Scraping in last minute with a Kisame Week 2022 submission for day four prompt one What Makes a Monster a Monster âš
Read on AO3
Pairing: Kisame x OC
Rating: General
Chapter: 1/?
Summary:
Kisame moved to rest against the stone wall, placing Samehada close by as the fire lost its flame and began to burn more sluggishly, letting the darkness creep further past the mouth of the cave. All the while, he sensed the eyes on him from just beyond the caveâs entrance.ïżŒ
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Chapter three is here! To refresh your memories, here is the link to chapter one and chapter two
Chapter 3: Mother Knows Best
Sunday January 17th, 2016
11:30 AM
 Kisame Hoshigaki was a mamaâs boy. As an only child whose father was building his business empire during the early years of his life, Kisame spent a lot of time with his mother growing up. His mother, unlike the mothers of his friends had come from a more humble background and thus didnât rely on nannies or housekeepers to raise her son; as such they were very close. So close in fact, that Kisame had gone home to spend time with his mother every Sunday without fail since he moved out. Thatâs not to say that he didnât go home more often than that, but Sundays for the Hoshigaki family were special mother son days and had been for almost his entire life. When he was young they were dedicated to special trips or outings, and now that he was older he treated his mom to lunch, maybe some time out on the town, or a simple afternoon at home just catching up before the small family ate dinner together. It wasnât that Kisame didnât have a good relationship with his father, he was supportive in his own way, talked to him about girls and whatnot, and they shared a love of marine life.
It was almost noon when Kisame pulled through the gate and up the driveway of his parentâs home, stomach growling as the smell of garlic chicken Alfredo, and chicken and shrimp carbonara filled his car. Heâd stopped by his motherâs favorite Italian place just as it was opening and put in their usual order, heâd even gotten extra soup, breadsticks and desserts because his spirits were so high. His date, minus a small hiccup (which turned out really good for him, heâd gotten a very nice shock at the kiss Sachiko had given him before running off to her roommate) had been, as cheesy as it sounds, the best date heâd ever been on. Â He was humming the same catchy song non stop since he dropped Sachiko off, the same song that came on as she shut the door of his truck. It was like the radio had read his soul, giving him exactly what he needed.
âIâm already thinking âbout you and me getting out of here and taking a drive,â Kisame sung under his breath as he walked up to the door. Kisame had been too busy watching Sachiko walk away with her friends out of the garage, and was glad he did because he got to see her turn and wave, but between watching her and his thoughts the idea of actually looking to see what the song was completely slipped his mind. He was kicking himself for half an hour as he flipped through his presets trying to find it again. The song was quickly purchased, and the ring tone was still tempting him. He resisted though, reminding himself that Sachiko wasnât his girlfriend (yet) and so her messages were given their own ringtone, specific to her, but from the provided tones that came with his phone.
Just as he was reaching for the handle the door opened.
âHi Pumpkin! Come in, come in, itâs cold!â
âMa, Iâm in Graduate School, I havenât been a Pumpkin for a while,â Kisame groused good-naturedly as he walked through the door and placed a kiss on his motherâs cheek. Aiko Hoshigaki was a short woman compared to her son and husband but in reality was five foot eight, and while she didnât pass height onto her son, she did pass on her eyes and work ethic. She had been working as an assistant to an accountant while trying to put herself through pastry school when she met Kisameâs father. Her face was kind and the beginnings of laugh lines were beginning to show.
âYouâll always be Pumpkin, baby, no matter if youâre three or three hundred,â His mother sassed, taking a bag and walking with him to the dining room. Kisame began taking the food out and his mother went to get silverware, unaware that heâd been humming. âYouâre in a good mood,â His mother chimed from behind him.
âI had a good day yesterday Ma. How have you been?â
âIâm good, how was your date?â his mother inquired, buzzing with excitement. Kisame stopped what he was doing, take out container still in his hand as it hovered just above the table.
âHow did you know I went on a date yesterday?â Kisame mentally backtracked, he was sure he didnât tell his mother about it, and no one that they saw yesterday would have told her about it. Kisame purposely didnât mention the date as to not get his or his overzealous motherâs hopes up. A sly grin stretched across her face, looking much like the cat who got the canary.
âI couldnât reach you on your cell last night, so I called your apartment and you would not believe what Itachi-chan told me! He told me that my wonderful, ONLY child went on a date, and didnât tell me, his mother about it!â The look on her face wasnât just of the cat that got the canary, but the cream too.
Itachi, you little weasel, Kisame mentally cussed his roommate five ways to Sunday.
âI was a first date, Ma, didnât want to get either of our hopes up.â Kisame explained as he sat down. His mother was practically vibrating as the next in what was sure to be a long series of questions tumbled out her mouth.
âWell, did it go well?â she asked, but her question was followed by a high pitched squeal as he nodded before she could even finish asking. Kisame pushed a finger into his ear and shook it, trying to dispel the ringing. âTell me EVERYTHING, Kisame, and I mean everything!â
And so he did. He spilled his guts like a bunch of preteen girls on a sleep over.
âMa, I thought the whole night was screwed when we got to the bus stop and it was pulling away. Why the hell doesnât the University have later buses? Anyway, I drove her to a parking garage on campus and her roommate and a friend met her there.â Kisame cleared his throat, a slight blush dusting his cheeks. âShe kissed my cheek before hopping out of the truck.â  By this time they were making their way through dessert and he was staring intently down atâŠwhatever this chocolate thing was. A calculating and protective look flashed across his motherâs face.
âYou really like this girl, donât you? She sounds nice,â She stated as she took a bite of her own dessert.
âSheâs great, we talk just about every day, I want to ask her out again, but our first date was yesterday and I donât want to come off as pushy.â He ran a hand through his hair. âShe has no idea about Mist, about what dad does. I get to be a normal guy with her Ma, and I love it, but what if I screw up? She didnât even know I was on the swim team.â Kisame poured his heart out, sending a hopeless glance to his phone. However his phone, being an inanimate object didnât feel obliged to answer his silent prayer and stayed silent from its spot next to his plate. At his admission the protectiveness receded from his motherâs eyes.
âSo how did you two meet?â she questioned, face softening with the realization that her baby just might be in love, well, maybe not love, but there was definitely a shine to her son that wasnât there before. And so she listened to the tale, scoffing at Sasukeâs rudeness and nodding proudly at her sonâs insistence of replacing the girlâs drink after chuckling at his clumsiness at knocking it to the floor in the first place.
âIt took a bit for her to finally warm up to me and tell me what was really wrong, because no one could really get THAT upset over coffee, right? Turns out she was stood up. Can you believe it Ma; some idiot actually stood her up!â Kisame exclaimed angrily before going on to tell her about how they sat and talked before Sachiko had to run to class. As Kisame talked and talked his mother relaxed more and more. Sure, she was going to have a full background check done, but Kisame didnât need to know that.
âYou should ask her to come to your swim meet, your father and I wonât be able to make it because of a charity event, so it would be nice to have someone there to cheer you on, huh?â At his nod she pressed on. âAsk her NOW, Kisame.â She sent him an indulgent smile that let him know this wasnât something she was going to let go. Grudgingly Kisame unlocked his phone and began to type.
[Kisame] Hey, if you arenât doing anything next Saturday, would you like to come to my Swim Meet? Itâs at 1.
He and his mother stared at the phone like a bomb about to go off in their faces. Her customized chime went off much quicker than expected.
[Sachiko] Iâd love to!
However, before Kisame could text her back, his phone was snatched from his hand and his mother danced out of reach, typing as she went. âAnd send!â she exclaimed.
[Kisame] I could tell you about it over lunch?
Kisame went as pale as a ghost.
âMa, what did you just do? Mom, mother, please give me my phone. Â What did you do?â Kisame tried getting his phone, but wouldnât be able to unless he grabbed his mom first, and grown man or not, he would get his ass beat if he ever man handled his mother, joking around or not. Kisame knew he was a big man and could very easily hurt someone if he wasnât careful. He froze, still as a statue when his phone chimed again. Grinning, his mother read aloud.
[Sachiko] Sounds great =) Does Tuesday work for you? I promised Tenten weâd get sushi tomorrow.
âSounds great. Oh look she put a smiley face honey, and she uses the equals sign when she makes it, thatâs cute. Does Tuesday work for you? I promised Tenten weâd get sushi tomorrow. Whoâs Tenten?â Still grinning she fought the urge to read over their previous texts; though she did spy the goodnight texts they sent each other.
âTenten is her roommate. What sounds great, what did you say? Mother give me my phone please.â Kisame would later deny that the sound that just left his mouth was a whine; it was not a whine, just a desperate request from an exasperated son to a meddling mother.
âYour lovely mother just got you a lunch date for Tuesday; oh I canât wait to tell your father! Have you told Zabuza and Haku about her?â She was very proud of herself when she finally handed his phone back to him.
âNo Way! Zabuza would have spent every swim practice giving shitty-â
âKisame, language!â
â-sorry Ma, bad advice, and Haku, has Haku even been on a date?â Kisame pondered his own question for a moment.
âWell, Zabuza probably isnât the best guy to go to for dating advice. I love your cousin but he goes through girlfriends like tissues. As for poor Haku, itâs been a while, Zabuza scares off every boy he brings home.â Â She tutted softly and shook her head. Kisame might be an only child, but he and his two cousins were as close as any brothers could be. Zabuza and Haku were the sons of Kisameâs uncle, Zabuza being only a year old than Kisame, and Haku being two years younger. While his uncle was older, and had a different father and last name, the Momochi and Hoshigaki families were as close as could be and would continue to be through the generations.
The cousins had been in swimming programs together as far back as any of them could remember and worked well as a team. Their closeness had some drawbacks though. Kisame, and especially Zabuza were very protective of Haku, first because he took after his delicate mother, then later their protectiveness skyrocketed when he came out as gay. Zabuza had even been suspended from school at one point for putting a bully in his place. Â There was no one more precious to Zabuza than Haku, and he wasnât about to let anyone say a bad word about him or hand his innocent baby brother to just anyone who showed interest. No, Zabuza had very high standards for any would be suitor to fill when it came to his brother, though no real standards to speak of when it came to himself. Â
The rest of the visit consisted of the two of them sharing dessert and his mother giving unwanted dating advice on top of their normal weekly catch up. Kisame considered the events of the day over and over as he began the journey back to his apartment. If not for Itachi and his mother, he might not have gotten the courage to ask Sachiko out until the next time he saw her, and who knows when that would have been? Now not only was he seeing her on Tuesday but she was also coming to his swim meet. Figuring that it was only fair to treat his roommate, Kisame stopped at a little hole in the wall sweet shop by the police station. If Itachi was to be believed they supposedly made the best dango in the entire city, and when it came to dango he really was an expert. He acquired two sticks of the tricolored confections before continuing on. Itachi was looking over some files at the kitchen table when he got home.
âHey tattle-tale,â Kisame called out to him as he kicked his shoes off and hung his jacket on his hook. Itachi didnât even look up from whatever he was working on.
âHn. Answer your phone next time.â Itachi turned a page and squinted at the text.
âWho pissed in your morning tea? And wear your glasses, squinting is bad for your eyes.â That got him what he called Itachiâs trademark âI donât have time for your shitâ look.
âYou arenât my Oka-san Kisame. â Â
âYou donât know where your glasses are, do you?â
âHn.â Â Nope, Itachi didnât know.
âTheyâre in the medicine cabinet. But because of that attitude Iâll just have to eat these myself.â Kisame gave a grin, all teeth and pulled that take out bag from behind his back.
âAre those-â
âYes, they are from that place you like,â Kisame answered him before the question was even finished and Itachiâs eyes followed the bag like a bloodhound on a scent.  Kisame really shouldnât have so much fun teasing Itachi, but there were so few things the Uchiha got truly worked up about. No, only someone with a death wish would get between Itachi Uchiha and sweets. Kisame watched Itachi gather his things and go to his room, making a pit-stop at the bathroom to grab his glasses.  He knew that Itachi would not emerge from his room until he was finished  with whatever work he was doing when Kisame came home.
 Sunday January 17th, 2016
10:30 PM
Itachi Uchiha rubbed under his eyes, tired but satisfied that he was finished reviewing the cases his father had him look over. Â Heâd make his family proud, but the weight of being an Uchiha prodigy was getting heavier by the day. The harder he worked, the better of a life Sasuke got, but Itachi was starting to consider that maybe he spoiled his precious otouto a little too much. The elders were shifting the focus of their pressures lately, heâd proven he could live up to their expectations both professionally and academically so their focus was shifting to his personal life. Resigning himself that this was just too much to think about right now, Itachi poured the hot water for his evening tea and opened the fridge to get the milk. There, sitting innocently on the top shelf was the same bag from earlier, but now it had a note stapled to the front. Reaching out he plucked the note with nimble fingers. Written in Kisameâs neat script was the following message.
Got another date Tuesday, so thanks, Weasel.
Theyâre all yours.
Opening the bag, Itachi looked upon the two perfect sticks of dango with the same fondness that a mother looked upon her newborn child.