He’s not really sure how they got from innocent kissing to making out to jerking each other off to sucking each other, but whatever, he’s not complaining. It seems like physical intimacy just comes naturally to them, like the way they work perfectly in sync on court—perfect partners on and off it, and it gives Shouyou this fuzzy, gooey feeling whenever he thinks about it.
Which brings them to their current situation: finally attempting to elevate their relationship to the next level, aka the single most terrifying thing Shouyou has ever attempted to do. It’s their three-month anniversary to the day (it was Kageyama who remembered—what a sap) and they figured, it is the perfect time to do it.
Shouyou's first time with Kageyama turns out to be 90% bickering and 10% awkward sex, and they figured, they're not ready for it and puts all butt stuff on hold for now.
Kagehina Celebration Week 2022, Day 5: Promises | Hurt/Comfort
Can also be read on AO3!
Rating: M
Fandom: Haikyuu!!
Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata)
Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama
Word Count: 2,769
Summary: What was supposed to be a relaxing night at a local bar turns sour as ugly insecurities become forces to be reckoned with.
A/N: Author’s notes can be read on AO3.
Tobio knew, objectively, that his boyfriend was hot. With his sunburst hair, kind eyes, bright smile, and that body, god, that body, it seemed impossible for someone to not fall just a little in love with Hinata.
Tobio also knew, objectively, that Hinata loved him, and only him. They were devoted to each other in a way that was only ever challenged by their love for volleyball, and absolutely nobody could come between them. Hinata especially wouldn’t stand for it — he was the most loyal person Tobio had ever met, another reason for him to love him so fiercely.
And yet.
He was kicking himself for not offering to get them more drinks. Hinata had beat him to it, and now he was sitting alone, in their booth, fiddling with his empty beer glass as he watched his vibrant boyfriend wait by the bar and— there it was.
Hinata had accidentally jostled someone as he wove his way to the bar, and he flashed an apologetic smile as he caught them — her, Tobio realized with some dismay — by the shoulders and steadied her. Tobio couldn’t hear what he said, and he couldn’t even see the woman’s face, but he could see Hinata laugh at her response before he got the bartender’s attention.
Tobio wasn’t surprised, nor was he worried — this always happened to Hinata. With how open and friendly he could be to strangers, Tobio couldn’t really blame them for being drawn in and interested in more. Lord knows he wasn’t immune to it, even after all these years. But it did still feel kind of…shitty, watching his boyfriend get chatted up while he sat alone in a booth without even a beer to sip at.
It would’ve been fine if that had been it, if Hinata had just ordered the beers and continued a friendly conversation. But instead, when Hinata turned back to the woman, his smile faltered, and his eyes shot down to where she was running one long, immaculately-manicured nail along his bare forearm. He pulled away with another apologetic smile, this time much more subdued, as he shook his head, and thankfully, that was when the bartender returned with the beers and gave Hinata an excuse to slide away.
Tobio couldn’t go and shoo the lady off, because then they would lose the booth and Hinata would get all upset about that, especially when “I had it handled, Tobi! And now we don’t have a booth!”
So he just…sat there and watched as Hinata hurried over to their table with a bright smile, looking like he hadn’t spent the last few minutes turning someone down. “Here we go!” he chirped, setting the beers down as carefully as he could while a little buzzed. “Do you want me to order us any food?”
Tobio mutely shook his head, not reaching for his new glass. A worried frown flickered over Hinata’s face, only to be replaced by surprise when Tobio took hold of his wrist and tugged him into his side of the booth. “Woah, hey!” he laughed, catching himself before he crashed into Tobio’s side. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Tobio mumbled, tucking Hinata close with an arm around his shoulders and resting his forehead in that bright hair.
“It doesn’t seem like nothing.” A gentle hand fell on Tobio’s thigh and a thumb started drawing soothing circles, but for some reason, that just made Tobio feel worse. Why? For what? Because he saw Hinata get flirted with? Why did that matter, when he hadn’t flirted back? Why did that matter, when he knew, he knew Hinata would never break his trust like that?
Was it insecurity? Did he just not like the thought of other people lusting after his boyfriend? Was he worried he wouldn’t compare to some of the people who approached Hinata?
But that was stupid, too. Weird fans and strangers crushing on them was just part of being professional athletes. And even if there hadn’t been a weird amount of articles calling Tobio a “sexy setter” (how were they still not tired of that?), the desperation of Hinata’s kisses every night that they got to spend together always told him that he was still more than “sexy” enough for his boyfriend.
So why? Why did he still feel a little shitty? Why were his stupid heart and his stupid brain making him feel so stupid?
“Tobi?”
The murmur of his name brought Tobio out of his head, and he realized, with horror, that his eyes were stinging with the threat of tears. “It’s nothing,” he repeated, this time around a tightened throat. “M’just…tired, I guess.”
The ginger mop slid out from under Tobio’s forehead, forcing him to lift his head and meet Hinata’s gaze. Those warm eyes stared hard at him, as though Hinata was looking for something, before he asked, “Do you want to finish the beers, or should we go home?”
No affirmative, no “okay” or “alright.” Just a question. That’s how Tobio knew he’d been caught.
He also knew, like Hinata did, that an Irish bar was not the place for the conversation they needed to have. So he just shook his head, and said, “Let’s finish the beers. No need to waste them.”
“It’s not a waste if you’d rather go home.”
He reached out and gently pinched a cheek, a small smile curving his mouth despite himself. “Drink your beer, dumbass. We don’t waste.”
He was rewarded with a wrinkled nose and stuck-out tongue, and for a moment, he thought things were fine. But as they sipped at their beers, he noticed that Hinata was much more subdued than usual, no doubt still trying to puzzle out what had made him upset earlier. “Sho,” he murmured when Hinata had spent a full minute frowning into his beer, “stop thinking so hard. It’s seriously nothing to worry about.”
“Yes it is,” Hinata grumbled, “I don’t get it, did I do something?”
Tobio sighed, exasperation and fondness prickling through him. “No, you didn’t do anything. I would’ve told you if you did.”
Hinata nodded, his frown replaced by relief for a breath before it returned. “Then…”
“We can talk about it at home, if it’s really bothering you that much.”
Tobio thought he’d be able to catch a break for a few minutes after Hinata nodded again. But then that stupid tangerine grabbed his glass and chugged the beer like it was a bottle of water after a full five-set match. “What the hell?”
“Done!” Hinata grinned at him, unaware of the foam mustache sitting on his lip. “What about you?”
“You are…the dumbest person I’ve ever met.” He swiped the foam off Hinata’s lip and licked it from his thumb, biting back a smile at the flush that colored his cheeks.
“Yeah, I’ve heard. Are you done? With your beer?”
Tobio couldn’t stop a soft, bewildered laugh from bubbling out. He was just so stubborn and bullheaded. Tobio loved him so much. “Yeah,” he finally sighed, pushing away his half-full glass, “let’s go.”
Hinata’s smile was so sweet, so relieved, that Tobio almost forgot to dread the conversation that awaited them.
But then they left the bar, and the dread returned and worsened with every step towards his apartment. When they’d decided to come to this bar, it was mostly because it was so close to his place. Now he wished it was further away, if only so he could stall a little longer before revealing how irrational he’d been.
As soon as they stepped into his genkan, Hinata was toeing off his shoes and hanging up his jacket in what felt like record time.
“Wow, are you that excited to interrogate me?” Tobio scoffed, taking his time to untie his shoes and find a hanger for his jacket.
“I’m not interro— intro— I’m not a cop, Tobi, don’t be dramatic.”
“Oh, I’m dramatic?!”
Hinata had the grace to look a little abashed, but it didn’t last long. “Can you just…tell me what was wrong?”
“Christ, Sho, it’s not…it really isn’t a big deal,” Tobio said, a single pleading note underlining his words. “I’m fine now.”
A scowl creased Hinata’s face, an expression that looked so foreign on his bright features that Tobio was surprised into silence. “I saw your face when I came back to the booth. I heard your breath shaking when you pulled me next to you. Something was wrong, and I don’t know why you won’t just tell me!”
“Because it’s stupid! I was just…it was stupid, and it doesn’t matter!”
“Yes, it does!” Somehow, without either of them realizing, their voices were growing louder and louder as they argued. “You said I didn’t do anything, but you were fine when we got to the bar, which means something happened there, but we were in the booth all night, except—” Tobio could see the realization dawn on Hinata, and his heart sank as those eyes widened. “The lady at the bar. You saw her flirt with me.”
“Yeah,” Tobio huffed, “congrats, you got it. A two-minute interaction bothered me, there you go. Can we drop it now?”
He tried to move past Hinata, only to be stopped by him stepping back in his way. “What? No! We haven’t even talked about it!”
“Sho, please—”
“Why did it upset you?”
“It doesn’t matter—”
“You never run away like this, I don’t—”
“What do you want me to say?” Tobio burst out. “What, you want me to say that yeah, even though we’re together and I trust you, it still fucking sucks to see other people flirt with you? That it's frustrating and even hurts a little, even though I know, I know it’s not your fault? Is that what you want me to say?”
“Yes!” Hinata cried. “Yes, you idiot, yes I want you to say that! If that’s how you feel, then tell me!”
“Why? It’s not going to change anything.”
“Oh my god.” Hinata pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes as he stalked away from Tobio, making him feel strangely like a child arguing with a teacher as he trailed after him down the hallway. “Oh my god, are you trying to be stupid?”
“Of course I’m fucking not!”
“Well, you’re doing a great job acting like it!” Hinata snapped, whirling back around with a glare. Tobio felt something in his gut twist at the tears shining from those brown eyes. “It’s not going to change anything? Are you kidding?”
“This shit isn’t like forgetting chores or needing space from each other! We can’t just fix this problem between the two of us and make it go away! It’s going to keep happening, people are going to keep flirting with you, and it’ll keep making me feel like shit, even when I know it shouldn’t.” His shoulders fell from around his ears — he hadn’t even noticed how tense they’d been — as he felt something dangerously close to defeat begin to weigh on them. “The only way it’ll ever actually stop is if you…stop being yourself. Your perfect, magnetic self. And I would never, never ask you to do that.”
He didn’t know what expression he expected to see on Hinata’s face in response to him, but it wasn’t anger, and it certainly wasn’t tears falling to his cheeks. “Fuck off, Tobio,” Hinata bit out. “You don’t get to get out of this by putting me on some pedestal. I’m not asking you to control other people, I’m asking you to talk to me.”
Shit, fuck, this was exactly why Tobio hadn’t wanted to say anything. It was stupid, it was all stupid, he was being stupid. “Sho, I wasn’t—”
“Maybe it won’t keep people from flirting with me, and it won’t keep you from feeling bad about it. But next time I’ll know, and I’ll understand, and I can tell you what you need to hear instead of us having this argument all over again!”
Tobio blinked. Spelled out like that, it made sense. But for some reason, that just made him want to dig his heels in even more. “It’s just…I was just…It wasn’t worth—”
He couldn’t finish. Suddenly there were lips on his, parting hungrily and licking into his mouth, and hands wrapping into his collar to back him into the wall. He fell against it with a thud, but he didn’t care about the dull pain. He was more focused on the teeth biting into his lips, his hands grabbing at Hinata’s hips and flexing against the thick muscle there.
“Your feelings are always,” Hinata hissed between furious kisses, “always worth it.” He pulled away with a tug at Tobio’s bottom lip, and glared at him with a ferocity that was intensified by the tears still trailing down his cheeks. “Stop saying they’re not.”
Tobio cupped one cheek, brushing away the lingering tears with a gentle thumb. “They’re not worth making you cry.” He ducked his head to kiss away the drying tear tracks. Hinata’s damp eyelashes fluttered against Tobio’s skin like butterfly kisses — so light, he almost couldn’t feel them.
“I’m not crying because of your feelings,” Hinata huffed, “I’m crying because you won’t tell me about them. It sucks when you’re upset, and it sucks even more when you don’t think you can talk to me about it.”
“I know,” Tobio whispered against Hinata’s soft, damp cheeks, “I know, I’m sorry.” He pressed his lips back to Hinata’s, kissing him with a hunger that was slow, relished, making arousal spread tendrils through Tobio’s veins as he worked more whimpers and moans from Hinata. He could feel Hinata melting against him with every bite and lick, until he couldn’t keep pushing Tobio against the wall.
Good. His hands dropped back down to Hinata’s hips, giving him enough leverage to push Hinata across the hallway and against the other wall before he could resist. It worked — he felt Hinata gasp against his lips, before his kisses became hungrier and he started arching into him. He was on his toes and clawing at Tobio’s shoulders, like a cat trying to climb up a tree, but it wasn’t until he felt a leg hook around his hips that Tobio realized that was exactly what Hinata was trying to do. He held onto the leg that was already around him, and wrapped his other arm around Hinata’s waist, before pushing him up the wall. Hinata understood immediately, lifting his other leg and wrapping it tight around Tobio’s waist.
“I’m yours, Tobio,” Hinata murmured, his words breaking into a moan from Tobio pressing lips and teeth down his neck. “Nothing, no one, is gonna change that.”
“Mine,” Tobio echoed, “all mine.” He sucked at Hinata’s collarbone, exactly in the spot where his jersey collar would fall. Who knew if the mark would stay covered? The thrill and risk was half the fun.
There was a high whine at his work, before hands cupped his jaw and firmly tilted his head up. A shudder slid through Tobio at the look in Hinata’s eyes — desire, stubbornness, and command all swirled in that warm gaze, reminding Tobio of the hard focus Hinata would get before games. “And you,” Hinata murmured, stroking a hand through Tobio’s hair, “are mine.”
“All yours.” He was rewarded with a slow, deep kiss, and Hinata’s hips rocking down against his. He instinctively rocked back as he slid a hand under Hinata’s shirt to circle a nipple, and soon the hallway was filled with their gasps and moans.
The sound of another dull thud made Tobio pull back just enough to see Hinata lean his head against the wall, baring the smooth, tempting expanse of his neck. Sweat glistened over a pretty flush, and Hinata’s lips were bitten red and slick and swollen as they hung open on soft moans. “Fuck, you’re beautiful,” Tobio breathed with wonder.
That flush deepened as Hinata met his gaze with heavily-hooded eyes. He scratched through Tobio’s hair again, pulling a quiet, content growl from deep in his chest. “You, too,” Hinata crooned, leaning forward to steal another kiss. “I love you. Don’t hide anything from me again. Let me—mmh, let me take care of you.”
“Okay.” Tobio licked up a droplet of sweat beginning to slide down Hinata’s neck, flicking his tongue off his jaw and landing a light bite there. “Love you so much.”
“Show me.” Tobio met his eyes, and caught sight of the familiar glint of challenge that had sent Tobio tumbling head over heels in love with him all those years ago. “Show me, Tobio.”
