Well, it's been a day. Worked today and we had a massive storm. We kept losing power. (Unfortunately all the shouts of "If the power goes out we get to go home!" every time the building went dark and everybody's computer died were false. This is a hospital, we don't close for shit. Think the storm's gonna get us out of work? Nah. Did you forget about the backup generator?) Anyway, massive storm. There was a good solid 30 minutes where it was raining so hard we couldn't see the building that's like 50 yards away. Storms like that always make me feel shifty. And I've been missing my phantom limbs horribly. The rain started and I felt gryphon-shaped again and oh my god was that a relief.
And then I got home and opened my closet and the ceiling had fallen in and I could see daylight and I now have to wash practically every article of clothing I own, but you know. This is fine. Everything's fine. My wings are back, I'm gonna just focus on that and not the fact that I cannot sleep in my bedroom tonight because mildew and wet leaf smell. (For some reason there were a shitton of leaves up there. I don't even know.) I'm about ready to cry over all the laundry - of course I've been crying at the drop of a hat all week, so take that with a grain of salt - but my wings and my tail are back and I missed them so fucking much.
I just want to be me. I want to have my own phantom limbs. I want to be correctly the wrong shape. XD I am coming to appreciate my headmates more with each shitty thing that goes on (I know I posted about my cousin on my system blog, but Idk if I put that here) but I miss being me sometimes. Just me. I miss my wings and all the ridiculous things I do to accommodate the size of them, I miss the urge to roll around the yard every time I go outside, I miss the wanting to just curl up in the full bathtub and sleep there. It's the stupid, inconvenient things that I miss and I think that says a lot.
