One time Ben called Hi “Bye” for a week when he was annoyed at him. The only reason he stopped was because Hi found N’SYNC’s song Bye Bye Bye and played it nonstop for the next hour
Hi says “Jesus Christ” a lot
Actually he’s just constantly forgetting he’s supposed to be Jewish in general
Shelton is the tech L O R D but Tory owns his ass in video games
She just owns them in general honestly
One time when teasing Tory and Ben about their future kids Hi said, “Yeah, and me and Shelton will be their gay uncles!” and nobody mentioned it at the time but Shelton couldn’t stop thinking about it for weeks
I really feel as though Shelton is on the aro/ace spectrum omg does anyone else get demiromantic vibes?
Whitney cornered Ben about Tory once and she called Tory her daughter by accident
When Ben mentioned it in passing to Tory she was super embarrassed
(He was actually really scared)
But during that conversation Whitney learned Ben’s favorite food
Which Tory didn’t know at the time
So she was really insistent that Tory learn the recipe
And they cooked together and then she’s like “oh there’s too much why don’t you take some over to that boyfriend of yours?”
Whitney is not dumb don’t even think for a minute she is
Ben jokingly asks Tory to marry him
Hi has proposed to Tory more than once and one time she said yes and Ben just threw something at the two of them
(her apology to Ben was a really hot make out session after until she mentioned Hi which was n o t a good move)
Madison has a secret Tumblr that nobody knows about and she and Tory are mutuals
One time she posts a super artsy picture of Tory from the back and Tory recognizes it
Madison 200% is a good photographer I mean she was part of the Tri-Pod (get it that was a really bad pun)
There’s no mention of it after but for Madison’s birthday Tory and Ella pitch in to get her a digital camera
(because Ella and Madison eventually become friends honestly Tory needs all the girlfriends she can get)
Jason is bisexual
Morris Island is pretty much only accessible by boat which is super inconvenient but also leads to a hell of a lot of texting
But also if Tory hangs out with Ella or Madison after school it morphs into a sleepover
One time she forgets to remind Kit though and he calls her but she left her phone like downstairs or something and doesn’t pick up
He goes to Ben like ??? is she here???
Ben’s like “what no it’s a sleepover”
Super awkward exchange honestly
Like Kit is like oh right I forgot
(wait why did I think she’d be sleeping over at Ben’s house what was I thinking OH MY GOD WHAT IF SOMEDAY SHE SAYS SHE’S GOING TO ELLA’S BUT SPENDS THE NIGHT WITH BEN)
Awkward father 11/10
After that he resolves that it’s a better idea to check with Hi or Shelton
Remember how in Code they mention that there’s like 6 Tumblrs devoted to the trial with the Gamemaster?
Well Tory follows all of them and one of them starts shipping her and Ben and she just sends in an anonymous ask like why? and gets like an MLA formatted 10 source 15 paragraph research paper
(not actually but it’s a super long list of reasons)
She sees one of them that she hadn’t considered and the next time she meets Ben she becomes hyper aware it’s super awkward and then she finally tells him
(another hot make out session until she mentions that the Tumblr account would love to see it and b a m bad move Tory is the queen of killing the moment)
One time the Trinity and the pack are talking and Will says something and Shelton just is like, “Will Speckman, what the heck, man?” and that becomes a meme
M E M E S
Hi is the king of memes
He is the meme lord
He threatens to wear a dat boi costume to some event
Just honestly man what a dude
Ben is secretly a Buzzfeed addict
Like you know that thing where it’s like “What are you looking at?” “[taking a Buzzfeed quiz to find out what candle I am] Porn.”
That’s him
Conspiracy t h e o r i e s
Nobody knows about their new flaring abilities which is really annoying
But at the same time it leaves a lotta room for headcanon
Like I’ve headcanoned them before but I will again it’s most certainly not Terminal but it makes things weird
Because they’re trying to make sure they don’t get bloodwork or anything
ANYWAY super fast forward to years in the future
And they can’t go see doctors for normal problems
They get used to it but like
P r e g n a n c y
But because of this I feel like Shelton would totes go through med school
‘Cause you know our man is way smart and can do it
Like can you imagine going to the doctor
“Shelton I think she’s in labor” “It’s Braxton-Hicks go away I’m busy Ben”
Anyway Kit texts his daughter, y’know, a reasonable amount
Hi decides to teach him some abbreviations
Except he teaches him them wrong
Like he tells Kit that “smh” stands for “so much hate” and not “shaking my head”
Kit uses one for the first time and Tory replies with something like “no dad that’s wrong smh”
“Smh? You hate me?”
“Who taught you text speak???”
He never trusts Hi again
The guys have a group chat without Tory and it’s all well and good but they name it weird things
One day Tory is sending herself a message from Ben’s phone and she accidentally exits and she’s like ??? why is there a chat labelled “Ben can’t satisfy in bed” and why did the name just change to “Ben can’t even get a girl to bed” and why is the most recent message “lol true”?
She tentatively opens it up and when she does the next message pops up “Maybe that’s why Tory’s so grumpy all the time”
She never tells Ben she read it but she makes an off-hand remark and Shelton just turns to her, aghast, and is like “Please say you didn’t read all of the messages.”
She’s like what the hell have they talked about on there?
The entire group chat is just guys being dudes
But the part Shelton doesn’t want her to read is where he said he kind of wanted to be a gynecologist and 2 hours later he still hadn’t heard the end of it
HI/BEN/SHELTON GROUP CHAT SOMEONE WRITE A FIC ON THAT
I would kill for that honestly
This list is so long I hate you Kathy and Brendan Reichs for leaving so much out of the books
“Yeah, obviously. Of course I am. What makes you ask?”
Hi peered down at his friend, unbelieving. “The twenty one texts you sent me last night? Your Spotify says you listened to Fireproof on repeat last night. That’s your comfort song.”
“I-” Shelton made to reply, but was cut off by the violent crack of a firework outside the bunker.
Try as he might to hide it, Shelton’s flinch was more obvious than a pit stain on a plain white tee.
Hi narrowed his eyes at Shelton, and as if finding the answer he had been searching out, almost immediately softened “You don’t like fireworks. I almost forgot. I’m sorry, Shelly. It’s only the third and people have already started going crazy.“
Wordlessly, Hi sat on the floor behind the other boy, wrapping his arms around Shelton and resting his chin on his shoulder. “So I was listening to What Makes You Beautiful yesterday and thinking of you.”
Shelton let out a laugh, almost barking in nature. “You’re the cheesiest-”
“Just because almost half of my diet is cheese doesn’t make me cheesy, Shelby, we established this,” teased Hi with a laugh. “Else you’d be Zayn Malik.”
“I do not-!” Elbowing the boy behind him in the gut, Shelton tried to rein in the smile that threatened to betray and overwhelm his face.
“I’m wounded! I’ve been wounded!” cried Hi dramatically, clutching his gut. “I stand by what I said, though. Who couldn’t be drawn in by those delicious blue eyes-”
“They’re brown, you dolt,” interrupted Shelton.
“See? You’ve clearly been gazing into them.”
“Nah, there’s only one set of brown eyes I’m interested in.”
Gobsmacked, Hi pressed his palms to his cheeks, the epitome of shocked pride. “Was that cheesy? From you? I don’t know whether to be proud or avoid your house forever because I won’t be able to look your mother in the eye again, having changed her son as I have.”
“I think she’ll live.”
“Are you sure?”
“Hi, I’m pretty sure I can read. I’ve triple checked them all.”
“Ah, Tory, my dear, I could kiss you!” She laughed, holding the phone away from her ear as Hi made obscenely wet noises with his lips.
Kit walked through the living room at that moment and, upon hearing the imitation, mouthed, ‘Ben?’
It has yet to be said that there was ever a more laughable image than Tory’s red flush to match her hair, as she laughed in her discomfort, putting the phone back to her ear.
“Shut up, Hi.”
“You’re no fun. Been hanging with that Ben Blue too long. Don’t listen to him. He’ll never love you like I do.”
Tory rolled her eyes. “I’ll see you in ten, Hi.”
“It’s simply incredible! Mad props.” Hi aimed finger guns in the direction of Kit and Whitney. “You’ve outdone yourself, Hiram Stolowitski, you truly could not have found better people to plan this on such short notice.”
Hi responded to Ben with a light shove. “My idea. My credit. I even made a playlist. Do you even know how long it took? Almost as long as it does to perfect this hella sexy bod.”
“Shut up, Hi.”
“I’ll go grab the guest of honor!”
Kit was barbecuing while speaking with Linus Devers, Tory and Ben talking with Tom Blue (with Tory looking like she would, quite frankly, rather be somewhere else), Ruth Stolowitski and Whitney gossiping… meanwhile, Shelton and Hi were just walking onto the scene.
“What is this?”
Hi fought back the grin struggling to tug at the corners of his lips. “What do you mean, what is this? It’s a Morris Island personal barbeque.”
“How did I not hear about this?”
Practically dancing, and with it obvious in his voice, Hi singsonged, “It was only planned yesterday. We wanted to have something… independent from everyone else’s parties.”
“You’ve been holding that in since yesterday.”
“Wasn’t it good?” Hi grinned, holding up a peace sign. “I’m something’s Founding Father.”
Shelton shook his head. “You’re acting… odd. And knowing you, that’s incredibly frightening.”
Shrugging it off, the other boy only responded with a cryptic, “You’ll see.”
“Fireworks!” called out Tom Blue, uncharacteristically enthusiastic with the pyrotechnics in spite of his love of the sea. “Stand back.”
As Kit and Tom worked to set up the entertainment, Shelton instinctively reached for the nearest thing - which just happened to be Ben Blue’s hand.
Wordlessly, the older teen squeezed reassuringly as Hi returned from inside the house, holding a handful of cucumber slices from one of Whitney’s vegetable trays. “Oh boy, they’re starting. Cucumber?”
Shelton frowned at the way Hi seemingly cast aside the entire focus of their afternoon just the previous day, but accepted a slice, wincing as the firework was lit.
The world seemed to slow, Shelton’s hands seizing up, as the flare lit up the night sky - he waited, for the gun-like crack to pierce through the comforting tones of the music from the speakers - and his eyes squeezed shut in anticipation, waiting.
And waiting…
And waiting…
Frowning, Shelton excruciatingly popped open an eye, scanning the sky for the explosion that he hadn’t yet heard, and only catching a glimpse of falling sparks.
“What the-?”
Another firework went up as he tentatively opened the other eye, and watched as it exploded, with hardly a sound.
Risking a glance to his left, he saw Hi grin up at the colors flooding his vision.
Another two flares went up, red and green and blue stretching the stars almost silently, not even audible over the music.
Shelton took his hand from Ben’s and brought both up to cup Hi’s cheeks, pressing his lips insistently against cool.
“Come on, wrong type of fireworks,” murmured Ben, rolling his eyes at the two despite a broad smile lightening his dark features.
Hi was the one to break away, stupidly smiling as he kept his forehead pressed to Shelton’s.
“Thank you,” said Shelton.
“Do I taste like cucumber?”
“Why? Do I?”
“No. You taste like heaven, Shelton.”
As Tory and Ben simultaneously cringed, the two claimed each other again, entirely missing a full minute of the soundless sparks Hi had so carefully planned.
“Jesus Christ,” mumbled Hi as the two broke apart.
“Hi. You’re Jewish,” reminded Tory, her words falling on deaf ears.
And as her words could never stop Hiram’s antics, nothing in the world would keep Shelton’s head off of Hi’s shoulder, watching the light part the darkness in the sky.
“Happy Fourth of July,” whispered Hi. “They say it’s the gayest day of the year.”
“No shit,” murmured Shelton, rolling his eyes as he sighed, kissing Hi’s cheek and smirking at how it stretched when he smiled.
“Is that really how bad we are?” asked Ben, shaking his head.
“No, Benny. You’re worse.“
“Can it, Thickburger.”
Even so, there was little better than the way the two’s eyes were lit, and not just by the colors igniting the sky.
I’m gonna tag some people here that I think might enjoy this little ficlet - @themorrisislandpack, @shelton-devers, @viralgonepsych-o, @a-nimestuck, @quaintnessandqueerness, @parvovirusxpb-19, @eatsleepcringerepeat.