hi! i loved what you're doing with kc now, can i request something like klaus and caroline doing something mundane and human and we see them living their married couple life? can be a drabble or a full lenth, what ever you want ;p
“Maybe this one?”
“I don’t get it.”
“What’s there not to get?”
“The fabric looks so…dull.”
“It’s supposed to have a shimmering effect in the sunlight.”
“That’ll just remind me of Twilight. No.”
“They're curtains.”
“So?”
Klaus clicks his tongue. “Love—”
“No. No. Do not use that tone with me, Niklaus Mikaelson.”
Ooh. Full named. He’s on thin ice now. “Sweetheart, it’s very simple. It’s a very simple choice, this one or that one.”
“It is so not a simple choice. We’re deciding on curtains for the living room. If you think that’s a simple decision you should just leave right now.”
He reminds himself that answering that is a trap.
Oh, how he wishes he could leave. There’s a new box of paints waiting for him at home, made from shells, a gift from Elijah, and he was hoping to get done with shopping and get home before three, at most.
It’s bloody six and he’s listened to Caroline drone on about stitching patterns for two fucking hours now. One would think they’d be done with the furniture by now, but no. They're just getting started on the upholstery. Heaven forbid Caroline’s exacting tastes allow any of his antique furniture pieces into the living room.
It’s from the fifteenth century, love—
It has clawed feet, Klaus. No.
Sweetheart—
I let you keep the bathtub, but I'm drawing the line on the ottoman. No.
It’s a fine piece—
A tacky one.
Well, I happen to think that of your patio table.
That had been a terribly stupid move.
So now, he’s being punished by being forced to give his opinions on furniture he doesn’t care about. He’s this close to pulling out his hair, and if he sees one more chair with birds on it he’ll be breaking it.
“Caroline—” he whines.
She shuts him up with a glare. “If I wanted to hear whining, I would’ve brought Enzo. Now, opinion.” She holds up two squares of fabric against the light. “Which one?”
Now, see. Klaus is an artist. He prides himself on being one of the best there are, not to brag, but one’s ability is refined after a thousand years. He’s been splashing colours onto surfaces ever since he can remember, the vibrant hues and shades leaving him fascinated since he was a boy. Paints, charcoal, the paint he made from various berries and flowers when he had been human…colours have never left him frazzled.
He knows for sure Caroline’s going to rip off his head when he tells her they’re the exact same colour.
Then he remembers he doesn’t particularly care about his curtains, so he says, “The one on the left.”
Caroline smiles. “There. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“Of course not,” he grumbles.
“Hm,” she says distractedly, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek and moving towards the counter. “We’ll get these, then. They’ll go great with your ottoman.”
Klaus’s eyes fly up to meet hers, and she gives him a small smile, one that never fails to leave him reeling. “I'm not a total dictator, you know. I don’t want it to only feel like my home, and not yours. I want it to be ours.”
It’s such a small gesture. In truth, Klaus hadn’t given the ottoman a second thought when they’d had that fight and she’d glared at him angrily and dragged it away to the attic, only focusing on how he could get her in a better mood if only to look at her smile again.
He loves it when she smiles, because oh, her smile is so beautiful. She’s so beautiful.
“Klaus?”
Caroline’s looking at him, her blue eyes concerned. “Are you okay? Did you hear what I said?”
“Yes,” he answers, drawing her in for a kiss. She goes forward with a surprised sound low in her throat, her hands resting on her shoulders. The saleslady clears her throat and Caroline jumps away from him, her face reddening as she turns to her and starts rambling about cushion covers and duvets.
Klaus watches her fondly, all traces of annoyance with her disappearing.
In truth, he’d let her cover the whole house in pink wallpaper if it meant he got to see her laugh every day.
7. What’s the last thing you read that made you cry?
Honestly it wasn’t a fic or anything, it was actually, this blinding beam of sunshine’s- ( @carolineforbae ) comment on my fic ‘It’s a Touch Regrettable’
This queen left a whole rant underneath the fic, unadulterated emotions flowing and spilling,Just the memory of it makes me wanna curl up on a warm bed of grass and weave flower garlands, that comment’s screenshot is actually my phone’s lockscreen picture. I’m not kidding.
I’m in a healthy happy married relationship with that comment and we were actually wondering about kids just yesterday, so yeah.
15. Post the last line you wrote without context.
‘But then she catches sight of Klaus’ face and she knows whats displayed across her eyes, it’s awe, it’s wonder, it’s reverence and most of all it’s such incriminating disbelief, and he knows just as much as she, those emotions only come from an undeserving woman. A woman with her head screwed on right enough to pass sound judgement on herself and decisively assign herself unworthy, but that doesn't stop her from greedily taking what she’s been given so freely, that she will take with thanks but would never pay it back, because how could she?
She is unfit for having it in the first place.’
17. Describe a fic that is still in the ‘ideas’ stage.
I’ll do you one better, here’s the aesthetic for a fic that has like “I came, I saw, I conquered” my mind, (pun intended, you’ll understand in a moment).
It’s been burning out my braincells like it’s on fire. I mean the amount of story plot lines and random dialogues that are literally bursting out of my mind like confetti strings honestly it was just all over the place I needed to calm down and compartmentalise so I did this to give the ideas in my head an image, and I got a bit carried away, clearly.
It’s an Ancient Rome-meets-Roman Gladiator-meets-Enemies to Lovers-meets-Mikael you son of a bitch I require your head on this platter, so please do the needful-meets-Caroline giving sponge baths to a dirty bruised yet victorious gladiator!klaus-meets-SMUT.
20. Do you have a favourite fanfic or author? If so, tag them/post a link and share the love!
The list of authors is too long, too too long, but I can bring it down to one person for you,
FIRST AND FOREMOST,
Like,
Lend me your ears my fellow plebes, as we stand in the presence of divine erudition, seasoned and soft yet coarse as velvet rubbed the wrong way, A blazing gloriole burst upon her lovely visage, cut her open and you shall find sands from a thousand realms spill forth, every flutter of her eyelash a turn of a page, Kingdoms have not crumbled at the touch of her hands, but the spine of a hundred tomes of sentiment narrated with unfettered reach have, bent with atlas humility as if to say, ‘have me, all of me’ and she devours.
Honestly I have no idea how to end this, but the ‘her’ I’m talking about is the one and only,
@cbk1000
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE HONOUR AND PRIVILEGE I FEEL TO EVEN SAY HER NAME,
LIKE BRO, hold me for a second,
This writer is by far the one writer who has captured Caroline, Klaus, Rebekah and Kol, in the most REALEST way.
Like she knows these characters and presents them to us in their most tragically raw state of being, no dilutions, no misplaced underlining, no flower crowns on their head, they are given to you shrivelled, hurt, broken and aged and you bow your head in reverence.
In their most downtrodden days we will cherish them, in their ugliest cruelest days of such evil no love diminishes, in their most deific of moments your knees will buckle and you will submit.
She does not sugarcoat and downplay the most disgusting aspects of their character, presents it to us as they are and tells us,“Hold them, they burn your hands, but hold them still.” and we will do it, like GOD I’M NOT ARTICULATING THIS WELL, hold on, lemme collect my thoughts
I MEAN SHE HAS KLAUS KILL A BABY, COOK yes, COOK SAID BABY AND THEN FEED THE ROASTED BABY TO ITS FATHER, ALL UNBEKNOWNST TO SAID FATHER AND I THINK ‘FINALLY, KLAUS AS KLAUS AND NOT KLAUS BUT CENSORED BLUR PLACED ON TOP OF EVERYTHING BUT HIS DICK.’
like does that make sense? I really hope that makes sense.
And OK her writing, like her WRITING itself, like remove Klaroline, remove the originals, remove vampires, werewolves, witches, etc etc, and give her a shoelace to right about and she will BLOW YOUR FCKING MIND AWAY. you will worship that piece of literary wonder, it’s poetry, it’s sacred scriptures, it’s imagery, its a fucking PAINTING.
that’s what it is,
IT’S A PAINTING and it’s A MOVING PICTURE.
She doesn’t create a world for you, no she’s nothing so boorish, she merely rules this universe of hers and she’s magnanimous enough to allow you entry, a visit, stay a few days, EXPERIENCE, LIVE, and then you leave a changed human, and this universe she rules will always have a special place in your heart and soul.
THE DEDICATION this writer shows to research, to historic accuracy, to literally EVERYTHING that is not necessarily the plot itself, GOD, that deserves a separate spiel for itself, the way she makes everything so AUTHENTIC, her describing the fall of the Romonav dynasty as just another byproduct of Klaus’ recreational machinations, JESUS, LIKE THAT transcends storytelling and now is sitting in a place called shared reverie.
I MEAN GO AND READ,
Wherewith to Sate Its Malice
For the Pikes Must be Together
Five Times the Sinner
AND MOST OF ALL,
AU Original series
and come back and read this author review, you’ll agree to everything I’ve said. I promise.
brother's best friend + klaroline + harry potter au
In foresight, perhaps he shouldn’t have offered to room with Elijah.
He was driving him bloody mad, what with him going to bed at ten and waking up at seven (because for heaven’s sake, who even did that on holiday?) and all his organizational tendencies. Klaus liked his room just the way it was, thank you very much, and that included his socks under his bed and his wand on his window pane and not in his drawer.
Elijah had somehow managed to organize Klaus’s room, turning it into some kind of haven for neat-freaks (They were in the twenty-first century, what kind of eighteen-year-old boy cleaned up after himself?) and it was driving Klaus up the wall when he had opened his closet that afternoon and had found the meagre amount of everyday robes he owned pressed and folded.
He liked his robes stuffed into his drawer, alright, sue him. Muggle clothes were much more comfortable. And Elijah had even ironed those.
He wouldn’t be surprised if he one day found his boxer briefs ironed too.
Elijah maintained he was doing it to influence Klaus on his organizational skills, but Klaus knew it was payback for rearranging his room last summer as a dare from Kol.
Klaus had no idea why he had managed to let Rebekah and Henrik wheedle him into coming home for Christmas, and normally, he could bring himself to regret it, but he couldn’t.
There was only one reason for that, and in Klaus’s opinion, it was a very valid one.
Caroline bloody Forbes.
Rebekah’s best friend, who had come home for the holidays as well, whose family had lived a few streets away since before she or he had been born. She had been a constant presence in Rebekah’s life since she had been able to crawl, what with them being born only a few months within each other. She had come to Hogwarts a year after he had, bright and inquisitive, as all her teachers remarked. He hadn’t been particularly close with her when they had been children, and had even spent time with her against his wishes to entertain her when Rebekah hadn’t been home when they had been children, but hadn’t really taken notice of her other than thinking of her as his little sister’s best friend.
They hadn’t really had a friendly relationship until she was fifteen, which mostly included both of them sniping at each other whenever possible and Elijah rubbing his temples as he tried to calm them down.
But when she had turned sixteen.
Good. Fucking. Lord.
It was like his view of her had done a complete one-eighty. Klaus had found himself captivated by Caroline when he had seen her on the train, his mouth dropping open at the sight of her. She had spent the last two months with her parents in Barbados on holiday, so although she hadn’t completely changed, there certainly were a few…aspects…that had…well…improved.
Not that she hadn’t been pretty before, but after that bloody vacation…
Her skin had become slightly tanned, and her hair had gotten longer and wavier. The colour had also become more prominent, and there had been a few freckles under her eyes.
Her eyes had stayed the same, but, then again, they had always been beautiful.
And she herself had also slightly changed. She had become slightly more sure of herself, become more confident and out-spoken that she had been last year. Rebekah claimed it had been because of some bad summer-fling experience bloke called Jesse, and even though Klaus hated the boy for doing something potentially hurtful to Caroline, he had thought that the new change looked good on her.
He had become completely vocal about his feelings to her, and had shamelessly flirted with her, alone, and in front of people. Rebekah had gone completely ballistic when she had found out, but had gotten over it (after three months or four), and Kol had simply rolled his eyes. Elijah simply didn’t care, and he told him that plainly, but was also clear if he did go out with her, he wasn’t to string her along.
“She is still Rebekah’s friend, Niklaus, and if you do manage to woo her, you are not to sway her with false intentions,” he had told him sternly.
Well, that hadn’t been a problem, Klaus thought grumpily, since it had been a year and Caroline still hadn’t succumbed to his charms. In fact, she had somehow managed to hate him even more when she had found out.
And false intentions were the last thing on his mind.
Kol had laughed gleefully when he found out that Caroline had rejected Klaus the first time, and had fallen off his bed howling when Rebekah told him about the second time. The third time had ended with Kol in the hospital wing and Klaus in detention scraping gum off the desks in the potions classroom.
It hadn’t been a good day.
Caroline snapped at him every time he flirted with her, and he couldn’t for the life of him understand why since every other available female (and a male or two) his age wanted to shag him. It wasn’t because of sex, Klaus was sure of that, because she was no blushing virgin, if the tales he had heard from Tyler Lockwood were accurate.
Of course, that had ended with Lockwood in the hospital wing for a month after when a drunken Kol explained what he had done to Caroline a few months ago.
Caroline hadn’t said anything to him, hadn’t yelled at him or thanked him, but her antagonistic behaviour had gone slightly down, and Klaus had thought that she could be softening enough for him to try his luck with her another time.
Sadly, he had been proven wrong.
She growled at him when he flirted with her, snapped at him when he made innuendos about the two of them, had even attempted to hex him one time.
They had gotten detention for supposed duelling, but they had done detention together, and Klaus chose to look on the bright side of things.
He had stayed at Hogwarts a year after his graduation, interning under his Defence Against The Dark Arts professor for a more thorough understanding of dark spells and curse-breaking.
And it had been a year since then, and the subject of his every thought was right in the next room, sharing a wall, sleeping next to Rebekah. The walls were pretty thin, sometimes he could even hear her soft breathing as she slept.
This was one such night, and Klaus found himself walking down to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea to help him to sleep. He did not want to think of her sleeping, as those thoughts lead to the clothes she wore when she slept, which then lead to uncomfortable situations.
But, of course, he found Elijah in the kitchen as well, taking out the sugar and a mug for himself as well.
“Couldn’t sleep?” he asked Klaus, eyeing him through the cabinet’s glass door.
“No, I just felt that three am was the appropriate time for tea,” Klaus drawled, making Elijah roll his eyes.
“I'll make you a cup,” he said, taking another one out, before muttering, “or two, you sound even snippier today.”
“I heard that,” Klaus scowled.
“Keep your voice down, Niklaus, Kol will be up and we both want him to sleep through the night, don’t we?”
If it was one thing Klaus and Elijah agreed on, it was keeping Kol asleep for as long as possible to keep him from causing trouble.
“Why are you up?” Klaus asked Elijah, his eyes drifting to the quill and parchment on the table. A sly grin spread across his face when he noticed the too familiar swirls of hot pink ink on a few pieces of parchment littering the floor. “Ah, I see. Trouble in paradise with Katerina, is it?”
“There’s no trouble in paradise with Katerina,” Elijah gritted out. “There is no trouble at all.”
“Or paradise?” Klaus grinned.
“No,” Elijah growled. “We’re just having trouble with the long distance thing, that’s all. It’s working out fine.”
Klaus ducked his head and smirked, knowing that Elijah would probably spend the whole vacation fretting about his relationship with Katerina, who was all the way in Bulgaria studying dragons. At twenty, Elijah and his school girlfriend had travelled in different directions for their careers, but were trying to make it work.
“Of course,” he said dryly, taking his cup from Elijah. “And what a lovely thing that is. We wouldn’t want to let go of Katerina, of all people in our lives, what with her being an absolute delight.”
Elijah gave him a look of loathing his charms professor would’ve been proud of. “I wouldn’t talk too much about my love life, Niklaus, taking a look at yours.”
“Don’t you mean his non-existent love life?” Kol asked, striding into the room, much to Elijah’s chagrin. “You morons. Do you even know how loud you two are being? You're lucky you haven’t woken Bex or Caroline up yet.”
“And you? Did we wake you up? Or did you simply follow me into the kitchen ad have been eavesdropping ever since?” Elijah sniffed.
Kol flashed a grin and held up an Extendable Ear. “Guilty. And why wouldn’t I, with such an interesting topic to talk about, along with even more tantalizing subjects? My, my are those girls of yours pretty, brothers.”
Elijah narrowed his eyes, and Klaus growled. “Kol, be quiet. Niklaus, restrain yourself.”
“Yes, Nik, do restrain yourself. Murdering me isn't going to help your case with Caroline, if it can be helped.”
“Kol, you're lucky you're still alive right now.”
“Kol is lucky to survive each passing day, Nik, considering how much he seems to get away with in front of Mum and Dad,” said Henrik, strolling into the kitchen, already up an Extendable Ear to answer Elijah’s upcoming question.
Klaus gritted his teeth. “Honestly, there’s no bloody privacy in this house. What is wrong with you all? Why can't you be more like Finn?”
“Dull?” Kol piped up.
“Finn is not dull, Kol—”
“Oh, shut up, Elijah, we all know Finn’s dull,” Henrik said irritably.
“Go back to bed, Henrik. Now.”
“I can't sleep,” said Henrik, ignoring Elijah’s order. “And since you lot were being so bloody loud, I decided to investigate. All for nothing, I suppose, if I'm going to receive treatment like this,” he said, glaring at Elijah, then moving towards the refrigerator. “Didn’t Mum buy ice-cream today?”
“I ate it,” Kol said proudly.
Henrik threw an apple at Kol, whose face was saved any damage by an inch by Elijah’s quick wandwork, with made the apple burst into tiny feathers. Kol snarled and moved towards Henrik, who slammed the refrigerator door shut.
“Quiet!” Elijah hissed, making both of them stop in their tracks. “Rebekah and Caroline are both sleeping, and it is three in the morning. Go back to bed. All of you. Now!”
“For someone who’s telling us telling us to be quiet, he’s certainly making a lot of noise. Rather hypocritical of you, Elijah,” Klaus said, who had been observing the exchange with an amused expression.
Elijah let out a growl. “Making tea was a mistake. Go up to bed. Right now.”
“Why, so you can sit here and write to your stupid girlfriend in peace?” Henrik grumped. “Find a new one, Elijah. Katherine scares me.”
“Katerina,” Elijah corrected.
“Potato, potahto,” Henrik said, waving a hand dismissively. “She’s frightening, Elijah, how are you not scared of her?”
“I’m sure his fear of her is eased by her…other…talents,” Kol said, smirking, making Klaus choke into his tea and Henrik snort.
“Enough!” Elijah snarled. “Kol, Niklaus, Henrik, I want you all upstairs in one minute otherwise Rebekah will wake up. And then, so will Caroline.”
“Oh, don’t worry, Elijah, I'm sure Nik wouldn’t mind,” Kol grinned, making Klaus cease his laughing at once, causing Henrik to laugh even more.
“You're one to talk,” Klaus growled. “Whatever did happen with Davina Claire, Kol? Mind sharing with the class?”
Kol’s expression soured. “Keep your bloody nose out of it, Nik.”
“Well, I certainly don’t mind sharing,” Klaus said, sitting up straighter. “Kol attempted to use his wiles to charm Davina Claire into his bed and instead was hit under each knee with his own broom.”
Henrik doubled over laughing, clutching his stomach, and Elijah hastily cast a silencing charm on the door. Kol growled.
“And just in case you don’t believe me, I charmed a muggle camera device to work and recorded the whole thing,” Klaus said smugly.
“Piss off, Nik.”
“It was glorious,” Klaus said happily.
“Is that why you tease Nik about him and Caroline?” Henrik asked.
Kol smirked. “Hen, there is no Nik and Caroline. He’s desperately, head over heels in love with her, and she hates him. It’s wonderful.”
Klaus growled. “If you're going to have so little faith, Kol, we won't name you godfather of our child.”
“I thought I was promised that honour,” Elijah said indignantly.
“And you're going to be, Elijah,” Klaus said to him, snarling at Kol.
“Oh, come on, we all know Elijah’s too stuffy to be named godfather of Nik’s future kid even if he doesn’t knock up Caroline. Who’s going to tell the kid tales about his parents’ love story?” Kol sniggered.
“It’ll be Caroline,” Klaus said, his tone making it clear that the matter was already decided.
“She hasn’t even gone out with you yet, can hardly stand to look at you on a good day—”
“I don’t even understand why, I've done absolutely nothing wrong—” Klaus protested.
“You hung Stefan Salvatore from the ceiling by his ankles the week before, Niklaus,” Elijah said dryly. “I happen to think she’s rather fond of her friend.”
“Bloody Salvatore,” Klaus grits out. “As much as I love Caroline, her taste in friends is questionable.”
“I think they’re shagging,” Rebekah said, waltzing into the room, sitting on one of the bar stools. “At least, that’s what I think she told me.”
“WHAT?” Klaus roared, making Henrik start and Rebekah jump slightly, causing her to growl at him.
“Well, I think they are, I never said they were. And, really, Elijah? Silencing charms? I was up before Kol came into the kitchen. Make me some tea. You're lucky Caroline is such a heavy sleeper.”
“Yes, yes, that’s all very well, Bekah, but coming back to the more important point, Caroline’s shagging Salvatore?” Klaus says, unable to keep the fury from his tone. She wouldn’t go out with him, and would instead choose to shag Stefan bloody Salvatore?
Had someone hexed her?
“Nik,” Rebekah said, her tone irritable. “Stefan is a sweet, smart, and caring person. He’s good for her, much unlike you.”
“Bekah, I will strangle you—”
“Niklaus,” Elijah said, his tone edged.
Klaus slammed his fist down onto the table, making Henrik start. “Rebekah, did Caroline, or did she not, tell you she was shagging Salvatore?”
“I don’t know exactly,” Rebekah said, adding a spoon of sugar to her cup. “But she had said he looked cute, and that he was very talented—”
“Talented in what?”
“You're a man, Nik, I'm sure you know,” Henrik sniggered, earning a death glare from Klaus.
“Why are you getting so worked up, Nik?” Rebekah asked irritably. “You're not her boyfriend, you can't get possessive.”
But he could get murdery.
He was allowed to do that. Probably.
“Find out,” Klaus told Rebekah, looking blankly at the wall. “Whether or not she’s dating Salvatore.”
“His name is Stefan, Nik, you could at least—”
“No.”
Rebekah sighed. “He’s a really nice, Nik, he’s really smart too. He’s really good in Herbology, and he was top of the class for harvesting Wormwood before anyone else could. Everyone was really impressed, and we—”
“We?” Elijah asked dryly, looking at Rebekah, who turned a slight shade of pink. “Or just you?”
Klaus looked at her quizzically; so did Henrik. Kol, however, had a smug smile on his face.
“Stefan Salvatore, Rebekah?” Elijah asked, a disapproving look on his face. Klaus looked between them, not sure what was going on.
“You know, Bekah, last I talked to Caroline, she said she became friends with Stefan in the first place because of you,” Kol smirked. “Either Caroline deceived me, which she rarely does, or you're not telling the truth.”
Rebekah bit her lip. Klaus groaned. “Am I missing something? What's going on?”
“Caroline and Stefan aren’t shagging, Nik, Rebekah and Stefan are,” Kol said gleefully.
“So I have reason to hate Salvatore either way?”
“Oh, this should be fun,” Henrik muttered.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Elijah asked indignantly, looking at Rebekah over the counter as she nervously pulled on her braid and batted Henrik’s away when he tried to as well.
“Because you lot never like my boyfriends!” Rebekah grumbled. “And you're always so mean to them. Especially Nik.”
“Just looking out for you, Bekah. They’ll know not to hurt you,” said Klaus, mentally counting the number of knives they had in the kitchen at the time.
“Oh, Bekah, you should’ve known better than to use Caroline’s name instead of your own,” Kol chided. “You nearly gave poor Nik a heart attack. You know how he detests Salvatore. And how he wants Caroline to have his babies.”
“Kol!” Rebekah screeched.
“What? He does. We all know it. He knows it. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he already has their names picked out like a fifteen-year-old girl.”
“Watch it, Kol,” Klaus snarled.
“Oh, you do, don’t you? What are they? I promise I won't tell Caroline, even if they're weird. They’re weird, aren’t they? Can I tell Caroline?”
“Can we please stop talking about my brother and best friend’s hypothetical children?” Rebekah asked, covering her ears with her hands. “It’s putting disgusting images in my head.”
“The making process?” Kol grinned.
“KOL!” Klaus roared. “SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I’LL TEAR YOU APART IN FRONT OF CAROLINE!”
“I HATE YOU, KOL!”
“But imagine how cute they’d be!” Kol said happily, seemingly intent on making all of them suffer. “One all sunshiny and one all surly. It’s perfect!”
“Elijah, we’re going to be down a brother. You're going to have to explain Kol’s sudden disappearance to Mother and Father,” Klaus growled, rolling up his sleeves.
“Mum said no fighting in the house,” Henrik said, sounding like a five-year-old.
“Do I look like I care?”
“Calm yourself, Niklaus.”
“But Caroline isn't dating anyone, is she, Bekah?” Kol asked seriously, turning to Rebekah. Rebekah shook her head glumly. “Well, that ought to cheer Nik up. How are you feeling, Nik?”
“Still irritable,” Klaus snarled.
“Remember, Nik, if you kill me, Caroline will never forgive you. You’ll be Caroline-less. She’ll ever date you. Forget her having your beautiful imaginary babies.”
“Stop talking, Kol,” said Elijah, rubbing his temples.
“Nobody wants to be Caroline-less,” Kol said earnestly, shaking his head vigorously.
Klaus sighed. “I give up, Kol. I won't kill you. Today.”
“Lovely,” said Elijah, a smile that was all teeth appearing on his face. “Now, I'm going back to bed, and I didn’t want to use this tactic, but unless you all go to bed right this instant, I'll destroy the coffee maker with a hex, and Caroline won't be able to have her morning coffee.”
There was a scramble as everyone moved out of the chairs, and even when Klaus settled into bed, the tea not having helped at all, he couldn’t help but fid the sound of Caroline’s soft breathing oddly relaxing.
OOO
“Coffee,” said Caroline groggily, moving towards the coffee machine, her arms outstretched. “I need coffee.”
She reached out for her mug in the cabinet, only to find a fresh-made pot of coffee on the dining room table. She raised an eyebrow suspiciously; no-one in this house drank coffee. The perils of being British, she supposed.
“Caroline!” Kol crowed from behind her, and Caroline turned around with a weary sigh to see Kol jumping towards her, Klaus slowly following from behind, making her fold her arms. He gave her flirtatious smile and she shot him a glare, turning back to Kol.
“Kol. Where’s Rebekah?”
“Good morning to you too, Friend I’m Generous Enough To Host And Make Coffee For Even Though I Don’t Like It,” Kol said pointedly. “Let us forget about Rebekah for the moment and have breakfast, shall we? We have so much to catch up on.”
“It’s been nine hours since we last talked, Kol. And it’s eight a.m. So no.”
“Oh, come now, Caroline. Indulge Kol and his whims. They worsen by the day, I'll have you know, as he becomes more energetic,” Klaus said, taking a sip of his tea.
Caroline gave him a once-over, then looked at Kol. “What could you possibly want to catch up on? We talked about literally everything in the known universe yesterday. You made me sit with you for three hours and cut into my muggle yoga class.”
Klaus’s hand jerked making tea spill all over the table, making Kol snicker and Caroline close her eyes in frustration. “Yoga?” Klaus asked, his voice strained.
“Yes, yoga, Klaus. It’s not that uncommon. And stop staring at me like that, it’s not like you’ve just realized I have good legs,” she said without thinking.
Klaus smirked. “No, that realization occurred a long time ago, sweetheart.”
“God, shut up.”
OOO
“Caaaaaaroline,” Kol sang as he bounced towards her, making her look up from her parchment wearily.
“Kol, not now. I'm studying.”
“But I want to show you something important.”
“Kol, if this is about the orange flobberworm that you thought was pregnant yesterday, I swear to god—”
“No, it’s not that, and I was right anyway. It laid eggs in Elijah’s lettuce bed.”
“How do you know that it was Elijah’s lettuce bed?”
“He threw a raging fit for a pre-decided time today.”
“Okay. That’s it. I'm done. One day with your wacko family is enough. I'm going home. If you need me, send a patronus. I'm only a house away.”
“Wait, Caroline,” Kol said, flopping down on her bed. “We didn’t get a chance to talk this morning because of Nik and his incessant drooling over your shapely legs.”
“Creepy, Kol.”
“Your words, not mine.”
“I never said that—”
“Moving on, Rebekah, Henrik, and I have prepared something I'd like you to see.”
“If you built that terrarium for the flobberworm that you'd talked about, Kol—”
“It’s not about the flobberworm,” he whined. “It’s a lot more important, so you have to see it. You don’t have a choice, actually, I don’t know why I bothered asking you. Nevertheless, Bekah, Henrik, and I think it will be useful in your future life decisions.”
Caroline sat up. “Is it information about future employment opportunities in the Ministry—”
“God, Caroline, are you ever not boring? No, it is not about your silly job opportunities and whatnot. It’s actually something much better.” He motioned towards the door and Rebekah and Henrik strode in, followed by a reluctant Elijah.
“Because Bekah has agreed to ask Stefan the Brooder to develop a flobberworm-resistant pesticide for Elijah. Tedious thing, that. But easy when you fancy yourself in love,” Kol said, smirking towards Rebekah, who sneered at him in response.
“Don’t tease her, Kol,” Caroline said sharply, even though she internally agreed with Kol. “And you’ve got ten minutes, so you better make this good and quick.”
“That’s what she said,” Kol sniggered, and yelped as Elijah whacked him over the head. “Alright, alright, I'm sorry. You'll have to come downstairs for this, Caroline, we need the TV for this.”
Technically, TVs weren't a magic thing and weren't allowed in most households, but Kol had fallen in love with the thing after seeing it at a muggle thing and they had somehow smuggled a ninety inch plasma TV into the Mikaelson house.
Narrowing her eyes, she followed Kol downstairs, where she flopped down onto the couch. Kol turned o the TV and went to the mirror option, connecting it to his laptop. Raising an eyebrow, she looked at him as Rebekah and Henrik stood in front of him, and Rebekah clasped her hands, looking at the screen.
Elijah looked deeply uncomfortable as Caroline looked at him, not meeting her eyes.
“Shall we get started?” Rebekah asked, and Caroline raised her eyebrows suspiciously as Henrik handed her a glass of wine and a plate filled to the brim with the dark chocolate cookies Freya had recently sent over.
“Wine and cookies? Is this bribery?” she drawled. “To make sure I don’t cause a scene if I don’t like whatever this is?”
“Of course not,” Rebekah said, looking offended, then shooting her a smile. “But do inform us if you feel the need for more wine.”
Caroline snorted, and Rebekah turned to Kol. “Switch it on, please, Kol.”
Kol pressed the remote, and the screen blinked as a slide came into the view, proudly displaying the words:
WHY CAROLINE SHOULD DATE NIK.
PRESENTED BY: KOL, REBEKAH, AND HENRIK MIKAELSON
ASSISTED BY ELIJAH MIKAELSON
Caroline promptly spat out her wine.
Elijah looked like he was about to melt into a puddle of guilt next to her, and Rebekah and Kol just rolled their eyes. “Honestly, Caroline, I'd appreciate it if we were able to get through this with minimal fuss.”
“Minimal fuss? MINIMAL FUSS? You prepared a fucking PowerPoint presentation on why I should date your brother and you're telling me not to be fussy? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“No, we aren’t,” Rebekah said irritably. “Now sit your scrawny arse back down and listen.”
“I'm sure Nik would disagree that her arse is scrawny, seeing that he looks at it almost every chance he gets—”
“Stop talking about her arse, you pervert—”
“I'm leaving,” Caroline said, getting up.
Rebekah turned to Elijah, her expression full of desperate determination. “Elijah, now!”
Looking like he was the worst possible person to ever be born on the planet, Elijah held up his wand, muttered something and Caroline fell back down onto the couch, twin shackles twisting around her wrists and pinning her to the seat.
“Ooh, this could have promising uses, ‘Lijah, you simply must teach me that spell,” Kol said gleefully, causing a revolted Elijah to turn back to Caroline with a pleading look on his face.
“You must understand, Caroline, that I was blackmailed, I wanted nothing to do with this—”
Rebekah snorted. “Nothing to do with this, my arse. Weren't you the one muttering about Nik and Caroline’s incredibly annoying unresolved sexual tension yesterday?”
Elijah turned to Rebekah with a betrayed look on his face. And Caroline had had enough by that point. “Where’s Klaus?” she demanded, looking around as if he’d vanish from thin air. “He’ll put a stop to this.”
“Nik is out with Finn's kids,” Rebekah said daintily. “They wanted ice-cream, and Nik wanted to drink, so the kids are probably at a friend’s house while Finn thinks they're with Nik, while Nik is probably drowning his thoughts away.”
“It’s eleven am on a Sunday.”
“And it’s Nik. Moving on to the first slide. Kol, if you'd please.”
Caroline had figured out she had no choice in the matter, and instead of wasting her energy on protesting, it was better to just sit, watch, and ignore the whole thing completely.
SLIDE ONE: NIK IS TALL
“Tall? Really?” Caroline snorted despite herself. “That’s your opening statement? I’m literally three inches shorter than him.”
“Caroline, shut up and listen.”
Studies have shown that women are more attracted to men taller than 5’9”, a height which Nik surpasses. Studies have also shown that men with tall heights also have large penises.
“KOL!” Caroline screeched. “Stop the presentation! Stop it now!”
“Look, Caroline, I hated writing that part as much as you did, and even though it made me want to tear out my own wind pipe, it is a relevant point. It took a lot of effort for me not to throw up while writing it, so you will listen.”
SLIDE TWO: NIK IS BRITISH
“You're all British.”
“Caroline, stop interrupting.”
Studies have shown that women, particularly American ones, are attracted to men with British accents. As stated by Miss April Young, friend of Caroline Forbes, she too, is a part of this propaganda.
Caroline blushed. Just because she thought Orlando Bloom was hot in Pirates of the Caribbean did not mean she was part of the stereotype, okay?
Okay, maybe she was. Just a little bit.
SLIDE THREE: NIK IS AN ARTIST
“This is like a Tinder profile, Caroline commented dryly.
“Technically, it is,” said Rebekah, picking at her nails.
“Klaus is going to kill you.”
“What he doesn’t know won't hurt him, Caroline, and I thought I told you to stop interrupting.”
Nik is a very talented artist, who has had artistic experience more than fifteen years.
“Kol, five of those years went by in finger painting.”
“Read the slides, Caroline.”
Studies have shown that women enjoy men who are artists, relishing the fact that these men like to draw them naked.
“Are you kidding me?” Caroline screeched. “This is your brother!”
“It’s less painful to write this than go through another minute of your irritating sexual tension, Caroline,” Rebekah complained. “But, yes, you're right, we just couldn’t write this, so we bribed Stefan to.”
SLIDE FOUR: NIK IS ATTRACTIVE
Caroline pressed her lips together silently. Okay, so maybe, this one was slightly true.
Nik is an attractive eighteen-year-old man, who has blonde hair and blue eyes. Studies have shown women are more attracted to men fitting this description. Nik also is intelligent, and has nice eyes. Due to Caroline being attractive as well, their children will be beautiful.
“KOL!”
“Don’t blame me, Rebekah added that.”
Below the lines was a photo of Klaus lounging against a wall, taken at Freya’s wedding.
Okay, if Caroline bit her lip after looking at it, it was only because he was wearing a suit, and suits looked hot on everyone. It was like girls and lingerie.
Caroline rolled her eyes. “You forgot to mention that he knows he's attractive and he's incredibly full of himself.”
“Let’s focus on the main points, shall we?” said Kol, clicking the remote.
SLIDE FIVE: NIK IS ALREADY IN LOVE WITH CAROLINE
Nik is already in love with Caroline, and has clearly shown his affection by flirting with her and desperately begging her to go out with him multiple times, once even offering to not hex Lorenzo St. John for a week, something that is a great hardship for Nik.
Caroline sniffed. “He’s an ass.”
“Enzo? I agree,” Rebekah said, sneering, pressing a button.
SLIDE SIX: GIVE NIK A CHANCE, HE’S WORTH IT. AND IF YOU DON’T, WE’LL BE BACK WITH PART TWO. THANK YOU
PRESENTED BY: KOL, REBEKAH, AND HENRIK MIKAELSON
ASSISTED BY ELIJAH MIKAELSON
Caroline shot them all a look of fury, especially to Kol. “First of all, I hate you all. Not you, Elijah, I'm just disappointed.”
Elijah looked close to tears at the amount of regret on his face. Kol and Rebekah huffed. “So, are you going to give Nik a chance or not? If you're not, we already have Henrik working on the next part.”
Before Caroline could say anything, a clicking sound was heard from the door, and Klaus stepped back inside, his hair dusted with snow. Unlike his younger siblings, he was not oblivious, and his attention was turned to the screen, which, despite Rebekah, Kol, and Henrik’s desperate attempts to turn off the screen. His dark eyes caught on the screen, and he turned towards the five people sitting on the couch.
“What is this?” he asked, his voice dangerously soft.
“Now, Nik, don’t get testy—”
“Kol, shut up,” Henrik hissed. “You'll make things worse.”
“I don’t make things worse, you make things worse, you and Rebekah, you're both the same, always pinning the blame on me—”
“Kol, shut up—”
“Rebekah, I will rip out your tongue—”
Klaus slowly walked towards them, looking at Elijah. “Elijah? You were involved in this?”
“I had no choice, Niklaus, they threatened to die my ties pink with Lockhart’s non-reversible dye—”
But Klaus had stopped paying attention, he was now looking at the screen, which was still displaying the words from the last slide. “Well?” he prompted, passing Rebekah the remote. “As it’s about me, I have a right to see it. Turn it on.”
Muttering under her breath about controlling elder brothers, Rebekah pressed the button, and the screen flashed to the first slide.
Klaus grinned.
Caroline’s cheeks burned.
“Well, well, well,” he drawled, the ever-present smirk on his face. “Looks like our little situation got so desperate that my siblings had to intervene. Regretting not giving into my requests before, love?”
“Shut up, Klaus,” Caroline gritted out.
“Hm,” he said, then went over to the next slide. “Nik is tall,” he read out. “I am tall, thank you, Kol. Studies have shown—ah. I imagine Stefan is permanently traumatized, Bekah?”
Rebekah shot him a venomous look.
“Nik is British. What a tremendously surprising announcement. All women, particularly American ones, are attracted to men with British accents…and it looks like you're part of the club, love,” Klaus smirked, looking at Caroline.
“I hate you,” Caroline seethed.
“Apparently not,” Klaus mused. “Since I have a British accent and all.”
“Fuck you.”
“Oh, yes please,” he said, his tone low, and Caroline restrained a huff. His siblings all covered their ears, and Elijah chose that moment to apparate, Kol, Rebekah, and Henrik running out of the room.
Klaus read the rest of the presentation in silence, his smug smile growing with every slide. When it was finally over, he switched off the TV and vanished Caroline’s shackles, causing her to fold her arms across her chest, glaring at him.
Klaus, for his part, said nothing, merely looked at the floor and smiled.
“It is not funny,” Caroline hissed.
“I know, I know,” he grinned.
“Then stop laughing!” she snarled, and he immediately looked back at her, pressing his lips together. They sat on the couch together in silence for a few minutes, before Klaus spoke again.
“Why won't you go out with me?”
She didn’t even have to think about her answer. “Because you want to sleep with me, and I'm not going to be another notch on your bedpost.”
Klaus looked at her, his expression quizzical. “Is that all you think you would be?”
“Yes.”
Klaus let out an incredulous laugh. “For someone so intelligent, you're really quite dense sometimes.”
“What?”
“I am in love with you,” he said quietly, and Caroline’s breath hitched. “I am in love with you, and it is as simple as that. And when one loves someone, he doesn’t merely aim to bed her. He aims for everything. And I want everything. I want you, Caroline. So go out with me. Take a chance.”
She stared at him wordlessly.
“Go out with me, and you won't regret it. I promise.”
She looked at him, and his lips curved into a smile. “I dare you.”
There it was.
She turned around, cast an imperturbable charm on the door, hearing Kol, Rebekah, and Henrik’s loud huffs of irritation, and looked back at Klaus, her eyes calculating. “Yes.”
He leaned back slightly, taken aback. “Yes?”
“Yes,” she repeated. “Yes, I will go out with you. I will date you. You get one chance,” she said, leaning forwards and placing just a hint of a kiss on his lips, “so make it count.”
“Oh, I intend to,” he vowed, pulling her towards him and kissing her, this one laden with promises.
She wouldn’t tell Kol and Rebekah, not just yet.
Looking at the second presentation would be amusing, anyway.
