sat up to readjust herself, bringing a leg over Robin’s hips so she straddled the girl lying beneath her. “You’re so hot,” she told her, voice low and husky as a grin worked its way across her lips, with a glint in her eye that made Robin’s stomach turn. She felt hands sneak under her shirt, fingers tracing shapes across her stomach with feather-light touches, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
“Yeah?” Robin breathed, her chest rising and falling as she tried to hide the fact she was panting. She couldn’t believe this was happening to her, and she certainly hadn’t imagined this for her first kiss.
“Yeah.” Nancy grinned, raking a hand through her hair in a move she must have calculated to destroy Robin. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from the girl on top of her, eyes tracing the curves of her waist, her chest, her neck, mesmerized by the way the curls bounced on her shoulders as she shook her hair out. Nancy caught her staring and returned her a devilish grin as she leaned down again, bracing herself with an arm beside her head.
Fuck. “So are you.” She told her, Nancy now so close their noses were nearly touching. She caught her smile before she was dipping down again, reconnecting their lips.
She felt her hips stutter as Nancy’s roaming hand found her chest, cutting off a groan as she did so. She felt Nancy’s hips roll down in response, and Robin brought a knee up to support them, slotting it between Nancy’s legs. She groaned into her mouth as she ground against it, her head dropping into the hollow of her neck as she continued to rub herself against Robin’s thigh. Robin was seeing stars just listening to her. She couldn’t believe she had Hawkin’s perfect princess making downright filthy sounds into her ear, making her hot all over.
She gasped again as she felt a nip at her neck, Nancy sucking and biting at the sensitive skin below her ear. She knew enough to know she’d have a bitch of bruise to cover the next morning. Thank god her mom had bought her some makeup for her sixteenth birthday. When Nancy sat up again, it was to rip off her shirt, Robin’s brain going blank as her hands flew to her own shirt next as she felt Nancy pulling it over her head with an urgent “offoffoff.” She felt a hand on her chest pushing her back against the pillows, Nancy looking unreal as she dipped down again, this time working her lips down her chest and along her braline. A hand flew up to Nancy’s shoulder as she felt a hand sneak behind her back to the clasp of her bra.
Nancy stopped abruptly and sat up, worry creasing her brow as she looked into Robin’s pleading eyes. Robin felt a blush creep up her neck and across her cheeks, a deep pit of embarrassment filling her stomach.
Nancy dipped her head, muttering a quiet ”Fuck,” mostly to herself. She gave Robin an apologetic smile as she rolled off her, the pair now lying side by side on the bed. Robin felt her head shift to look at her, and matched the action at Nancy’s soft, “hey,”
“I’m really sorry—” She began, but Nancy cut her off, finding her hand and giving it a soft squeeze.
“No, hey, don’t say that, I’m sorry. I took it too far, and I should’ve known better.” She watched her eyes dip, before fluttering back to meet hers.
“It’s really okay, it’s just all a bit much all at once, and I’m not saying I don’t want to, uh, go further, because I do, it’s just—” she felt herself rambling, unable to meet Nancy’s eyes because she’s pretty sure she just told her that she wanted to like, have sex with her or something. She was brought back to reality by Nancy reaching over and placing a soft kiss on her cheek.
“—a lot.” She finishes for her. “Don’t worry, I get it. We don’t have to do everything all at once.” She drifted off to a murmur at the end as she trailed a few more kisses across her jaw and down her neck, making Robin shiver. “It’s probably best to stop now anyway,” she continued, placing a final kiss to Robin’s lips before sitting up. “It’s getting late, and my mom wants me home for dinner.”
“I— Oh— Okay,” was all she was able to get out, propping herself up on her elbows as she watched Nancy tug her shirt back on. Her skin still felt like it was on fire, her brain still reeling from what just happened.
Once she’d fixed herself, she turned back to Robin, a fond smile gracing her lips as she took in what must be her sorry state. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, half asking, half promising, as she pulled Robin up with a hand, rubbing soft circles into the back with her thumb.
“Sounds good,” She told her, clearing her throat as she found her voice again. “Yeah, sounds good.” Nancy left her with another of her treasured smiles as she slipped out the door, and Robin shook her head to try to clear the fog.
There was no way that had just happened, right? There was no way she had just had her first kiss, with Nancy Wheeler of all people, with her panting in her ear, trying to take them to second? third? base. And yet, as she looked in the mirror, a hand flew up in horror to blossoming blue mark on her neck as her mom called, ”Robbie! Dinner!
The next few weeks were a strange time for Robin. She and Nancy definitely had a… thing. She was over at the Wheeler residence almost every day, usually making out. But they also talked, and did homework, and when it was late enough that Nancy started talking about her insecurities, Robin would try to tell her how amazing she was without sounding like the completely lovesick idiot she was.
Sure, it had started out as a silly crush, and then it had been fun to fool around, but now that Robin was getting to know the real Nancy, the one who huffed in her sleep, who was cranky in the morning and late at night, who liked to make her guests pancakes because it was the one recipe her mom had taught her that she was actually good at, she was starting to fall a little bit in love. But even though that was the case, she wasn’t sure she was even ready for a relationship, if she even wanted one. She rarely got to keep the good things in her life, so who’s to say Nancy wouldn’t just drop her as soon as a cute boy looked her way, who knew if Nancy would even go out with her if she asked? Wanting to kiss a girl and wanting to date one were two very different things.
So the grey days continued to drudge on, and Robin tried to pull back to stop herself from getting too attached. And Nancy was having none of it.
“Robin,” Nancy grabbed her leg. “What’s going on?” The pair were sitting on Nancy’s bed, and Robin had not-so-elegantly ended a makeout sesh because she had “homework to do,” but was really because she was having trouble keeping her hands under control.
"I told you,” she said, avoiding her gaze as she twisted out of her hand to pack her bag. “I have a lot of stuff due tomorrow, I gotta head out. Sorry.”
She froze when Nancy grabbed her shoulder, her other hand coming up to cup her face and face it towards herself. “Bullshit. Somethings been going on, you’ve been completely off lately. Is something going on? Do you want to stop? …Did I do something?"
Robin couldn’t stand the guilt in Nancy’s big blue eyes. Her stomach dropped. “No, it’s not you, god it’s not you, trust me. I’ve just been, I don’t know. I’m not sure how I feel. I’m not sure this is a good idea. Do you even want to keep doing… this?” She asked, gesturing between them wildly. “Like, what are we even doing here? Fuck!” She was breathing heavily, eyes a little wild as she unleashed all her anxieties.
“Of course I want to keep doing this,” said Nancy in a small voice that broke Robin’s heart. “But if you want to stop I get it, Rob, it’s just, I really like you.”
“You do?” Robin felt like she could only whisper, the moment between them was so fragile. “Because god I like you so much, I’m just so scared, all the time. And I’m not sure I can do this anymore, like this. I’m terrified I need more, and I’m terrified I’ll scare you away.” She wasn’t sure where this was all coming from, this bravery, and bluntness. She had a sneaking suspicion her brain had turned off and she was working on autopilot.
She watched, terrified, as Nancy chewed her lip, eyes cast down as she thought. “You mean like, date?”
“God, yes. Nancy Wheeler, will you go on a date with me?” She blurted, fed up with the turmoil in her head. She needed an answer, yes or no, so she could just move on with her life.
“Yes.” She said quietly, but as her gaze came up again a grin was spread across her face. Robin felt a smile split hers too as she leaned forward, connecting their lips in a desperate celebration.
“She said yes!” She raved, elation finishing off her adrenaline high. She felt snapped back to reality, a million thoughts and possibilities running through her head. For once, the future seemed hopeful.
Life with Nancy was good, so good. She had no idea how she made it through winters before her. Yes, the cold and grey still sucked, and she was still eager for frisbee season, but she wasn’t counting down the days anymore. She didn’t need a future to distract herself with when she was so happy every day, with Nancy. On their first date, Nancy asked her to be her girlfriend, and Robin wouldn’t stop raving to Steve for weeks. Classes still sucked, but she shared a whole three with Nancy, and she saw her at lunch and in the halls and after school. The winter was still depressing, but she had Nancy as her guiding light through the darkness. The wind was still terribly cold, but she had Nancy to bundle her in her arms, to warm her frost bitten hands between hers with a tut.
Before long, it was warm enough to plan a proper “outside date,” a picnic. Robin dug out the mini tea set from elementary school, and they got together at Nancy’s house to make tea sandwiches and slice fruit. They found a quiet spot on top of hill, an expanse of forest and buried rooftops visible beneath them, and they felt above it all. They laid out the blanket and ate their sandwiches and drank their tea and reveled in each others company, and when that was done they lay down, sides pressed together and thumbs tracing gentle circles between them.
After a while, the chit chat petered out, and Robin started to doze, lost in her thoughts. She felt a hand stroking her hair, and leaned up to grin at her girlfriend. She was caught by the scene in front of her, her eyes locked on Nancy’s. In one staggering moment, she realized she had never been happier. She took a moment to look around herself— the sky was a dazzling blue, the flowers were coming into bloom, birds were chittering in the trees, dashes of red and black flitting between branches, and although she was still cozied up in a sweater, the wind didn’t have the same bite it did during the winter months. She was taken aback by a sudden thought— ”How did everything get so green so fast?”
