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Blargh. Probably everything is fine, but at the NST today his heart sounds were a little too fast when he moved relative to baseline and now my wife is in a shame spiral about caffeine and her OB has been hassling her about her size (barely overweight even when 8.5 months pregnant; plus it’s clearly mostly water weight) and the baby’s size (approximated at 7 pounds now, estimated to be around 8 on his due date in 1.5 weeks) and acting like she has to do everything possible short of pitocin to get him out ASAP, acting like she doesn’t believe my wife about her diet (she eats tons of vegetables and almost no sugar) and it’s bringing up my wife’s old body image and food issues and it makes me so angry. Grrrr.

ETA: He’s already nearly full term, at 38.5 weeks. I think he’ll technically be at term on Monday at 39 weeks. I originally said “at term” when I meant “on his due date”. Fixed it.

#kidmaking stuff

My wife is doing pretty well, but the last month of pregnancy is never easy, especially in summer. Sore swollen feet and ankles, sciatica that waxes and wanes, crunched-up shoulders from having to sleep on her side. It all takes a toll. My wife's default reaction to pain is to feel like it's her fault, so we've instituted a household ban on apologizing (since we both do it way too much), and whenever my wife feels like she's not productive enough and that she should be doing more around the house than her body is willing to let her do, I've started singing this little chant, which involves interpretive stomping and always ends with two quick rhythmic kisses: You're making us a baby! A baby with your body! You're making us a baby with your body right now! *kiss-kiss* Seems like she's adopted it as a personal anthem in emoji form. I am extremely proud.

#kidmaking stuff #reasons why I love my wife

I can't sleep, and I have to be up in three hours, but I'm happy and content. From the beginning I've mostly used this place as an angst vent and have gone silent when things were good, which is a shame. The good stuff is more worth recording than the bad. But especially now that I'm not working (gave away all but four of my billable hours to another freelancer this week, and will basically be off 'til the end of August), I've largely been away from the computer, and blogging on the phone, as I'm doing now (in bed, trying not to wake my wife), is a pain. But things are good. The place is coming together. We got a guy in to fasten all the furniture to the wall, which means we can finally start putting books in the bookshelves. I bought all the random baby gear we're gonna need (thermometer, sash carrier, changing pad, sink bath insert, all that exciting stuff), and it's been arriving piecemeal over the past few days. Today I found a pediatrician, at least for the first weigh-in visit a few days after he's born. We'll see if she cuts the mustard after that. We washed all the clothes people gave us as presents or hand-me-downs that were sized anywhere from zero to three months, though the dresser we ordered to store them in won't arrive 'til next week. The shower is Saturday. 12 old friends for lunch at a restaurant nearby, each bringing a book. The whole thing is being organized by our donor's wife, who is such a beautiful human being. It'll be really good to see them all. My wife is sweet and amazing. There are no words for how happy she makes me. The little blorper continues to blorp away. I lie with my hand on her belly while we watch The Americans in bed at night, feeling him push and slide and wriggle, and my heart fills with joy. We have no idea when this thing is gonna happen. Could be today, could be next week, could be any time from now 'til mid-August. She's drinking nettle and raspberry leaf tea and eating dates and sticking evening primrose where the sun don't shine, but he'll show up when he wants to. Nothing to do but put things in order and savor the sweet anticipation of what's to come.

#kidmaking stuff #happiness #gratitude #joy

Good blood pressure, baby still head down with good heartbeat, Group B Strep negative, cervix closed, OB in complete agreement with our birth plan, and we are cleared for the Birth Center!

\o/

#kidmaking stuff #all good news #very happy

Yesterday I had an hour of onsite work after 11 days off, which were mostly consumed by wrapping stuff up at the old place and continuing to set up the new place, but which still allowed for a ton of leisure and sleep and cooking and hanging out with friends (including my favorite five-year-old.) Today I have three hours of onsite work and then I go to the OB's office with my wife to talk about labor plans and stuff! She's at 36 weeks and two days! If she holds out 'til Monday, we'll be able to use the Birth Center! She's worried about going early but I'm worried about her going late. Dunno why except that she arrived a week early (as an only child) and I arrived two weeks late (as a third child), so who knows. I've got about four hours of work a week, mostly one hour a day, until mid-August, which my wife really wants me to find a sub for. I had one lined up, but then she dropped out, so I gotta find another one. The same schedule will probably go on in September, and I'd just as soon have the money and be able to take longer before going back to work full time, but my wife really wants me to take 3 to 5 months completely off. We'll see how it goes. She's uncomfortable from swollen feet, sciatica, and hip pain, but taking it easy helps, and she's in generally good spirits. Main thing we gotta do before the kid arrives is unpack all the boxes in his room (they're mostly tchotchkes from the old place that we're not sure we have room for, so we might have to do another big discard), get a handyman in to anchor all our furniture to the wall and swap the window guards around so we can get an AC in the living room, buy the kid a dresser and wash all the clothes people have given us so we can see what else if anything we need to buy, and then we're pretty much set, except for some minor decorating. I just spent half an hour naked on our new couch drinking Irish Breakfast tea out of a color-changing mug with whales on it while a fan blew on me, which was blissful, but now I'd better take a super quick shower and head out. It'll be nice to switch back to 90% remote work starting tomorrow.

#kidmaking stuff #current status: holding steady