#kitten stan

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

Okay, get this. Kitten stan but it's in the fifties. So stans like 5 or 6 or so, and he maybe tries to pickpocket (with his early childhood thieving instincts) some candy hanging out of a random old ladys purse. It then turns out that this random old lady is actually a witch, and to teach him a lesson curses him. Normally she'd use the tried and true week-long-lasting cat burglar curse, but since he's like a baby, she decides to use her diluted one-hour-lasting cat burglar curse potion as a slap on the wrist! So she sprays him, poof! Kitten stan! And she continues merrily on her way since it's the fifties and she doesn't really worry about child safety.

But wait! She's super old, and she grabbed one of her first trial cat potions by accident! Since its been sitting in her magic liminal space purse thing for like hundreds of years or something (idk) it's been fermenting! What effects used to last a mere 1 hour, now last a whopping 100,000 hours!! Good golly!

So stan is a cat who is NOT about to turn back anytime soon, the witch has gone on ro who knows where without a care in the world, and little Ford happens to walk out.

He thinks "omg cute baby cat! Who really likes me for some reason! Now I have two (2) friends! I'll keep you in the alley so ma and mostly pa can't tell me I can't keep you!"

This happiness is shortly lived, because stan doesn't show up. At all. His parents start freaking out, Ford starts freaking out, stan starts freaking out because as a little kid kitten he has no idea how to attempt communication. All is not well.

Eventually, stan is an official missing kid. Eventually eventually he is presumed dead or the like. A kindergartener doesn't have great prospects on his own. He's an unsolved case. Everyone is heartbroken, and Ford is allowed to keep stan during the height of it, because he really needs some emotional support and his parents are too messed up to really fight it when Ford all teary eyed holds up his baby alley cat and asks to keep him in the house "so he doesn't disappear too"

Eventually they move on as best they can. There's nothing else they can do. Maybe Ford wants to solve the case and find stan as he gets older, maybe it happened when he was young enough he decides to try and move on. Stan is a cat still, and he can't figure out how NOT to be a cat, so he kind of moves on too. He was little enough that he kind of adapts and just lives as a cat without too many problems. Life goes on.

It's senior year, Ford is getting ready to present the perpetual motion machine to west coast tech and start his future. He shows it off to his pet cat with the nerdist name a six year old can Come up with, who's feelings may or may not be on board. Maybe he's okay with it because Ford plans on bringing him? Maybe west coast tech has a strict no pet policy so stan would be left behind? Perhaps he accidently or on purpose does a classic cat thing and knocks over the machine and breaks it. Ford starts yelling, filbrick overhears, and cat stan is paralelling Canon stan on the sidewalk. Ford would probably fight back this time and would be arguing with his dad about the survival rates of domestic cats on the streets, and that's his little buddy! That's the only thing that kept him afloat after stan died! You can't toss him!

When, wait what's that? 100,000 hours is about 11 and a half years? Just about the amount of time for a maybe 6 yo to be 17 almost 18? POOF! Cat stan is now teen stan, still on the sidewalk in front his brother and father, and no one has any idea what to do next! Heck, stan doesn't know if he remembers how to do anything human! This is a very messy situation indeed. Don't steal candy, kids!

I don't expect this to be added to the list because you have had quite a number of additions, especially kitten ones. This just kind of brain wormed me and I thought I might as well word vomit.

This is so horrifying and tragic in so many ways.

Stan's been a cat longer than he was ever a person! This is like a more tragic version of 'Stan succumbs to the curse', becuase none of them know anything about magic! Their son was a cat! For years! He doesn't know how to funtion as a person at this point! He was his brother's pet cat! For his entire childhood! Does he even remember being Stanley? Remember that Ford's his twin and now his owner?

At that point i think he gets dragged back into the house and the whole family panics about the near 18 year old that doesn't remember how to talk to people or do anything. He has no education, no life skills, no ability to not say whatever's on his mind. Magic's real and it messed up Stanley for life. I think Ford works to be a for real wizard to track down the person who did this to his brother and end them. This is Ford's villain story. This is a whole Pines WTF moment. How would Filbrick even react to the confirmed knowledge that his son was their cat? He didn't want twins, but he had them and one of them was dead and is now a whole almost adult. I think it'd shake him. I don't think he could go back from that. I feel like he was a man rooted in the practical that got plunged into the whimsical and is now blue screening. I think this might be one of the few aus where he's not a complete dirtbag, because how can you think your sons a leech and a dead beat when he didn't even get to grow up.

They have to make up a whole fake story about him suddenly appearing on their doorstep and they think he escaped some kind of basement or something to explain his complete lack of social awareness.

[brothersapart]

Artwork by @mogadeer

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

no memory kitten Stan gets adopted by a mama cat from Susan’s little cluster.

Susan takes Stan to Ford because she’s worried about his growth and the vet wasn’t helpful.

ford really doesn’t care about the kitten, but it eventually worms its way into his heart because its BABY STAN! You bet he’s gonna be the most helpful he can! Ford doesn’t want to send him back :(

Fiddleford is teasing him

But mama comes back to be with her weird little baby and the cats reactions to Bills essence, not one, but two cats who are actually acting weird after bill fondles them may give Ford hint or two?

Augh :( This is so cute in all its heartbreaking potential.

Stanley wakes up on the street, itty bitty kitten, gets yoinked by mama cat, and Susan just coos and he's dubbed Mr. Curly before he can escape. There's probably a few other kittens about his size, and he get swept up in playing with them, even as he tries to escape to find his Ford.

Then the other kittens start growing, he's very small, the vet can't find anything wrong with him (and that was its own terrifying experience), so off to the other doctor who studies creatures in town!

A scientist is kind of like a vet right?

Wrong, says Ford, who handles this interaction on his front door step with all the grace of a child learning to use utensils, he's not a vet or any kind of pet expert. Take the cat somewhere else.

Thankfully for everyone Stanley latches onto Ford immediately. This guy looks like his pa and has hands like his bro! It must be some kind of clue! So through the power of Stanley Fords walls are worn down and he agrees to look into Mr. Curly. Then pesters Susan non stop to adopt Mr. Curly (who he will rename with something much more dignifying. Like Stanford Jr.)(Yes, Fiddleford is teasing him so much about this)

Shenanigans and custody battle ensue, both between Ford and Susan and Ford and mama cat, and its very obvious to everyone that Mr. Curly is obsessed with Ford for some reason which makes him very smug.

And then there's more cats in Fords house and all of them are wrecking only the Bill things in a very?? Targeted attack? and None of them like Ford after Bill helps with the calculations and its the only time Stanford Jr. Doesn't like him and Bill's excuse about Egypt sounds very thin now that he's had to do just. So much research about cats to prove to Susan that he's a far superior cat owner in his ongoing war with the waitress for this tiny kitten that's also suffering from some kind of growth curse.

From there... who knows! Might end with Ford breaking Stanley's curse and getting hit with baby brother feels, then mama cat still trying to scruff Stan and treat him like a kitten despite his mega growth spurt (thats her baby >:<) while Stanley explains Bill feels super evil. Then early Bill clean up, while Stanley gets a bunch of cheek pinches from Susan as she coos and tells him what a handsome kitten he was. Very embarrassing, even more so when he goes back to regular Stan and Susan coos at him and pinches his cheeks and tells him he grew up to be even more handsome like his big brother, and forever after Stan has to endure Susan calling Ford his older brother, despite multiple corrections about them being twins.

Which happens constantly as he breaks into her house to visit mama cat. FOR NO REASON! (Everyone only lightly teases him about this)

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

In reference to the old au of Stan’s mama cat from Susan’s house

BUT

with the “Nikola” storyline

https://clip.cafe//i-just-found-out-my-dad-isnt-really-dad/

he’s talking to Carla - about his mom

that isn’t his mom

it’s a cat

Ooof :( "Nikola" with kitten Stan thats- thats so sad :( He's just a little boy, and you're giving him identity and personhood issues?

Just a small baby boy :(

Then a small human boy once they watch that memory tube reel and realize this perma kitten in't a kitten, but a little boy. Twice as much angst at the reveal, and no one his holding Ford back from getting at least one swing in.

Its very hard to convince Stan his momma cat is not his real mom. Even as a little boy he calls the cat mom and, once his memories trickle back, decides she's also Fords mom.

It gets better after they fix the whole deaging problem, but Stan does keep calling her mom.

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

I like to think if Ford, frustrated with mama cat in foster kitten Stan, angrily grumbled the anti curse cure all, and was left with a small Stanley the custody battles would get worse.

Mama cat is absolutely trying to scruff stan to the cat tower.

Ford is frantically trying to figure out how to legally spin this???

Susan has an apprentice now. He's hers. Hes cat bait and can cook pancakes? Hired. Her son now.

Then Stan steals something (pebble off the floor of city hall) and mama can scruff him again.

He figures he could get mama cat out of the equation by turbo growing Stanford Jr and got a baby brother out of it lol.

While I do think mama cat is determined to keep her now giant kitten, I think Susan would understand she can't just. Keep a kid? Like that's very much Fords brother, he's having a breakdown about it, she's not gonna say 'finders keepers' about a kid old enough to tell everyone his name and about his six fingered brother.

But it is now Ford vs mama cat and Susan will still coo over Stan in all forms. It's too late for him there, he's cute. Mama cat will never surrender her baby kitten no matter the size, but now Stanley's big enough to carry her and she's less than happy with this. Quickly learns to grab and go whenever he goes kitten sized so Ford has to fight her for his brother.

This does not go away when Stan gets back to adult size. He's a full grown cat but she's still trying to scruff him away from Ford and grooming his curly fur and he does get made fun of for the cat that's determined to hide a grown man from his own brother. Everyone makes fun of Ford for not being his twins cat brother in her eyes and he won't admit the fact that it does kind of bother him. That's his bro >:( he shouldn't have to fight a cat for him >:(

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

what if Stan uses his innocent little face and trouble making powers to fuel the custody battle on purpose? Like yes, Susan’s gonna be a smart adult here, but STAN

STAN IS MISCHIEF INCARNATE

Like ford would maybe catch on but it’s been years since he’s been by CHILD Stan’s idea of fun and he fell for bills tricks

so would Stan get away with 2 moms and a distressed uncle brother

while Fiddlefords not in direct completion he SEES and he KNOWS that kid is being a smartass but ford just won’t cause no that’s my itty bitty brother and he’s cute and I love him

100% does Stanley incite violence between all of the parties battling for custody for his own amusement and whenever the mood suits him. Ford is too handsy and suddenly he's yowling for cat mom. Susan plays too rough and suddenly he's yowling for cat mom. Cat mom is too pushy and suddenly he's climbing into Fords sleeve where she can't reach, or if he's human he'll run off to hang out with Susan because she's 'nicer' than his uncle after Ford tells him he can't have candy. Stan tells Ford he's at Susan and Susan he's gonna hang out with his cat mom and tells his cat mom nothing so they all get mad at each other when Stan disappears to hang out in the woods.

This kid is using his cuteness for evil and Ford has unfortunately been struck by nostalgia and forgotten that Stan at ninish was running scams and crab fighting rings and generally starting his life of crime young, while mama cat thinks her tiny forever kitten is kinda stupid and needs constant rescuing, and Susan keeps falling for his innocent facade.

Only Fiddleford sees what's happening, but as long as he doesn't speak up about it he goes undetected and doesn't become a victim of Shenanigans so he's just laughing in the background while Stan plays them all.

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

😩

Foster kitten Stan and his meowmy

😭😭😭

the custody battles are gonna be FIRECE!

Stanley innocently paws at the book ford is reading, wanting to hear someone read to him just like Sixer does

so Ford gives in cuddles up to the kitten and reads - Advanced Physics for the Physically gifted

fiddleford: 🙄🤷‍♂️😑

Stan’s chilling (somewhat. Kinda not vibing with the book) but meowmy comes up and scruffs him and gets to the cat tower for a bath and cuddle (saves him from a boring book. You bet Ford never learned how to read a book interestingly. If it’s Sixer yeah Stan will vibe but Uncle Stanford is BORING sometimes)

ford after his custody minute: 😔

also I’m wondering if maybe since little Stan is a kitten if he’ll still be MR. Curly. I feel like maybe Susan would name him something cuter, like Curly fry (cause he’s still curly but SUCH a small fry, and she is a waiter at a restaurant - this women fell for Stan in canon she’s gonna be punny)

Hilariously, in Double Cursed Susan does name wolf Ford Fry, to match with Mr. Curly, so that together Mr. Curly and Mr. Fry make one whole Curly Fry lol.

And god thats so cute. He's her little curly fry. It adds to the embarrassment on his end so much. He's a man! A big boy even! He's not a fry >:(

The custody battle basically goes with Ford keeping Curly for 'observational purposes' to 'figure out his curse' (He could have it gone in less than a minute, he is getting this kitten. It loves him and he won't give up so easily. Plus Stanford Jr. Seems physically fine, so he's not worried about the cures), so Stanley's cat mom has to stay also, since he's her little baby (The rest are either already rehomed or independent, not tiny like he is), and Susan drops by constantly to check in on them (and to make it clear that Mr. Curly is her cat. She found him fair and square and he's got the cutest curly fur she's ever seen.)

Stanley wants to sit with Ford all the time, but mama cat will scruff him away and Susan plays best with him but is also annoying with how she coos. All of them are side eyeing each other (except for mama cat and Susan, who are barely on the same team), and Stanley's happily mewling in the middle.

To the side Fiddleford laughs, making fun of all of them and safe from their glares by virtue of not being competition.

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

just read your relativity catverse ask and I loved it! tho consider this: relativity Stan succumbing to the curse after thinking that a kitten is better than a brother (⁠~⁠￣⁠³⁠￣⁠)⁠~

Why ya'll trying to hurt this poor kid. Whats he ever done to you. Fords gonna be holding his missing twin brother and said brothers going to be acting like a cat. Which is cuter for kids but still not something you want to be happening to your brother.

The good news is that its much easier to snap Stanley out of it, as Ford just saw him a few months ago and has a much better idea of his hobbies and what he likes to do once Mabel or Dipper explain how to get him back into a human mindset. And, since its only been a few months instead of almost a full year, it'd be easier to do so.