Tuesday was my ketoversary (remember me feeling you all I wanted to be at a new lowest weight for my ketoversary?) well that didn’t happen but I’m ok with it. As you can see I’ve pretty much been “maintaining” since December. I’ve hovered between 190-195ish depending on how well I’m eating.
I’m having trouble getting and staying with keto these days. I think part of it is that I haven’t looked this good in over ten years. So there’s a part of me that says “this is acceptable, just stay here, you’re good” and then the other part of me is like “are you kidding, we’re huge, keto is not that hard, we could be in maintenance if you’d stop fucking cheating”
^Im kind of a bitch to myself sometimes.
Plus I’ve been talking to this guy and he’s a bigger guy (I hate that it’s so much easier for guys to get away with extra weight than it is for women) but he’s super into like “eat what you want” and “thick girls are sexy”. I’d like to say my recent cheating spree is all his fault but he is trying to understand keto and offer keto type options so in all fairness it’s totally me. I’m my own worst enemy.
Another reason that I’ve been having trouble is I’ve really been slacking in my meal prep and gotten lazy with ordering lunches instead of making them with keto goodnesses. I’ve also derailed my keto buddy too. She’s totally winning our competition btw.
I read a diet motivational quote that said something to the effect of “The closer you get to your goal, the harder you have to work.” I’m making that my motto for this next chapter of keto.
On the other side of the ketoversary spectrum I want to say how grateful I am to this diet/lifestyle. I’ve gotten so many benefits from it. I’ve gone from a size 22 to a size 13ish depending on brand and fit. I look better, I feel better, I’m healthier. NSV notice that most recent progress photo? I’m wearing shorts. I haven’t worn shorts in FIVE YEARS! More over do you know that I wore that outfit out of the house. First of all I can’t remember the last time I wore so little out if the house. Not to mention, I didn’t get that feeling of “I shouldn’t have worn this. My fat is showing. I’m too big to be dressing like this.” It was so liberating. Even when my sister in law made a snarky comment about how she put a shirt on over her sundress because she didn’t want to have everything hanging out. I was a little flummoxed at first but then I got this little fire inside like “I’ve worked really hard to feel this good and this confident. I’m not ashamed of my body.”
^That thought took me totally by surprise because it was the first time I had a thought like that in I can’t even tell you when. So powerful.
