Kind of liking my newest change in personality Who would have thought calm was possible with BPD

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Kind of liking my newest change in personality Who would have thought calm was possible with BPD
I'm so sorry
Why am I like this???
I deserve to be punished.
How much salt do I need to consume to die in my sleep jfc
The only thing stopping me from posting nudes somewhere is the legal age, kinda scared for the fits of bad mental health that make me want to after my birthday this year ;;
I hope i end up dead really soon
Like I can't even go out with someone sexually attracted to men & only romantically attracted to chicks bc I'd feel my entire life I'd be holding them back. Like my best friend is that way and I'd love to kiss her but she's just ?? I don't know I could never do that to her I don't know I don't know