Discover Top Posts Tagged with #killing me inside

my thoughts are killing me

#Art #woman #fucked up #overthinking #my year of rest and relaxation #slyvia plath #mad #crazy woman #feeling miserable #killing me inside

hi so. I’m bisexual?

#I’ve been having a time these last few weeks and it’s why I’ve not been here much #I’ve really been struggling with feeling like a liar lmaoo #like a couple years back when I was like oh I’m a lesbian I really really though that like 100%#but then life happens and anyway I’ve met someone and they’re great and yeah #but that weird internal battle of feeling like I’ve been lying to people when really sexuality is just one hell of a fucking ride has been #killing me inside #but anyway. i can’t wait for Phil’s Birthdya video and I have missed u guys

I swear... this shit just gets harder each and every day. I feel lime I'm suffocating without her. I can't breathe, got no motivation, no reason to go on. I really wonder if she has any idea how I feel? I just refuse to believe she could really be that far off. She's too intelligent for that. I just want the truth. Plain and simple with no bullshit. It's seemed like I haven't been able to make any decisions on my own for over a year. I've just been reacting to all the bullshit and lies assuming they're real. Then she would degrade the shit out of me criticising my reaction to bullshit? I'm sorry, but once you put falsehoods in the mix, you'll never know how a person would've reacted to the actual truth. We were like that perfect couple everyone wants to be like. I was positive that I was set for life. She never even tried to work anything out? She just played games and tried to fuck with my head. Completely destroyed my confidence and self esteem. With all the extra shit from covid I barely survived the last 6 months. I eas shot at more times this summer alone than I had been my whole life and was all but beaten to death by the police. She didn't give 2 shits. She's thrown my ass out countless times in the middle of the night, carrying tons of things I shouldn't. Total disregard for my comfort and or safety was the norm. Yet this entire time I would've literally given my life to see her happy for just one day. The worst thing is that even after a year of excruciating pain, I would still do anything I can for her. Why? I should hate her fucking guts and I know it? I even tell her on the rare occasion I get a chance. Instead of ever once trying to understand why I'm acting this way she just blames me for evetything and continues bitching at, yelling at, and degrading me? She's nothing like the loving girlfriend and mother that I fell so hard for, yet when I look at her that's all I see... I feel like she's trapped inside somewhere gasping her last few breaths before she gets devoured by the beast that took over? I am not some little pussy ass bitch boy, but I cry every time I think about her. I still love that woman with every drop of life left in me. I wish to God that she could just stop worrying about what went wrong long enough to remember how right it was. She'll never be replaceable. I don't know how long I'll survive with this hole in my chest? I literally feel why old couples pass on shortly after their partners. That connection can not be faked. She's my soulmate and her head's a doped up mess. I need my 😘😘SugarBumBum😘😘 back more than anything ever. Baby I love you and I'm a broken train wreck without you...

#dreamsmadereal28 #spun friends #spun af #blowing meth #killing me inside #i miss you #soulmates #depression sucks