keyxbearer ›› continued !
Sora liked to think of himself as a talented guy. There were many things he was thankful he could do, and keeping his emotional state hidden was one of them. If Sora was sad, if he was scared, he kept it hidden behind smiles and bravado. But the facade could only last for so long until it crumpled.
The guilt felt with Roxas was unbearable. It was like drowning, like his head was under water and there was no chance in escaping, like his lungs were filled with nothing but water that was only dragging him down. And with time that guilt, with nowhere to go, bubbled into rage. A rage that was targeted to himself than to anyone else.
“ Do you think I wanted this? That I wanted you to suffer through something like this? Because if I could, I would trade places and give you the life you d e s e r v e d, Roxas! I would gladly DISAPPEAR if it meant you wouldn’t have to! “
he’s not entirely sure how to react to Sora shouting back with that. he’s not used to that kind of Sora in general. no one has yelled at him for a while, not in any other way besides a jokingly or perhaps just yelling across a distance to communicate. the biggest thing, though, that gets the boy to really shut up for a second, is the fact that Sora is, well.. addressing what’s happened at all.
he himself, not being given much chance to quite explore it, is completely unsure if he even has the stability to discuss it, to open up about it. so maybe it’s his own fault. he’s always been a stellar player at the blame-tossing game, so it could be his own fault in the end. and yet, there he goes again, letting his anger at ---- at something ----- overrule common sense. his hands ball into trembling fists at his sides, and before he can stop himself, he lets himself break.
“ this isn’t ABOUT you ! ” he shouts, shaking his head, brows knitting together to create a very unhappy look. “ i don’t ----- i don’t WANT you to disappear, you idiot ! it’s not -- it’s not even your fault that it all happened ! it’s NEVER been your fault, you’ve NEVER owed me an apology ! ”
his eyes begin to water, tears of anger, of loss, of confusion --- who really KNOWS what all they stem from --- building up in his sapphires as he slips a hand through his hair a few times. seeming distracted, but no less in a state of disarray and, in short, a mess. maybe he isn’t ready to talk about this.
“ why-why ----- why are you so -- it doesn’t even matter, i don’t ----- ”
