ma cerise
herein lies chapter five....
kimwonshit x ravi
It had been four days since you last saw Ravi, and he'd certainly let you know he missed you. You never answered your phone the eighteen times he called, or responded to any of the thirty-two texts he’d sent you. You’d read the texts, though, had listened to the voicemails he’d left you, but you couldn’t find the nerve to speak to him. He’d shown up at one of your classes, but you stayed behind and pretended you needed help from the professor. He didn’t stick around long, and he hadn’t tried to do it again.
You didn’t know what to say. You couldn’t make excuses. He missed you. You knew he missed you, but you didn’t know why he missed you. You were a decoy, a front so he’d avoid unwanted attention. So why did it hurt to avoid him? Why did your heart feel like it was breaking every time he called you Cherry in a voicemail? Why did you feel sick whenever he said Alexis in such a pleading voice. What did it all mean? Why did e seem so desperate for you attention?
It hurt you not to know, but you were too afraid of the answer to find out. You were too afraid that while your feelings were definitely not harmless or innocent, Ravi’s feelings would be exactly that. You were afraid he was just worrying innocently about you with no other reason than he needed you for his cover story. Your biggest fear was that he would laugh at your feelings… or worse. His warning message kept replaying in your head.
“You can’t fall in love with me.”
There was a chance he’d get angry at you for breaking the only rule he had. You were certain you’d lose him, so it was easier to distance yourself now, before you got too attached.
At least that was what you kept telling yourself. It didn’t feel easy at all. You felt like you were falling apart.
pov switch
I hadn’t wanted to come home. It wasn’t somewhere I liked being anymore. The city wasn’t huge, but it was suffocating. It was a promotional stunt that brought me back here. It wasn’t my idea, but it showed promise, and PR usually jumps all over those opportunities. So… here I was. Back in a hometown that took the fame I had for granted. I still had a few friends that kept in touch with me. The kind who were more concerned about me than the money or gifts I could provide for them. They kept it real, and I found that I did miss them a bit when I was finally free of the confines of the hotel to meet up with them.
They were the group I had originally written and performed with. They all chose to stay in school and go to college, but they supported me when I left to follow our dreams. I was with them now, on the college campus quad. None of them had class today, but it was convenient for us to all meet here. The college coffee shop was on other side of the quad, just in case we needed anything. As it was, we were starting to discuss what we wanted when I heard a familiar voice coming from across the quad. I looked up, seeing a familiar face. Hyuna. I had dated her in high school, before I left. She didn’t want to support me once I left town, but when I became a hit, she contacted me relentlessly. I stood quickly. She’d found out I was back and had been bothering me every day. I’d hoped I’d be able to avoid her today. I nodded towards my friends, who all seemed to understand, and hurried for the coffee shop. A girl had entered in front of me. Her hair was cut similar to mine, but I had to admit she pulled it off better than me. She also had an assortment of rainbow colors in it. It was… cute. She went to find a seat immediately, and I stepped up the counter to put in the order my friends and I had been discussing. The barista brought a drink over to the girl. I watched. I couldn’t help myself. She had a notebook in her hand. When I glanced behind her out the window, I saw that Hyuna was now talking to my friends. They didn’t point to where I’d gone, but I caught a few of them glancing this way. Hyuna was a smart girl, and she immediately started marching across the quad.
“Forget that order,” I told the cashier when she asked for payment.
I went to the girl in the corner, sat at her side, and put an arm around her. It didn’t take long of Hyuna bothering us for her to finally leave us alone. When it was over I finally pulled my arm away from the girl. It was a relief that at least I wouldn’t have to deal with her for the rest of the day. I turned to the girl, smiling still.
“I’m Wonshik, call me Ravi.” I offered a hand, and she took it.
“Alexis.”
The name was familiar, and I realized why. The name on the artworks in the student artwork belonged to her. I voiced this. I can tell I surprised her. She gave me the drawing she made of me, and I took it happily. She really was talented.
“I’d like to see you again.”
She looked confused, so I explained to her. I had to stop myself when I almost admitted how cute she looked when she walked in. She took the explanation I gave her without pressing for the last bit of information. In return, she let me know about her own little dilema. I felt a bit happy at the idea of being able to help her. I knew the feeling of being blocked, not knowing what to write, what to feel in the music. I realized I still had to get back to my friends, though, and stood. “I’ll see you around.” “Uh… yeah.”
I leaned in, hand on the table. Her eyes widened, but I stood, snatching the cherry on top of her drink. It was a weird combination, to see a cherry on top of an iced coffee, but it was a nice touch. The cherry on top...
“See ya round, Cherry.” “My name-”
I didn’t stay to hear the rest, I was out the door and eating the cherry from her drink.
Alexis didn’t seem to realize who I was, so I took the time to show her into my world. I found her in the student center when I finally had a day off. It’d been four days since I saw her at the coffee shop, not that I was counting. But it felt a lot longer than that, especially when I saw the look of confusion on her face as she stood staring at the poster my PR team had put up around the campus the day before. She was so into studying the poster she didn’te even notice that I came up beside her. I crossed my arms, resting my shoulder against the wall. I knew I was grinning, but I couldn’t stop it. The look on her face…
“Pretty impressive, huh?”
She turned to look at me, but I didn’t have time to say anything more. A group of girls had entered our space, huddling around me and bombarding me with questions. A lot of them had to do with my being in town, and the answers came automatically. I couldn’t take my eyes off Alexis while I talked, while they spoke to me. Something about this girl just drew me in and I couldn’t fight it. I didn’t want to fight it. Everything about her just called to me.
“Do you know Alexis?”
They knew her name, but it didn’t seem to register to her that they had said it. I stepped through the crowd, put my arm around her. Of course I knew her. I felt like the universe had made me want to know her.
“I’m taking her on a date.” “Hey, wait. You can’t just decide that.”
But I did. And nothing in her voice indicated she was against it. Maybe just… perplexed? The look on her face certainly said so. I’d wanted to see her again, was making excuses to see her again. As I led her towards the campus exit, I noticed Hyuna with her friends. I saw Alexis looking at them, too. Hyuna barely glanced at me, and I’d heard from my group that she seemed to finally get the picture. Maybe it was because of Alexis, or maybe she finally realized I’d been ignoring her and had not just been conveniently busy. But it still gave me an idea.
“I got a few things I wanna discuss with you.”
I took her hand. She immediately bombarded me with questions, but I was in no hurry to answer them. It wasn’t that long of a walk to the ritzy hotel in the city, and I took her to the elevators quickly. I didn’t want the press to see this, not yet. Not until I had her answer. She was still so curious, still asking questions. I couldn’t blame her, I really could’ve been an ax murderer using the spotlight as a cover. The ride up to my floor was quiet, and when I showed her into the suite, she looked completely shocked. It was a cute expression on her face, but I prefered to see a smile instead. I spread my arms wide.
“Ta-da!”
She looked around briefly, but her eyes came back to me. She was intrigued. Hook, line, sinker. I brought her to the kitchen, poured some juice, and let her ask me her questions. They were predictable for the situation, so I answered easily. I enjoyed watching the different emotions go across her face, though the look of resignation that followed our Q&A wasn’t one I liked. Finally, she asked the big question. Why I had used her in the coffee shop. I’d already touched base on that, but now… now it was time to make an excuse just to be with her.
“I want you to be my girlfriend.”
She swayed in her chair, and one of my security team laughed as he got himself food and exited the kitchen.
“It’s not for real,” I told her, and gave her Hyuna as an excuse. I explained what I’d need from her, and she was quick to ask what she’d get in return. I wanted her to do my album work.
“There’s just one thing, though.” “What is it?” “You can’t fall in love with me.” Chances were, once I was done here, I wouldn’t be back to this town. I knew I was already attached to this girl, but there was no way I’d put her through this, too. If she didn’t fall in love, I wouldn’t have to break both our hearts.
I don’t know what happened. We’d been having a good day. I had shown her a very special place to me. I don’t know the exact moment, but I’d seen the change. It was gradual, but after the initial shock, I was about to see how closed off she became. She’d packed up her things, announced she needed to get back, and that was that. I didn’t even know what to ask. She dropped me off at the hotel, and for all the worry I felt, I still had to assure her somehow that it was going to be okay. Whatever it was… I held her hands, I smiled. But she was still so closed off. There was nothing I could do. I left her.
She didn’t answer my calls, didn’t respond to my texts. I stopped by a class to see if she was alright, but she stayed behind to talk to a professor. She seemed healthy, at least. After that, I didn’t go back. I couldn’t go back. I had the feeling she was avoiding me. I wasn’t sure what to do at all.
It had taken my friends coming to the hotel to drag me out to realize what was wrong. We were at the coffee shop. I kept looking at the door every time it opened, hoping it would be Alexis. It never was, I don’t know what I should’ve expected.
“I think we know what’s up.” N grabbed my attention away from the door as another person (Not Alexis) walked in. I saw Leo nodding next to him, sipping his caramel macchiato. How did they know the problem when I didn’t?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” In reality, I just wanted them to tell me what was going on.
“Man, it’s so obvious.” I looked at Hongbin, who looked exasperated. “You love her, don’t you?” Well…
Ken laughed, shaking his head. “So in love. It’s written all over your face. Just tell her.”
“She won’t even talk to me.” “So, what the hell did you do?” N shot Hyuk a glare for swearing, but he kept going. “I mean, seriously dude. What the fu-” This time N actually reached over the table to tip the brim of Hyuk’s hat down.
“Your mom taught you better.” A least Hyuk looked guilty as he adjusted his hat. But it still didn’t answer my problems. Why was Alexis avoiding me?
“I told her not to fall in love with me, you know I’m gonna be leaving. How am I gonna put her through this shit I’m dealing with?”
Hyuk rolled his eyes, but Leo leaned across the table. “That’s it, then. That’s the problem!”
“It is?” “Yeah. You’re an idiot, Wonshik.” I ignored him. “Girl loves you, too. And you opened your big mouth and told you not to.”
Well, damn.
