From the hit author of "Malkuth Alert" comes four more! Plus the original. (I had to make a new playthrough to get more of the relevant screenshots to edit, that's why there's a discrepancy in the background characters. Also the minor size differences in certain bits.)
medals i drummed up using official art and sprites plus my own editing wizardry! I've posted some of the components on their own before, but here's the complete medals.
Names of the fellows under the cut
left to right, by column, we have:
"Shoyu" the Thurston | Doople the Doppelnyan
Coffee the Komajiro | Cookie the Komasan
Hernest the Herbiboy | Timibold the Beelzebold | Melly the Completely Normal Frostina
thalassa and her friends try to set up the preliminary stages of a database of information on Parasitic Armaments. Considering the draconian nature of the folks upstairs, the affair is rather secretive.
Half character-writing exercise for me, half curiosity-piquing stuff for everyone else.
im working on the visual stuff for my new blog. unfortunately i want to keep it all secret so instead im going to share some "desktop wallpapers" that i basically put in a slideshow when i want to play music
so im starting to see the issues of doing all my writing exclusively in notepad... regardless. enjoy this. its fanfiction(???)
specifically! The Swirlies Go Interrogate The Leader Of Organized Crime In BBQ.
[Scene: Swirlies HQ.]
[Cookie is packing a wide and strange array of objects into his bag. A plunger… A barbecue fork… A spool of fishing twine….]
[Coffee, for once, is relaxing in front of the TV next to Hernest, who is ostensibly doing some kind of project on his laptop. Coffee does not look away as he says--]
COFFEE: "Bro, what's the fussin' for?"
COOKIE: "Oh, uh! …Me n' some of the gang are gonna be doin' our first interrogation, an' I dunno what to bring… so I'm jus' bringin' it all."
[Timibold, from the dining room, spits out his drink.]
TIMIBOLD: "E-erm… Cookie… Then… uh… then, why are… why are you bringing a… a-a p-p-plunger…?"
COOKIE: "S-see?! I jus' don't know what you use for one'a these!!!
HERNEST: "Torture implements, typically. Most modern ones forgo that, though."
COFFEE: "Who we interrogatin' anyway?"
[Melly hops down from upstairs.]
MELLY: "Ghoulfather! 'Cus last Terror Time we found those funny Ghoulies skulking around! Not normal."
[Coffee's eyes bug out of his head.]
COFFEE: "THE Ghoulfather?!"
TIMIBOLD: "M-m-m-my… m-my thoughts e-e-exactly…!"
COOKIE: "We ain't got no other leads on the Terror Time upticks! Plus, ain't part of the reason these Terror Times are so funny is 'cuz they're happenin' in BBQ, too?"
COFFEE: "They could be happenin' in CLUVIA fer all I care…! Ain't no way yer marchin' up to the Ghoulfather's doorstep fer no reason…!!!!"
MELLY: "But we haaaaave a reason, doofus."
[Coffee leaps from the couch. Hernest nearby barely reacts.]
COFFEE: "YOU KNOW WHAT I MEEEAN!!!"
[Shoyu and Dooplecat's turn to march downstairs. Dooplecat has cucumber slices over his eyes, he's so tired.]
DOOPLECAT: "Whuzzis about a Toolfather… nyan…"
HERNEST: "Ghoulfather. Kingpin of organized crime in BBQ and Neo Youmakai. …FORMER, kingpin."
DOOPLECAT: "…Was that a guy who went bada-bing?"
MELLY: "Yup, that was the word he loved!"
SHOYU: "Mannnnnn… I HATED that guy."
DOOPLECAT: "Yea, there's only so myany times you can hear 'bout UFOs and stuff in a century before it starts melding together, nya…"
[The whole room turns to look at Shoyu and Dooplecat.]
DOOPLECAT: "…I get the feeling we just said somethin' funny again…"
TIMIBOLD: "A-a-a-a-are you… are you… a-a-a-a-a… are… a-a-a-are you--"
COFFEE: "ARE YOU IMPLYIN' YOU FELLAS KNEW THE FREAKIN' GHOULFATHER?!"
[Coffee shouts so loud he screams the cucumbers and also the mask right off Dooplecat and Shoyu.]
DOOPLECAT: "Myeek! Nyot intimately, sheesh! He was the guy next mat over!"
SHOYU: "As if just living next to each other makes you friends… Blizzie and Denden are living proof…"
TIMIBOLD: "I-I-I-I mean… u-um… if… if he w-w-was, spilling his… s-s-spilling his heart out… l-like that… You m-must have… must have… um, m-must have done something. U-um, to make him l-like you, I mean."
HERNEST: "Tracks, with the type of guy he is."
SHOYU: "…Repeatedly rambling to us about aliens is opening his heart…?"
MELLY: "Let's save that conversation for later. Cookie, put away the torture implements! We don't need 'em!"
[Cookie, who completely tuned this conversation out, looks to Melly, carrying an armful of… Italian cuisine implements.]
TIMIBOLD: "…U-u-um… how is… how are pasta noodles… t-torture implements…?"
COOKIE: "…I was gonna make spaghetti wrong in front of 'im…"
MELLY: "Silly Cookie! Spaghetti-with-meatballs is more of a BBQ thing anyway! That's like trying to make a leprechaun mad by drinking a Shamrock Shake!"
TIMIBOLD: "N-no, I… I think… I think they have the r-r-right idea…"
COOKIE: "Well, okay then!"
[Cookie drops all the stuff on the floor.]
COOKIE: "Bro, c'mon, you gotta drive us to the Infinite Inferno!"
COFFEE: "WHA-HUH?!"
[Coffee blinks incredulously.]
COFFEE: "W-w-weren't you goin' 'with some other guys?!'"
COOKIE: "Yea, an' one of em was gonna be you!"
COFFEE: "N-n-n-nuh-uh! WWYW is on in 10 minutes! It's The King Of Blood-Sweat-And-Tears versus Iridescent Downswing! I have been waitin' ALL MONTH for this one!"
HERNEST: "I can tape it for you."
COFFEE: "That ain't the SAME as seein' it as it happens…!"
MELLY: "Oh well! Doople, you drive."
DOOPLECAT: "EHEHEHEHE!!!!!"
COFFEE: "HE IS NOT LAYIN' A PAW ON THAT STEERIN' WHEEL!!!"
[Coffee immediately dashes out the door, leaving a comical Coffee-shaped puff behind.]
DOOPLECAT: "…Aw."
MELLY: "One day, Doople… one day…"
----------------
[Cut to a room in the Infinite Inferno…]
DOOPLECAT: "…Right, right… No snark, got it…"
TIMIBOLD: "A-a-a-and if he s-s-starts…. if he… i-i-if he starts… talking about a-a-a-aliens…!"
SHOYU: "…Be gentle about getting back on track, yeah, yeah…"
DOOPLECAT: "Why do we even gotta worry about bein polite to a crime boss, nyanyway…?"
TIMIBOLD: "I-I-I-I-IT'S ABOUT THE F-F-F-F-F-FACT-- HE'S A-- HE'S-- HE-- HE'S--HE--HE--"
MELLY: "He's a crime boss! Timmy's worried if we're rude we might get Ghoulies on our doorsteps."
TIMIBOLD: "WORSEORORORWORSEORWORSE!!!!!!"
COOKIE: "N-n-now now, you two…! J-j-j-jus' c-c-c-cus he's… he's… he's a real powerful g-g-guy… don't mean nothin' a-a-a-about how nice we g-g-g-gotta treat 'im…!"
COFFEE: "S-s-s-says… says… the one… q-q-q-q-quakin' in his b-b-b-boots…!"
MELLY: "…Y'know what, I think you three can just stay out here."
[Cookie and Timibold both exhale in relief. Coffee pretends to stifle a yawn to do the same.]
MELLY: "Tell Bison Bully I say hi~! Okay, Team Crime, let's get in there."
[Melly opens a sliding door and gestures for Shoyu and Doople to walk in. And so they do.]
[It would appear an interrogation room has been set up. Or… an interrogation-floating-mat. Really, what's the difference when talking Infinite Inferno?]
[And who else would it be sitting at the back? He's not even chained or anything.]
THE GHOULFATHER: "Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in…"
DOOPLECAT: "Did you take one look'it me and immediately decide to make a cat-dragged-in joke? Whadda joik, nya."
MELLY: "Now, now, Mr. Ghoulfather, I'm sure you'd prefer this to… whatever the heck Cookie was planning."
SHOYU: "Melly, I'm sure that breaking spaghetti wouldn't--"
[The Ghoulfather winces.]
[…Shoyu blinks.]
SHOYU: "…Okay."
[He then clears his throat.]
SHOYU: "So… uh… Ghoulfather. How… aware of stuff outside the Inferno are you?"
THE GHOULFATHER: "…I have contacts. Sporadic contacts… but contacts. Why do ya ask?"
SHOYU: "Are you aware of the--"
MELLY: "Was it YOU behind the mysterious Ghoulie outbreak during February 15th's Terror Time?!"
[Melly points decisively. Shoyu facepalms.]
SHOYU: "…I was going to build up to that…"
THE GHOULFATHER: "…The WHA?"
MELLY: "February! 15th! Terror Time that day had a mysteeeeerious outcry of 'baa-bings!' and 'buddabings.' and all the rest, and when we got there! It was Ghoulie central! You're the head of the Ghoulfamily! What gives?!"
[The Ghoulfather stands up and glowers at Melly; he is MUCH taller than even Shoyu.]
THE GHOULFATHER: "And WHY do ya think I could mobilize my men IN JAIL?! For all I know those fellas went out an' started an ice cream shop without me!"
MELLY: "They coulda been trying to get you outta here!"
THE GHOULFATHER: "You little--! OBVIOUSLY, dat didn't work!"
MELLY: "WE--"
[Shoyu puts his hand on Melly's head. They completely freeze.]
DOOPLECAT: "So much for bein' nice to the Ghoulfather… Ahem!"
[Doople smiles nervously at the Ghoulfather.]
DOOPLECAT: "Let's put this a lil' differently, nya. Have any'a your 'contacts' said or done anythin' weird on or around Febbery 15th?"
[The Ghoulfather narrows his eyes.]
DOOPLECAT: "…I take it that's a no?"
THE GHOULFATHER: "…Gimmie one reason I shouldn't clean your clocks."
DOOPLECAT: "B-because…!"
SHOYU: "…We have a bunch of the issues of 'Fancy That!' that you missed."
[And with that, the Ghoulfather lights up like a Christmas tree.]
THE GHOULFATHER: "REALLY?"
[Shoyu takes out Issue 100.]
[Dooplecat sputters.]
DOOPLECAT: "…Where did you get that?"
SHOYU: "Hernest gets like 5 copies of every issue. I figured he wouldn't mind having 4 of a couple of them."
DOOPLECAT: "He's--?! Y'know what, nyever mind."
[Dooplecat turns to The Ghoulfather again.]
DOOPLECAT: "If you tell us honestly what you knyow surroundin' the events of Febbery 15th, we'll… well, we'll see what we can do about bein' your Fancy That suppliers, kapeesh?"
SHOYU: "W-wait. Isn't that--"
[Dooplecat mimes shushing to Shoyu. Amusingly, so does the Ghoulfather.]
SHOYU: "…Y'know, in a world where you can go to jail for what I did, fine. General Steiner deserves to have a little egg on his face anyway."
[Shoyu sighs and passes Issue 100 to the Ghoulfather.]
SHOYU: "We'll give you, like, 30 minutes to read that before coming back."
THE GHOULFATHER: "EEE!!! Er…! I mean…! Very well….!"
[Team Crime leaves The Ghoulfather to his magazine.]
[T'is only now that Shoyu lifts his hand from Melly's head.]
MELLY: "-LL THEN-- oh, we're already done?"
TIMIBOLD: "H-H-H-H-HOW?!"
DOOPLECAT: "Nyot done yet."
SHOYU: "We bribed him with one of Hernest's magazines."
TIMIBOLD: "…What?"
COOKIE: "Ooooooh, I don't think Hernest is gonna like that…!"
COFFEE: "Or the Inferno folks…!"
SHOYU: "Well, what are they gonna do? Send us to jail AGAIN?"
COFFEE: "…W-wait, then, if The Ghoulfather is a criminal in BBQ, why's he in a joint made for Springdale criminals, anyway…?"
MELLY: "Ask that to Mass Mutterer…"
SHOYU: "Little hypocrite Melly here did get us one thing, though: he wasn't behind the Ghoulie outbreak. At least, definitely not directly."
COFFEE: "Don't change the subject…!"
COOKIE: "Uh, but this'n's what we even came here for…"
DOOPLECAT: "He's got contacts, though! We gotta be askin' about the contacts, nya!"
TIMIBOLD: "H-h-h-hey, shouldn't we… um… w-w-w-warn Bison Bully, o-o-or General Steiner… about that…?"
SHOYU: "……."
DOOPLECAT: "Don't be a narc."
TIMIBOLD: "B-b-b-but--"
DOOPLECAT & SHOYU: "DON'T. Be a NARC."
TIMIBOLD: "EEEP! Okay! O-o-o-okay!"
MELLY: "…Wait, why did we even leave in the first place?"
DOOPLECAT: "This is his first Fancy That in, what, 20 years? We gotta let the man read his myagazine in peace, nya."
SHOYU: "And after that dogwater interrogation, Melly, YOU are NOT going back in there."
MELLY: "…Hehehe… Sorry, I got excited…"
----------------
[Cut to roughly 30 minutes later…]
[We're back in the interrogation-room-mat. Shoyu and Dooplecat are back…]
DOOPLECAT: "…I wasn't aware dey found Elvis Nyasada alive in a bunker, either."
THE GHOULFATHER: "I KNEW IT! I KNEW HE WASN'T DEAD!!!"
SHOYU: "…That was interesting and all, but we do kind of have a crime to investigate."
THE GHOULFATHER: "…Right. Right…"
[The Ghoulfather straightens his tie.]
THE GHOULFATHER: "February 15th. Ghoulies outbreak. What do I know dat might correlate ta that…"
SHOYU: "It was during a Terror Time, if it helps. Over at Blossom Heights."
THE GHOULFATHER: "Terror Time, Terror Time… AHA. So, you fellas have been outta the slammer for a while, right? So have ya heard of Sidetrack Street?"
DOOPLECAT: "Er… Someone I know does reviews of restaurants there, nya…"
THE GHOULFATHER: "It's a carnival all year 'round there. It's called such 'cuz it's easy to lose track of why you went. Me 'n the boys used'ta frequent this one joint there… Flower View Fishery. Had enough different dishes and enough room to satisfy everyone, yeah?"
DOOPLECAT: "Ya-huh, ya-huh…"
SHOYU: "…What does this have to do with the situation…?"
THE GHOULFATHER: "I'm GETTIN' THERE. …Well, I was also buddy-buddy with the owner. He showed up on the 13th. Asked me a few questions about why I stopped comin', and left almost as soon as he came."
SHOYU: "…Huh."
THE GHOULFATHER: "The fact he used the same channels as the rest of my sources tells me the fella wasn't always on the legal side of the law. Maybe still ain't."
DOOPLECAT: "Huh. So maybe, then, he hired a buncha your guys to cause trouble?"
THE GHOULFATHER: "Wouldn't put it past 'im! Part of why we were buds was that he wasn't afraid ta take opportunites."
SHOYU: "That's definitely more than what we had, yeah. Do you know the guy's name?"
THE GHOULFATHER: "……………."
DOOPLECAT: "…………I take dat as a no."
[The Ghoulfather collapses to his knees in despair…]
THE GHOULFATHER: "What kinda guy forgets the name of someone he talks with on the regular?!"
SHOYU: "Look, uh, Ghoulfather, that's a classic mistake. We'll be able to find the place."
DOOPLECAT: "Assumin' we don't get sidetracked on Sidetrack Street!"
SHOYU: "Uh… y-yeah."
THE GHOULFATHER: "I ain't supposed to be the type of guy to make those mistakes!!!"
[…Dooplecat and Shoyu look at each other.]
DOOPLECAT: "…We'll leave ya to yer breakdown."
SHOYU: "Oh, and here's the rest of the Fancy That, as promised."
[Shoyu takes out a gigantic stack of Fancy That issues and leaves them for the Ghoulfather to take as the duo make their leave…]
