#kitsyfluff

[kitsyfluff]

It’s been a while since I posted anything! here’s some of my latest digital works. I also did some oil paintings, i’ll post those seperately.

[sherlu]

I finally finish this commission!!! for @kitsyfluff im so proud! and i add a little shitty watermark, cause people told me that i should add those but i honestly dont like adding them, i might have to do a better one

[kitsyfluff]

My two oil paintings!

[kitsyfluff]

Apples painting, practice work.

[kitsyfluff]

[kitsyfluff]

Just finished printing this model of my sona

pose based on nanashi in Shin Megami Tensei 4 Apocalypse

[thatmew]

kitsyfluff replied to your post “I’m unhappy when I’m not being productive, but realizing I am...”

Why do you think you're incapable?

I wish I could properly explain in words but it’s like...my brain isn’t wired right or something.  Like, I’ve been at drawing since I was a little kid and taking it seriously since about 2006 or so.  I’ve been making music since about the same time.  Been writing personal essays for even longer.

But everything just comes out so...amateurish, my art and music especially.  It doesn’t look like the efforts of someone who’s been drawing for over a decade.  It’s junk, plain and simple.  And I just get so frustrated and discouraged even attempting to do any better when realizing I simply can’t.

I’ve taken art classes but my mind just refuses to absorb the knowledge.  It’s like a square peg in a round hole situation.  No matter how much I try to force myself to improve, it just can’t be done.  It’s like an endless cycle of trying but with no real sense of accomplishment.  Everyone always says practice is the key and that there’s no such thing as talent but I truly don’t believe it.  There are some artists on here whose age I simply cannot believe that draw amazingly well and not to discourage them but I can’t help but feel envious of that raw talent.  I simply don’t believe that whole ‘talent doesn’t exist’ thing that goes around every now and then.  It definitely exists and I simply don’t have it, no matter how hard I try.

All I want to do is make something I’m proud of before I die and as the years go by and by I’ve begun to realize it was just a silly pipe dream I had as a teenager that will never get realized.  I should live life as an adult like so many of my friends did years ago.  Creativity, as much as I would give anything for it to be so, simply isn’t for me, and it’s truly upsetting.  I absolutely despise being a mere consumer of the things I love so much but being unable to create.